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aidoneuswrites · 4 months

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"𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒, 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒"

ㅡ cw: pre kenjaku , hurt comfort, panic attack

ㅡ a/n: commission request from my friend, i hope you guys enjoy !

The life of a sorcerer was never easy and anyone to talk as if it was, never had been a true sorcerer. It was a demanding and life-sucking job. To some it was what got them out of bed in the morning, their own motivation to keep going and to grow for themselves and those around them. It was a badge of honor in which they held high on their chest. That feeling of promise and responsibility to help the cities less fortunate. Being a sorcerer was like being a hero and as all the shows and comics will show you, the hero holds the biggest grin of pride on their face. They never ask for words of gratitude. Never ask for anything in return other than a promise to be safe or more cautious in the future.

But is that truly fair ?

Why is it that those blessed with the power and strength of a sorcerer have to lower themselves to those of the unfortunate. They’re not special and yet we treat them as if they deserve anything and everything. So when do we draw the line ? When will it be us sorcerers turn to benefit ?

The hands of justice and shitty reality tugged back and forth at the dark haired student as he sit at the edge of his bed.

EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISE . . .

Was this truly all he was good for ? Is this going to be his life over and over again ? An endless cycle of putrid disgusting curses being consumed by him and only him. All that weight weighing on his shoulders as he continues to lose himself physically and mentally. When will it all wash away from the sorcerer's mind just as he washes away the exorcized souls that are consistently digested.

Will this path curse him as well ?

Scattered around his room were clothes in disarray, half empty soba noodle cups, sticky half finished vending machine coffee cans that, all together, emitted a rather muggy and sour smell encasing the small space. But to Geto, did it truly matter what was or was not in the room ? It’s not like he would be around much longer.

After his talk with Yuki he was sure he knew what needed to be done. Sure he would miss Shoko and Satoru, but for the better of the curse society ties needed to be cut. Even more so they weren’t even here or have the knowledge of what’s going on.

Once again Geto was being pulled by rationality. A part of him didn’t want to leave. Didn’t want to go down the path of a true “only sorcerers” society. Maybe things would change for the better. Maybe it would get easier just after it got worse. It has to. Because if it doesn’t - if this is truly how life will go is there ever going to be a just world to live in ?

The tugs of justice and reality turned into heavy pulls. The sorcerer's mind was spinning into chaos as tears filled his eyes. As some false sense of stopping the spiral the Geto gripped tufts of hair into each hand and yanked down, the mental weight of it all forcing him to fall to his knees. Chest tightening as his entire body began to tremble and a wave of nauseating chills encased him. A numbness spread to his fingertips as his grip tightened. The sorcerers breathing became sporadic as he inhaled the familiar revolting smell of his room. It felt like he was once again ingesting yet another rotten soul. Flashbacks flickered in his mind.

EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISEINGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISEINGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISEINGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISEINGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISEINGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISEINGEST EXORCISE INGEST EXORCISE.

An anguished cry belted out of Geto, tears rushing down his face letting any and all emotions that were once forced down, out for no one see. No one to hear, but him. In only seconds Suguru knew no one was left to help, no one to steer him away from the hollow-hearted path that is probable to come and yet a part of him wished - god he so desperately wished - that his ivory haired companion would burst through that door and embrace him. Embrace him the way he always craved, yet never yearned to reach out for. An embrace so strong and unyielding that would wash away all evil from his mind. All to be left would just be him.

Them .

Pessimism rotted his brain.

But how could someone like me ask for something so undeserving.

A doomed siren call of yearning. Every part of the sorcerers soul wanted, needed , Satoru. As if without him the air within his lungs would deplete and there would be nothing but a husk left of Suguru.

Without a black sheep how could one truly distinguish the golden sheep. Without darkness there would be light.

Above all else, without Satoru there would be no Suguru.

As torment plagued his mind everything fell silent. Only a low hum echoed his brain as the floor conjured and twisted below him. He was truly spiraling out of his own control.

Because of his own clouded state, it never brought to his attention that he wasn’t alone.

Stood in front of him was a pair of slick, low heel shoes that were custom to the school.

“. . .ru..”

“ Oi. . . guru..”

The hum soon began to die out.

“ Suguru. . .?”

The familiar voice eventually made it to his ears. Along with the audible voice, Suguru realized he was face to face with him as well. Two arms stretched out as they held his shoulders. In a daze Geto could make out the face of his ivory haired friend. What usually lied on his face was that stupid smile, but a new one took its place. His friends eyes were furrowed and pupils shaky as they darted back and forth to follow his own. As if he was trying to search for an answer in his eyes. An answer to all the screaming, the purposeful seclusions, to the empty promises he had given him when asked if everything was alright.

