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43qh · 3 days
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may not be on for a couple months?
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43qh · 10 days
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ur my absolute # 1 omg ur messages mean the WORLD to me mwah mwah mwah 😽🤍🤍🤍
vortex (m)
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quinn hughes x fem!reader
genre: angst, smut, fluff
warnings: unprotected sex, blood mention, sad ending
word count: 2.5k
summary: “some day, you’ll come back, and i’ll say no.”
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slow dancing.
you’re in his arms, the song swaying the both of you into a melody of love. one of your hands on his shoulder, the other in his own hand. his other hand around your waist, tugging you as close as possible as the two of you tangle in a mess of lyrics and kisses being the stop to your feet.
quinn was a romantic. it was something a lot of people didn’t have the pleasure of seeing. you were the lucky chosen one to be dancing with him like this. so close and near. a small smile playing on his lips as he tries to memorize the way your lips curl in a smile that takes his breath away.
it wasn’t always so easy, though.
if you weren’t tangled with quinn, you were arguing with quinn. you couldn’t stop coming back to him though when he would display a pair of puppy eyes that made you drop your defense.
you wondered if quinn ever had a weakness for you the same way you had for him.
when dancing was all said and done, he spins you around one last time before capturing you in a kiss. the kiss was hungry, leading to more. and you were falling prey to his demands as he lays you down and undresses the both of you.
despite the hurried and rushed removal of clothing, quinn takes his time. getting to know every inch of you, just like you deserve. he kisses your neck, leaves a little mark behind when you whimper.
when quinn eases into you, your senses are hightened. you can feel a tingle in your hands and feet as he rolls into you. gasping for air and clutching onto his biceps. he enjoys the way your nails dig into his skin. he enjoys the way you clench around him when he finally bottoms out. he enjoys the whines you let out. he could be with you forever.
“quinn..” your voice cracks between the tension, and he swears he could fall apart any second now.
“i’ve got you, my love.” it’s so endearing. he’s so endearing. he holds you close by your hips and thrusts into with care. it’s so soft, making you believe that he does love you. “so tight, just for me.”
you wrap your legs around him, feeling like you’re floating on a cloud as he speeds up his pace. his cock rubs your spot so sweetly, like he was made for you.
you wanted him to be made for you.
“such a good girl for me,” quinn is out of breath, sweat sheening across his skin. he looks like a dream.
you can feel yourself coming undone already just at the sight of him alone, at the soft grunts he lets out, at the small bites he leaves on your shoulder to muffle any more sounds he lets out. “gonna cum.”
“cum for me, sweetheart.”
quinn hughes was your undoing. as you fall apart around him, tensing up and shaking in his arms, you feel the flood of warmth you always do. your chest feels warm and complete as you feel him finish inside you. you feel taken care of when he washes you clean in the shower. you feel loved.
quinn hughes made it easy to love him.
but he also made it easy to hate him.
quinn was nonchalant. never daring to put a label on the both of you. you’ve argued your case to him, and he has argued his. the conversation never goes anywhere, and you always end up right back in his arms either way.
you always come back.
and the worst part is, he knows. he knows you’ll come back. he knows you’ll argue again, he knows you’ll fuck again, he knows he’ll romance you again, and he knows you’ll continue coming back.
it wasn’t hard to tell that you loved quinn.
you were even sure quinn knew.
“you have to let me come over,” quinn’s voice was shaking on the other line of the phone.
you bite your bottom lip, debating if it was a good idea. of course it wasn’t, but you agree anyway. and when quinn enters your apartment, he looks more disheveled than ever. his hair is a mess, his beard growing, his eyes more tired than usual.
quinn doesn’t ask anything of you, and you feel the nerves rise up in your stomach all over again.
he places himself on your couch, leaning against it as a sigh leaves his mouth. you make your way to the couch, eyeing him with an attentive look. silence fills the room, and you simply wait patiently for him to speak.
“we’re so awful together,” he speaks finally, looking at you with stoic eyes, “but we’re awful apart.”
you nod, “i know.”
“so why do we keep this going?” quinn looks frustrated, eyebrows furrowed.
“because we’re awful apart.”
quinn sighs, “your touch fuels me. it’s like i need it to breathe. and i hate it.”
“then stop touching me.” you snap.
“i can’t,” he shakes his head, “i need you.”
“you need my attention.” you state.
quinn pauses, looking away in shame, “i don’t want it to be like that, you know.”
you feel a lump in your throat, “get out.”
quinn is shocked at how sure of yourself you are, but he obliges to your wishes that night. he makes no fight. he knows you’ll be back.
and you hated that he was right.
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“you look beautiful.” quinn’s words spike right through you. you feel a tightening in your chest at the way he looks at you. those puppy eyes, so forgivable.
you sigh, “you look handsome.”
quinn’s grin makes it all worth it to you. the pain you feel in your chest is all worth it to you if it means you’re the reason quinn smiles.
“why’re you by yourself?” quinn asks, looking around the bar as he sees his friends playing pool.
