amjcpvr

[amjcpvr]

Yo this rules and is genuinely uplifting

[amjcpvr]

It’s been months.

It’s been months and yet I can’t forget you.

I can’t forget the way you looked at me, the way you made me feel, your kind words, gentle caresses, warm heat.

I can’t forget you.

The crazy thing is, I’m 99% sure that if you had asked me to marry you, I would’ve said yes. I would’ve said absolutely, I can’t picture myself with anyone else. I can’t imagine being in anyone else’s arms. I can’t imagine another father to my kids.

And I’m insane.

I don’t know if you’ve found someone new. I blocked you everywhere so you wouldn’t tempt me. And now I’m dying of curiosity and delusions.

Im insane for thinking that you still think of me. Because the truth is, if you wanted to come back to Me, you already would’ve. You would’ve fought for me like hell, and I would’ve let you back in my life in a heartbeat. I would’ve hugged you and kissed you and made love to you everyday.

I would tell you how afraid I was that I had lost you forever and how happy I am that I didn’t.

I would make sure you felt like the happiest man alive. And I’d try my best to never lose you again.

Instead I am here. Afraid, delusional, and lonely. Afraid because I lost you forever. Delusional, still picturing us together and wondering if you’ll ever come back. And lonely because without you, no matter how many people are around me, I feel all alone.

I just want closure. Whether that is seeing you holding someone else tomorrow, or meeting up for coffee to catch up 10 years from now. Or maybe i just want to see you.

Or maybe I’m just insane. I truly do not know anymore.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

Te lo voy a decir en español para que no entiendas pero la verdad si te extraño. Yo se que tienes cosas que te importan más porque son más importantes pero yo a cada rato pienso en ti. Desafortunadamente yo creo que tu no sientes lo mismo pero si si, por favor déjame saberlo. Siento que no acabamos de conocernos. Aún no sabes cosas de mi y también yo de ti. Quiero saber si te gusta el invierno, cual es tu favorito lego, desde cuando te empezaron a gustar las latinas, cual fue tu historia más chistosa de trabajar en McDonalds, cual es tu peor pesadilla, o tú película favorita (aparte de Star Wars), te gusta cocinar? cocinamos algo juntos? Haz ido a mamá Inés? Haz probado el esquite (si no para ir ahorita mismo)? Puedo ver donde te marcaron en las pompis? Puedo darte mil besos cuando despiertes aunque estes enojado? Puedes prender las luces de tu troca y textear me “polics” cuando estes detrás de mi una vez más? Ahora si puedo conocer a tu mamá? Quieres conocer a mi familia? Y si otra vez nos ponemos a ver las estrellas En un parque donde hay muchos mosquitos? O nos vamos pa mi casa a ver una película y platicar. Te puedo ver a los ojos hasta que mis ojos lloren de tan feliz que estoy junto a ti? Muchas cosas quisiera saber de ti pero en la que más pienso es: aún me piensas? Porque yo si. Y quiero que lo sepas, porque si tal vez llegas a sentir lo mismo que yo, quiero que sepas que yo también te extraño.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

To the one who got away.

They say you meet your soulmate before you even turn 21. So I guess you were mine and I wasn’t yours. I should’ve known. It came so easy to me. Loving you was so incredibly easy. Since the moment I met you, I just knew. I could see us in the future. You and me, together. We’d have three kids, you would be such a good dad. And I hate myself. I will hate myself everyday because it was my fault. I lost you, and you knew your worth. I should’ve been more thoughtful, more caring, more understanding. That’s the least that you deserve. So in a way, I’m happy you moved on. You deserve better than I could ever offer you. But that doesn’t make it any easier. It’s not easy to stop loving you, at all. It’s hard. It’s been a long time since the last time we spoke, and I still long for you. I still think of you. I still think the universe will bring you back to me. Isn’t that silly? I wish you would just tell me you hate me. Maybe that would make it easier for me. Or maybe it’d make it even harder. I don’t know. All I know is that I miss you and I love you and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop. If I’ll ever be able to.

#to my ex #the one that got away #i miss you

[amjcpvr]

Hello,

Im writing this so I can maybe get the closure I need. I don’t know if I will ever send this to you, but if I do, I hope you don’t think badly of me.

First off, I will not apologize, nor am I expecting you to. This is just how life works. I truly believe you were my right person. I really do. But it was just the wrong time. You were stuck in a bad place and I wasn’t supportive enough. I was impatient and you didn’t have the energy to fight, rightfully so. So I let you go, before you could let me go. Although, I was already too far gone.

I know it’s stupid, we weren’t anything. We didn’t finish getting to know each other. But I felt something different with you than I ever have with anyone else, to this day still. You were the first guy whom I didn’t feel the need to lie and exaggerate your kind gestures to my friends and sisters about. Everything I told them was completely true and sincere. You really were a gentleman, funny, and kind. You were protective, manly, and outgoing.

The thought and care you gave me is worth more than anything physical I could ever receive. The thought you would put into our dates, no matter how cringey and dumb you thought they seemed, I enjoyed them a lot. And the care you gave me every second we were together did not go unnoticed.

I don’t ever want to forget you, no matter what. You showed me what I truly crave and want in a relationship. What I deserve and what I like, you taught me all that. So, even if it were to end the same way, I’d do it again. Except I would cherish every moment even more.

I wish you, your family, and your friends the best in everything. My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you. Please always be safe and take care of yourself. If we ever meet again, I would love to hear about what you’ve accomplished, because I know there’ll be a lot of things on the list.

Sincerely,

August 1, 2023

#to my ex #to future me

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (68/68)

I loved you, Liam.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (67/68)

Even if I'm not the one by your side.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (66/68)

I truly wish you the best in everything you do.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (65/68)

Well, here's proof of how much I can't.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (64/68)

My dumbass thought I could handle it.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (63/68)

You warned me from the start.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (62/68)

I knew it would end.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (61/68)

Even if I got hurt in the process.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (60/68)

I wish you would've let me be selfish.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (59/68)

I'd be with you.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (58/68)

In a perfect world, I would not be sad right now.

#to my ex

[amjcpvr]

TILTSTMEBKIS (57/68)

We're happy.

#to my ex