aenkamelie

[aenkamelie]

Geralt: What are you doing up in that tree?

Jaskier: Eating pears

Yennefer: But that's an apple tree!

Jaskier: Well, I brought my own pears!

#jaskier #geralt of rivia #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: *looking in the mirror with long hair* Do I look ugly gay like that?

Ciri: Geralt has longer hair and he's not gay.

Geralt: Yes I am, but not because I have long hair.

#geralt x jaskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia #witcher geralt #ciri and jaskier #cirilla of cintra #cirilla fiona elen riannon

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: Hey Geralt! I just met some amazing people, although the only problem is that they're too organized....

Geralt: That's a fucking cult, Jaskier!

#geralt x jaskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia

[aenkamelie]

Dick is the best father

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: Are You okey?

Geralt: Yeah... *Looking at the sky with anger*

Jaskier: It doesn't seem like it *looking at the sky too*

Roach: *Above the roof of a house*

Jaskier: I'll bring the apples...

#geralt x jaskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia #witcher geralt #roach

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: I don't want to cook today... I wish someone would do it for me...

Radovid: *Taking out his credit card* Pizza or sushi?

#jaskier #jaskier x radovid #radovid

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier was Geralt's practice child to be a father

Geralt accidentally developing Dad Humor, even when he wasn't actively invested in or looking for Ciri- it just happens by rule of the universe

like this,

Jaskier falls from a tree, off a small ledge, down a short hill

Jask: Geraaaalt, I've hurt my leg!

Geralt: sigh, fine. Let me look

...hmm...

Geralt: we'll have to amputate

Jaskier: GERALT

-one more-

Jaskier: EUGH- Geralt! There's a nasty bug on my pillow

Geralt: let me see...ah, it's a brain sucker

Jask: brain sucker?!

Geralt: yes, don't worry

*he flips over and lies down again*

Geralt: it starved

please please please, Geralt dad humor

[aenkamelie]

Radovid taking advantage of the slightest fight between Geralt and Jaskier to make them finish and be able to stay with the bard.

Radovid: *approaching Jaskier* And remember that in a relationship there will always be problems, problems that you will avoid if you were single.

Geralt: *Appearing* I already told you we're not going to break up!

Radovid: I still have hope!

#jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #radovid #radskier #jaskier x radovid

[aenkamelie]

This also applies to fanfic themes

all of it? all of it. I'll take all of it please

[aenkamelie]

-So then, would I be the lover if I go out with Jaskier?— asked the prince mockingly, —Since I am the one who has his nights and his passion?—

—You wouldn't be the lover since he and I are just friends—the witcher grumbled as he crossed his arms —He is free to sleep with whomever he wants.

—And yet it hurts you that I'm with him. — He moved a little closer to Geralt —You had your chance, warlock, now let me enjoy mine—

#jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier x radovid #radovid #radskier

[aenkamelie]

I literally can't imagine any Mitski song fitting Jaskier, he could write hundreds of scenarios where he at least has one verse as the centerpiece, Washing Machine Heart? Obviously after the mountain, Pearl: every time Jask saw Yenn with Geralt, Class 2013? A trauma from the past HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE WRITING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

*throw desk*

#jaskier #mitski

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: *calling Geralt*

Geralt: *answers* What's up lark?

Jaskier: Love! Geralt: Hey, hey... Remember when I said I felt sick to my stomach and was going to see the doctor?

Geralt: Humm, yeah, if it turned out to be a tapeworm?

Jaskier: Yeah well... *Looking at the obstetrics room* The worm is going to be six months old...

#geralt x jaskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia #mpreg mention #jaskier pregnant

[aenkamelie]

Geralt: Sometimes when I'm in trouble, he asks me what my mom would do? and i disappear

Jaskier: ... I pay you therapy

#geralt x jaskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia

[aenkamelie]

Ciri: Pa jaskier, would you judge women who like other women?

Jaskier: Why would I judge them if I like women too?

#jaskier #princess cirilla #ciri and jaskier

[aenkamelie]

AU High School:

Jaskier: *throwing himself on the bed dead asleep* I want to die....

Geralt: *not sleeping because of final exams* We're not that lucky....

#geralt x jaskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia #au: high school

[aenkamelie]

Me: *looking at Jaskier's shirt* Damn, that looks like something my grandmother would wear...

My beta: That's something my grandmother would use as decoration, you know, like a curtain or on her furniture.

[aenkamelie]

So canon...

Jaskier: is in reality easy

Geralt: We are all happy

Yennefer: We just want what's between your legs, don't feel so special

*Yennefer, Geralt, and Jaskier go to Aretuza for the first time*

Yennefer: This is my boyfriend Geralt, this is Geralt's boyfriend Jaskier

Triss: I'm sorry, what's the situation?

Yennefer: Geralt is gay, but he's straight for me but he's gay for Jaskier, and Jaskier is really gay for Geralt, and I hate Jaskier

Geralt: It's really not that complicated

Jaskier: No