“i didn’t have any company to call.” you shrug, taking a sip of what you’re drinking. you feel the burn of alcohol scratch your throat.
“you could’ve called me.” he leans against the bar, raising an eyebrow.
you shake your head, “i really need to stop calling you.”
quinn laughs, “i don’t think you call enough, actually.”
you admire the way his smile reaches his eyes. he really was gorgeous. his looks weren’t the only reason you fell so hard for him, though. he was caring when he needed to be. when he wanted to be. he was soft and sweet. he was everything you wanted.
but he couldn’t be everything you needed.
“you’re right. normally you just show up unannounced to my place,” you quip.
quinn’s mouth goes dry a bit, looking at you with confused eyes, “i text first.”
“you’re normally already on the way.” another sip of your drink, and you notice the way quinn’s eyes follow your lips to the glass, “i don’t think you came over here for small talk, quinn.”
quinn scoffs, “what? we can’t at least act like friends?”
you feel a bitter taste on your tongue at his words, “no, we can’t. because friends don’t fuck like we do.” you place your glass down and turn your body to fully face him, “friends don’t kiss like we do. friends don’t know each other the way we know each other. friends don’t do what we do.”
quinn falls quiet. he’s speechless, your outbursts aren’t abnormal. but this one felt a little more personal than the rest.
you lick your lips, “we’re not friends.”
you walk out the bar that night with tears in your eyes.
why did you have to love him?
why did it have to be quinn?
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the nerve of quinn hughes.
quinn stands in your doorway, eyes drooping low, a cut on his cheek that’s starting to bleed again. quinn decided to show up at your door like you’re two main love interests in a movie and you’re supposed to fix him up.
“you should get that checked out.” you say, trying to stand your ground. he makes it hard though when he nods softly, eyes turning away from your gaze like you just kicked him.
“i did,” he starts, letting out a soft breath, “thought i might need a second opinion, though.”
you want to scoff and shut your door. tell him to fuck off. tell him you’re not his doctor. but the gaze in his eyes make you weak, and the scruff of his voice makes you feel small all over again. you’re victim to his weakness.
so, you step aside. and you hear the sigh of relief quinn let’s out when he steps foot inside. he takes off his shoes like a gentleman before looking back at you.
you take his hand softly, leading him to your bathroom. he follows quietly, no remarks or words are said the whole way there. even if it wasn’t a huge walk to your bathroom, it was the most quiet the two of you have ever been in one room together.
he leans against the counter of your sink as you gather supplies to clean the wound. “this is gonna sting.” you warn.
quinn just nods, looking at you with soft eyes. there’s a glow in his eyes when he looks at you, and you just wished things were different.
you place the gauze on his cheek that has alcohol on it, and he hisses. you see the way he scrunches his face in displeasure, and it makes you want to jump away at his reaction.
“told you,” you whisper.
quinn’s face relaxes and he can’t help the chuckle that falls from his lips. quinn found you so irresistably charming. quinn would do anything for you, in all reality. he was just so scared of committing to you, and you have your heart broken in the worst way possible. quinn was a hockey player. someone who travels quite frequently. he wouldn’t have enough time for you, and that hurt him more than the situation the two of you were in right now. he considered this safe.
when you finish cleaning his cheek and throwing away the gauze, he grabs your waist and pulls you in. you want to pull away, tell him that he’s all fixed up. that he doesn’t need your services anymore.
but you couldn’t.
he gazes at you, “you’re so beautiful up close.”
he doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he’s kissing you. and it’s nothing like all the other kisses. it’s softer, more meaningful. something that makes you want to drown in it.
and it’s so wrong.
this wasn’t who you and quinn were, or could ever be.
the kiss is short lived when you finally push him away, despite the ache in your heart when you do.
“goodbye, quinn.”
the words ring in his ears, and he doesn’t want to believe they’re true. but they are. and you’re close to breaking if he doesn’t leave the room that very minute.
luckily, he does.
and when you hear your front door shut, you lean against your sink where he once was minutes ago. your lips tingle, but your chest hurts. your hands are sweaty, but you feel a lump in your throat.
this wasn’t any good for you.
quinn wasn’t any good for you.
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you don’t know whether you should be furious or if you should fall to the ground crying.
quinn was kissing someone else.
someone that wasn’t you.
you had no claim on him. quinn had no claim on you.
you stand there in the hallway leading to his apartment, watching as he continues to suck face with another woman. when he finally pulls away, his face floods white when he catches eye with you.
“holy shit-”
you turn on your heel and walk away.
you can hear quinn trying to run after you. you feel tears pricking your eyes as you stop in front of the elevator, pressing the button more times than necessary. everything feels like it’s running in slow motion. like you’re slowly losing grip with reality.
your heart has dropped to your stomach when you feel a hand reach out for you. you feel your head spin when you snatch your arm out of reach.
