a41-i-finally-caved

[a41-i-finally-caved]

fracture ending was amazing btw <3

Ayyy thank you!! It feels really good to have gotten it done and out there...some of the first bits I ever wrote for Fracture ended up intact in that last scene so it was pretty cool to see it come full circle <3

#fracture #answered ask

[a41-i-finally-caved]

And two years later...Sorry for the wait guys :)

A taut breath, and Martin settles back down, the tether holding him to the wall pooling limp on the floor. “It goes both ways; there is something other about us that they can feel. We become curiosities, objects of fear or excitement, monsters in the dark. It’s predator and prey, my boy.” “What’s your point?” Gil says. “A serial killer can never be this personal; but Martin Whitly…” “This isn’t about the Surgeon,” Malcolm breathes. “It’s about you.”

#prodigal son #malcolm bright #martin whitly #prodigal son fanfic #fracture #it's finished now #last chapter will be out in a few days :)

[a41-i-finally-caved]

Completely outside my usual pond, but let’s give it a go!

“You have the lowest graduation rate—”

“And the lowest casualty rates amongst my graduates,” Shouta cuts him off.

Sensoji throws his hands up; “Just because you fail the less naturally gifted to skew the numbers—”

“It’s not about skewing numbers!” The room bristles at his shout, proverbial feathers rustling, and even Sensoji takes a step back. Shouta’s hands tighten into fists; these owls, looming and silent and so very high above the rest of them. “These are kids’ lives you’re talking about.” He scoffs. “Numbers.”

#my hero academia #boko no hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero academia aizawa #aizawa shouta

[a41-i-finally-caved]

Malcolm blinks down at the phone in his hand as it goes to voicemail. Someone hits against him in the busy street. It’s late, dark, noisy. Malcolm works his way to a quiet corner and pulls out his phone. It’s 10:46.

At 10:58, he squares his shoulders and hits redial.

“Hey Ains, sorry I must have missed your call.”

“Must have? That’s what you’re going with? I called you like seven times; I know when I’m being ignored.”

He doesn’t say he doesn’t remember the phone ever ringing. He doesn’t say he didn’t even realize it had until he saw her messages. He doesn’t say when he went to listen to her voicemails for the first time; some of them had already been played. And tangled in the absence of what he doesn’t say, he finds he can’t say much at all.

#fracture #prodigal son fanfic #malcolm bright #almost done with this bad boy #2 more chapters #full out paranoid about posting the next one tbh

[a41-i-finally-caved]

don't stall fracture it's amazing 😭😂 papa gil incoming 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Haha no worries, it's actually coming along really well! I'm about 3,000 words in, 4 more chunks to go. I just have to be careful while writing it, it can be... a lot, especially as we build up to the climax (which tbh, I'm kinda lowkey terrified to post lol)

And at the risk of sounding super pretentious... it's hard to stay in that headspace (meaning, Malcolm's s2 spiral) for too long without it getting draining.

Like the whole premise is the aftermath of Malcolm breaking the moral code he built his identity on. He's in fight or flight constantly... absolutely terrified that he's the monster his actions (not just his DNA) make him out to be.

Thankfully, the heart of the story is still with him and Gil. Poor Malcolm's trying to conceptualize unconditional love... when his experiences with 'love' are all tied up with guilt, possession, legacy, and expectation. And for all that Gil and Malcolm are father and son at heart, in love and in all the ways that matter; genetically and legally and in actuality... they're not. And that's the tragedy of the whole thing.

So... all that to say, this is why I take lots of breaks (and procrastinate by pulling out old stuff!) during writing Fracture lol

Sorry, I kinda prattled on here, hope you don't mind too much :)

(Also, yes... lots more Gil&Mal feels incoming. Every time I think I've maxed that out MORE show up from freaking nowhere lol)

#answered ask #this got long #sorry anon #fracture

[a41-i-finally-caved]

Did u write on discord too 😱😱😱 anyway to read

I wrote some drabble type stuff... we had this 3 word prompt game, where you tried to write something with as many of the words as you could... I only participated a few times, but it was an absolute blast!

