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The Haunting No Reply

Ghosting, everyone has experienced it and everyone has done it. But what is wrong with telling someone you aren’t interested? We seem to be in an age where we have to go off signals and behaviours of our own interpretations which only lead us down the rabbit hole of uncertainty falling into the all too familiar questions, why hasn’t he replied? Is he talking to other girls? Is he even interested? Should I have done this instead? Did I do something wrong? The last question being the biggest question that constantly plays on the mind which no doubt leads to - well what is wrong with me? Absolutely nothing! It’s on them and this was honestly one of the hardest things for me to get a hold of and since we are telling the truth, it is still hard to grasp at times.

As much as some of us don’t like to admit it, we are creatures of habit. Most of the time you can tell by a person’s behaviour how interested they are... for example, are they asking questions back or are they trying to end the conversation, what is the response rate like, are they now taking 5 seconds as opposed to 0.02 seconds to reply, where was my good morning message, who is suggesting the meet ups and what is the meet up, etc. We get attached to the routine of our communication with another. This is even with friends and family - for example, even though I live out of home, I will still message my parents when I go out of town to let them know I got to the destination safely. With potential partners you fall into this habit of knowing around what time they will message you throughout the day or know they aren’t available to chat at certain times due to sporting or other commitments. We can’t help it. So it’s when their behaviour changes the questions begin and your own behaviour changes... You are no longer the cool chilled chick you were a few days ago and you start to rattle your brain;

- Idiot! Why did you put hahaha when haha would have been plenty?

- Who is he with?

- What if I send one more message to see if he replies?

- Is my phone broken?

- Is their phone broken?

- I’ll send a Snapchat aimed for them but also generalised so they don’t think it was sent just to them

Now I’m going to use my favourite analogy, I came up with this one after a guy ghosted me then after a few months told me why. Go back to when we were talking, would I have been upset, yes, however, I would have dusted off gotten back up and moved on a lot quicker because by ghosting it meant it still had a hold in my mind as it always felt unfinished even though we knew it was done - closure, it’s what everyone needs but most of the time doesn’t get. By waiting that time it left me in my own head, which most will agree, is not the most ideal place to be. You only have yourself to battle with and more often than not you lose.

So anyway - my analogy, guys seem to treat us like porcelain dolls, wrapped tightly in bubble wrap, they unwrap us by being the guy we want them to be, take us on nice dates, one layer gone, message replies are instant and engaging, another layer gone, suggests future plans and wants to start including you in social events with friends, that’s me pretty much unwrapped exposing my delicate self for them to take care of. Then, then comes the ghosting. Guys see this delicate porcelain doll and they don’t want to break it so they place it on the shelf never to acknowledge it. It shouldn’t be the guys concern for breaking us, yes you leave some cracks but lucky we know how to put ourselves back together. It should be about how you handle it, place the doll on the shelf and it’ll eventually get knocked off, taking longer to be put back together, but wrap it back up in a layer of bubble wrap and it’s good to go to another home. Know what I’m saying!?

So how do we date? Lay it all on the table and see what they eat up? Or deliver ourselves in small courses to slowly get through the meal of getting to know someone?

I’m going to share a recent dating experience, this one was hook line and sinker direct, lay it all on the table.... Let’s call him B. B seemed super confident through texts, we had a pretty good first date discovering we had a lot in common and the potential for it to go further was on the table. I was right out of my comfort zone with this one only because he became very intense within a few hours.... yep I’m sticking to hours. We went from hey lets hang out again to hey I’ve told every man and his dog about you and me and they can’t wait to meet you, are you free 2025 for a family holiday oh and also what should we call our kids? Woah woah woah, lets back up about 50 steps and go on a second date. (I wish I was kidding but we hadn’t even had a second date).

So B was super intense, I didn’t really know how to handle it, do I ghost because his pursing was too much for me, do I be up front and say the all-time classic – it’s not you it’s me or do I play it out and see what happens. Maybe it’s just the hype of meeting or the excitement that we’ve clicked on a few levels, maybe, just maybe he will settle down with it after another date. Nope, second date came around and it was full steam ahead, are we a thing? Can we continue this? Do you want to meet my friends? When can I meet your friends? I’ll step to the side and I say I did get a little caught up with the prospect of it all knowing full well in the back of my head it wasn’t going to work long term and also in the background was my best friend holding up all the red flags and me being semi blinded to see them. Here’s where the story takes a turn, I can see where I went wrong on our second date but it is only while beginning to write this blog that I realised the domino affect it had on him.... by a silly (I thought funny, turns out not so much) comment I made and my change in behaviour over the days between dates he had begun to doubt himself and us together. He came across so confident at the start which was an attractive quality but suddenly, from my own observation - unable to confirm with him, I brought out some of his insecurities and I didn’t exactly comfort or acknowledge them which made me see a different side of him. He also went from showing full emotion to just blocking me out after trying to consult with him. In the end, when he had come to the conclusion I wasn’t the girl for him, he decided to ghost me. So we went from one extreme to another of messaging constantly and him providing ridiculous amounts of attention to nothing. This brings me to what I have found to be the different levels of ghosting;

1. The fade away - slowly stops replying, doesn’t use the same language in messages.

2. The “sorry been busy” - welcome to 2018 where we are constantly on our phones. If you can’t find a few moments to reply then you are not interested, kinda simple right?

3. The snapper - if you have each other on Snapchat the snaps will go from sending you more personal and funny things that remind you of the other to - look at my lunch, look at this dog, look at this pencil etc.

4. The Hello, are you still into me - will send messages every so often (mainly when drinking) to remind you that they are still there but also keep you at a distance as a back-up plan.

5. The mutual Ghost - where you are both on the same page of not being into each other but neither wants to end it so you both slowly go your separate ways.