“you’re not mine, damn it!” you scream, you sound mad. you sound crazy. “this shouldn’t hurt!” tears are falling as you hear the elevator make its way up to the floor you’re on. “this isn’t even real. we’re not real. but you made it feel real. the kisses, the dancing, the compliments, the hand holding. it confuses me, damn it!.” you’re hysterical as the elevator finally dings and opens.
quinn is left speechless, letting you scream at him. his heart is pounding in his chest. he never thought the guilt would hurt worse than anything he has ever felt. he never thought kissing someone else would feel so wrong.
you walk into the elevator, and the expression on your face as you press the button to the bottom floor makes his heart stop. you’re so broken. he broke you.
and, fuck, does it hurt.
“goodbye, quinn.”
your tone was different from last time you said it. this time he could hear the meaning behind it, like this was finally it. this was the last time he’d ever hear from you.
and his suspicions were right.
you blocked his number, didn’t answer the door for him anymore, even avoided all the places he normally would go.
you were finally saying no.
you were finally letting go.
time passes and the ache doesn’t stop. your tears fall on your pillow every time you hear a knock on your door. your hands clutch your sheets as you hear his voice through the door, pleading with you and begging you to listen to him.
you couldn’t do it anymore, though.
you couldn’t listen to him and his excuses anymore.
when quinn gave up, the weight of the world somehow felt heavier. you were so used to going back. so used to having quinn there, even if it wasn’t in the healthiest way.
quinn was routine for you. and now you had to break through that routine.
months go by. and when you see quinn again for the first time in six months, you give him a small smile of pity. you had heard a knock on your door, not expecting it to be him. quinn looked a little more put together than when the two of you would ‘hang out’. it may have only been six months, but a lot had changed. especially for you.
“i’m sorry.” he couldn’t help himself.
you just smile at him, nodding, “i appreciate the apology.”
quinn shifts on his feet, “can i come in?”
you let out a breath. maybe you were waiting for this kind of closure the whole six months you spent without him, you weren’t sure. but the ache no longer sat with you as you stared at him. the pain no longer made home inside your heart at the idea of him. you refused to let those things back in.
“no.”
you were saying no.
quinn came back, and you finally said no.
those were the last words you ever spoke to quinn hughes.
234 notes · View notes
43qh · 10 days
Text
vortex (m)
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quinn hughes x fem!reader
genre: angst, smut, fluff
warnings: unprotected sex, blood mention, sad ending
word count: 2.5k
summary: “some day, you’ll come back, and i’ll say no.”
Tumblr media
slow dancing.
you’re in his arms, the song swaying the both of you into a melody of love. one of your hands on his shoulder, the other in his own hand. his other hand around your waist, tugging you as close as possible as the two of you tangle in a mess of lyrics and kisses being the stop to your feet.
quinn was a romantic. it was something a lot of people didn’t have the pleasure of seeing. you were the lucky chosen one to be dancing with him like this. so close and near. a small smile playing on his lips as he tries to memorize the way your lips curl in a smile that takes his breath away.
it wasn’t always so easy, though.
if you weren’t tangled with quinn, you were arguing with quinn. you couldn’t stop coming back to him though when he would display a pair of puppy eyes that made you drop your defense.
you wondered if quinn ever had a weakness for you the same way you had for him.
when dancing was all said and done, he spins you around one last time before capturing you in a kiss. the kiss was hungry, leading to more. and you were falling prey to his demands as he lays you down and undresses the both of you.
despite the hurried and rushed removal of clothing, quinn takes his time. getting to know every inch of you, just like you deserve. he kisses your neck, leaves a little mark behind when you whimper.
when quinn eases into you, your senses are hightened. you can feel a tingle in your hands and feet as he rolls into you. gasping for air and clutching onto his biceps. he enjoys the way your nails dig into his skin. he enjoys the way you clench around him when he finally bottoms out. he enjoys the whines you let out. he could be with you forever.
“quinn..” your voice cracks between the tension, and he swears he could fall apart any second now.
“i’ve got you, my love.” it’s so endearing. he’s so endearing. he holds you close by your hips and thrusts into with care. it’s so soft, making you believe that he does love you. “so tight, just for me.”
you wrap your legs around him, feeling like you’re floating on a cloud as he speeds up his pace. his cock rubs your spot so sweetly, like he was made for you.
you wanted him to be made for you.
“such a good girl for me,” quinn is out of breath, sweat sheening across his skin. he looks like a dream.
you can feel yourself coming undone already just at the sight of him alone, at the soft grunts he lets out, at the small bites he leaves on your shoulder to muffle any more sounds he lets out. “gonna cum.”
“cum for me, sweetheart.”
quinn hughes was your undoing. as you fall apart around him, tensing up and shaking in his arms, you feel the flood of warmth you always do. your chest feels warm and complete as you feel him finish inside you. you feel taken care of when he washes you clean in the shower. you feel loved.
quinn hughes made it easy to love him.
but he also made it easy to hate him.
quinn was nonchalant. never daring to put a label on the both of you. you’ve argued your case to him, and he has argued his. the conversation never goes anywhere, and you always end up right back in his arms either way.
you always come back.
and the worst part is, he knows. he knows you’ll come back. he knows you’ll argue again, he knows you’ll fuck again, he knows he’ll romance you again, and he knows you’ll continue coming back.
it wasn’t hard to tell that you loved quinn.
you were even sure quinn knew.
