ben-schwartz-thoughts

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such a fucking bop needed to be embroidered

#THIS IS BRILLIANT

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#he has literally no business being that adorable 24/7

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Murder is never okay!

Unless it is committed by my beloved fictional characters in which case it's perfectly alright <3

#this is about Yasper Lennov

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Ben Schwartz as F. Tony Scarapiducci in Space Force season 2 episode 1

#oh I love him #he is me

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"Yasper is my favorite character, I'll be sad if he turns out to be the murderer :(" rip to you guys but I'm different. He's my favorite character and I HOPE he turns out to be the murderer. I want to see my funky little guy kill.

#yeah actually #tbh I would’ve been kinda disappointed if it turned out to be one of the jenifers or Danner or someone we weren’t expecting #it HAD to be Yasper #and tbh guessing the murderer made it.. more fun to watch? #though I can’t say that because I did NOT see it coming at all #I think I just immediately trusted Ben Schwartz which is dangerous..

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Please excuse this terrible quality gif, I just had to show y'all how adorable he is omg 🥺

#cuddly ;-; #this man is going to be the death of me mark my words

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THE AFTERPARTY 1.02 Brett

#I’vE nEvEr SeEn aNyOnE tHaT sMaLL #Yasper I love you

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girl help i'm getting attached

#if this post wasn’t about Yasper #it is now #the afterparty #the afterparty spoilers #spoilers #Yasper lennov my beloved #Ben Schwartz

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you guys!!!!

#just finished season 2 and will not have a reason to live unless it gets renewed for season 3 #I’m just gonna be watching fuck tony clips on YouTube until then #idk what I’m gonna do if it get cancelled..

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It’s “wanting to kiss Ben Schwartz on the mouth” hours in here tonight folks

#ben schwartz #ray rants and junk #guess who is touch starved and thirsting over another forty year old man again #space force #the afterparty #f tony #Yasper #Yasper lennov #netflix #appletv #personal

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THE AFTERPARTY main characters + their cartoon counterparts

#this episode was so cute oh my goodness-

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I just saw "Space Force" and F. Tony Scarapiducci literally was like:

THE ENTIRE FREAKING SHOW.

#LITERALLY OML-

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DONT AXE ME TO BE LOOSE IT ONLY MAKES ME TIGHTER

#don’t AKX me to be LOOOOOOOOOOSE #I love how done Ben looks

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underrated gem of parking lot wedding: caterpillar? fuck you

#FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT #I’m a butterfly you want me to be a worm??? #is that what turns into a butterfly?? #ughghghg caterpillar? fuck you! #middleditch & schwartz #ben schwartz

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Tony is going to end up dating Angela and Chan both because he's tired of their bullshit.

#you’re right and you should say it :///// #space force #angela ali #chan kaifang #ben schwartz #f tony #god I just wanna see these three together #I just think their dynamic as a triad would be so fun and interesting to watch #all three of them interchangeably have great chemistry with one another #and even though we haven’t really seen the three of them interact much together I really hope we do in (potentially) season 3 #this show mostly sucks but I really hope there is a season 3 JUST for chan/tony/angela to potentially become canon #also they all radiate chaotic bi energy

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middleditch and schwartz quotes that are in my head right now

jesus absolute holy fucking christ

*mumbling alien voice* wri ih o th boarh!

~I'll allow it~

I was born in 1981.. fuck was my cock huge!

..... we work for the tsa

oaaghh card trick! anyway..

take the first page, fold it up like an airplane, what the fuck was that?!

revenge... vengeance....... revengeance....

you're all alone in there (and I'm just a boy) and you're just a boy!

this is just two gazelles, consenting who gets to fuck who, via a one and done rock paper scissors

you doin pants to this thing?

I'm not a flat earther, but I do think if I had slippery enough shoes I could slide allllll the way around

I don't know why don't you ask your kids

stop chanting FUCK YOU NIGEL no, stop chanting

my hair's down to my butt, I play magic the gathering, and I love my dad's lap! I'm toby! I've got a million friends!

randy? I fuck

I've got a bow tie, and a tie

I, uh, wh- uh, if, what, what does.. the sound. a- a doodie make?

don't look at me, I own a cat farm!

you are some kind of ff fuckin, d-dumbass...

I'm loose as a ca- I don't think you should ask a woman- (say it, say it loose as a c- you were about to say it, say it. say it, I've never heard the phrase before!) It's not something you ask a lady, but I am loose as a caboose~

Next Is a Visual Skills Challenge. To The Best Of Your Ability, Embody.. A Gazelle. You Have a Full Minute.

ABANDON YOUR CHILD EMILY. ABANDON YOUR BOOOYYYYY.

b story: jason's hungry

you're hard, sir.

if that side is the groom's side and the bride's side.. oh, we're all people from the music festival

does anybody have anything mean to say?

just a quick pause. I'm still here! and I know exactly what he wants!

~I can still be the priest if you want~

Harold. HAROLD, HAROLD. HAROLD.

door open or closed? well.. nowadays.......... take a seat.

it's a short nine. (short nine?!) yeah, she's a short nine, sir.

this fucking guy.

#I only saw all the Middleditch and Schwartz specials like a week ago and I haven’t been able to function properly since

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I know, I know, but do yourself a favor and listen to this song because sweet baby boy Benny Schwa goes so hard

#god this show is amazing #if you haven’t seen the afterparty yet you need to see it specifically for Ben #I implore you #rip to people who don’t have appletv #the afterparty #Ben Schwartz