bbiya131

[bbiya131]

after few months studying for TOPIK (korean proficiency test) . not hardly. but few times just to realize the exam is gonna be hard, finally the exam day came. I think ive studied 2 days before exam more than I studied for a month combined. Last minute at its best. But ngl, i did study gradually everyday. if its not through textbook, i’ll study just by listening, and reading novels. or tweets.

anyway. today was the day.

I woke up early, studied a lil bit more, hoping the last minute vocabs i found helps. At 11, made dua, asked for my parent’ dua, my dad drop me off to the venue. I brought along my books thinking i can revise before the exam then I saw the long queue for exam registration. “ah theres no way i can read more, gotta find a good place”, went through the long queue handled badly by the committee, suddenly im already at my designated desk. lil did i know my study stopped at 11.

so many people than i thought

“폰을 꺼서 앞으로 보내줍니다” (Turn off your phone and leave it infront)

-Turned off my phone, and gave.

“아이패드도 있으시면 보내줍니다” (if you have ipad too, please leave it here too)

“Oh my ipad” turned it off and gave it to them.

My desk was quite strategic, it was beside the window, not having anyone beside is a blessing. and, I have “goodluck :)” written besides my name pasted on the table. weird. i look at others’, there was nothing. Oh, so sweet of whoever you are, thank you. with Bismillah, i started the first question.

the exam was quite smooth than I thought. I think, for the little effort I put into the exam, honestly, its not bad. Its not hard but its not easy. The time is very limited. I think it was carefully set juuuust nice with the amount of questions. i dont have a second to rest!

the vocabs were okay, its quite, readable? understandable?

the questions were okay, i guess?

the time, was my enemy.

“십본 남았습니다!“ (10 minutes left!)

and I was at question 36 out of 50???????????

I honestly just used my ingenious instinct skill and colored the OMR in. no more comprehensive reading happened.

But its okay.

the pen that they gave and we got to bring back!

I’ve tawakal!! Allah made it easy. I have to always remind myself that its not me, its Allah who made it easy (not that easy but just ok). ALHAMDULILLAH IM DONE.

I now have one less problem to think. i can proudly close my eyes to the topik related youtube notifications now. even, i can turn it off now. i dont have to think i suck for not studying and scrolling tiktok anymore. yuhuuuuu

ALHAMDULILLAH ALHAMDULILLAH. im so relieved.

Also, I met a lot of great people there. everyone was so friendly. a lot of familiar faces. 용기 빌려 다가오고 말 걸고..braved myself to say hi. I was so happy to meet them. everyone’s face was so different before and after the exam, everyone looked so happy.

no matter the result, ive tried my best. and I will accept whatever Allah give me In Shaa’ Allah 🩷

Alhamdulillah. it was a great great experience. im glad i took it.

[bbiya131]

being friends for too long can’t be the reason to stay friends. in fact its seasonal.

rather its the support we gave each other. the time we lent to each other. the attention that we gave each other. the care that we showed. making sure that we dont hurt each other disguising it as a joke.

basic, but some just didnt get it.

[bbiya131]

i met alpaca.

the one who said we need vacations to reset our work spirit girl must be lying. explain why i felt bluer than monday blues everytime i have to go back to work after a good vacation. my mind is still on the same spot i sat yesterday…..ah anyway.

i went glamping!

i went glamping with my friends last weekend and it was great, fun and quite hectic……..enough to make me forget i have exam coming soon. (dont ask me what exam), back home i was like, right, i have to start study again. #ididnt #yet it was hectic because we didnt prepare enough cause these girls were so ffffreaking busy we only discussed the night before. it was fun cause its beautifull, cold and Alhamdulillah, we were not stuck in jamsss at all! really? in a place where its known for its jam? yea,…..Alhamdulillah again.

although we didnt plan anything, Allah have planned everything so beautifully for us. couldn’t be more grateful.

and…we underestimated the coldness so much the weather literally biting us away. omg we cant even stand 5 minutes outside. braved ourselves to cook and eat out but gave in to just sitting on the bed with hot chocos and monopoly instead. it was SO cold. like, how is it colder than korea winter?