It wasn’t and it hasn’t been for a while, but was that really all so bad?

“ Suguru what happened? I heard you scream. What the hell is going on !” Gojo burst out in alarm. Maybe now wasn’t the best time to raise his voice, but something wasn’t right. Something needed to happen and now .

His throat was torn from earlier. Any word that followed came out warn and fading. The urge to collapse and let everything take over, was seeming like the easiest solution to it all. To just let go.

His body felt heavy and dead, at this point he was just a walking corpse. But every time his mind would come back to reality all he would see was him . Somehow that made everything just a little better. It gave him hope, but it also crushed him.

“I. . .cant” weakly words of defeat poured out from his lips. There was plenty to look at in the mess of his room, anything but his eyes. The look of pity on everyone's face once you finally spew out admittance to your flaws and fears.

They’re all the same.

Satoru was now sitting on the floor across from his friend. He knew that the words would form eventually, just a matter of when. All he could do was be there for him at this moment.

Reaching his hand out to the tired friend, Satoru placed it atop of his. A form of reassurance to show that he wasn’t alone and he never will be.

Upon the contact a feeling of disgust insued through Suguru’s body. A wave of anger and resentment flooded his brain. Not to the person before, but to himself.

This wasn’t right! He shouldn’t be here! Why is he here?

Though part of him longed for the situation, the part that revolted at it grew stronger. He could overcome this on his own, without Satoru.

DENIAL.

“Don’t touch me!” his arm flung as he slapped the gentle hand away from his own.

He felt bad for everything he did and what he’s about to do but, according to the raven haired sorcerer, this is how it should be.

“Don’t you understand that I don’t want your help? I never did!” his face twisted with anger and sorrow. Suguru couldn’t stop the words that spilled from his mouth. He wanted nothing more than to leap into his arms, never letting go. To tell him any and every concern, to finally rid himself of the rot that lay dormant in his brain.

To be free of it all. But that was never what Gojo was made for. He knew he couldn’t lay it all on him. In a kind world Suguru could speak of all his troubles and be heard, really heard. He could find a path that would make this seemingly wrongful world just feel a little bit better. A world where he could stay with Satoru side by side until the end of time. Together they were the strongest.

And yet here I sit pushing all of it away.

“You wrong.” Satoru’s voice was deep and grave. Deep down he knew something was going on with his friend, but even the strongest can be rather dull when it comes to reading emotions. Suguru’s weight loss was the first sign, then the restlessness, until eventually he became distant all at once. Guilt embedded into the before speaking sorcerer. The signs became so obvious and the solutions even more so. He could have stopped this before it became how it was now.

“I wasn’t there when you needed me most. . .” he began. Opposing his friend's demand, he leaned into Suguru’s shaking body, embracing him like he should have done before. Something he’s been yearning to do for years.

“But I’m here now. So please. .” guilty tears began to stain his skin. “.. please let me shoulder your troubles and misery too.”

It would be so easy to push away everything. To give everything up at Jujutsu Tech and lead a path of solitude. So easy to turn a blind eye to sentiment and justice. All it would take was one foot out the door who was once more waving its maledictive beckoning hand.

The cold calloused hands of the cursed society held a path of disarray and loneliness, something Suguru felt is the only place he truly belonged. But a flower can not thrive in the dark. It requires care, warmth, and love - something Jujutsu Tech, Satoru, and Shoko all provided.

And yet why does this now wilting flower want to walk into the cruel clutches of the neverending dark?

Lost eyes met with the hopeful blue ones before him as one last final call for help.

“Satoru. . .I’m terrified of what I’m becoming.”

ADMITTANCE.

The time finally came for the damaged flower to outstretch its roots before it wilts away for good.

With a torn voice Suguru spoke his final words of plea.

“Save me, Satoru.”

As the sun set the moon rose, engulfing the once scattered room in a faint glow. On a newly made bed lay two sorcerers, two friends, comrades, lovers . A gentle breeze escaped the window brushing through their hair and with a gentle hand the ivory haired boy tucked his partner's hair off his face. Like waves in the night's ocean their bodies rose and fell as a feeling of calm settled over them.

A vow between soulmates was made that night.

To save one is to save the other.

Without Satoru Gojo there would be no Suguru Geto.

Without Suguru Geto there would be no Satoru Gojo.

And just as the sun always sets, the moon will always rise.

#jjk #satosugu #geto suguru #jjk geto #gojo satoru #angst with a happy ending #light angst #hurt/comfort #jjk angst #jjk hurt/comfort #commission open #commission #comms #anime #writing commissions

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