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#santa clarita diet season 4 #anything for a fanific that would finish up santa clarita diet #ao3 #fanfic #poll #my polls #random polls

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an incomplete history of the sisterhood of the timothy olyphant quickdraw 

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Ok but a crossover between Santa Clarita Diet and Addams Family.

The seemingly most whitebread, normie couple in America moves in next door to the Addamses and their mansion of horrors.

Gamez and Morticia are friendly as always if a little confused by all the pastels and realtor signs. Joel and Sheila bring cookies and introduce themselves and try not to gawk at Lurch. Gomez invites them in, insisting they must meet his darling wife, and Joel, my boy, have you blown up a model train recently? It'll relieve all that tension in your shoulders! and Abby is absolutely intrigued and delighted by the bear rug and the disembodied hand and the daughter with the headless doll. Sheila has no idea what to talk about with Morticia so she rambles about how Morticia needs to tell her where she got that dress, and about how great their kids are.

Both couples walk away from the interaction thinking, "Well, they seem nice, but aren't they a little odd?" It's a pleasant if somewhat weird afternoon for the Hammonds and the Addamses.

Then, one day while all the kids are at school, Gomez and Morticia hear shrieking from the Hammonds' house. Not wanting to miss the fun, they rush over...

...and find the kitchen absolutely coated in blood, Sheila standing over a half-devoured corpse with more blood smeared around her mouth, and Joel already getting the mop out of the closet.

Joel and Sheila hear the door open and know they are screwed. There is no way they can say this isn't what it looks like, and, oh, God, they don't want to kill their new neighbors, living room guillotine aside they seem like really good people and Sheila was going to invite them to her book club-

And then they look over at Gomez and Morticia, and see two of the happiest, most delighted smiles in the world.

Boom.

Instant best friends.

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SANTA CLARITA DIET ⇢ 2x01 | NO FAMILY IS PERFECT

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Patrick Jane x Joel Hammond ~ I just love my chaotic male wife girl dads who drink to much "I love my wife" juice

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which is gayer being gay or whatever the fuck joel and rick from santa clarita diet have going on

bonus:

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We are gonna get that listing.

santa clarita diet, 3.02 - “knighttime”

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joel + sweets

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1.03 we can kill people → [random scd scenes 8//??] sheila: i leave you for five fucking minutes and you bond with my dinner? joel: we had a lot in common. sheila: yeah, you're both high.

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no multi option, agonize and choose, no results option, pick one to find out or scroll onward

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if you're wondering why THIS tiktok ban bill made it through the senate unlike last time...

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Day 26: Remove

Hangar 17B. As soon as I heard the chapter name I new shit was about to go down. I didnt want to depict cassius fnal moments too sad but I loved his fight and the death of atlas, I love it when Pierce describes fights to the move, you're in the action. Also yeah, bionicle feet.

The man who killed Fear

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SANTA CLARITA DIET + text posts

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Timothy Olyphant as Joel Hammond in Santa Clarita Diet (2017—2019)

#santaclaritadietedit #santa clarita diet #timothy olyphant

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i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

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@nestaarcheronweek | Day 05: Wolf

I've tasted blood and it is sweet

I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet

I've trusted lies and trusted men

Broke down and put myself back together again

Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters

Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger

I've pinched my skin in between my two fingers

And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors

[...]

I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night

That I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night

No, I won't smile, but I'll show you my teeth

And I'ma let you speak if you just let me breathe

I've been polite, but won't be caught dead

Lettin' a man tell me what I should do in my bed

Keep my exes in check in my basement

'Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent

I could play nice or I could be a bully

I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be

- Nightmare, by Halsey

In Silver Flames Cassian thinks Nesta was "a wolf who had never learned how to be a wolf, thanks to that cage humans called propriety and society. And like any maltreated animal, she bit anyone who came near", and I loved seeing Nesta finally getting out of that cage and becoming her true self in this book.

Thank you @/searland_art for bringing this stunning art to life! 

Art by: @/searland_art

Commissioned by: @melphss

Characters belongs to: Sarah J. Maas