“you have to let me come over,” quinn’s voice was shaking on the other line of the phone.
you bite your bottom lip, debating if it was a good idea. of course it wasn’t, but you agree anyway. and when quinn enters your apartment, he looks more disheveled than ever. his hair is a mess, his beard growing, his eyes more tired than usual.
quinn doesn’t ask anything of you, and you feel the nerves rise up in your stomach all over again.
he places himself on your couch, leaning against it as a sigh leaves his mouth. you make your way to the couch, eyeing him with an attentive look. silence fills the room, and you simply wait patiently for him to speak.
“we’re so awful together,” he speaks finally, looking at you with stoic eyes, “but we’re awful apart.”
you nod, “i know.”
“so why do we keep this going?” quinn looks frustrated, eyebrows furrowed.
“because we’re awful apart.”
quinn sighs, “your touch fuels me. it’s like i need it to breathe. and i hate it.”
“then stop touching me.” you snap.
“i can’t,” he shakes his head, “i need you.”
“you need my attention.” you state.
quinn pauses, looking away in shame, “i don’t want it to be like that, you know.”
you feel a lump in your throat, “get out.”
quinn is shocked at how sure of yourself you are, but he obliges to your wishes that night. he makes no fight. he knows you’ll be back.
and you hated that he was right.
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“you look beautiful.” quinn’s words spike right through you. you feel a tightening in your chest at the way he looks at you. those puppy eyes, so forgivable.
you sigh, “you look handsome.”
quinn’s grin makes it all worth it to you. the pain you feel in your chest is all worth it to you if it means you’re the reason quinn smiles.
“why’re you by yourself?” quinn asks, looking around the bar as he sees his friends playing pool.
“i didn’t have any company to call.” you shrug, taking a sip of what you’re drinking. you feel the burn of alcohol scratch your throat.
“you could’ve called me.” he leans against the bar, raising an eyebrow.
you shake your head, “i really need to stop calling you.”
quinn laughs, “i don’t think you call enough, actually.”
you admire the way his smile reaches his eyes. he really was gorgeous. his looks weren’t the only reason you fell so hard for him, though. he was caring when he needed to be. when he wanted to be. he was soft and sweet. he was everything you wanted.
but he couldn’t be everything you needed.
“you’re right. normally you just show up unannounced to my place,” you quip.
quinn’s mouth goes dry a bit, looking at you with confused eyes, “i text first.”
“you’re normally already on the way.” another sip of your drink, and you notice the way quinn’s eyes follow your lips to the glass, “i don’t think you came over here for small talk, quinn.”
quinn scoffs, “what? we can’t at least act like friends?”
you feel a bitter taste on your tongue at his words, “no, we can’t. because friends don’t fuck like we do.” you place your glass down and turn your body to fully face him, “friends don’t kiss like we do. friends don’t know each other the way we know each other. friends don’t do what we do.”
quinn falls quiet. he’s speechless, your outbursts aren’t abnormal. but this one felt a little more personal than the rest.
you lick your lips, “we’re not friends.”
you walk out the bar that night with tears in your eyes.
why did you have to love him?
why did it have to be quinn?
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the nerve of quinn hughes.
quinn stands in your doorway, eyes drooping low, a cut on his cheek that’s starting to bleed again. quinn decided to show up at your door like you’re two main love interests in a movie and you’re supposed to fix him up.
“you should get that checked out.” you say, trying to stand your ground. he makes it hard though when he nods softly, eyes turning away from your gaze like you just kicked him.
“i did,” he starts, letting out a soft breath, “thought i might need a second opinion, though.”
you want to scoff and shut your door. tell him to fuck off. tell him you’re not his doctor. but the gaze in his eyes make you weak, and the scruff of his voice makes you feel small all over again. you’re victim to his weakness.
so, you step aside. and you hear the sigh of relief quinn let’s out when he steps foot inside. he takes off his shoes like a gentleman before looking back at you.
you take his hand softly, leading him to your bathroom. he follows quietly, no remarks or words are said the whole way there. even if it wasn’t a huge walk to your bathroom, it was the most quiet the two of you have ever been in one room together.
he leans against the counter of your sink as you gather supplies to clean the wound. “this is gonna sting.” you warn.
quinn just nods, looking at you with soft eyes. there’s a glow in his eyes when he looks at you, and you just wished things were different.
you place the gauze on his cheek that has alcohol on it, and he hisses. you see the way he scrunches his face in displeasure, and it makes you want to jump away at his reaction.