the weather is never at fault, its your outfit. yea yea right.

the place was nice, clean, safe, friendly, like okay i dont have enough vocabs pls dont make me describe, anyway its good. the view was sooo beautiful. the pictures speaks for themselves. people actually thought i went overseas. lol. im gatekeeping this guys. sorry not sorry.

it was quiet, only with the chirping sounds of the birds until these 2 girls (i cant say name, cause #friendprotection), was it 3? they were Allahu, the loudest ever i cant. how can a person talk that much? i do need to heal from these supposed to be healing trip ngl. i think i need months.

first time meeting alpaca, knowing the difference between them and llamas (i swear ive been calling them llamas the whole time i hope theyre not offended),,,twas cool. they were so cute.

this was one of the reasons i want to go to cameron!! i knowww KL have scones too but eating it in cold weather somehow makes it 2 times better. i was waiting in line, anxious bcs i was scared the scones got sold out bcs i saw no one’s ordering it (maybe its sold out?, i thought), i kept praying ya Allah pls make it available please and when I ordered it and saw them not flinching at my scones order and bring them out to me, i was crying inside. ALHAMDULILLAH.

got some strawberries, and stuff and we went back home.

i rate this healing trip 4/5. -1 for being so cold.

i kinda missed it already. the weather.

no actually i’ll take it back. i love KL rainy weather more.

btw, ive been thinking hard on what to write more but i really cant. i really dont know what happened to my brain. i cant express things it’s frustrating. its okay. everything will remain as memories in my head instead.

[bbiya131]

Song : JUST FOR YOU

Artist : iKON

Album : NEW KIDS : CONTINUE

[bbiya131]

명필이야 나 아니다

i have poem books. bcs i love reading it. but it doesnt mean i understand it. in fact, i did not, at all, understand anything to be honest. i once thought my mind is deep but at this point, through so many attempts of reading, understanding, even creating, i found out that my mind is very on the surface level.

but interestingly, i tend to love people who think deep and i tried to be like them. it somehow frustrates me that I cant be like them.

i thought, how can a person have so many things to say? have so many expressions or ways to say things? how do they know all these words?

while i am so so simple in expressing. no matter how much i added bombastic creative wonderful vocabs into my brain dictionary, i will end up using the most boring common vocabs ever. nice, pretty, wonderful, ugh. i am always stuck at picking words. my sentences are not even coherent to begin with.

mind you that my mind is everywhere. i think about everything. i have many ideas. but i cant express it. im afraid that i’ll be called “tin kosong”. have thoughts, but didnt act on it? (does it make sense) so….

i kinda dont like that about myself. i dont know if this is a good thing or not. i dont know if this is about my character thats very fast paced that I cant think well? do i need to slow down? i think i should. i tried though. or is it bcs im an introvert?

i once entered a “competition” i mean, like an online contest to continue a story from a single line they gave. you know what i mean? like, they have a line, and i need to complete it. i really wanted to win so i tried soooo hard i can feel my brain was not working. my imagination is there but i cant express it. it was so so frustrating. let alone writing it beautifully? so i cheated, i asked chatgpt to prettify my lines hahaha. just for one entry okay. i did my entries and the others, i didnt ask chatgpt for it. and i think i did quite well. but ofcourse i didnt win.

anyway.

this is why, i like to read. every time i come across a line the author wrote thats beautiful or unique, or funny (the sentence), i’ll underline because i want to look back at it again and copy and use it somewhere in my life. i want to sound cool. haha.

oh i am so happy everytime i got to do it.

maybe i just need to read more. and its gonna take long is it? but i want to be good like right now, fast, is there any other way? zzz

[bbiya131]

mbti

who believes in mbti more than the koreans? i asked around here, and people dont even know theirs. if they do, they must have interest in the kpop scene. besides them, except for introvert/extrovert category, no one really have any ideas about mbti. the other black and white categories. yea, it is very black and white.

thats very weird to me, because we all clearly know that this world is not black and white, there’s grey area for everything. koreans, in particular are veery very obsessed with classifying people by, before the blood type, now mbtis. they have product lines for each mbti categories, they have videos on how different mbti’s would react on certain situations, they have debates abt it, they have all sorts of mbti quizzes you name it.

