ablogforgettingbetter

[ablogforgettingbetter]

This makes so much sense

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Your trauma is valid if you made choices you aren’t proud of as a result.

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i just heard the phrase “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever needed to hear anything more

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Growing.

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"When you stop hoping that your Emotionally Immature (EI) parent might one day change, you can finally face how hurt, alone, and frightened you felt as a child. Awareness of the cost of these emotional injuries probably had to be suppressed in childhood so you could complete the business of growing up. It was healthy for you back then to hope that your EI parent might one day care about your feelings and seek a deeper connection. But now as an adult, it is healthier to give up hopes for your parent’s change. When you stop longing to be rescued by them, you can connect with your own emotional needs and thereby bond more securely to yourself, your future development, and your future relationships."

Gibson, Lindsay C.. Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy (pp. 60-61).

#emotional abuse #childhood trauma #emotionally immature parents #mental health

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accepting your mistakes is the first step towards learning from them

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Forgive yourself for the coping mechanisms you adopted during challenging times.

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I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

[ablogforgettingbetter]

Rashida Tlaib has set up a petition to send to the White House to recognize and stop the ethnic cleansing and forced displacement happening in Gaza. If you’re a US citizen please sign. I have no illusions that this will change policy, but the public outcry against their actions must continue. We will not be distracted or discouraged from continuing to object to these humans rights violations.

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learning lately that a lot of confidence is about owning up. like "yeah i'm a little addicted to my phone right now" or "yeah i'm not really over this person yet" or "yeah i still get pretty anxious in crowds" just saying anything at all but then following it up w "but i'm trying to get better" and being super nonchalant and unaffected. so powerful. you would literally be undefeatable in the face of even the most judgmental person. no one can judge you for things you already know about yourself and are trying to improve on. the trick is to know yourself from the inside out, to hold yourself accountable, and to actively improve every day. like that is literally the secret to never feeling like you're at the mercy of somebody else's judgment

[ablogforgettingbetter]

How to Get Over Past Mistakes

1. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, does things wrongs, and has moments of regret. There are no perfect people out there. In that sense, you are just the same as everybody else.

2. Remind yourself that “that was then, and this is now”. You can’t turn back the clocks and change what you did, but you can be a different person in the future.

3. Allow yourself to experience and name the feelings you are struggling with (regret, guilt, shame, disappointment, embarrassment, sadness, etc.) – then make the decision to let those feelings go. In the end, it’s unhealthy to become attached to them.

4. Ask yourself what you can learn from the situation. What would you do differently if you found yourself in that situation again? How can it change the person you are now (so that you feel better about yourself)?

5. Recognise that failings and mistakes are part of the growth process. It’s inevitable that you’ll encounter obstacles, challenges and failures throughout life. Don’t let that stop you from really living life.

6. Remind yourself that “it was what you did, it’s not who you are.” Don’t allow any single event or experience to define you. You are more than that – so don’t let it become your identity, or your destiny.

7. Give yourself the gift of a new day and a new start. Forgive yourself, let go of the past, and with confidence move on with your life.

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say it with me—

“someday i’m going to have the life i’ve always dreamed of and i won’t let self doubt stop me”

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https://twitter.com/isabelunraveled

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(shaking my 14-year-old self) I was so mean to you but I love you, I love you, love you

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Seeking help is a courageous act.