“told you,” you whisper.
quinn’s face relaxes and he can’t help the chuckle that falls from his lips. quinn found you so irresistably charming. quinn would do anything for you, in all reality. he was just so scared of committing to you, and you have your heart broken in the worst way possible. quinn was a hockey player. someone who travels quite frequently. he wouldn’t have enough time for you, and that hurt him more than the situation the two of you were in right now. he considered this safe.
when you finish cleaning his cheek and throwing away the gauze, he grabs your waist and pulls you in. you want to pull away, tell him that he’s all fixed up. that he doesn’t need your services anymore.
but you couldn’t.
he gazes at you, “you’re so beautiful up close.”
he doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he’s kissing you. and it’s nothing like all the other kisses. it’s softer, more meaningful. something that makes you want to drown in it.
and it’s so wrong.
this wasn’t who you and quinn were, or could ever be.
the kiss is short lived when you finally push him away, despite the ache in your heart when you do.
“goodbye, quinn.”
the words ring in his ears, and he doesn’t want to believe they’re true. but they are. and you’re close to breaking if he doesn’t leave the room that very minute.
luckily, he does.
and when you hear your front door shut, you lean against your sink where he once was minutes ago. your lips tingle, but your chest hurts. your hands are sweaty, but you feel a lump in your throat.
this wasn’t any good for you.
quinn wasn’t any good for you.
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you don’t know whether you should be furious or if you should fall to the ground crying.
quinn was kissing someone else.
someone that wasn’t you.
you had no claim on him. quinn had no claim on you.
you stand there in the hallway leading to his apartment, watching as he continues to suck face with another woman. when he finally pulls away, his face floods white when he catches eye with you.
“holy shit-”
you turn on your heel and walk away.
you can hear quinn trying to run after you. you feel tears pricking your eyes as you stop in front of the elevator, pressing the button more times than necessary. everything feels like it’s running in slow motion. like you’re slowly losing grip with reality.
your heart has dropped to your stomach when you feel a hand reach out for you. you feel your head spin when you snatch your arm out of reach.
“you’re not mine, damn it!” you scream, you sound mad. you sound crazy. “this shouldn’t hurt!” tears are falling as you hear the elevator make its way up to the floor you’re on. “this isn’t even real. we’re not real. but you made it feel real. the kisses, the dancing, the compliments, the hand holding. it confuses me, damn it!.” you’re hysterical as the elevator finally dings and opens.
quinn is left speechless, letting you scream at him. his heart is pounding in his chest. he never thought the guilt would hurt worse than anything he has ever felt. he never thought kissing someone else would feel so wrong.
you walk into the elevator, and the expression on your face as you press the button to the bottom floor makes his heart stop. you’re so broken. he broke you.
and, fuck, does it hurt.
“goodbye, quinn.”
your tone was different from last time you said it. this time he could hear the meaning behind it, like this was finally it. this was the last time he’d ever hear from you.
and his suspicions were right.
you blocked his number, didn’t answer the door for him anymore, even avoided all the places he normally would go.
you were finally saying no.
you were finally letting go.
time passes and the ache doesn’t stop. your tears fall on your pillow every time you hear a knock on your door. your hands clutch your sheets as you hear his voice through the door, pleading with you and begging you to listen to him.
you couldn’t do it anymore, though.
you couldn’t listen to him and his excuses anymore.
when quinn gave up, the weight of the world somehow felt heavier. you were so used to going back. so used to having quinn there, even if it wasn’t in the healthiest way.
quinn was routine for you. and now you had to break through that routine.
months go by. and when you see quinn again for the first time in six months, you give him a small smile of pity. you had heard a knock on your door, not expecting it to be him. quinn looked a little more put together than when the two of you would ‘hang out’. it may have only been six months, but a lot had changed. especially for you.
“i’m sorry.” he couldn’t help himself.
you just smile at him, nodding, “i appreciate the apology.”
quinn shifts on his feet, “can i come in?”
you let out a breath. maybe you were waiting for this kind of closure the whole six months you spent without him, you weren’t sure. but the ache no longer sat with you as you stared at him. the pain no longer made home inside your heart at the idea of him. you refused to let those things back in.
“no.”
you were saying no.
quinn came back, and you finally said no.
those were the last words you ever spoke to quinn hughes.
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43qh · 11 days
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preview for new fic
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43qh · 11 days
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Girl you’re an amazing writer don’t make me smack you 🤨
hahaha thank you gorgeous
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43qh · 11 days
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WHAT?! Gurla your writing is extremely delightful! Don’t doubt that.If you have trouble coming up with something, I know there has to be plenty of requests since your writing is top notch
thank you ! <3
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43qh · 11 days
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I forgot to send this before but I absolutely love your writing! I hope you’re doing good, take care of yourself. ☺️
thank you so much ! i hope you are too
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43qh · 11 days
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Babe, your writing is absolutely God sent. I regularly go back and reread your works because they are some of my favourite on this app. Come a little closer has me in a literal chokehold. I reread at LEAST once a day. I could go off and give you an in detailed list about how each of your fics was life changingly beautiful. (Although not right now, cause i have to write a final exam in ½hr haha 🥲)
Your writing is absolutely amazing, and I want you to know from your readers that your fics absolutely stick, and they are so beautiful and brilliant and nothing compares.
