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I'm trying to get a copy of that picture.

There is a lady I work with whose birthday is today. We have no sort of speaking arrangement at all between us. Like, we never talk and any time we have had to, it is always super stilted and awkward.

Anyway, I went downstairs to get lunch and on the way back into the building, there was a lady outside with flowers asking how to get in since the administration building is badge access only. I asked if she knew where she was supposed to go and she said no that she was just a doordash driver. I asked her if she knew who the flowers were going to and she said it was a lady named (my coworker). I told her, "Oh I know her. We work together and today is her birthday. If you'd like, I can bring them to her." She thanked me and handed the flowers over and then she was like, "I'm real sorry to do this but I have to take a picture of you as proof that they were delivered."

Whoever ordered flowers for my coworker now has a picture of me smiling while holding them and the sushi I bought for lunch. They must be so confused.

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Olive asked if she could hang LED lights in her bathroom. I told her sure so we hung them and the second I was done, she set them to party mode and said “AW YEAH DISCO DUMPS”

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I work in the office a few days a week and when I do, I carry a backpack with all of my stuff in it. I felt like it was getting too bulky so I slimmed down to just a laptop bag to try it out. In doing so, I left my badge in my backpack at home and didn't realize it until I was standing outside my building's door.

I work in the university administration building with the executive vice presidents and the president so the building is extremely locked down so this presented an issue.

I was waiting around downstairs for someone to open the door and eventually, this older lady came walking up. She looked at me and said, "I'm going to open the door and let you in because I need to get in. You aren't a murderer, right?"

I told her I left my badge at home but that I work on the fifth floor and held up my laptop bag to show her. She let me in so I called the elevator for us, got in, pushed 5 (so she could see I wasn't lying about where I work), and then held the door open for her.

She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks. I'll take the next one." 

I did not do a good enough job convincing her I was not a murderer.

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And now we wait

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I was supposed to go into the office today but I told my boss I was going to work from home because I had a ton to do but really I was working on this. Anyway, this is my Guy Fieri build in Fallout 4 and today we’re rolling out looking for the wasteland’s greatest Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives.

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So I am setting up an ITVX account so I can watch british streaming stuff through ITV and I clicked on an old Sherlock movie to make sure it was working. I was not expecting the sign language interpreter. I like that when she isn’t signing, she’s watching along with us.

#is there sign language accents?

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I have two multiple thousand word papers due by midnight that I haven't even started and I just took nighttime medicine.

It's a race!

#I am completely checked out at this point.

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I am applying for graduation and starting to consider my Masters in Data Science, albeit closer to home at University of Texas instead of Wisconsin, so with me being close to finishing I am starting to get interest from recruiters.

Someone reached out today to discuss openings they had for some database development and engineering positions. The pay is great, the software is one I am very familiar with but it would involve moving out of state which I am not looking to do just now, except for one dream destination I am always working towards. So I politely declined and let my head get big because they came to me and it proves that I know what I am doing and I’m capable enough to work in my field.

Cut to three hours later and I am now laying on the floor because my wifi is out and I can’t fix it.

Swings and roundabouts.

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To give some context, I am not a tall man. For the longest time, I thought I was 5’9” but I stood next to a coworker who said she was 5’9” and I was about an inch shorter.

For even more context, I refuse to pay $84 a month to park in a parking garage at the hospital for 8-12 days a month. It just feels like a “shopping at the company store” scenario so instead I park for free about a half mile away and walk in.

Today after work, I was walking to my car when I heard footsteps behind me. I peeked back and it was a college student and she was at the very least 6’5”. She was super tall, pure muscle, and gaining on me.

I swapped to the other side of the street (I needed to anyway and this gave her a clear path without mowing me down) and she actually crossed with me. As we made it to the crosswalk, we both had to stop and wait for the light to change. I stood on the ramp part of the sidewalk the leads into the street while, for some reason, she stood on the curb proper next to me.

I turned to look at her and I straight up had to look like a foot higher to see her. She looked down at me and we both started to laugh.

We never said anything about it because we didn’t need to. Just two dudes standing on the corner looking like Timon and Pumba.

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We watched The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe earlier this week and I told my wife and Olive it made me want to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy again. They’ve watched them before but mostly passively so they asked if we could watch the extended cuts back to back to back today.

I ordered pizza, bought theater candy, and we made it through Fellowship and Two Towers before I was the one to tap out. I love these movies to death but we can save Return of the King for tomorrow.

It’s been a perfect day.

Olive watched the second half of Two Towers like this:

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More thoughts about Coach Bombay

Earlier in the film, a kid calls a trio of ducks by a derogatory racial term and they get angry about it.

Right before the Flying V is performed, Coach Bombay uses that same term to call them over to discuss it. This man is a menace.

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To be fair, i’d probably agree to the teacher thing.

At night, we’ve been picking a random movie to watch from a list and tonight we got The Mighty Ducks. Watching this movie as an adult is waaaay different.

This lawyer quits his career over a youth hockey team he just started coaching a month ago. His boss even asks him, “are you sure you want to give up your career to coach these kids?” He responds by quacking at him.

Later on, he goes on a walking date with one of the kid’s moms and insinuates that he wants to move in with them. Again, he met these people a month ago. That’s like one of Olive’s teachers asking if they can move into our spare room.

All I am saying is that Coach Bombay is unhinged and should probably be supervised.

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For Valentines this year, we decided to show Olive that not all Bosses suck.

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Guess what color shirt I was wearing?

Since I now have a big people job, I had to have professional pictures taken today for professional correspondence, department websites, general blackmail, and whatever else they use them for. Since we are also a teaching hospital, today was also the day that incoming students needed to have their pictures done as well, which is how I found myself in line behind four girls in their early twenties discussing their outfits.

One of them had forgotten that today was picture day and she was lamenting her outfit choice of pastel pink coveralls. “They were amazing for the art walk this past weekend but i’m going to look like a mechanic in my picture. Ugh. I guess it is better than wearing a light blue shirt against a blue background.” At that time, one of the girls noticed what I was wearing (which let’s face facts: I was also not happy about wearing a light blue shirt today) and elbowed The Mechanic in the ribs which made her say out loud, in my general direction, “not that there is anything wrong with blue shirts…”

My pictures ended up being a disaster. I blank face stared down the barrel of the camera in one, was talking in the middle of others, and forgot how a normal Earth human is supposed to smile in the rest. I’m not sure you can get fired for not being photogenic but I’m going to find out.

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Went into Olive’s bathroom earlier to wash my hands and this was on the counter. My 11 year old already has a list of life tips for her to work on.

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I tried to bake and decorate a homemade cookie for Santa but instead I made a scone that doesn’t understand how magnets work.

A baker, I am not.

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For the music I actually listened to, I don’t feel like this is right.

I listened to way more Engelbert Humperdinck or Hot Mulligan than John Mayer and while Welcome To Wonderland is a great song, Somewhere in Ann Arbor should have 100% been the most played Anson Seabra song. I had that shit on repeat.

I will not be discussing why I listened to Goodnight Moon so much. It’s just still a banger.

#spotify #anson seabra #the gaslight anthem #spotify wrapped #penelope scott