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@stripedroseandsketchpads and @counterwiddershins​ requested a pendant to this post discussing female Hot Villains™ of early and classic film. Let it never be said that I was one to decline such an invitation. I’m going to include here some women whose villainous roles are lost or partially lost, because I like them.

First, foremost, iconic:

DIETRICH. Has anyone on screen ever attained the casually confident eroticism of that pose? I submit that they have not. That’s Der Blaue Engel, by the way, and she is die fesche Lola.

Louise Brooks, here as Lulu in Die Büchse der Pandora:

There’s so much going on here. This movie is so good.

Mae West, as mentioned in the first post (when she’s good, she’s good, but when she’s bad she’s better):

I honestly think her films are largely forgettable in the way that her performances aren’t.

Anna May Wong, often typecast as villains (racism), but very very good always:

She stars with Dietrich in Shanghai Express. Do I watch that movie mostly for Anna May Wong and Marlene Dietrich sharing a cabin and white-hot rage against male stupidity? Possibly.

Pola Negri:

Here she is provoking small-town American outrage in “A Woman of the World.” I love pre-Code movies. You can find her alongside Basil Rathbone (!) in “A Woman Commands.” And here she is singing a tango.

Theda Bara, arguably THE vamp. She played both Salome and Cleopatra, and I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions. She also delivered this iconic line:

So now you know why that turns up in later musicals, parodied.

I’m also going to mention (as in the previous post) Barbara Stanwyck, who frequently played morally ambiguous characters, as in “The Bitter Tea of General Yen”:

In this role, she embodied what the NYT (decades later) called an “outré, fragrantly perverse erotic/philosophical conversion.” Hello.

Lastly, of course, how could I not include the woman who played Mata Hari?

GARBO. Like Dietrich, she deserves all caps in my head (and heart.) Barthes famously wrote that her face aroused “mystical feelings of perdition.” Go off, Roland Barthes.

Please enjoy these sexy villains and their cheekbones.

[aesthetic-vaporwave-bitch]

dating joe mazzello (and being younger than him) would include...

a/n: it’s my first headcanon, so tell me what you think!!

warnings: some implied smut

you would meet somewhere in new york and hit it off instantly

you go for a few dates when you realise your feelings are growing 

so you distance yourself from him

cause you think it wouldn’t last long as you are twelve years younger than him

but you think about him every second 

you even cried once thinking about a future you wouldn’t have together

but one night he shows up with your favourite flowers and food at your doorstep

“i can’t stop thinking about you”

“can’t stop doing that too, joe”

so you too kiss passionately 

then you spend all night sitting on your couch and talking

you find yourself in his arms when the dawn breaks

“i don’t wanna ever let you go”

you start dating

casually, at first

just going to the movies, cooking together, going for romantic strolls, making out in his car, going grocery shopping, meeting each other’s families

having sex all the time

well not that casually i guess

he’s always making fun of you when you don’t know something

like

“guess they don’t teach that things in kindergarten”

“right, you’re too young to know that”

“you weren’t even born when it was invented”

and you strike back

“you didn’t play tim in jurrasic park. you played the dinosaur”

“and why’s that?”

“cause you are really old”

the realtionship with joe totally consist of you giggling and being happy all the time

and screaming very often too

then he has to leave to another part of the country to star in a new movie

that’s when you feel you don’t want to be apart ever again

but you can’t go with him due to obvious reasons

“you can go with me and live in my trailer”

“joe, i’ll get fired”

“that’s good! you hate your job”

“i don’t hate the money though”

the night before he leaves you two have the most mindblowing sex

not once

so he is really sleepy and tired when you get to the airport

“you can still go with me. i bought you a ticket anyways”

“god, joe, i love you so much”

that’s the first time you say that

and you happen to be the first to do so 

so joe kisses you deeply and you feel him smiling

“i love you too, you know”

the next day you see pictures of you two kissing at the airport

somehow people manage to find your instagram and facebook pages

and start commenting hurtful stuff

(we all know such people exist, yikes)

so you delete your facebook and make your instagram private

joe’s comforting you over the phone all the time

even though people comment stupid things on his page too

your friends telling you to get over it

because what you have with joe is much more important than some jealous idiots

so you gain some confidence

and now you comfort joe over the phone

phone sex included

“i’m wearing that lingerie you bought me. do you mind if i take it off?”

‘jesus christ, y/n”

he never stops comforting you though

during the second month of facetiming, texting and calling each other you get tired of being apart for that long

so you take the money you’ve saved and buy a ticket to see joe

he can’t keep his hands off you after you too reunite

he can barely make it through the day of shooting without touching you

so at midnight, when you two finally come to his trailer, you kiss needy and desperately

there’s almost no foreplay

you just terribly need each other

so you have the most romantic and passionate sex

you both don’t last long

but it’s certainly worth it

when you’re lying on his bed cuddling and he’s tracing circles on your skin

and you kiss his lips softly

he can’t help but smile

because he has found the love of his life

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