chaosmindthoughts

[chaosmindthoughts]

Everything's real but the feelings are blurry

#that's me though

[chaosmindthoughts]

#lesbian #wlw post #women loving women #i love women #femmes #all lesbians #lesbian visibility day #pics #not original

[chaosmindthoughts]

I have so many drafts and no time to finish them i just be reposting atp. I really need to settle down aghhh

#school #life #busy asf #no time but awesome ideas tho

[chaosmindthoughts]

You don't need to save me but would

you runaway with me?

[chaosmindthoughts]

"i would die for you" this, "i would kill for you" that. what about "i would live for you" what about i would smile for you, find joy in small things for you, i would endure, hope, survive, thrive for you. i would dive head first into this unknown, terrifying inkwell known as existence for you.

[chaosmindthoughts]

I told her about the rage.

How I don't know where it comes from

Yet it consumes me.

How I've tried passive, violent, silent,

And none of it makes a difference.

I would never hurt her,

But she deserved to know the truth -

That the illusion of a gentle trickle, a quiet stream

Hides an angry, deadly river within me.

I told her about the rage.

And she told me she loves me anyways.

[chaosmindthoughts]

That feeling when your body is requesting something but you're not sure what so you just start eating and drinking random stuff to try and figure it out

[chaosmindthoughts]

“If I tried to explain, you could never understand: / Explaining would only make a worse misunderstanding; / Explaining would only set me farther away from you.”

T.S. Eliot, from The Complete Poems & Plays; “The Family Reunion,”

[chaosmindthoughts]

"you cant heal if you pretend you're not hurt"

-filmythings

#it's more of my own expectations rn #cause yeah #it's true #i had to be strong in that moment #but I don't have to be anymore #tho they say the more you do something #it becomes part of your character #so #how do I stop #when this is me #how do I give my soul a moment to breath #when will the world find somewhere else to lean on that's not my shoulders

[chaosmindthoughts]

— Franz Kafka, from Letters to Milena (via lumamonchtuna)

#this is so relatable gosh

[chaosmindthoughts]

E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born, tr. Richard Howard

[chaosmindthoughts]

[chaosmindthoughts]

Thank you for this poem.

put down the world, soldier mine. your body is strong, i know, but you are not granite. your shoulders were not made to bend so steep. your knees were not made to buckle so low. your bones were not made to hold so much. Atlas was a condemnation, not a guidebook on how to bear the weight of the world.

rest your wings, soldier mine. you were made to fly, i know, but not like this. the sun above is not meant to be your seduction. the ocean below is not meant to be your enemy. the jetstream is not meant to be your companion. Icarus was a warning, not a challenge to see how high you can soar.

lay down your weapons, soldier mine. you fight so well, i know, but not every battle is yours. your fists are not damned to be perpetual weapons. your scars are not damned to mark you in disgrace. your blood is not damned to spill upon a sword. Achilles was a cautionary tale, not an instruction manual on how to fight to your death.

soldier mine, you are not Atlas nor Icarus nor Achilles.

you are only you, soldier mine, and i am only yours, and we are only this here now.

- by sylvie (j.p.)

#written about me #written for me #written to me

[chaosmindthoughts]

Miller's Girl (2024)

[chaosmindthoughts]

call me at 2am and tell me you cant sleep without me

[chaosmindthoughts]

[chaosmindthoughts]

Patching only delays the inevitable; sometimes, letting go is necessary when the wounds keep reopening.

How can you say that our story meant something to you when you don't mourn for the pages burnt away?