but not gonna lie, i jumped into it. there are 4 letters, which each have their own personality description or whatever. you can test it yourself here and there’s 16 different types of MBTI. and i know mine. INFJ. whatever that means. the more I read about INFJs, the more i was intrigued by how accurate it is. no way, there’s no way it can be this accurate? really? there are people who shares the same characteristics with me? they must be making this up for god knows what their agenda is. Skeptical.

but oh boy it is accurate. It says, I am very contradicting. Have so much to talk but can’t talk? yes. Fast in reading the room but not my own? yes. Love to bake but lazy? yes. i wonder if there’s anything about having short attention span.

I am an introvert, who loves to talk. people say, INFJ is the extroverts of introverts. like me, see. i talk a lot. here. but when you see meet me, or see me in public? in the corner, or even, in the middle of people, doing everything but talk. seriously there’s nothing for me to open my mouth for. and im SO SHY. or should i say, super shy? hehh

but i am different when I am with the people i am comfortable with. I talk a lot, that sometimes they get sick of me. “do you want to see what i bought?” “hey what does bowling balls are made from?” “dont you think languages are magical cause the world works just from the sounds the mouth made?” “i read a poem last night it was great-” …i love this i love that oh wow i love to talk. I hope i can find someone i can talk so much with. tibe.

but as i said earlier, and as we all know, there’s no black and white in life. i dont really believe these things. i got sick of all the “pov of an introverts” “dream for the introverts” videos on tiktoks. ookkk shutup~~~ we all want to go out and meet people too (do we). i believe each person have their introvert and extrovert side of them. after all, there are people who (is a freak) drains your social battery like hell, and there are people who makes us comfortable and energised (sweet and nice ones, who do not talk bad abt others, im not gonna list it)

so as much as how interesting mbti is, because you get to learn about youselves and others, i dont really believe it. and i dont like classifying people. i hope people stop and just celebrate people as themselves.

me with people

me with people (im comfortable with)

me by myself

[bbiya131]

i think today was a great day. and it somehow completely potrays my perfect daily routine without anything going in my way. which, Alhamdulillah, all came from Allah’s mercy that He helped me in each step of mine.

a great weather really, no, REALLY plays a big part in deciding my mood for the whole day. i love cold rainy days. i love listening to rain. i love staring at the rain pouring. sometimes its diagonal to the right, sometimes its to the left, sometimes its not even diagonal, its straight down. sometimes, i picture them as snow. they do look alike. although i know very well snow is basically rain on freezing days. its snow without the bone-chilling cold.

so i put on my shoes, as i step out of my house, it was the after-rain cold, leaves were scattered everywhere, sky was gray, took out my phone hoping to capture the feelings at that moment so i can reminisce it back, to only putting it back down because i know very well the camera lens wont do its justice and enjoying the present is much much better. no single photos were taken. i love it. Subhanallah.

the lines waiting for the train was not long only means the train is operating smoothly. phew. I dont know about train trips actually. Especially on peak hours. its either me keep scrolling my phone down, just mindlessly staring at something, or having so many thoughts running around. the other day when I sent off my dad to ipoh, I had a thought, how convenient Malaysia is, that my dad can travel to the outskirts without having to drive himself. and my thoughts went to, oh no, not just ipoh, you can go to even outside of Malaysia, by taking the train 5 mins from my house, to the airport rail, to the airport, and by airplane, you can go anywhere in the world? that doesnt make sense. its only 5 mins away to everything! then i thought, its crazy how the world is connected, picturing the globe. then it went to “who even built everything??” crazy.

anyway, thanks to the one who built this train, Ive arrived my office safe and sound.

Please dont ask me what is my job. If there’s one question that people hate the most is what is your job? or what do you do? atleast for me. you wont understand anyway, so I’ll just say I work in an IT department. “so you can hack people?” no, i cant.

