acceptthecake

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Portal (2007) (x)

#serious injuries may occur ( environment ) #the cake is a lie ( aperture science )

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Welcome to Aperture Laboratories.

#serious injuries may occur ( environment )

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#serious injuries may occur ( environment )

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#serious injuries may occur ( environment )

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oh sorry i was thinking about myself did you want something

#someday we will look back on this and laugh ( personal )

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me: *destroys turret*

turret: I don’t hate you.

me:

#human communication ( ooc ) #portal 2 #[Or 'No hard feelings'] #[Every damn time] #[Guilt-tripped]

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#serious injuries may occur ( environment ) #the cake is a lie ( Aperture Science ) #someday we will look back on this and laugh ( personal )

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❛ Where do you think you are going with this? ❜

Time to throw @fasciinating a congratulatory party!

“CONGRATULATIONS! The final test is now over.”

       “I HONESTLY didn’t expect you to make it this far--

          “--but you actually did. I know. We were just as SURPRISED as you are.” 

    Despite THROWING everything as this test subject, both metaphorically and physically, he remained STANDING. He was an EXCELLENT participant, and DESERVED a reward: lots...and LOTS...of cake. In fact, it was being specially MADE right now. His very own -- all to HIMSELF! Nobody else deserved this cake. She couldn’t WAIT to see the look on his face when he RECEIVED this unique cake. She had even gone out of her way to DECORATE for the occasion by way of a solitary, blue-coloured party hat placed on the floor in front of the test subject. PERFECT. Apart from that, and a camera focused on him in the top right-hand corner, the whole test chamber was EMPTY. 

       “Thank you for wιllιngly parтιcιpaтιng in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. We hope it was as FUN for you as it was for US!” Her tone was FAR too up-beat, booming in the test chamber. The question he asked was EXPECTED, but uncalled for. Whenever she did something NICE, the test subject was always suspicious. It was as though they didn’t TRUST her! He was still alive, was he NOT? “As a reward for completing ALL tests, we are throwing a party in honour of your SUCCESS!” 

                       What was a PARTY without CAKE, however? 

      “Place the party hat on your head, and assume the party ѕυвмιѕѕιon position by standing on that massive X in the middle of the ROOM with your arms OUT-STRETCHED--

              “--your CAKE will arrive shortly!”

       SILENCE. There was nothing but silence. It was as though the test subject had been FORGOTTEN, but then the lights were suddenly switched off, plunging him into DARKNESS. There was a FIVE-MINUTE wait before a ding was heard, similar to an egg-timer completing its count. His cake was READY. SURROUNDING the test subject, a sea of red optic lights appeared, before the LED being turned back ON revealed what they belonged to. TURRETS. Lots...and LOTS...of turrets. A chorus of whirring filled the room as they locked on the test subject, side-panels expanding to reveal guns, and their innocent-sounding voices EAGERLY colliding with each other.

                   “ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ.”

                                 “ι ѕee yoυ!”

                                                “тargeт acqυιred.”

#fasciinating #v; welcome to the enrichment centre #initiating surprise in three...two...one ( prompts ) #[Hello! Let me know if you want anything else :) ]

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Portal 2. Concept Art of Aperture Science.

#serious injuries may occur ( environment ) #the cake is a lie ( Aperture Science ) #[I love this omg] #[Atlas and P-Body holding hands in the last picture...my boys....my sons]

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"Oh, is that a challenge?"

@chariotsofthegodsman is trying to escape! Come back!

       How had she been so OBLIVIOUS? One moment, the test subject was THERE. The next, he was GONE. It was as though he’d...vanished. She wondered whether she’d vaporised him by accident, because that happened every now and again, BUT there were no scorch-marks on the PRISTINE-WHITE tiled floor. The test subject was MAGICAL! Her test protocol was going to have “NO MAGIC ALLOWED” added to it, if this was going to be a regular occurrence... 

                                          ...oh, wait, there he is.

    After REPLAYING the video-feed, she watched as the test subject SLIPPED THROUGH an opening in the changing wall tiles. As she re-made the test chamber, MOVING partitions around, SHIFTING the floor, and ADDING elements, he’d taken the split-second OPPORTUNITY to escape. He could have been CRUSHED! And then what would she DO with a mangled body? She could laminate him, then display him at the beginning of each test with a plaque reading, “Here’s what YOU could end up LOOKING like if you don’t LISTEN!” 

        “Where do you think you’re going?--

                             “--come back, and I won’t have to kill you. I’m not kidding!”

    The sassy remark was unexpected. HE wasn’t allowed to be sassy! Leave that to those in CHARGE -- her! He wasn’t listening. She was beginning to suspect that he was IGNORING her. That was ANOTHER comment added to his official test records: “Incredibly rude”, alongside his PREVIOUS one of “Very ungrateful.” This test subject was a repeat offender for causing TROUBLE judging by his grand total of TWO comments. On the same PAGE, no less! 

         “You really...really shouldn’t be back there. It isn’t safe. I’ll even tell you how unsafe that area is--”

              “--We FAILED our last safety inspection. That’s how dangerous it is. I highly recommend returning to the testing area, where you’ll be SAFER.”