I will fish those out and post them in the little Scraps work I posted on Ao3 today, once I polish 'em up a bit :)

#scraps #answered ask #is this me stalling from writing Fracture?? #I mean...maybe :) #that thing is emotionally damaging okay

[a41-i-finally-caved]

John Watkins and the importance of choosing names

Part 2 of Religious References in Prodigal Son.

(Other parts will be tagged with ‘A41 dusts off Sunday School knowledge’.) Now with Bonus Random Side Notes! (BRSN)

Okay! Coming back with some analysis of eps I’ve already watched, cuz the brain is not quite ready to cooperate :)

Names, specifically choosing your name has huge significance in PS, so I want to look at the alias of everyone’s favorite Whumper killer: John Watkins, aka Paul Lazar.

Lazar:

So I think it’s been said before, but the name Lazar could be a reference to the biblical figure Lazarus. (It could also be completely random, but considering that Paul is a biblical name, and John’s background... plus it’s more fun to take it as intentional :P)  The account of how Jesus raised Lazarus of Bethany from the dead is found, interesting enough, in the gospel of John. Watkins could be relating to the feeling of having died and been reborn, or even the idea that by killing his victims, he is allowing them to be ‘reborn’ without sin.

But Lazarus of Bethany isn’t the only Lazarus in the bible! In the gospel of Luke, Jesus tells the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus the beggar. Not getting into the whole parable here, but in Luke 16:25 Abraham (yes, that Abraham) says to the Rich Man "Son, remember that in your lifetime  you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but  now he is comforted here and you are in agony.” I think this idea of a suffering trade off is absolutely something severely abused John Watkins could get behind.

BRSN: I used the New International Version (NIV) of the bible to quote here just for ease of understanding, but I absolutely believe the Watkins family were hardcore King James Version (KJV) users. If you think ship wars are bad, you’ve never seen a bunch of middle aged men fighting over correct and moral bible version :)

Paul:

There is sometimes confusion here that St. Paul the apostle is one of the twelve disciples... he is not, and it is important (or it would be to John Watkins).

See Paul was originally very Anti-Christian. But then in a series of events involving a vision of Christ, blinding, and miraculous healing; God called to Paul and he became St. Paul: missionary, writer, and overall sarcastic badass. (seriously, his letters to the churches have enough salt to fit in with Tumblr call out posts)

And this idea, of being called, of being given a mission... well that’s John’s MO. In his mind, he’s becoming a missionary, an apostle, called by God to spread his views; what other name could he take than the greatest missionary of them all?

The name choice here really speaks to John’s ego and fanatical belief in what he was doing, a truly great set-up for a mission-based killer. (Unfortunately, we lost a lot of that drive and focus once he decided to tangle with Bright...and the writers decided to pull the Surgeon’s got a sidekick plot in. But that’s another post... and possibly an entire fic) 

#prodigal son #A41 dusts off Sunday school knowledge #prodigal son meta #John Watkins #that fic is coming...eventually

[a41-i-finally-caved]

So excited to see you pop up on Ao3! Seriously... I might've squeeeeeeed! And then I HAD to come see if you were here again too... and LOOK AT YOU!! I've got some reading to do!!! Glad to see you again!

zstrjytkuvlivhb Oh my gosh... this was a delight to receive :)

Seriously, I'm all blushing and stuff and just HI! I totally forgot how amazing and friendly the ps peeps are... super glad to be back <3

#answered ask

[a41-i-finally-caved]

Your update was amazing!!! Thank you so much!!!!! Hope you feel better soon.

And it's your blog, do whatever you'd like. More writing based things would be very cool, your analysis is all amazing to read. Maybe analysis comparing season 1 to 2?? Or maybe write drabble on the blog?? Your Papa Gil is absolutely wonderful and warms my heart. Finding Safety is beautiful.

Anything you do is amazing thanks for continuing to provide content for the fandom especially with so many people heartbroken over the cancellation. Again take care!!

