afacetedgem

[afacetedgem]

median culture is sending asks anonymously here only to reblog them on your own blog

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#I didnt submit this ask #but at least one other i reblogged i did #reblog

[afacetedgem]

Plural egg culture is seeing an activity you're good at, knowing you have to do it but not really feeling The Correct Vibe for it. And also not knowing How to achieve The Correct Vibe so you just wait for it to happen naturally

Giant mood, we did this so often before our syscovery

#reblog

[afacetedgem]

Questioning median culture is wondering if you actually have alters/facets or if you're just trying to personify your moods

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#reblog

[afacetedgem]

median culture is knowing you aren't the same person you were a few minutes ago but not feeling like a distinct separate person or knowing if you've been this person before

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#reblog

[afacetedgem]

Confused median culture is not knowing if you have intrusive thoughts or it's a facet or fragment or normal thoughts

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#reblog

[afacetedgem]

What does DID look like for someone who has no idea they have it?

lots and lots of confusion and denial! some examples:

they'll obviously have all the symptoms, but instead of knowing that they're attributed to trauma, parts, and dissociation, it's very confusing and many people feel like they're going crazy

amnesia is often glossed over or purposefully ignored ("i just have a bad memory", "i drink too much and it makes me forget", etc)

lots of excuses about part behaviour ("doesn't everyone act like a kid when their favourite childhood show comes on though...?")

attributing things that in hindsight are obviously DID to thinks like the supernatural, imaginary friends, religious experiences, magic, demon or spirit possession, hypnotism, an overactive imagination etc

thinking everyone has these kinds of experiences, not realising that they're not universal

attributing symptoms to other disorders (especially BPD, substance use, bipolar disorder, seizure disorders, traumatic brain injuries, psychosis) or gender dysphoria (or otherkinity/therianthropy even)

remembering only some of the trauma, but thinking that that's all of it

feeling ashamed at their strange, inexplicable behaviour, and being unable to account for it

Here is another post on recognising signs of DID in hindsight.

#🤔🤔🤔 #reblog

[afacetedgem]

How do I know if I'm going to the headspace or daydreaming? I went to my room and opened the door, at first it was going between different places like a meadow and space but then the rest of the house started to load and I walked into a completely different room with Tears. Totally empty like someone had just moved in. I was able to change things around like my outfit or what was outside the window which seems more like a daydream to me. I couldn't understand what Tears was saying. It was like it was garbled or another language. Which could mean she's fake? Like as soon as I was conciously not putting words in her mouth there were none. Or it's some kind of barrier. Genuinely can't tell if I'm imagining the whole thing or nah. It's an interesting exercise, either way.

[afacetedgem]

She will Not freaking Leave. I have given up on my headspace room for now. I still can't tell if I just pictured her randomly once and it became a pattern in my brain or she's a real alter or facet who wants some kind of attention or just wants to keep me out of headspace or what. I think if there's another layer to my system they actively Want to keep me frontstuck and out of the headspace if it exists. It's probably for a reason if so. Or maybe I'm imagining a ton of random shit idk.

Every time I try to picture my headspace (just a room rn) this little blue haired girl shows up. Trying to find a picrew that lets me make her, this one isn't exactly right. Most picrews are teens so I haven't found a lot of child ones. IDK why I keep seeing her. I don't know if she's a facet or alter and actually showing up in headspace, or if I just randomly imagined her once and so when I try to picture my headspace room she just showed up again because I remembered the previous times. A while ago I found a list of facets I wrote when I was 16. I don't really remember writing it and I have not heard from any of them since. But I think this may be Tears? She is described as "6, scared. Been hurt bad. Quiet, alone. A little girl. Asexual/straight." Hard to say though.

