brokenboysfrombrokenhomes

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

I fucking love a good greek mythology parallel and the moment I realized that Thomas is literally holding a shovel I audibly gasped. Chef’s kiss. This show will be the death of me.

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

Jessica Parker Kennedy as Max (the best character) from Black Sails. I started this two and a half years ago and abandoned it because I had anxiety about drawing her hair. Turns out her hair was actually fun to draw; what I *should* have had anxiety about was that fucking sheet.

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

The news about Max Bowden leaving EE saddens me. I hope it's not one sided on EE's part.

But I can't say I'm not relieved for him in some way. He's had to work tough storylines, and not given much more than being sad. There isn't so much to explore at the end of the day. The rape, the ED and losing weight like he did, losing Lola... Must have taken a toll on him. So I'm glad he can kinda be free of it. (even if it means a less regular paycheck and everything)

#eastenders #ben mitchell #Max bowden #Honestly I kinda hope his exit is prison related #So he can come back and be a bad guy #There's only so much you can do in a soap with a nice guy going to therapy #I mean I don't trust ee #I'm not saying it can't ever be done

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

Les Tuche 3 (2018) réal. Olivier Baroux

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

my biggest obstacle as a writer is that i desperately want to be a popular and well-known fic author, but my main fic inspiration comes from characters most fans don’t want to read fic for, or ideas that go against popular fanon/characterization and so are doomed from the start. i end up feeling paralyzed and like i can’t write the unpopular ideas I want to write, because i hate knowing i could have done better by writing something with broader appeal. but whenever i try to write solely for numbers i lose motivation while the halfway through the fic. so i end up unable to write anything and feeling miserable because of it.

i want to see my unpopular ideas come to life, but i don’t want to see my fics crash and burn and keep missing the chance to create fic that people really love. so most times, i don’t write anything, but i hate that i’m so hamstrung by my own anxieties. i so desperately wish i could create one of those extremely well-known long fics that most people love and always rec everywhere, but i feel like i’m completely incapable of that. i know i should be writing for myself, but i’m greedy and want results and for people to like my fic, however unlikely that is. wanting to write my ideas but knowing i’ll limit my audience if i do is something that’s constantly on my mind. do you have any advice for me?

My biggest question after reading your ask is simply: why?

You're very clear about wanting to be a popular writer. You want to write a fic that lots of people talk about, and you want people to know who you are. Have you examined that desire at all?

You say that the things you actually want to write are not the things that will make you a popular author. That means you have a choice:

write things you don't care about with no guarantee of becoming that Big Name Fan or

write things you love and enjoy spending time writing and know that BNF status will probably never happen.

Writing fanfic is really not a great way to try to become popular. It's an even worse way to try to become "famous" in any kind of way. So dig into what it is that you hope to get from the "broader audience" that you could appeal to by writing something you don't really like.

Are you trying to get a feeling of being liked? Respected? Looked up to? Do you want to be someone other fans look to for advice or for setting the tone of the fandom? Do you want love? Power? Some kind of community connection? Recognition of the effort you put into your works?

Some of those things likely will require you to pretend to be someone you're not. You might even manage to write that one big fic that gets thousands of comments and tons of people talking about it on tumblr (or wherever else you care about, social media-wise).

Others you can probably still get by writing your "unpopular" ideas but seeking out your fellow fans. It will take more legwork to find them and you'll need to be willing to be the first one to reach out for a conversation, but it can definitely be done.

I'll leave it up to you to decide what you actually want, anon. But take your time and scrape off the top layer of shiny thoughts about popularity first. Then you'll be able to see what's underneath.

#You might just want to connect with people? #Anyway really good post all over

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

literally cannot believe "first ever live action omegaverse show" is not bigger news on tumblr

#I think I learned about it a few months #And was reminded yesterday as it came out #And.... Yeah seeing posts with only a few notes what is happening #Altho maybe I reblogged nothing about it because I didn't want to inflict that and #Yeah maybe we're all doing that

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

Putting it 'cause I can't put it on my main but I need to say it. It feels really good to have a friend in whom you can confide and talk about intimate, existential crisis. Even actually realize you have those going on and that's why you feel like you've been strained at the seams, feeling like you're this close to bursting but you have no idea what could be causing this. Maybe it's 4 things entangled, so entangled you needed to talk it out. And having a friend to do it with it, I'm very grateful for that.

