beneathazuresmask

[beneathazuresmask]

Could be, but honestly...

I kinda don't mind it as much as I used to. Mostly because I used to just mistaken for a friend of mine with that name, but I know no one that shops here but his parents and my dad knows who he is so... Yeah, maybe it works tbh. Leans better into the neutral territory than my actual name and I've been trying a couple other names but they haven't fit as well as that one

#somechubbynerd #warriorpax

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Starting to feel like the universe is telling me my name should be Taylor. Though, that might be from how many customers misread my name tag at work

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Woooo feeling a mite dysphoric tonight, yaaaaaaaaay

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You're right. He refuses to listen to me when I try to counterargue too.

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The fact that Dad called the whole trial thing a witch hunt is... Really making me feel not okay

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Gonna squish and knead Cordazure's belly flab~

Rnskdojcdnndn

#gainprincess

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5 simple exercises to awaken dormant muscles

{source}

#topdecking #i should do these more often #i do try to do some of them at least every day

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When trans women are mocked and made into jokes in the media, I get very upset, and I am often told “Kay, you can’t go through life getting offended every time someone makes a joke.” And I sputter and object but they don’t hear me. So I want to be clear for once, about why the jokes make me angry.

I learned to hate myself for being transgender before I knew I was transgender. I laughed at the jokes in stand up comedy routines, and prime time sitcoms, and animated comedy shows, and in the movies, and in books, and in games, laughing at trans women for existing, about “men in dresses”, about people who “got their dicks chopped off”, and I learned to think that was worthy of ridicule.

And then a day came when I felt a pang of envy at what my female classmates were wearing and I repressed it, and felt guilty, and a day where I felt incomplete because I had no breasts and I repressed it and I felt disgusting And a day when I realized the only images of romance that made me feel anything showed two women together and I repressed it and I felt like a monster And a day when I realized I felt sick when I looked at myself in the mirror after every shower before work and couldn’t bear to look at my own face, and I hated myself. And then there came a day when I hated myself so much, and I thought I could never understand why, and so I just wanted it all to end. And it was just a miracle that I swerved my car back into my lane in time.

And all of it started with a joke that I heard on TV, and then kept hearing from all the voices from the ether, over and over and over, worming an idea into my mind before I was old enough to realize I was absorbing it, the idea that a man in a dress is funny, and that changing your body parts makes you a freak, and that women who have penises instead of vaginas are liars and hurt men. And they’re still making these jokes. And somewhere out there right now, just like all those years ago, there is a little girl in a t-shirt and cargo shorts with buzzed off hair watching the TV, hearing that joke and absorbing it without knowing it, who will someday have to pry herself apart to tear it out of her head, just like I did.

That is, if she doesn’t kill herself first.

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Frankly, I'm very fucking shocked at how quickly my post about Tumblr staff being shitty spread around. And that matters, it's not wrong to say that shit matters. But I almost heard not a peep about Nex Benedict all throughout the day, despite it being the MURDER OF A TRANSGENDER CHILD.

But yeah it's cuz the kid was Cherokee.

I'm not touching trans issues with a ten foot pole anymore until y'all fix that cracker issue.

الله يرحمهم.

#this happened just a town over from me #and yeah if we want anything from our tribes we have to live here #and even then sometimes it's still so many hoops and such to deal with #theres so much needing to be fixed in this state

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here's a link! you'll have to make an account in order to pre-order (for free) and access the course. 🤟

#I'ma sign up for this so i can help out my deaf customers

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Immunity Dog (meme)

#good doggo

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What question fucked you up?

The one about the face claims deal. I end up changing all the time and it's because of my own issues in how I see or don't see myself and the struggle of being happy with myself

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Damn... I didn't expect that question to really fuck me up like that. Fucking... Why is my brain like this, especially with how I wanna look/how I view myself

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#I have a job but #a better job i actively enjoy and love would be nice

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Also, I wanna stop feeling so drained and tired on my days off