Thank you so much! I am getting there a bit slowly, but still moving forward! (I think? lol)

I'm so excited to do some writing based posts, but I gotta figure out my tone. A lot of writing advice seems to be very 'you have to do this' 'never do that' and such. I'd prefer to be more, 'here's a toolbox of how different writing decisions can shape your story and effect your audience, apply as you see fit' if that makes sense?

ohhh season 1 to season 2 could be interesting... I've been rereading some of my stuff to recover my footing, writing-wise, and the differences in tone and characterization between S1 and S2 is insane. (Is it wrong to say I miss S1 when everyone was precariously happy instead of precariously unhinged??)

Papa Gil is my soft spot and it becomes painfully more obvious with every piece I write (Finding Safety is my happy fic...was working on the next bit and cghkjfyik they are so SOFT?! Or like they really want to be... under rock-shield layers of trust issues and I-don't-really-know-you also our first meeting was traumatic af lol)

Thanks for the ask, and the feedback! Tis super helpful <3

#answered ask #finding verse

[a41-i-finally-caved]

Hi! I love all your stories (as the mind follows is my favorite story in the entire fandom), and I don’t really have anything to say but thank you! Your stories really make my life better, and I’m really happy I found them. I’m glad you’re doing (mostly) okay now, and hopefully things work out great for you <3

Hey! Aww thank you so much! I am so excited to get back to the (first!) sequel for and the mind follows...I still love my current stuff, but I miss season 1 characterization so bad!

I am so happy you are enjoying my stories... I'm definitely the type of person who follows 'write for yourself', but posting is always a wild hope that someone else will have fun with them too. To hear you love them that much... God it's the most humbling thing :)

Thank you for the love, I hope your week is as amazing as you are <3

#answered ask #to load to aim to fire

[a41-i-finally-caved]

“So, what’s his move?” JT is the one to ask, and Malcolm blinks at him.

“The killer’s? Well, it depends on—”

“No, your um…”

“My… Dad.” Malcolm looks back to the head, abruptly more comfortable meeting those dead eyes than any of those on his team. “I don’t know. Dr. Whitly doesn’t suffer challenges lightly; but he’s also bored out of his mind. This kind of flattery, twisted though it is, will feed his narcissism; and the perverting of his work, might be enough to set him off. Our killer’s looking for a specific response,” he says and ignores the stove-oil-flash of memory—you say that again, say I was a terrible father! “I’d keep an eye on the Surgeon’s visitors list. This is getting personal.”

#prodigal son #prodigal son fanfic #malcolm bright #gil arroyo #fracture #AND WE'RE BACK!!! #honestly i had full out first time nerves posting this lol #it's been too long

[a41-i-finally-caved]

more fracture please? 🥺😭

....super late but new chapter today??

Hope you like it <3

#answered ask #fracture

[a41-i-finally-caved]

Loving Fracture!! It's helping so much through this cancellation blues especially your fic in general thanks for writing

Aww thank you so much!! Apologies for the super late response...tis been wild irl :(

But the new chapter is out today! and I'm on a good track for going forward (fingers crossed lol) Thanks for the support <3 I hope you enjoy it!

#answered ask #fracture

[a41-i-finally-caved]

i will venmo you for more ps fic please im desperate lol

HA! Oh this made me laugh...thank you I needed that! :)

The next chapter of Fracture is written (as of tonight! Whooo!!) So I need a day or two to edit and then I plan to post in the next few days.

(I say plan (with too much accenting) because this hiatus was 97.5% beyond my control and I am trying to accept that sometimes stuff just happens and it doesn't mean I'm a bad person lol) BUT THAT IS THE PLAN!

I also am thinking of putting up a work on ao3 of my short bits and pieces that don't fit as a full fic (from here, discord, and languishing in my doc lol)... But in the meantime... Fracture preview?