#But it's partially about my partner who follows me on my main #And I don't want them to learn about it that way #And I can't say it to other friends because they're also connected to the mess #And anyway I don't feel like I can have those discussions with them #Or not at this moment anyway #Personal #Will delete later #Needed to put it out there #Just putting it in a draft was not enough for my heart bursting with lie #WITH LOVE BURSTING WITH LOVE

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

where are you we miss you xx

thank you, sorry i haven't been present but i haven't been into eastenders for a lil while so i haven't posted. i am following from afar. saw they kicked off a ED storyline and that ben is going to therapy (or some sort of help anyway) and that is so nice.

kinda wondering what it means for the mitchell's legacy once phil is off the show (however the writers do it, probably a shocking death)

like drama wise it is useful to have a bad guy on the block, and an unstable one. i kept wondering if they would ever have ben go through something worse yet and he'd snap and turn on callum, lexie and everyone and turn into his father

im glad they have him change enough he doesn't sound like his father anymore, or not as much. (or at least from what i've seen)

#eastenders

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

do you still watch eastenders i miss your posts xx

thank you for your message, it is much appreciated. alas i don't really watch anymore, only from afar.

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

Did u guys know camp is actually an acronym

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

are they planning an alcoholic!ben storyline?

#ballum #eastenders

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

Regarding the previous anon - FINALLY someone saying it too. I understand that some people here want to remain positive but continuously saying we have to wait for this or that sl to be over first before Ben’s (Ballum’s) story will be back in the forefront, or we have to wait and be patient because whatever other excuse is said. Sorry if I sound harsh, but this blind positivity for something that looks further and further away from happening, is also damaging. Maybe a bit dramatic, but I can’t keep being so positive about Ben and Callum like some others, it will cause too much disappointment and I’m fuming because the show really IS crap at aftermaths and I have no idea but I’m wondering if it’s just us Ballum fans feeling so let down or are other fans seeing it too? Why is Eastenders so damn bad at this?

It's looking like a lot of good characters are leaving or have left. Idk if the show will still be interesting a year from now, but so far? I dont find it enjoyable at all.

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

I keep seeing people say there's still time to pick Ben's story back up but we might just have to wait a bit longer, and i'm like are you new here. I don't forget the weeks and months we waited for Callum to be affected by his kidnapping, or more recently being beaten in a hate crime. Guess what we're still waiting. Just like we're still waiting for acknowledgement (CI aside) of Ben's deafness.

I'm not trying to be defeatist but I've come to accept that this show likes to put the boys through utter misery with little to no payoff and unfortunately Ben's SA doesn't look like it's going to treated any differently than all the other s/l's they've had before it.

It's kinda funny that some people still believe that ee would put any effort into the ben/callum sl aftermath...like at this point I'd be surprised if they even mention it at all.

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

“Disillusion” is an intricate sculpture carved from a single block of marble by Italian Artist Queirolo. Even the net is marble!

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

Would love to hear more of your thoughts about the Callum and Jay scene. At the time it thought it was a bit off, or at least weaker than some of the other scenes between that group, especially the line about him being glad jay and lola were back together. I guess maybe it was a reunion tease, but it just seem really bizarre and clunky and the more I think about quite unhelpful and vaguely insensitive.

Callum somehow missed out how Jay was absolutely Not Fine. How... How do you miss that and you're supposed to be a police officer? I mean it tracks with how police officer are not actually any sort of intelligent.

I kinda get that being affected by grief would have you oblivious to others' pain. But this is Callum. Lola is not related to him more than she is to Jay or Ben or Lexie. She might be his friend but not even a best friend. They might have had deep-ish talks. But nothing else. This isn't Whitney. So to me, Callum *cannot* be affected to the point he is oblivious to people's pain.

But then it tracks with his terrible handling of Ben's PTSD and mental state.

#eastenders #ben x callum #ballum #I hate how they're writing terrible characters to make the drama easier

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

I'm with you on the reunion, though I'm happy for the people who enjoyed it! But I thought it was awful. I didn't have high expectations for it because I get the impression the show wants to move on to Lola's storyline and brush Ben's story and everything that happened this year under the rug - but I wasn't expecting it to be that lazy and unconnected to what's gone before! Horrified at Ben apologising like that, what was he apologising for? Setting his own boundaries after a horrifying rape ordeal? And yet again no character growth for Callum or acknowledgement of his own faults in this relationship.

Definitely happy for those who enjoyed. But I just can't enjoy it.

It does seem like they want to move from that story for Ben and.... I dislike that big time. It really felt like an amazing story, from the beating up strangers in the street to choosing not to kill Lewis. I didn't like every thing about it, but it does work. So much development. That have been swept under the rug, if not entirely erased with the "back to being silent like a true mitchell".... Unless they really go for it and have Ben enact some terrible violence because he has been shown he cannot trust the justice and the police. I wouldn't mind that. But that means Callum couldn't be in his life.

#Now I'm picturing Ben becoming a chief mob like person who just ruthlessly deals horrible stuff #But still in love with Callum in his heart of heart #And Callum having to work on taking him down but still loving him and knowing it's all born out of the system not working #And still he works for the system because he believes it can do good (imo it cannot but Callum can think whatever)