[afacetedgem]

Every time I try to picture my headspace (just a room rn) this little blue haired girl shows up. Trying to find a picrew that lets me make her, this one isn't exactly right. Most picrews are teens so I haven't found a lot of child ones. IDK why I keep seeing her. I don't know if she's a facet or alter and actually showing up in headspace, or if I just randomly imagined her once and so when I try to picture my headspace room she just showed up again because I remembered the previous times. A while ago I found a list of facets I wrote when I was 16. I don't really remember writing it and I have not heard from any of them since. But I think this may be Tears? She is described as "6, scared. Been hurt bad. Quiet, alone. A little girl. Asexual/straight." Hard to say though.

[afacetedgem]

Is there currently any active system confession or advice blog?

#osdd #system #plural #sysblr #plural community

[afacetedgem]

Plegg culture is when prompted by a psychiatrist to describe yourself you say "a person with diverse interests, stances and opinions which sometimes even contradict each other..."

I wonder why.

It's a multi-dimensional mystery!

#reblog

[afacetedgem]

median culture is going back and forth between identifying as a median system and as a singlet several times and not feeling like either entirely fits

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#reblog

[afacetedgem]

millennial median culture is feeling ridiculous and fake for not having a coherent identity or sense of self at your age and feeling out of place in median spaces/general plural spaces because everyone is bodily so much younger

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#reblog

[afacetedgem]

blinkies I made with blinkies cafe

#osdd-1a #traumagenic median #median #monoconscious #median system #blinkies #gif #eyestrain #flashing gif #made this blog to bypass journalling being a Blocked Action #but decided I'll tag some things cuz theres so little rep of this type of system #especially older (and older in system spaces seems to be 25+) #i guess i should explain what a blocked action is... #its hard to explain but a form of autistic inertia i experience

[afacetedgem]

plegg culture is constantly cycling through genders/sexualities and being like "why do I get uncomfortable with my identity labels so often??"

(For reference before system discovery we identified as a lesbian, pan, trans man, nonbinary, gay man, transfem, and many more in between LOL)

And if you don't cycle through them, it's often because you end up on -flux, -fluid, or abro labels. Gotta find something to describe why your labels change so often!

#reblog

[afacetedgem]

Plegg culture is never being able to decide how you want to act and who you want to be because one day you want So bad to be a rogueish pirate, the next an alluring vampire, another a hard-boiled noir detective, a cottagecore baker, an eccentric artist, an adventurous thief, an angry punk, and on and on and on. And you're always like "well I cant be ALL of those things!!"

Big mood. The biggest mood, in fact.

#reblog

[afacetedgem]

Found this old median ask meme from a few years ago while looking through random older blogs for info on median systems. Decided to fill it out more like a questionnaire to try to... work things out. Reminder that not all questions may apply to (all or some of) you, so answering N/A is super valid! Headmates/aspects/personalities/facets/etc. will be referred to as “parts” here.  1. Is anyone fronting right now? If so who?

Mila/Quartz hybrid

2. How many parts do you have?

Uhhh no idea. Not sure if it's a lot (like hundreds+) or if it's just a few that are constantly shifting and changing

3. What is/are your name(s)?

Mila, Quartz, and Mia have names. Quartz is like the "default" self. Mila is the teen. Mia is the little. That's moreso how I can easily translate it to the external world then how it actually is internally. We're kind of just sorting it by age right now.

4. What is/are your age(s)?

Quartz is 29, our chronological age, but sometimes feels more early 20s. Mila is around 13-18 but usually 15. Mia is like... anywhere from 2-12.

5. What is/are your gender(s)?

Mia and Mila mostly use she/her and Quartz is more they/them but is okay with she/her. But we do not actually care what pronouns are used. Gender itself... tend to say genderqueer woman but it's confusing.

6. What is/are your sexuality(ies)?

Quartz - queer. Mila - queer or bi. Mia - n/a.

7. What is the relationship between your parts?

Don't know how to describe

8. Do you ever find all/none parts fronting at the same time/feel “whole”/can’t tell who is fronting?

I wouldn't say all front at once. Can never tell for sure what's going on.

9. Would your parts share partners?

Mia doesn't want a partner. Mila would only date another facet in a median system the same age as her who is bodily over 25. It's a very specific unlikely situation and not a priority. Quartz wants a partner and all parts within Quartz would date together.