So i solved our one last problem today, and we can finally Go Live with our system next monday. Go Live or (is it just Live?) is when youre launching your system to the real world. so i did that today Alhamdulillah.

i love my job. i love thinking for solutions and solving problems. its when i solved a problem i’ll be so happy and be as giddly like a little girl. but my job is just a job. i dont define my self, my life, even, with my job. I am someone who has a lot of hobbies, i do so many things at once. i learn, i read, i pray, i watch, i listen, i write. My job? is nothing of me. and i am glad that all of my teammates are like me too. sometimes I am curious of who they are after 6, but its okay, not knowing is a blessing. I love my job because first, it doesnt intefere my life, second it helps in supporting my hobbies.

my after work hours are when I got to be free in doing the things I love, back home, straight to the shower, after isyak, is my playground. If I’m kinda motivated, i’ll study for my korean. If im less motivated, i’ll take other fun alternatives, to read korean novels/poems. or if lesser than that, i’ll just watch youtubes. sometimes, I even got sick of korean i’ll switch to english. cause, my grammar too is rolling downhill. english is not by studying ofcourse, i’ll watch vlogs on youtube. particularly, british ones. i dont like american accent so much so no thank you. not that i have any negative thoughts about it but i just dont like the sound of it.

anyway, other than that, if you dont know me much, i love hanbin, i’ll go on twitter to have updates of him, or maybe if he’s online, i’ll talk to him. in korean, win win. i got to learn too. then maybe listen to his songs. or idk, anything related to him really. is what i enjoy doing lol.

there’s something about him…, ok anyway moving on.

ah, i am not that productive as you think i am, i too have days when i am too lazy to do anything. usually its on bad days. i just lay on my bed with my phones. ugh i hate it. i hate playing my phone so much. one day, i was on my phone the whole day, i literally consumed it, till I felt so so so tired and in a bad mood at the end of day. I really am trying to combat my phone addiction nowadays so i reach out for books. or cooking shows on netflix. hear me out, even if its still on the screen, its not a scrolling motion. its the scrolling motion that i hate. its when i turn on kdramas is when you know i gave up social media. i dont even watch kdramas or movies. and now im watching a series called “celebrity”. exactly.

what was this post for again???

yeah, about my day, great weather, job’s done, had my llaollao that i craved while listening to my colleagues spoilling the Barbie movie, home to my family, im reading Vivy yusof’s book (she’s so funny) lended by my lovey colleague, listened to some jazz lol (blame hanbin), and writing here! thats what i consider a great day.

so, Alhamdulillah for everything. i hope you guys too are having a great day. may Allah ease everything. may Allah bless you. remember Allah in every steps. Be grateful and make zikir! and have a perfect perfect day everyday! 🐥

ps: sanum, blueberries and any other fruits, kitkat bites and any other crunchies, and ovalmaltine as a topping, the best llaollao combination ever. thank me later. msg me if you need a 15% off code.

[bbiya131]

just when i said its the last game, was when i actually became good at it?

i was playing minesweeper before bed, and as you know, the game is very morish, (i dont know if i can use that word for a game) but you just cant stop playing it. its a great game to play on train trips though (do zikir guys, its better). i loveeee that game, it really uses up all of my brain cells.

anyway, i was playing this game before bed, and as it got addicting, i said “ok, if i lose this time, im going to bed”, and right at the moment, was when i got to clear so many levels?? i was so good it doesnt stop, i didnt lose until like minutes later.

haha, nice try brain. which one are you, are you still active that you dont want to sleep so youre suddenly rolling well?? or do you want me to stop and hit the bed? you dont want to sleep, do you brain. looking at the time, well its not my bed time yet. and im not that tired.

i think its one of the brain tricks psychology thing.

hear me out, i really love my brain. it moves fast. i think a lot. i think fast. i learn fast. alhamdulillah. i sometimes got shocked with my thinking skills(?) lol. but BUT. i am so bad at spellings, i tend to mixed up letters, and i am bad at remembering names. sometimes, im too fast that i make mistakes a lot.

have you ever wonder how does this thoughts even work? like? how does brain ACTUALLY work? thoughts are invincible, and how does? brain? sort and arrange and manage thoughts?? subhanallah. its so great and magnificent Allah’s creation is. its just mind blowing. i didnt even mention feelings yet.

indeed its true that you dont have to go so far to find the signs of Allah, when you can start with the things within yourself.

so…yea.