Love you, and keep doing what you're doing 🫶🏼🫶🏼
you’re so sweet, thank you so much for your love. i appreciate everyone who reads what i write. and i’m glad people don’t hate what i do.
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43qh · 11 days
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The way you write is simply beautiful. Praying over your health journey
thank you so much
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43qh · 18 days
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i feel like i lack in writing like i want to write something that sticks in the brain for awhile. i want to write something that feels fulfilling
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43qh · 22 days
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talk for a minute? (m)
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quinn hughes x fem!reader
genre: angst, smut, fluff
warnings: unprotected sex, creampie, yearning, self-doubt, rejection
word count: 4.6k
summary: your own vows to not associate with anyone your last year in college all comes crashing down the second quinn hughes enters your life.
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you made vows.
vows to yourself, at least. you’ll focus on studies, graduate with honors this coming year, no distractions. you made fucking vows. so when a man named quinn hughes has sudden interest in your loneliness, you scowl. your snarls and distaste in his presence hasn’t made him go away. not yet, at least.
quinn randomly popped into your life when he sat across you in your campus library. his eyes gleamed a pretty color you didn’t want to discover too deeply. you raised an eyebrow at the time, not sure why a man was sitting across from you, no books in hand. you didn’t know quinn back then. quite frankly, you didn’t know many people. you were a loner, if you will. you hated the term, though. you just chose your studies over friendships.
people could call you a prune all they want, it never deterred you. at least you’d graduate with your head held high.
so, when quinn approached you that day with a glimmering “hi”, you scowled. and he would try every day for the past three weeks trying to get something different, but it never worked. but he never stopped approaching you. never stopped pursuing you.
when quinn doesn’t show up at his usual time, you’re a little muddled in your seat. quinn made it a point to be punctual in your ‘meet ups’. so, when he comes an hour late, you scrunch your eyebrows at him.
he clears his throat a bit, trying to remain quiet in the library, “hi.”
you almost scowl in his face, but your demeanor was falling apart in front of his eyes. you sit still, “you’re late.”
quinn’s eyebrows raise, but he can’t stop the smile errupting on his face, “you noticed?”
you scoff, looking back at your books. he wanted you to notice. he wanted you to react. he craved it.
quinn rests his chin on his hand, elbow on the table, “if you’re wondering where i was-”
“i wasn’t.” you snark.
“-i had to call my mother. we do this monthly thing where she checks in on me.”
quinn being a mommy’s boy made you want to smile. you didn’t know much about quinn. you knew he played hockey, had two brothers, had lots of friends, and you knew girls flocked at him. quinn wasn’t bad looking. maybe he knew he was a looker, who knows. but knowing he was also a mama’s boy, added to your short list of what you knew about quinn. it was almost charming.
if only you didn’t have a reputation to uphold.
you don’t even nod in acknowledgment to his words about the call with his mother. you don’t look up, you don’t stop typing on your laptop. and quinn just sits like usual, in silence. you’re not sure what game he’s playing at, but you’re not sure you’re going to like it, whatever it is.
you didn’t even know the man’s name before he approached you, and now you know more than you’d like to. it made you scoff in your head.
only in his wet dreams will he get a chance to talk to you.
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you hate this.
you hate that quinn’s silence was starting to become a comfortable daily routine. you hated that you were starting to anticipate his entrance. you hated the coil in your stomach when he approached you after giving a familiar handshake to one of his friends.
you hate him.
he’s a nuisance. always in the way when you’re trying to concentrate. in all reality, you could probably find another place and spot to study. but you knowingly chose not to. and that’s really what kills you. you were tormenting yourself on purpose.
you were hating him on purpose.
“hi,” his familiar voice rings in your ears as you take notes.
you want to say ‘hi’ back. you want to greet him properly, let him into your world. you want to become apart of his world, maybe. your mind wins over your heart, though.
you stay silent, not daring to look up in fear that you’ll crack. quinn never pushes you for conversation. he simply sits quietly until you’re done with your studies for the evening. maybe that’s what drew you towards him. he was patient, never really, truly invading your space. quinn just sat in your bubble, silently scrolling through his phone. he doesn’t even strike up conversations, he just sits there.
is this infatuation?
were you really wanting to break vows for a man you barely knew?
you lick your lips, eyes flickering towards him for only a second, maybe even less than that. he was handsome, from what you gathered. he dressed nicely, his clothes neat and not a wrinkle in place. your nostrils flare as you get a small whiff of his cologne from where he sat. earthy and light.
he looked a bit too good to be true.
you sigh softly, eyes focused on your paper in front of you. your exams are close, and you can feel the anxiety start to creep up.
you were so consumed by quinn for the past few minutes that you were slightly behind on your preferred schedule. you frown, making sure to bury your nose deep into your notes.
you weren’t sure, but you swore you could see a soft smirk on quinn’s lips out of the corner of your eye.
