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AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ooooops i’ve recovered and gained all the weight i lost back and am back where i started about 2 years ago and i actually wanna die … ahaha oops. ahaha lol oops.

#ana ed #anadiaries #ed hour #tw ana stuff #tw ed relapse #anor3x1a #ed not sheeran #rexiia #anarexsick #anor3xic #just ed stuff #skinnni

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“but you don’t look anorexic?”

dw! i’m trying to! 😍

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Ugh. Imagine being born naturally beautiful and skinny. 🙄🙄🙄

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okay - at this point

id do anything

anything to look like the girls on pinterest.

to radiant fucking skinny energy. for people to tell me to “each a cheeseburger” or “omg how did u do it?” i want to be so small i whither away. like fuckkkkkkkkkk. i want to be perceived as someone skinny and beautiful.

#ana ed #anadiaries #ed hour #ed not sheeran #tw ana stuff #tw ed relapse #anor3x1a #rexiia #anarexsick #anor3xic #just ed stuff #skinnni #ijustwanttobeaskeleton

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I’ve gained so much weight. I still don’t weigh as much as I did in high school, but im getting there. and it’s killing me.

i don’t want to be sick anymore, but being fat honestly seems worse to me. Like hearing the words “I am getting fat again” hurts worse than the IV in my arms, the infinite amounts of bruises, or sore body from exhausted workouts.

Why can’t the weight stay off and recovery be an option. Why do I have to choose whether to be fat or to be sick?

I’ve tried to lose weight in a “safer” manor, it never works.

i feel like my body is ruined forever

#ana ed #anadiaries #ed hour #tw ana stuff #tw ed relapse #anor3x1a #rexiia #anor3xic #skinnni #just ed stuff #anarexsick

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so when i get my nails done, the nail tech takes pics of my nails for her insta. so a pic of my hand and it makes me wanna throw up. i have such manly and chubby fingers. 🫥🤮

it makes me simply wanna pass away

i need to loose 20lbs stat

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it’s truly funny how life works

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some thinspo for today

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Im not in a prime ED, actually in recovery, but so much is happening in my life and it’s like being in a room with a constant spin.

A spin that slows when i walk to the other end of the table, the table where Ana sits with her diet coke and pretty smile.

Take a seat she says. Ill temporarily take the confusion and stress away she says. Ill walk you through the first steps, a crutch just for a little while, but you know the rest she says.

#ana ed #anadiaries #ed hour #ed not sheeran #tw ana stuff #tw ed relapse #anor3x1a #rexiia #anarexsick #anor3xic #just ed stuff #skinnni

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bruh

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honestly, if i didn’t want to look good in every piece of clothing i own and want to own, i would of never decided to diet. but if i would of never decided to diet, i would have never gotten my ED ✨sparkle✨.

Idk pros and cons to everything i guess.

#ana ed #anadiaries #ed hour #ed not sheeran #tw ana stuff #tw ed relapse #anor3x1a #rexiia #anor3xic #skinnni #just ed stuff #anarexsick

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no but fr. i’d give my soul for this.

Why, oh why can't I be one of those people that don't like chocolate or sweets in general?

Why.

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A Tiny Relapse

i need some control, a small amount of euphoric moments, for the scale to slowly trickle down and i don’t have to feel the constant fear in my chest that my body is taking up to much space.

i want the train wreck in my head to be an organized messed, categorized and stuffed into files by yours truly, Ana herself. it’s like a shield of comfort portrayed as dizzy, emptiness laid over the complications of change and anxiety. Ana disguised as my mother just trying to nurture me back into her perfect mold.

a mold i desire more each day.

#ana ed #anadiaries #ed hour #ed not sheeran #tw ana stuff #tw ed relapse #anor3xic #anor3x1a #rexiia #skinnni #tw relaspe

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Having the “food talk” with people literally makes me wanna dig my own grave. Explaining that when they talk about calories and bad food to me, it makes my brain cry. I literally had a melt down and Ana was like, “just relapse sweety, than u wont need to worry about this” and man.. i feel this time. she’s right.

#anadiaries #ed not sheeran #ana ed #ed hour #tw ed relapse #tw ana stuff #anarexsick #anor3x1a #anor3xic #rexiia #just ed stuff #tw ed vent

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I wish I could eat like a skinny person. Super slow, small portions, and super picky. Like imagine having that will power all the time. I’d be like skinny skinniiii

How do I even do it? like all the time? SOS? Help? Tips?

#ana ed #tw ed relapse #tw ana stuff #anadiaries #anor3x1a #rexiia #ed hour #ed not sheeran #ed humour #anarexsick #tw ana thoughts #thjnspo #thinnsp0 #skinnni