[bbiya131]

이 공계를 유지지 못팔 이유는:

1. 생각은 많긴 많은데 단지 생각이고 깊지가 않는다.

2. 많이 쓰라고 하기엔 머리속에 숙제처럼 생겨 매순간 어떤 글을 쓰면 좋을까 어떤 글을 쓸까 고민하게 된다. 방해 되었다고 생각함

3. 뭐 쓸까 하는 순간부터 쓸 글을 건성으로 억지로 나올 것이다.

지금 이것을 쓰는 시간도 북잡하다고요.

reasons why i think i cant maintain this acc:

1. my thoughts are many but they are merely thoughts, its not deep.

2. because i have set my head to write, my head just turn its “write write write” switch on. it keeps bothering me every single second.

3. the fact that i am thinking of what to write, is when the posts are gonna be so forceful and half-heartedly put out.

i am tired even right now, when im writing this post.

앞으로도 보담 없이 많이는 써놓을 수 있으면은 좋겠다.

i hope i can write freely after this.

[bbiya131]

Studio Ghibli characters animation.

[bbiya131]

writing is my passion

hi, im thinking of making a blog. because all of this social media shiftings is making me sick. not to mention the amount of ads ive been shoved to everyday. just when i thought the tv ads were annoying back then because it took at least 5 minutes and I cant skip, this is much worse. at least i have my toilet or drinking time.

i see ads every 3 tweets and ended up having an endless list of blocked accounts. people are trying to daylight rob me, in this economy. really man?

fair enough. they know how much of a impulsive buyer i am. but, what they dont know is, i am a very skeptical person. you wont see me being blinded by your stupid promotions, and your sketchy looking products.

ok i dont know where i am going with this post.

point is, i am thinking of going back to blogs. but, i am not sure. is tumblr a better place? who uses blogs now? and seriously, who uses tumblr now? if they do, most likely gonna be a weirdo. no offend. i use tumblr sometimes too.

so this is my first ever writing here. you may find me only reblogging before, i'll try to write more. lets hope this is not the last one.

oh and.

내 한국어 갈수록 엄청 줄여 들고만 있기엔 한국어로 좀 (멋지게) 써내릴까 함. 능력시험도 좀좀 다가오기 때문에 공부 하는김에 하는게 좋겠지. 또는, 한국 소설을 많이 읽다 보니 와 역시 저 젊은이나 일반 사람들의 선택해서 사용하는 어휘나 맡투와 달리 한층 더 독보적이고 매력적이고 감성 깊게 한다는것에 싹 빠지고 있단다. 이상해 보일 듯 공공 장소에 잀어서는 절대 안 될 정도로 웃기기도 함. 그들과 따라 해보고자 여기에 노력이라도 해보겠습니다. 이거야....첫이자 마지막 ��이기 바라며

그럼이만.

#일기 #diary

[bbiya131]

"티끌 모아 태산이라는 속담이라.. 티끌이 태산되기 전에 인간들이 먼저 죽을 확률이 훨씬 높을 텐데.."

#속담

[bbiya131]

[bbiya131]

~기(가) 이를 데 없다

This is used to express that the state of something is so extraordinary or excessive that it cannot be conveyed in words. “이를 데” comes from the verb 이르다 (to tell), and can be understood as 말할 데. Literally it means “it is so ____ that you can’t describe it.” It is used only with a descriptive verb. note: the 가 is often dropped. 큰 배우가 떠나 아쉽기(가) 이를 데 없다. A famous actor’s death is so sad that it can’t be described. 그는 꼼꼼하기가 이를 데 없는 사람이었어요. He’s incredibly meticulous. 벚꽃 축제라서 사람들이 너무 많아서 붐비기 이를 데 없다 It was the cherry blossom festival and there were so many people that it was indescribably crowded.

[bbiya131]

[bbiya131]

[bbiya131]

B.I KILLING VERSE