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your resolve was disappearing.
quinn’s hair was wet, dressed in a loose sweater and sweatpants. his hands grip his phone a bit too tight. he greets you with a grunt, unusual to his chipper tone. it sent a shock down your spine. were you supposed to react that way to a frustrated man?
you sigh, trying your best to concentrate, but something was clearly bothering quinn as his brows furrowed in anger. your heart was aching for him.
god, you were aching for him.
as the weeks pass, doubt clouds your mind. what if this was a game to get you to talk? what if he just wanted what every other man wanted? what if he was playing with you?
all doubt leaves your mind for the moment when you notice the slouch in his posture.
“you okay?” you ask with a meek voice. it wasn’t like you to appear shy, someone with less resolve than what they’re credited for. but quinn breaks all your rules.
quinn looks up at you with a raised brow, “you’re asking?” his tone was playful.
you wanted to scoff and turn back to your books, but your body reacts quicker than your mind. “yeah.” you breathe. you sound out of breath, looking at him with a shy glint that almost drives him a bit crazy.
you were just so precious to him.
quinn didn’t see you as shy, quite the opposite actually. but seeing you fall apart just talking to him? he couldn’t help the fact that it boosted his ego. you were kind of known for blowing people off. so, when you asked about his well-being, he felt like he had to get on his knees for you.
not that he’d admit it.
“lost a game,” quinn tilts his head at you. watching your every move like you were bound to cower away any minute.
you nod, adverting eyes just for a split second before you’re greeted with a smirk on his lips. you twist in your seat a bit, “you’re smirking.”
“how am i supposed to stay composed?” he questions, leaning closer so his chest presses against the desk separating the two of you, elbows on the table, fingers interlocked after putting his phone down, “you’re just so cute when concerned.”
you puff your cheeks out, looking away from him completely. you wanted to brush off his compliment like you do with everyone else. you wanted to dig your nose in your books. you wanted to even possibly disappear.
at some point, you lose track of time. you’re not sure how long the two of you have been sitting in that awkward silence while you collect yourself. you’re not sure how long quinn has been looking at you.
you just know it’s longer than you would have liked.
“you’re conceited to think i was concerned,” you look at your laptop, not really bothering with your notes anymore, just simply looking away from quinn.
“so, you’re not?” he asks, leaning his head on his hand now.
you scoff, “you wish i was.”
“so what if i do?” he raises an eyebrow, “you barely know how to even look at me. i think it’d be a privilege to be cared by you.”
you squirm a bit in your seat, “what gives you that privilege then?”
quinn shrugs his shoulders, “only you know that.” he pauses, leaning back in his seat as he continues observing you, “but i’d be more than willing to get it, work hard for it. i know you’re a hard worker, how about letting me take over the hard work?”
you lick your lips, his words sounding more suggestive than you’d like them to. it sounds appealing to you. “work for it, then, i guess.”
quinn’s mouth sparkles in an infamous smile that makes your stomach flip, “giving me permission?”
you look at him finally, studying the way he looks at you. like you’re a challenge he’s not willing to give up on so easily.
“only for you.”
quinn doesn’t want to seem to ecstatic at your words, but he also hates the idea of you thinking he’s ungrateful. truth is, he’s more than ecstatic. he’s fucking off the wall happy. when those words slipped past your beautiful lips, he could hear birds start singing, he swears.
as the days pass, he slowly learns a little more about you. he can see how frightened you are. he can sense that a part of you hates this. hates the idea of him knowing you more than anyone else but yourself. he knows you’re guarded.
quinn doesn’t let it distract or deter him, though. he just patiently and slowly gets to know you more and more. he finally knows your favorite color, your favorite fruit, your favorite sweet. basic stuff that would normally bore someone, but in quinn’s reality, anything you give him is like gold. he even starts wearing your favorite color more often.
you notice the effort, and you can’t say you’re not affected by it. the closer you get to quinn, the more scared you get. but, also, the more curious you get. you would be lying if you said you weren’t interested in quinn, as well.
for all you knew, you could be signing up for your own downfall. but so could he.
maybe quinn wasn’t out to get you.
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you sighed, sitting on your dorm bed. your roommate had gone out like she usually does, leaving you alone in the room. your thoughts start to bounce a bit, drifting towards quinn, against your better judgement.
as you’re about to lay down after showering and changing into something comfortable, you hear a knock. you scrunch your eyebrows, wondering if your roommate forgot her key. when you open the door and are instantly greeted with a big smile from such a gruff man, you feel shock down to your feet.
“how are you here?” your voice was incredulous, looking at quinn with big eyes.
“walked,” he shrugged, licking his lips with a smirk on his face.
“no, i mean,” you roll your eyes, “how do you know my dorm?”