AND of course! For the big finish

6. The cutter - everything is fine, he has been acting a little odd but nothing alarming, then wham bam thank you mam no reply and never hear from again (until you run into them at downstairs moose after one too many tequilas and start the cycle again).

So why ghost? Is it to save the persons feelings or is it more to avoid the awkward conversation around “what are we” because I can assure you both suck just as much. Of course no one likes rejection, I have never met someone who has said, hi I’m Stacey, my likes include being rejected and my dislikes are pineapple on pizza, I mean a girl likes her beauty therapist but isn’t thrilled by getting waxed. Where does this option of ghosting come into play? I personally would much prefer the “hey I’m just not that into you” message then you switch on me faster than Will Smith - turn around now - switch - never to speak again. For the guys and girls that think they are preserving the others feelings I’m sorry to say you aren’t.

Got a fair way through writing this blog before I thought I should get the perspective of my mates that have gone through ghosting and I got more than I wanted; she wrote about how she did the haunting without the realisation of how it affected the other, here’s a snippet of what she wrote;

“Guys have feelings too!

One of my guy friends said to me and at the time I always wondered why. Now years later I have reflected on his words and understand his situation. He was wanting me to want him and I was not the girl to do it.

I was not his person, but he was weighing it up in his head.”

Which brings me trying to speak on behalf of the male gender... wish me luck. Ok so I know girls can be just as bad when it comes to ghosting and games. Hearing stories of girls just using guys for attention or keeping them in their pocket until their Prince Charming comes along and I 110% don’t agree with this. It’s selfish, unkind and straight up a dick move. But its girls like that, that will often complain the most about mistreatment from guys. Which if you learn anything from this blog let it be this - treat a potential partner the way you want to be treated. You want to play mind games, expect them back, you want to stir and create jealously, don’t be shocked when it happens to you. To summarise - Don’t expect to be treated like a Princess when you treat them like a frog.

We can keep coming back to we don’t know another’s situations so many times before someone asks the question, well how do we know if we don’t try? Good question with no helpful answer. You can only try; you can line up 15 dates in a week and have 3 of them cancelled, 5 of them ghost you, 2 of them not your type, 3 of them just looking for a hook up and the other 2 being put into the potential bucket. You can let all this get to you or you can face it, claim it and get back on that horse.

I dated this one guy, you could put us in a blank white room and we would be entertained for hours by each other’s company, we could talk about the paint drying on the wall and it would be interesting. We had a lot in common and there was no pressure to be anyone but yourself, it was an incredible feeling. And then he ghosted me..... I’ve been ghosted plenty of times but I don’t think I will ever quite understand what happened with this one. Usually you can at least pick up little things, but the battle in my head says it was timing and his head space with the added reminder that it isn’t all on me. Ghosting doesn’t always hurt, but this one did. But hey, here I am dusted off writing about it and soldiering on. Because there is only so many times I can ask a brick wall why before the realisation of me not getting any answer becomes clear as day.

Andddd what’s the point of this all? Well a few things, ghosting is not the most ideal way to end things, but it is a common one, just be mindful of the situation and the other person before you leave them on read. Better to rip off the band aid!

As always here are some handy tips to finish this blog;

1. Every fairytale has an ever after and sometimes that ever after isn’t with that person, you’ll find your prince/princess soon

2. Don’t take it personally if you get ghosted, you have probably done it too

3. The reason behind why you get ghosted is not a reflection on you as a person

4. Honesty remains the best policy

5. Go out, have fun and you stay classy San Diego

#Ghosted #Tindergame

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Reality Tinderella

Tinder….

I took a break from Tinder because swiping right with no Mr Right was getting a bit frustrating with the all too familiar; -          Hey how are you? -          Good how are you? -          Good. Good then. #unmatch

This was becoming the bane of my existence and after a few unsuccessful dates, couple of never follow through with the meeting, I decided uninstalling Tinder was the best option. Then comes the grand adventure of meeting people in the real world (What!? Say it ain't so) Isn't it funny that no one wanted to admit they met on Tinder, yet now, it’s the complete opposite with, we met at a bar, a thing of the past.

But look, I’m not here to slam Tinder, I actually really like it/dislike it. I really like it because it gives the chance to meet people you might not usually meet due to different circumstances that could stop a potential relationship from not existing. My sister met her soon to be husband on Tinder and I have a feeling that they wouldn't have met otherwise, so I'm very glad they swiped right, and I know plenty more relationships starting then unmatches.

The reason I dislike Tinder is because there is a lot of unintentional pressure that we don’t realise, I mean we look back at our parents dating, I’ll use mine as an example, mainly because they are legends and they have an interesting twist to their love story – so they were dating for a while, decided to break up and my mum packed her bags and went overseas #independentwoman. Mum comes back and randomly, in the Sydney streets, my mum and dad bumped into each other and their romance started all over again. Now, my dad still remembers what she was wearing and how he felt, lets fast forward to today, if that same situation had happened, my parents would have stalked each other on every social media site and have gotten shitty at what they were seeing, making assumptions of one another, that when they do eventually bump into each other again they might not have even spoken based on what they saw – then I wouldn’t have been born, the horror! And not to mention they may both have gone on Tinder and met someone else.

Think about it, back when our parents were dating, they put in full effort not knowing when they would meet another as awesome as the one in front of them, now a days we are competing with the internet, because I can assure you that if I haven’t responded to your message within the minute, you have already hit up another 5 girls on Tinder. I think it has also kind of enforced that maybe the grass is greener on the other side, and more people are willing to explore that than focus on what a good person they have in front of them. So we could be perfect for each other, but you question it because what if, just maybe the next girl you swipe right to is better? And how do you make your profile desirable to swipe right, is it a funny quote? What pictures do you have? Ones that show you are adventurous and active when in reality that was a once off occurrence that you happened to capture on camera and doesn’t really reflect who you are or what you actually like? What about having your height, you know so the girls don’t wear heels on the date, oh, I know, what about just emoji’s? *eggplant winky face and chuck in a snowboarder* you have maybe 5 seconds before you get the left or right, so judging a book by its cover has never been so real.