“What’s all this?” Gil’s voice comes from farther than Malcolm’s expecting; he spins around to see Gil poking at his files, spread all over his bed, and okay that really doesn’t look good. “Damn, you’ve been busy.” Gil’s hand brushes over the innocuous cover of a composition notebook and Malcolm’s breath catches. Oh God, don’t open that one. Gil’s been pouring over the Surgeon notebooks; he’ll recognize the contents in an instant. But Gil’s hand shifts away and Malcolm’s heart stops trying to jump out his throat.

“You know how it is; case like this we have to pull out any little detail we can.” Malcolm laughs, voice cracking to a higher register than normal, and edges closer. It puts Gil’s back to him, and he can’t see what Gil’s looking at, what he’s opening, what he’s seeing.

“Course.” Gil turns to him and holds up that notebook, open and damning. “Is that why you went through my desk earlier?”

Malcolm doesn’t say ‘I needed it’, he won’t say ‘I’m sorry’, and he can’t say ‘Gil I think I’ve messed up so much worse than that’ so he settles on a biting, “Is that why you’re going through my stuff right now?” He braces for Gil’s anger, and half expects a shouted my boy, which doesn’t even make sense.

“I worry about you,” Gil says instead, and he doesn’t sound angry or even concerned just… resigned? A pit opens up somewhere deep in Malcolm’s gut.

“That’s unnecessary,” he says stiffly as Gil flips through page after page of carefully transcribed murder. Malcolm wonders if it makes him sick too, to see the Surgeon’s words copied out in Malcolm’s hand.

“Is it?” Gil tosses the notebook back on the bed. It slips off and hits the floor with a sad little thump. Neither of them reach for it. “Because after what happened earlier, I’m ready to get you a backpack leash.” He smiles a bit as he says it, but something in his eyes looks so serious that Malcolm… well, he panics.

#fracture #prodigal son fanfic #malcolm bright #gil arroyo #answered ask

[a41-i-finally-caved]

Hi! Here’s my super-belated-status-update-cuz-things-are-kinda-mostly-stable-again 

(Phew)

So I am:

1) Not dead :)

2) Fully intending on finishing my stories (Fracture, The Finding Series, and the other three parts of To Load, To Aim, To Fire) I saw there was some concern what with the show’s cancellation ( :( )... but I love the dang things too much lol

3) Totally going to respond to all the asks you guys have been sending! (And can I just say wow...y’all are beyond amazing. Thank you so much, they were such a boost when things went way out of control)

4) Still waiting to watch the last two eps??? I don’t even know guys... brain damage makes TV watching oddly precarious? I could do animated stuff just fine, but live action only worked if I had seen it before??? idk Brains are weird :P BUT! Now that the idea no longer sounds painful...I’m planning on watching them soon :)

5) Kinda unsure what to do with this blog?? I’m gonna finish out with the analysis (maybe with a season 2 re-watch??) and keep up with fic updates and asks of course, but beyond that...

Idk, I’m thinking of maybe some writing/storytelling... well not quite advice, (I don’t have that much ego lol) but just a compilation of the bits and pieces I’m figuring out about what makes a story effective at it’s heart. Tension, plotting, character agency; that kind of thing. Maybe breakdown some examples and such. Idk if anyone would be interested in that, (Seriously, feel free to shout some other suggestions lol) but it is my current nerd obsession so I can go on for daaayyysss

Anyway...I don’t know if anyone will see this, but that’s where I’m at right now. Thanks for listening :)

[a41-i-finally-caved]

What did you think of the last few eps?

I haven’t actually watched them yet! Anything I had for 2x11 was mostly conjecture-based, so I was holding off until the next ep...then we got the cancellation news :(

But! I am planning on watching the last two eps tonight or tomorrow and any analysis/opinions should be following soon? I’m really excited to see how they wrapped things up and if these episodes will serve as a solid series finale or not. (Unless...HBO? Come save us lol)

Sorry, I realize this answer is basically useless :)

#answered ask

[a41-i-finally-caved]

How r u 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻 hope ur well

Awww thank you, I am doing okay! Some irl things have been shifting--not in a bad way, just completely overwhelming--so that’s why I’ve been a bit MIA. But! things have stopped spinning quite so wildly, so I should be back to fandom stuff soon <3

#answered ask