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I just wanted to be a whimsical little bird but realisation hit me like a bag full of rocks. I'm a gay fucking lizard who is up to no good

Never beating the scalie allegations (doesn't help that I'm built like Krokorok either)

BTW my friend is 100% an Espurr, so our friendship is really goofy since we're opposites, yet similar in many ways

#still have no clue what to do with this blog but for now im just gonna post my silly little doodles here #toony art #pokemon

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You know, with it being a new year and all, I think it's time for me to revamp this blog.

I've been avoiding tumblr in general because of (imaginary and irrational) self-imposed expectations on what kind of things I need to do and getting stressed out in the meanwhile.

Changing up this blog would make coming back here less daunting, I think.

So, I'll probably focus more on OC content here, since I was never big on romance in the first place :]

Don't worry, it's still fully indulgent, but it'll be mostly my OC's instead of charas from pre-existing media. I've been wanting to express my furry-side more in more places than just occasional irl meetups, yanno?

#tone wont really change much tbh #toony talks

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Love being a system

Love having Peppino Spaghetti in my head periodically staring at me disapprovingly without uttering a single word over the course of several days like this:

#Its such a random choice in fictive too as well but whatever #italian man is gonna italian man #/lh he's just looking out for me; he's chill #system stuff #he's not new by any means; he's just been more recently active

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I LOVE HIM. SO MUCH. 🫶

#DUUUUDE THE RENDERING ON THIS!!! #I cant believe the things i missed while i was gone 😭 #this is so adorable... you absolutely NAILED the artstyle! #reblog #others selfships

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batting eyes seductively at eachother and we move in like we are about to kiss and instead enter a looney toons fistfight dust cloud

#reblog

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bowser cant type words very much bc his claws get in the way so he has to be rly careful so he usually just sends one or two emojis

#reblog

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On the subject of my OCD, I only remembered I was professionally diagnosed with it years ago when I was looking through my medical journal recently. Since I know that's what is keeping me from doing things at times, I hope to be more active again now that I know the cause of my aversion. Because I do want to learn to indulge again. I want to create and I want to talk to people.

I've always been a loner, in a way. Even when I'm social and I'm getting close enough to people to call them friends, eventually, I always pull away. I don't want that anymore.

Idk. I'm a mess. OCD is dumb. I'm more scared of a concept than I'd ever be an actual person or a group of people. But it's so effective nonetheless. That's the point of it being a disorder. Still sucks.

#this is my blog so i can do whatever i want with it; i know. #ive already remade it to be sort of multipurpose. #hopefully i can actually commit to it though #talking #ive been very pokemon brained the past few months btw hence the mudkip mood doodle

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I'm ngl, I've been largely avoiding the selfshipping scene a lot because of the constant discourse and the whole morality thing.

I dislike proshipping as much as the next guy, but seeing every single post tagged or referencing proshippers exhausts me. I'm generally more sensitive to the whole black and white thinking due to my OCD, so it's triggering. I've already blocked and filtered every single tag related to the subject, but I can't escape people referring to it in their banners or whatever on posts that are supposed to be comforting and uplifting.

Like, c'mon. I know that it's a problem, but you can just block them if a proshipper shows up. Having it on every single post is just tedious.

Sure, if it makes you feel safer, then hell, go for it, but it doesn't change the fact that it makes it a whole lot harder for people like me, who have problems with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, from properly participating.

I wish people could atleast tag their stuff with like "proship mention" so I could filter it out, but no. That's only reserved for when they actually talk about the subject, not for their DNI banners. I guess bc its redundant? Idk.

It sucks, but I might have to block those users too if I want a peace of mind anytime soon while navigating selfship tumblr.

#talking #tw vent #proship mention

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Heya.

So, I've been gone for a while. And when I do show up, it's very sporadic and I keep leaving.

My mental health has been in the gutter for quite some time now. Doesn't help that I haven't been able to get a hold of a psych to talk to in over half a year now.

I have OCD. And with that comes a whole lot of paranoia and a general distrust surrounding social media. So I self isolate a lot. Both irl and from people online.

During these bouts when my mental health gets the better of me, a lot tends to suffer. I haven't been able to have any good outlets or coping mechanisms since I keep distancing myself from everything that I once used to do regularly. So, no engaging with shows or art or writing or anything. I just spend all day being depressed, basically.

So. I'm not doing too hot. I wish I could do more, but all I can really do is... wait for 2024, when I'll finally get help. Even though I've been asking for it for months.

Hopefully next year I'll be more stable.

#reblog #a heads up about why im missing and stuff #toony goes outside #spoiled milk #talking #tw vent

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Birthday Promo

🥳 Hello! My name is Rebecca & I just turned 33 today!

🎂 Hawks & Mirko from My Hero Academia are my only romantic f/os (uncomfortable sharing them). Umbreon is my pet f/o.

🎉 My DNI/BYF is on my pinned post. Please read it before you interact me.

🎁 I interact/follow from shylesbiannerd

Birthday Divider made by firefly-graphics

#HELL YEAH HAPPY BIRTHDAY REBECCA!!!!! #matching digits!!!! yippie!! #hope you have a great day with ur baes!! #reblog #others selfships

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do you guys ever sometimes try writing a character for the first time and wince every three words because it feels you’re getting them horribly wrong and the whole fandom is going to come after you with torches and pitchforks

#cackles because mine are either too obscure or have so many different takes that i could do anything i want #reblog

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So the zig & sharko insta is a thing

#I KNEW THAT BITCH WAS BISEXUAL JUST LOOK AT HIM #my god hes such a malewife #tempted to remake this.... #talking #island posting 🏝

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sometimes gaining a new F/O has you feeling like a white boy on facebook who's really proud of the fish they just caught

pro.ship dni

#i just be putting them into crush hell but i am rotating them in my mind #i got my 4 babygirls and some boytoys #reblog

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#me everyday #reblog

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picture this: a late 2000s/early 2010s windows movie maker amv featuring you and your f/o

#ngl i think id just do a regular canon ship amv first #reblog #imagines tag

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The thing I find very funny is that some of my f/os have went through the most terrible shit and its up to me to either cure it or make it worse with an s/i

#teehee #reblog

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imagine your f/o doing the family guy death pose

#HELL YEAH. drawing this #reblog #selfship imagines