10. What triggers (happy or otherwise) bring out your parts?

Fatigue, stress, bad stuff happening can bring out Mila or Mia. Or if something they like is around.

11. Do you feel like your parts adhere to typical roles?

Not really I don't think.

12. Do you consider yourself an endo system, a trauma system, both, or neither?

Traumagenic. We understood ourselves as faceted due to trauma specifically long before having the language for it.

13. Have you been diagnosed with/think you have some sort of mental illness that relates?

CPTSD would be the main one. I'm autistic but idk how it'd relate here, other then being abused for it. ADHD can cause memory issues and interests that change a lot and I think dissociation and ADHD are both causing those things to happen at the same time, making it worse.

I haven't been diagnosed with but experience DPDR constantly. I have considered ADHD, DPDR, and BPD as possible explanations for my experiences. However multiple professionals have said I definetely do not have BPD (as I only have identity issues and dissociation, not the other symptoms) and neither ADHD or DPDR together or in combination seems to be a complete explanation.

I suspect I may have OSDD-1a, but I guess it could be DID and I'm not aware of the more distinct alters. I feel like I would have noticed them by now? IDK. I forget things a LOT but I've never been sure what the normal amount to forget stuff is so IDK if I have enough amnesia for OSDD-1a, but definetely not distinct enough for OSDD-1b. IDK what people who are not distinct enough for 1b but don't have enough amnesia for 1a but who obviously have issues related to dissociation get diagnosed with. UDD?

14. Do you consider yourself/yourselves “a system” or as “having multiplicity/being multiple” or do you feel closer to a singlet?

IDK. I use different terms to describe myself at different times. I usually use singular pronouns out of habit even though it doesn't feel right.

15. How much control do you feel like you have over your parts?

I can't tell. Sometimes I feel like my body does stuff without me but idk if it's regular losing control due to emotions or someone else doing things.

16. Are your parts you?

Yes they are all parts of me, dissociated to a greater or lesser extent.

17. What’s the funniest switch you’ve ever had?

I don't know.

18. What’s the worst switch you’ve ever had?

I don't know.

19. Can you control switching/who is fronting?

A little. I can bring out Mila or Mia more if an activity they enjoy is available.

20. Do you have a “host” or “core” part?

Quartz is like a default state and I can always access "adultness" if needed

21. If you’re comfortable sharing, why do you think you are median/a median system?

It's the closest term I've found to how my mind works. Understanding myself as median feels better then forcing myself into a singlet identity, as the cognitive dissonance becomes really distressing.

22. What’s been the hardest thing for your parts to agree on?

lol everything I guess

23. Have you ever had to change what you’re doing or wearing or eating or listening to because you’ve switched?

Had to? no. I just wanted to.

24. Describe your parts.

Might have to come back to this one

25. Do you consider yourself m-spec or multigender on a whole if any of your parts have different sexualities/genders? Or do you prefer to treat each part as it’s own separate and not use umbrella labels for you all?

I don't really know. We all have the same gender just understand it in different ways I think.

26. What is each part’s favorite _____?

This one is broad might come back to it.

27. Do you feel welcome in system spaces?

As a whole, not really no. Especially because of my age. Everyone is so much younger. I'm sure there are a lot of 25+ systems out there but the spaces for them I've come across tend to be more DID-focused. I'm in a discord server dedicated to CDDs that I feel welcome in, and another more dedicated to mental health as a whole with a multiplicity channel that I like.

28. Were you ever a singlet/do you think you will ever be a singlet again?

I don't know. I first felt faceted at 15, but I think I was prior to that. I don't really want to be a singlet but I would feel more comfortable if I could have less but more distinct facets so I know who I am.

29. What’s the biggest misconception people have about (all of) you?

That we're singlet I guess. I've told very few people.

30. Free question, but please be respectful!

N/A since I'm not doing it as an ask meme.

People who clown on this post will be blocked.