But for me, I think previously I was trying to be what Tinder wanted, which, if you haven't already guessed was not very successful. I'll admit I have a big personality, perfect for Tinder right? Negative. Trying to get your personality through an app without the person initially meeting you is rather difficult, not to mention, I felt I couldn’t initially be myself for fear it would scare them off. And there seems to be so many unspoken rules that you learn along the way from others or just from being on it, rules like; 

- The guy messages first (boringgggggg) - You should give your number within X amount of days chatting otherwise they aren't interested - Wait a couple of hours after matching before messaging them - Don’t ever double message (I fail at this bigtime) - And the all-time classic – if it took them 20minutes to reply, you wait 30minutes

Then comes me deciding to install it again, you know, maybe it’s changed, maybe I have changed, maybe, just maybe, the guys have changed. And this time I thought I would treat it differently. For those who don’t know me, I love puns, I love terrible jokes and I love seeing the reaction of people when I come up with a cracker of a joke/pun, so the game plan this time was letting the matches see this side of me straight away. Well, I got unmatched a few times, but that’s ok, because I just don’t need that negativity in my life. And anyway it’s a good way to filter through those who you matched with but aren’t your match. By putting my personality first and putting aside the typical robotic response, I was getting positive results. My profile didn’t have my height, cheeky emojis to describe my life or a funny quote and I didn’t have any #selfies, what it did have was a conversation starter;

You

Me

Jungle mini Golf

Loser buys first round

This had all different types of messages coming through and not one was the boring one liner, or the classic hey *smiley face*, there was playful banter pretty much straight away which really gave a better impression of the person I was talking to. Even matched with a guy that lives in Brisbane who looked up flights for me to go to play mini golf (don’t worry mum I didn’t accept flights from a stranger). Anyway, here are a few examples of the messages I got;

I’ll have a Carlton Dry thanks So how many times have you played jungle mini golf this week? Is this a hustle and are you some golfing champ? When’s tee off?

I honestly don’t believe that you can truly get to know someone through text, I feel people are different on the screen then they are in person, my text don’t read the same unless you have met me, so how do we change this? Meeting up of course. But who initiates it, how long should you wait, is it deemed too keen and clingy if the girl suggests it first within the first few messages, or is that message read differently *winky face winky face*. And what is the perfect first meet and greet? Netflix and chill implies something other than meeting, a meal can be too long, coffee or a drink is pretty much the standard but where is the fun? Most of the time we have chatted and gotten to know each other to the point that I would rather go out and do something than sit awkwardly behind my latte constantly running through my head what to do/say/act. So what my profile also gave was that first date set and lined. Some people will think I’m crazy for suggesting an activity first off but an activity is different from a meal or coffee, a meal you are stuck until you both finish eating and if there is an awkward silence then well you are done, put the date in the oven and roast at 180degrees because it is toasted and roasted! But an activity, it brings that playful banter, plus a competitive side can be an unattractive quality in a person so might as well get that out of the way on the first date. Bonus - you can have a fun bet going along with it, it can set you up to do something after or even as a second date, and come on who doesn’t love winning mini golf and getting a free beer to celebrate!?

So how has this all turned out? I bet you want a happy ending. Well, I went on one of the best dates. I have heard my friends describe them, no nerves, you get along straight away, no awkward silence, the match was a real match and it was after that I realised that by completely being myself on Tinder meant I attracted someone like me.

Now I’m by no means an expert on Tinder, to be honest I’d say I’m quite hopeless at times, but nevertheless here are some tips I found useful on the swiping journey:

1. Take your height out – it’s not an important fact 2. Yes I like dogs, but I’m on here to get to know you not your dog – your dog is a bonus 3. Don’t write you have excellent banter, because I can assure you, you don’t 4. Have a conversation starter in your bio – they can ask the rest 5. Don’t have so many group photos 6. Ladies! Send that first message – get creative, he will remember you for being funny and different from the generic messages 7. Don’t be afraid that you will scare someone off by a friendly/silly/lame joke, if they can’t handle you at your worst joke, they sure as hell don’t deserve your best jokes 8. Go on that date sooner rather than later – make it a fun one! 9. Be yourself – that is the best thing about your profile, yes I know it’s hard getting your personality across the app, but again, by being yourself, you will attract someone like you 10. Don’t be a dick – I don’t need to explain this further

Happy Swiping!

#swiperight #tinder #tinderellalookingforafella

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My Year in Review

I have had an incredible year. I can't believe where I am, how much I have seen, the awesome things I have done and the most amazing people I have met. Looking back at the start of this year I was walking a different path, it wasn't until the 28th of March that everything changed. I quit my job, got a visa and booked a one way flight to London all within 3 months! Now 6 months on I'm writing this blog on Christmas Eve in Kraków after spending the most amazing week in Zakopane, Poland, with a bunch of legends, then on my way to Madrid to bring in the New Year with one of my good mates from back home, I mean wow or WOW! I have had so many highs this year that I can't even remember the lows (or maybe I didn't have any) the hardest part has been being so far away from family and close friends, but that's the best part about home, it will always be there with wide open arms and familiar smiles! I FaceTimed my family back home today, it was my brothers birthday and I wanted to say hello. It's also the first time I was sad calling them, yes I miss them everyday, but this time it was different, it had finally hit me that I was missing Christmas with my family and boy does it suck! I love Christmas, it's one of my favourite holidays, it's a rare time that the whole family comes together to celebrate each other and review what a year they have had. A New Year! A chance to change what you can or know what you would do differently. I don't know where I'll be in a years time, hopefully still collecting stamps in my passport, but one things for sure 2015 has been one of my favourite years! There will be no New Me in 2016, I think after 24 years on this Earth I can only improve and I'm pretty happy with who I am and where I'm at in this grand journey called life! Cheers to 2016!! And here's to another amazing year!