#chariotsofthegodsman #v; welcome to the enrichment centre #initiating surprise in three...two...one ( prompts )

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“Not at all,” said Sir. “There is no question of failure on his part.”

(For he is the first convincing postulation of mechanical perfection.)

**rp for data, lore, and b-4 from star trek. selective, written by babs.**

#test subject ( promo ) #positronicminds #[GLaDOS voice: As a required test protocol - you must follow this test subject] #[Side effects include: an over-whelming sense of awe; dizziness from quality writing; and intracranial bleeding from having your mind blown]

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Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now. In order to escape, we’re gonna have to go through her chamber, and she will probably kill us.

#someday we will look back on this and laugh ( personal ) #serious injuries may occur ( environment ) #the cake is a lie ( aperture science )

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Seriously, though. Goodbye.

#someday we will look back on this and laugh ( personal ) #serious injuries may occur ( environment )

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@coneyislandcastaway didn’t die, after all! What a shame!

     YELLOW light from her optic flared across the DEAD body, highlighting the MANGLED wreckage. As soon as he FELL from the high platform, she knew that he was a GONER. No HUMAN could survive that FALL. The SHOCK on his face as he SLIPPED was so...so....SATISFYING, she rewound the video footage and REPLAYED his last moments, laying over a LAUGH TRACK for comedic value. She had MONTAGES of test subjects, HIGHLIGHTING their final mistakes -- aptly entitled, “APERTURE’S GREATEST DEATHS.” Her footage was WASTED. Nobody appreciated the EFFORT she put into making those videos! 

      The test subject OPENING his eyes was NOT part of the protocol, however. Now she would have to change “UNSATISFACTORY” on his official testing record to, “CHEAT.” It was against her RULES to survive a fall like THAT. The proper procedure, when FALLING from a great HEIGHT, was to stop BREATHING. Drawing back, her optic shutter narrowed in DISAPPOINTMENT, blocking out some of the yellow light shining over his body. After seeing him FALL, she had decided to STOP the test, plunging the chamber into DARKNESS. It was just the TWO of them now. 

        “OH, I guess you weren't dead after all--"

                                      “--which is both impressive AND disappointing.”

          “What I MEANT to say was--” she continued, once more illuminating the chamber in strong light, “--congratulations, Subject Name Here! You defied all ODDS and SURVIVED! We're so PROUD of you! A complimentary victory lift has been ACTIVATED. Step on that TILE in the corner, and proceed on up to the TOP.” A minor mistake. NOTHING that couldn’t be FIXED in the next test with PLENTY of turrets.

         Plenty...and...plenty of TURRETS.

#coneyislandcastaway #v; welcome to the enrichment centre

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HOW MUCH OF A SINNER IS YOUR MUSE?

tagged by: @positronicminds [<3]

tagging: @chariotsofthegodsman, @lucky--star, @coneyislandcastaway, and anyone else who happens to see this!

#someday we will look back on this and laugh ( personal ) #[She rigged this to get a lower score]

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"Are you telling the truth?"

@lucky–star listens to some useful advice!

     “The Enrichment Centre is COMMITTED to the well being of all participants–”

                        “–and promises to always provide USEFUL advice. Any, and all, advice is completely TRUE. For example, should you fall into the water, you WILL drown – try to avoid it.” 

      This test subject was certainly QUESTIONING too many things. Despite REASSURING her that, as long as she FOLLOWED the instructions, she wouldn’t SUFFER a horrific DEATH, the test subject continued to be suspicious. PRYING. It was as if she didn’t TRUST her. Had she DIED yet? No – then what was her PROBLEM? Most test subjects didn’t make it this FAR, having reached CHAMBER 06 after the last one involved multiple TURRETS. This test subject had managed to DESTROY them all; she watched as they became CONFUSED and shot THEMSELVES. THEMSELVES! Whoever ran QUALITY CONTROL needed to be fired IMMEDIATELY! 

                              WAIT. She was head of QUALITY CONTROL.

                       WELL – then she needed to have a WORD with herself!

           “Additionally, we must WARN you–” there was an almighty CRACKLING sound, similar to a television set losing signal, before her voice settled, “–and MOST IMPORTANTLY–” a whine drowned out the IMPORTANT information, before she spoke in a much STERNER tone, “–which is WHY–” this time, the whole chamber was silent for a good minute, until she returned with a much calmer-sounding voice. “We HOPE you listened CAREFULLY. Good LUCK, and please be CAREFUL!” 

         The entire chamber SHIFTED then. Ahead of the test subject, the floor opened up to reveal a DEEP PIT with dark-looking WATER. Should she fall, there was NO RETURN. The only way across was a rather MENACING-LOOKING spring-board to propel her in the air, and absolutely NOTHING else. It was the only OPTION available.

          “The Enrichment Centre reminds you that ALL equipment has been THOROUGHLY checked and APPROVED for safety,” she piped up, noticing the test subject’s HESITANCE, “It has been SIX hours since the last MALFUNCTION, which is a RECORD. Please proceed to the SPRING-BOARD and make your way ACROSS.”  

#lucky--star #v; welcome to the enrichment centre #initiating surprise in three...two...one ( prompts )

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#serious injuries may occur ( environment ) #the cake is a lie ( Aperture Science )