cdej

[cdej]

7TH OF APRIL 2023

It's been a while tumblr, my safe place, Namiss ko magentry hehe caus ako ay dakilang taga reblog and reader lang talaga dito.

So how are you guys? I hope you okay naman kayo right now. I know may kanya kanya tayong silent battles right now. Wag na wag tayong susuko, okay? and wag naten hayaan masyado ung ibang tao naten na pakiealaman tayo. hehe

Ako ba kamusta? Medyo maraming changes and pag aadjust since then but sobrang nalulungkot lang ako since until now hindi ko pa din alam kung san ako magaling or mag eexceed. Nakakapagod na, nakakapagod na fvck haha. Minsan naisip ko kelan kaya mabibigay sakin ni Lord yung breaks ko. Nakakasawa na maging average person nalang palagi. Naprepressure na ko sa lahat ng bagay. Hayuf na stage na to HAHAHAHAHA

Wala na, nararamdaman ko na, i know malapit na iiwan naden ako ng mga mahahalagang tao sa paligid ko kahit sobrang konti nalang sila. Deserved ko naman ata kasi hindi naman talaga siguro ako ka stay stay and for keeps.

Mom and Dad, sorry because i'm totally a failure. Hindi ko naabot kung ano yung iniexpect nyong mangyare sakin. Ginawa lo naman lahat talaga :( pasensya na.

Eto lang masasabi ko, hindi padin naman ako nagsisi na nabuhay ako pero .....

#P

[cdej]

i need someone to stay for once. i need someone to make me feel a little less disposable, a little easier to love, a little easier to want. i don’t want to be dependent on someone, but i want someone who makes life a little more enjoyable when i’m by their side. i want someone who i know will be beside me in struggle. i need someone i can count on, and i know i can count on myself so i hold people to the standards i hold myself to. i constantly find myself being let down and i just want things to be different for once. my heart is so full of love for all of the wrong people and i need someone to show me the silver lining to all of this.

[cdej]

I am patiently improving myself one step at a time.

Patiently

When you’re suffering the most challenging thing to be is patient. You want the pain, the anxiety, the depression to end and you want it to end right now.

Who wants a light at then end of the tunnel that’s years down the road?

It may take years but don’t forget that every small, consistent step along the way makes things just a little bit better. And, trust this—when you wake up years later, after taking all those small steps—that patience will be worth it.

[cdej]

“Today I forgive myself. Not just once. Again, and again, and again. As many times as it takes to find peace.”

— Unknown

[cdej]

Pagod na ko sa buhay ko.

[cdej]

Pagod na pagod na ako. Gusto ko na magrest for real.

[cdej]

After all, i'm always a failure.

[cdej]

Kung mawawala man ako soon. Gusto ko lang sabihin na mahal na mahal ko kayong lahat. Napapagod na kasi ako. I wish naging maging mabuting tao ako sa inyo. See you soonest. I just can feel it malapit na hehehe....

[cdej]

From now on, i would not expect anything. 🙂

[cdej]

NAPAKAAA BULLSHIT MO JEC!!!

[cdej]

Why does my future depend on me I don't like this

[cdej]

🌻

being strong does not mean...

...that you will never get tired.

even strong people face moments of emotional, mental and physical turmoil where they feel unable to cope. that's okay. strength doesn't mean being indifferent. things can affect you too and that's totally normal.

the real sign of your strength is your ability to bounce back. to work up your courage, gather all your strength and stand again. it could take some time sure, but it WILL happen. you can do it ✨

[cdej]

[cdej]

It's haunting me again. It's so suffocating. Wag naman ulit sa gantong panahon.

[cdej]

[cdej]

I don't know how many times I survived myself without telling anyone.

-V. J.

[cdej]

I don't know how many times I survived myself without telling anyone.

-V. J.