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Homesickness?

So I’m coming up to the 6month mark of me being away from home. Has it been hard, hell yes! Has it been so far the best experience of my life? Can I get an hallelujah praise the all mighty it has been simply fantastic! No words can describe.

Now I’m not one to become uncomfortable when out of my comfort zone, in fact I love it most of the time, and I have travelled before without that heartache of missing home. Dad’s cooking, Mum’s jokes, my brother annoying the cat, road trips with my sister and I miss walking Chelsea (my dog) around the lake. Don’t get me wrong, my life was scattered back home, between studies, work, fitness and social if I had time to sit down it was while driving from one place to another, so Am I home sick or simply missing what I had at home?

Ponder that.

Of course I miss everyone and everything back home, but when I do feel slightly down about being so far away, I read back messages, letters and cards I got before leaving, they are always the perfect reminder that home will always be home and home will always be there whenever I’m ready to return

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My life in Knutsford

So I have talked a lot about the different European experiences I have had, but what about all that I’m doing in between? Well, I’m a nanny for 3 boys, aged 10, 7 and 5. I live with a wonderful family in a town called Knutsford, near Manchester. It’s a lot different from life back home, for one thing I don’t have 3 kids, only a very attention seeking beautiful dog and a cat who would only notice I’m gone because no one is annoying her daily.

It’s different work to what I excepted I was going to do, my original plan was to work at a pub, however, I think I lucked out by getting the nanny job as pubs pay £6.50 an hour and tipping isn’t a big deal over here. So I would have to work endless hours to pay rent and food and with the little left over I would have it would be saved for travel. Quick side note, anyone wanting to come and work over in the UK, have a decent amount saved to back you up, it isn’t cheap living here and it can be a shock. Any who, my day usually goes like this, wake up to help the kids get ready for school and make breakfast, kids go to school, I tidy the house, do the washing, grocery shopping and cook dinner. I then pick up the kids from school, bring them home, feed them and get them ready for bed. Pretty good right? Only I had the greatest parents ever that did my laundry and cooking so this was a house wife shock to me haha!

Through working as a nanny I have discovered my love for cooking, I love to try new things and I’m not afraid to poach an egg anymore, in short, my cooking skills were lacking. I have also learnt much patience with kids and as my parents say, it’s building character. I have learnt so much and believe I have gained a lot of independence and for the most part grown up a little bit (don’t worry guys, you haven’t completely lost the child in me)

Knutsford is a pretty small town, with only the basics. But it is such a beautiful town to live in. Everything is in walking distance and the people are lovely. On the plus side, if I wanted a city getaway, London isn’t far and if I booked in advance I could usually get a train ticket for £9. Pretty good! So I would go to London some weekends, see my wonderful friends, get my city fix then go back to the wonderful Knutsford to enjoy the country life. Knutsford reminded me a lot of my home town in Australia which is probably why I liked it.

All in all I’m so thankful to be working for the family, kids can be a handful sometimes, however, it’s the good times that stick in my mind. Like today, the youngest and I have an inside joke of always saying ‘magic’ to each other in a funny voice, can’t remember how it started but it always makes us laugh. Today when the family dropped me at the train station, he came up to me and said “Ollie, Ollie bend down I have a secret for you” I bent down and he gave me a kiss on the cheek and said “there’s some magic in that kiss for you” wellllll then, if anyone needs me I’ll be the crying girl on the train. Hahaha! It was honestly one of the cutest things and is one of the reasons I love doing this job.

This is the travelling girl with the travelling diary signing off with kids say the darnest (and cutest) things

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Just by the nose

This entry is a hard one to write, but I figured if I wrote it down it would somehow make me feel better. So earlier this year I volunteered for a travel company called Topdeck, I love this company, it is so fantastic. Great trips, unreal experiences and the best staff, I had the privilege of meeting some drivers, trip leaders and chefs. Before I even started volunteering with them I knew I wanted to work for them, it has been a dream of mine for some time now and I was getting closer and closer to it becoming a reality and after volunteering in Pamplona it just enforced how much I would love the job as a trip leader. I mean think about it, you take a group of people all around Europe and you get to give them the best experience and for some you get to share their once in a life time opportunity to come overseas. A lot of people will say yer it's a cool job and all but I hear it doesn't pay much, well those people aren't right for the job. Because this type of job should never be about the money, it should be about the passion for not even the job but for travelling. You wake up in a new city every week and you get to see more of the world, even if you visit the same place over and over again I can assure you that you will discover something new each time. Anyway, in August, I applied for the Trip Leader position, I was in Greece at the time when I received the email that I had gotten through the first round and as my friend will tell you I was over the moon that I had gotten through, even though there were still a few stages to go, I just couldn't believe I was getting closer. The second round application I really tried to put my love and passion for travel on paper, not easy and selling yourself in an application is so damn hard! But after many hours spent writing, then proof reading, asking advice from friends travelling with me, sending it to my parents, I submitted it and I waited.... Checking emails every day in the hope I got the invitation to attend an interview.... Waiting, then that all magical email came through *insert crazy excited omg I can't believe it happy dance here* like a kid on Christmas Day who just got a puppy I was smiling ear to ear! In brief, the interview is in 3 parts, first session is talking about the company and what the role is and how the training trip works etc. next each applicant (there were 6 of us) had to give a 5 minute presentation on a topic they had received prior to the interview, my presentation was on Oktoberfest and after spending 4 weeks at Oktoberfest I was feeling pretty confident. The final part of the day was a one on one interview. Usually I'm pretty terrible in interviews, not sure why but my confidence and personality doesn't shine through like I want it to. This interview though, I just felt so at ease and I knew how to answer each and every question with confidence, hell yes I was still nervous, I mean this is my love, my passion, my dream job, if Santa Claus himself came up to me in that moment and ask if I wanted my own jet plane to take around the world or this job, it wouldn't even be a question, I would take the job again and again. I left that day thinking my life was about to change, watch out 2016 Ollie is on the road for Topdeck, up on the mic in front of 50 passengers giving a spill about Paris, Rome, oh you want to know how that rock came to be, never fear your Trip Leader is here! But as you can probably guess from the title, I unfortunately did not get the job. Why? Well let's just say Visas are silly. My visa expires a little bit too early to be able to complete enough time with Topdeck. I sent an email back saying I understand then a day later sent another one asking if there was any possible way I could do it, apply for another visa, anything. But it wasn't possible. My heart broke a little. But like all fairy tales, I'm going to give you guys a happy ending. I have had some reflection and came to the conclusion that it wasn't meant to be. I was meant to see the world without having to worry about 50 people and hoping at each boarder someone hadn't left their passport behind. I was meant for something else, what that something else is I can't tell you as I don't know myself. That's life for you, a dream is a dream to keep on dreaming. I haven't given up on being a Trip Leader or working within the travel industry abroad, I just need to keep on searching. This is the travelling girl with the travelling diary signing off with, when life gives you lemons, you can either suck on it and be sour, or enjoy it in an alcoholic beverage and be merry.

[buildabridgeandlangoverit]

Poor in the Bank, Richer in Life

As many travellers will agree, our lifestyle doesn't come cheap. We live to work to earn to travel. We long for our next adventure, what destination is next, where will our travels take us, who will we meet along the way, how will this experience move us and shape us. All these questions can only be answered by doing. And do we must. So we get on that plane, land and embrace all that is around. While some of us don't have a lot of money in the bank, our lives are so much richer from what we learn in our travels.

[buildabridgeandlangoverit]

La Tomatina 🍅

What a festival! The biggest food fight you will ever be in. Pre warning for those thinking of doing this, don't do it hungover, just shhhh don't. The day starts off early, making our way to the grounds. We enter the square where you see a pole with grease all over it, hmm interesting.... At the top of this greasy pole is a whole ham, yep no need to re read that I said a whole ham. The aim of this is for the brave to climb the pole to get the ham, different strategies, people becoming monkeys, hungry people needing ham for their cheese toastie, it just looked insane. No one got the ham but it was brilliant entertainment before the tomatoes were smashed in your face. So the time comes and the trucks start rolling down the streets full of tomatoes and the hustle and bustle of catching and grabbing tomatoes to throw at anyone in sight begins. There are people pushing and smashing and throwing and cheering! It would all be a bit much for those who do not like crowds as it is hot and the only space you have is enough to throw a tomato at anyone who looked hungry. This goes on for an hour, after that we all make our way back to another square to enjoy sangria, beer and food while drying off. Ever wondered what hundreds of people smell like covered in tomatoes drying off in the sun? Not like sun dried tomatoes.... Quite the opposite whatever that may be. So then we make our way back to the hostel for the second greatest shower I have had in Europe! (first one being after the sangria fight in Pamplona) and relax after our food fight. La Tomatina is a once in a life time festival! And I mean once haha! It was a great time, met some amazing new friends and really enjoyed exploring Valencia! This is the travelling girl with the travelling diary signing off on La Tomatina with Bruschetta anyone?

[buildabridgeandlangoverit]

As kids we are told to follow our dreams and never give up. As adults we are told to follow our passion and never give up. Our dream is not always our passion, but our passion is always our dream. Never give up on your passion, when it is something you have been dreaming of.

- Buildabridgeandlangoverit

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Oktoberfest 2015 Crew 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🍻

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Oktoberfest- You Son of a Beer

I honestly can’t begin to describe the past 4 weeks! But I’m going to try!

Oh if you are just tuning in now, I feel I should mention, this year I volunteered to work with Topdeck to work at their camp sites at festivals, setting up tents and other duties, read back to catch up more :)

So anyway, we arrived and immediately put to work, we set up over a hundred tents, the marquee and a few other jobs we got out of the way. Then we had dinner, I enjoyed the pork knuckle which was absolutely amazing!!! A must have if you visit Germany! Even if you are vegetarian, apologies for vegetarians out there that get offended but the pork knuckle is bloody amazing!

The next few days were spent doing our best getting absolutely everything prepared before the first lot of passengers were due to arrive.

On Thursday, the 18th September, we were treated to a night out as that weekend was the opening weekend so all hell was about to break loose! We went to a brewery on top of a hill with beautiful scenery, the whole crew was dressed to impress in our traditional Dirndls for the ladies and lederhosens for the gents. We enjoyed a few steins and some more scrumptious pork knuckle. Nom Nom Nom!

On the Sunday, I had the best visitor, my sister. She was travelling through Spain and Portugal and decided to pop over to Munich for the day to visit. It was a short but sweet day. We started by going to lunch and catching up on everything and just enjoying being together. Then she came and saw the camp site and I showed all that we do and introduced her to the crew. We enjoyed some beers before deciding it was a good idea to go to Oktoberfest, best idea! We had a vodka red bull and a shot and just explored outside as the beer halls would be too busy to get in and my sister had to fly out that night. It was such a great day the only problem was that it was too short! It felt like forever since I had seen my sister and I didn’t know when I would see her again. None the less I’m thankful she came! Lava You Sis!

Ok so here is where things get fuzzy…. I could go day by day but they all blend into one. Instead let’s just recap

- Pork Knuckles - Sausages - Dancing Sausages - Beer Fridge opens at Noon - Passengers - Drunk Passengers - Early Breakfast Shifts - Cold - Wet Tents - Treasure Hunt aka Tent clean up - Beer Halls - That’s a funnel! - Shuttle Buses - Meet and Greet - Meeting Point - Check in/out - Security (Shhhhh! This is your tent) - Steins - Too many Steins - Beer Bloated - Heading to our local, The Lowenbrau, to sink a few steins - Prost!

My favourite part was working breakfast, even though it was freezing cold getting out of your tent and early, not to mention the many steins consumed the day before (bonus never was badly hungover, thank you German Beer) it was the one shift that nearly the whole crew would work and it was so much fun! We had the tunes pumping, everyone dancing and just happy faces, usually. We numbered everyone that came through, when the first person came through we cheered then when number 11 came through the person at the door would call out “LEGS 11” and we would all cheer again! Can’t forget to cheer when 69 walked through! But my favourite, which only happened a few times, was when number 300 walked through…. We would all call out “THIS IS SPARTA!” And we would all just start banging anything and everything we could, in the middle of breakfast service! It was so fantastic! People eating breakfast would often get confused and honestly get a little weirded out by us, but hey who cares we enjoyed it! Another reason why breakfast was so much fun is because of our special dancing sausages. Have you ever been served a dancing sausage? Well our passengers were lucky enough to have someone serving them a sausage that, if requested could dance. Yep…. Nuff said, breakfast was an awesome shift!

It was the craziest, most fun and an absolute delight to volunteer at Oktoberfest 2015! I highly recommend it! New friends were made and too many good times were had.

At the end of it all, one of the girls asked everyone what our high was and our low, I knew instantly what my low was, but how could we choose one high? I’ll get my low out of the way to end this on a high. My low was that it was all over! (Pretty obvious right) but hear me out, we all signed up to volunteer with Topdeck for two festivals, Pamplona and Oktoberfest, after Oktoberfest that was it, we were done! There was no looking forward to seeing them all again in two months, no more massive long road trips with the coach to ourselves, we were now all going our separate ways and planning a catch up wasn’t going to be as easy as jumping out of our tents and grabbing a beer when we would all be spread out around Europe and the U.K. When I started I knew none of the people that I now call my weird crazy Topdeck Family. We shared so much together and we are all so like minded. I couldn’t imagine a better group to have. So yes, I got teary on the last night, happy tears that I would be sleeping in a bed and not a tent but sad because I didn’t want it to end. Ok enough of the sad stuff, my high of the experience. It’s hard to pin point one moment, however, I do recall one day sitting in the beer halls and I just stopped, the noise pretty much went silent and I just looked around at everyone smiling, taking in where I was, what I was doing. I was at Oktoberfest in Munich, sitting in a beer hall with the best people around me enjoying a beer and this was my schedule for the next 3 weeks, what did I have to complain about? Absolutely nothing. And that’s when the biggest smile crept across my face.

Well Oktoberfest 2015, you done good!

This is the Travelling Diary of the Travelling Girl, signing off with, can I please go back and do it all over again?

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When you travel, nobody knows who you are. They don't know your past or even your present. Travelling makes you become this whole new person you never knew existed. It opens up doors in your mind and channels emotions you have never felt into one. You become youer than you and damn it feels amazing

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Entry Three - Spain

I just spent my first two weeks volunteering for Topdeck in Spain….. Three words, hot, sangria and cultural. It’s funny how we move from one country to the next expecting certain things only to be amazed at how wrong we were, but in a good way.

After a two day bus journey from London we finally arrived in the warm city of Pamplona, Spain. The first few days were spent setting up a 100 tents for the passengers, blowing up air beds, setting up a marque for the temporary kitchen and dining area, drinking loads and loads of water, swimming in the lake and enjoying a nice cold beer at the end of another hot day. On the Friday we headed into town to enjoy local cuisine. Pinchox. They are smaller dishes displayed in a window, you pick which one you want then it gets heated. Enjoy that with a beer for about €5, bargain! We bar/Pinchox our way into the night before heading back to the camp site to get some rest because all 200 passengers were about to arrive on the Sunday for a crazy 5 days of check ins, info tent, shuttles into town, opening ceremony covered in sangria, sangria BBQ, bull runs, half day trips to San Sebastián, check outs and then pack it all down.

I could go into detail about each day but that would be one long ass novel. Instead I’ll tell you about the Running of the Bulls. When I was about 18 I wrote a bucket list of everything I wanted to do, the usual sky dive, travel, learn a new language were all on there, but then I had some that people wouldn’t even dare to write down; dive with sharks (done) swim with crocodiles (yet to be completed) and run with the Bulls. This was all before I knew what the Running of the Bulls festival was all about. Many people do not like the festival because of the animal cruelty behind it, however, I ask that they research and even experience it before they gather their opinion. Yes you can read all about it on the internet but how about you read all about this amazing burger online and never taste it? You will never get the full experience, that burger could taste completely different to what you have read. So anyway, Monday the 6th of July was the opening ceremony, this involves everyone wearing white (you wear white throughout the whole festival but today is especially important) you also wear a red sash around your waist and a red scarf around your wrist. Everyone gathers in the main square (or the second square which is less busy and better for tourists) there is live music and everyone is happy dancing and drinking their choice of beverage. At midday the Major makes a speech, at this time everyone in the crowd takes the scarf from their wrist and holds it in the air while he speaks. Once he is finished you then tie the scarf around your neck where it stays for the rest of the festival. You have to quick because that’s when the sangria starts flying! Hundreds of litres of sangria is up in the air then onto your once white clothing. After the sangria fight people then move to the bars lined up on the streets to enjoy more drinks and food. You are sticky and purple for the rest of the day but it’s all worth it! People who have balconies that overlook the bars on the streets start throwing water down to rinse everybody off, we all cheered hoping they would shower us with cold water!

This would have to be one of my favourite days travelling! Everybody holding up their scarves makes for a beautiful photo, but words just don’t do it justice. The party continues for as long as you can handle, a group of us headed back to the camp site at about 4pm for what we only describe as the greatest shower ever! Sangria in the hair is just not pleasant.

Day two of the festival and it is the first bull run. Now I didn’t really know what to expect from this, you hear horror stories, you see the photos but you never really know what’s going to happen. Back to bucket list briefly to let you know that, no I did not run, mainly because it is against tradition for girls to run and also because I had no idea what it was going to be like so I wanted to watch it first. There is an arena where the bull run ends, the run is less than a kilometre long and it lasts about 3 minutes. The run starts at 8:00am and we were sitting in the arena by 7:30am watching the pre run entertainment. At about 5 minutes to 8:00am the big screen shows the start line where everyone is chanting to the San Fermin statue holding up the local paper from that day rolled up. Then BANG the first gun shot goes off and the Bulls are released and everyone begins to run, up the road, round dead mans corner, through the town and finally finishing in the arena. The Bulls run straight through to the other side. Then a final gun shot goes which indicates all the Bulls have entered the arena which then leads to the arena doors being closed. The replay is shown on the big screen which has everyone, including those who just ran, gasping. Oh! Ahh! Woah! Is the most common reactions heard. This is where tourists and I’m sure many locals begin to feel mixed emotions, what did we just witness? That doesn’t seem like the pictures. But we did just see someone get nearly trampled, we saw Bulls hit people on the streets and massive amounts of people running in excitement but panic. How are you supposed to feel? Back to the arena and a smaller younger bull gets released into the arena where everyone starts running in circles or jumping over the side to escape the bull. (I should have pointed out earlier but I’ll let you know now that the lightest bull in the race was 505kg….. Enough said) the bull will last less than 10 minutes before an even bigger bull comes in to guide the young bull out of the arena. Again we are seeing people getting flipped, trod on and head butted by this bull how are we to feel? People placed themselves in this situation, do we feel sorry for them? Me personally, I felt more for the bull than the people, I won’t go into detail for that part, but what you should know is that this is my personal opinion, others feel different, others see different.

Well I guess I should give a brief history on the festival, it started not in Pamplona but another city in Spain. At first people would chase the Bulls from one town to another to transport them, (then some wise guy decided to run from them instead) see Bulls at an older age are calmer and less violent but push its buttons in the wrong way and of course you would get an angry bull. The Bulls that run are especially breaded and are treated like absolute royalty before they run. Yes later that night there are the bull fights where the Bulls that ran earlier that day are killed and their meat sold, this is the main part people are against. The way they are killed will bring most to tears or fill them with disgust, but it’s tradition, it’s culture and some people just can’t stomach the concept. So the bull fighter puts on a show with the bull, flips, tricks and uses the cape to taunt the bull, then when the bull is tired he takes 7 different coloured swords and will stab the Bull in 7 exact places. The final sword is placed in the bull and then is taken away to be sold. Oh I forgot to mention (light hearted please read away now) the ears and tail are also cut off and thrown into the crowd, if you happen to catch it, it is deemed as good luck. Not so pleasant to watch or hear but again, it is their culture and tradition.

So what did I learn from experience? Well it was definitely a culture shock to say the least. But being surrounded by it and being apart of the celebration gave me so many different emotions and thoughts that I can’t quite place into words. People can argue how cruel it all is and how against it they are, however, I will challenge those to experience it for themselves. I am neither for nor against it, I support that it is their tradition and festival and I feel that it was a once in a life time experience unlike any other.

For those who are highly against it and are shaking their heads at me right now, rest assured times are changing and new rules and regulations are being put in place for the bull fights and maybe even the bull run. A few cities in Spain have already banned bull fights, I am sure that like a domino the rest will fall.

This is the travelling girl with the travelling diary signing off on Pamplona with only one thing left to say;

Spain, until next time you hot mamma jamma!

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Entry two

Let me start this by saying, those who have duel citizenship, go out there and work and travel with the ease knowing you didn’t have to apply for a visa and go through that hooha, and more importantly you are not restricted to a 2 year visa. I understand that there is a bit of work behind getting the second passport, but believe when I say it is so so so so worth it! Now, preparing for an overseas holiday is so different to preparing to live and work overseas. So many things that had to be done that I didn’t even think of. Paperwork after paperwork after phone calls after phones calls, I was so busy preparing I didn’t get a chance to enjoy the countdown, instead it was oh dear I leave in 15days, 18minutes and 7seconds and I still haven’t done *begin list* lucky for me I had my mum who had her own list and a week to help me complete it. (Thanks mum you are the best)

So when preparing for a holiday you have pretty much everything ready to go months before you leave, tours booked, accommodation sorted, you have a general plan of what you will be doing in your time away. Working overseas, I’m going over with money, some accommodation, a visa and a prayer that I get a job, it’s a scary thing and I was and still quite nervous about it all. The fact that I don’t have a return date is the scariest part, but that’s the best part of the adventure right? Time doesn’t own me on this journey, I own time and I’m going to use every second of it!

Those who go on such adventure will agree with me when I say that we don’t do it to be secure in a job or for the leisure of travel, we do it for the risk, the freedom, the excitement and unnerving feeling of where will tomorrow take us next! We are truly surrounded by the unknown opportunities and embrace what is thrown our way.

I’m going to end with a quote I read while making the journey to London. It's by James Joyce and I believe it is the perfect end to the start of this story

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.”

[buildabridgeandlangoverit]

Diary entry one

Why did I decide to leave my life behind to travel to the other side of the world for maybe a year to work? Adventure, mystery, exploring the unknown and for pure happiness. Now let’s get a few things out of the way, my name is Olivia but most people call me Ollie. I’m 23, I worked in hospitality for quite some time and I studied Event Management and Travel. I was just like any other 23 year old, I worked, I studied, I partied, the usual stuff, but I always had this want this NEED to travel and explore everything the world had to offer. So that’s exactly what I did. Every year I would travel to a new destination and every time I would come home after an amazing time and have a nice long sit down about how I now need to get my life together, get full time work, buy a house, find a handsome boy and get married, you know normal stuff. But every time I sat down to plan out my life it always came back to travelling. Yes I could buy a house and sit in it and be super proud that I own it, or I could go sit with some locals at a bar in Brussels and learn first hand how the other side of the world lives. Gather different stories, tell my lame Australian jokes and teach them how we live in Australia. Don’t get me wrong, those who own a house now you should be very proud, remember we have different lives, different goals and different ambitions, I just want to share mine. So I guess we start from the beginning. I always felt as though a small part of me was missing, this lingering feeling that I needed to be doing something more… I need to work overseas. I need to be a tour guide and be up the front of the bus talking till I’m sick of my own voice (like that would ever happen) But the thing that always stopped me from leaving Australia to travel and work was the big one, money and two, the excuse of “oh something has come up, I will put it off for another year” you know like that assignment you should be doing now but you are reading this blog instead? So now that we are all caught up, how did I get to here. Well one night while looking up my next holiday destination on the Topdeck website, I just so happened to click on jobs (oops) and saw the perfect opportunity to work with Topdeck. I didn’t think I was going to get the job but low and behold, 2am Saturday morning I got the ever so wonderful email saying that they would like to take me as part of the team. I was so excited I could have danced till morning. The job is a volunteer role, working at Running of the Bulls and Oktoberfest. I’m super excited to go to Spain, I haven’t been before and Running of the Bulls is up there on my bucket list! Now, my parents have always been so supportive with anything I want to do, that’s one of the reasons why I love them so much. Any crazy idea I have I can share with them and they will laugh with me or at me, either way they support me. So when I told them that I got the job and would be leaving in a couple of months, honestly I thought I was going to get a sit down talk about how it might not be the best idea now because of all these reasons. But they weren’t. They were so supportive, excited and just so helpful that it made me relaxed and less stressed about leaving. I was honestly freaking out about it all, but more excited than anything. I mean hello! I’m about to go on the greatest adventure and my only plan was to have no plan! By this point you are probably thinking why am I writing all this. Well, because if you are like me and long to see the world but feel as though something is holding you back, I am here to tell you there isn’t and be the living proof that your dream is possible. Any dream for that matter, if you want to buy that car, you go for it, ask that cute boy that always buys coffee on a date you go girl ask away! You want to work overseas and travel till you can’t stand to get on another plane, then by golly you can and you will! You are about to come on my journey with me and read all the struggles, happiness and everything in between that I am about to face. Am I scared, umm HELL YES, am I nervous, incredibly, am I excited? AM I EXCITED? Super excited! I want to share all my memories with you. Whether you are a friend or family member reading this or you just happened to stumble upon this blog, I want you to experience this amazing adventure with me. I am about to live my life goal, something I have wanted to do for years. This is what the term ‘living the dream’ is all about and I can’t wait to share it all! Happy Reading Guys and Gals it is going to be on hell of a story.

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Ollie's Top Ten Dating Tips

Single yet so ready to mingle? Here are Ollie's top tips for dating Top five dating tips for guys 1. If she got guy friends consider it a bonus! would you rather a girl with only girl friends? Conversation demo; "Like omg Whitney isn't speaking to Brittany which makes it awkward for Shitney who doesn't like Pitney" 2. Girls nights are very fun, and important. Gives a chance for your girl to bitch, moan and gossip with other girlfriends. More they hear the less you have to (refer to demo conversation above) and if they want to wear that sexy little dress they have been saving for such occasion, let them! Makes them feel good and it should make you feel even better knowing that that is your girl. Other fellas can take a number and seat and yes the wait will be long because that girl is allll yours 3. Yes girly movies/TV shows bore you to death and make you wonder what bob the builder is doing at his work site and how you wish you could swap, but your girl loves it when you just sit and enjoy her company while she is keeping up with the Kardashians. And if she sits through your violent, space ship, shooting shows and movies the least you can do is return the favour 4. If it's important to her it should matter to you. Simple as that (this tip works both ways, ladies if his passion is Pokemon cards then sit and listen to how Squirtle is totes ma goats the greatest. Just smile and wave, smile and wave) 5. (And the most important of the 5 tips) Be the man you would want your daughter to bring home Now for the ladies Top five dating tips for girls 1. Again, if he has girl friends the better for you! Think about it, when your birthday comes round instead of getting the Tonka truck the boys suggested you get a pretty necklace that makes your eyes sparkle. Plus when you go to parties with him you have other females to retreat to when the challenge of "who can chug the most beer in 30seconds" comes up (figuratively and literally) 2. If he wants to spend some time with the boys for the love of all that is mighty let him! If he wanted to sit on the couch on a Saturday night watching the note book for the millionth time then he would be sleeping with your brother 3. If you decide to ignore tip 2 and still force him to stay home, get a movie he would want to watch. Because he might just go ahead and build a house on a private island just to avoid watching Ryan Gosling be the perfect male once again 4. When meeting his family for the first time, be you. Because behind all the "omg I love that pretty (hideous is what you really want to say) necklace like where did you get it from?" Bullshit you are forcing through the grind of your teeth his family is smelling it, and honey yo shit do stank 5. If you enjoy making your boy jealous by flirting with other boys in front of him etc. you can go ahead and keep walking. That act will only lead to disappointment, drama or a dead end. You want drama sweetie? Here is the past 10 seasons of The Young and the Restless, knock yourself out