“your roommate told me.” he looks at you, “saw her walking down the hallway, and she said that if i was looking for you, you were here.”
of course she did. your roommate didn’t exactly disrespect your boundaries, but she definitely did want you to get out there more. she was kind and more extroverted than you’d ever be. you figured at some point she would catch on to the fact that quinn was around you. it’s not like she never caught the two of you at the library talking.
you huff, “so you thought it was okay to come here?”
quinn shrugs, “thought maybe we were getting closer.”
you bite your lip, and quinn’s eyes travel downwards on instinct. oh how he wished he could just kiss you. he had been thinking about it for awhile. a lot longer than he’d like to admit.
“i guess,” you finally answer, looking into his eyes with vulnerability and uncertainty. he so desperately wanted to wash away all your doubts. especially the one’s about yourself.
“gonna let me in?” he quirks an eyebrow, expecting you to scoff in his face and shut the door on him. but you do the opposite, stepping aside and nodding your head.
“my roommate will be gone for awhile.” you state as he steps inside with cautious steps. you could feel the tension increase the second the door closes.
quinn’s eyes looked concerned, “are you sure this is okay with you? i mean i-”
you nod, stepping closer to him, “yeah, i don’t mind.”
you wanted to say how much you hated the way you could smell his specific cologne and soap. you wanted to say how much you hated how close the two of you were. you wanted to say how much you hated how badly you wanted to kiss him.
but all the hate burns into something different. a beautiful pit in your stomach that makes you step even closer to him.
quinn tenses up at your advances, looking at the way your night shorts rose higher along your thighs. seeing the way your shirt dipped. it made him visibly gulp. you were a sight for sore eyes, and he was afraid he would lose control if you continued your advances.
you could feel his breath fan your face in anxious waves, making you smile to yourself at just how nervous he actually gets around you. he had a strong, flirtatious resolve. just like you had a strong, reserved resolve. maybe the two of you weren’t too different, afterall.
you stand still, and the room goes quiet. you don’t move any further, waiting and anticipating quinn’s next move in action. it all felt slow-motion. something out of a movie, maybe.
quinn slowly raises a hand to your cheek, and you lean into his touch. he let’s out a breath of relief, your eyes connecting. it felt like the world stopped spinning for him. like he was looking straight into the eyes of an angel.
he could feel your skin start to burn at his touch, and he wanted to touch you everywhere after that. he wanted to break, fall apart into your arms and take what you give to him. take what you allow.
god, maybe he was falling in love.
“lost for words, hughes?” your face was still cradled into his hand, and he swallows.
he’s breathless, “i think so.”
your smile ignites something within him.
you were burning a fire within him that he couldn’t contain.
“don’t speak, then.” you say, eyes glimmering in the soft shade of your lamp in your dorm.
he can’t stop himself from leaning to close the gap between the two of you. he stops just before your lips touch, looking for approval. he sees the way your eyes flutter close, and he takes it as a sign to softly press his lips to yours.
quinn fears for his life the second your lips touch. he fears he will never get enough of this. little does he know that when you reach up to place your hand in his hair, you’re thinking the same thing.
your lips move slowly, languidly. it’s like the two of you want to embrace the moment as it is. something just as simple as a kiss, but just as complex as a blossoming relationship.
quinn has careful hand placements, staying on your face while the other is lightly tugging you closer by your back. you have a hand in his hair still, your other placed respectfully on his chest.
it’s a kiss you never imagined having. a kiss you never thought you wanted until this very moment. your whole world shifts on its axel and you become consumed by the way his beard brushes against you, the way his lips capture yours in a sweetness like honey.
you were trapped in quinn’s hold.
quinn was trapped in yours.
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“how can you just say no?” quinn’s eyebrows furrow in frustration. he feels a slight sense of danger in the pit of his stomach when you turn to look at him.
“i don’t date, i don’t do dates. i can’t date.” you shook your head, scowling as you continue your walk towards your dorm. you felt like you were in some kind of romance show, and you hated it.
“says who?” quinn asks, following your trail like a puppy. he isn’t very subtle about how eager he has been to get to know you more as the days passed since you kissed. quinn became slowly more and more affectionate, throwing you off and messing with your head.
you purse your lips before responding, “says me.”
“so, you’re just going to reject me? for what reason?” quinn couldn’t understand you. he thought the two of you were genuinely getting closer. that he finally had a shot with you, especially after such a kiss that still sends tingles down his spine.
you’re almost at your door before quinn gently grabs your hand, making you stop in your tracks at the touch. he wasn’t pulling you towards him, no force involved in the act. it was all just pure instinct on your behalf on why you stopped.
you close your eyes and sigh before turning to look at him, “i need to make sure i graduate with honors, quinn. i made vows that i wouldn’t get involved with anyone, not even friends.”
“why? what good does that do?” quinn’s hand is cold against your own, “you’re doing so well. i’ve seen how hard you work, nobody can take that away from you. especially not me, i don’t even want to. i just want to..” he pauses, looking around as his cheeks turn a pretty pink, “i just want to be with… you.”
you want that too.
and your eyes soften at all the effort he has put in to getting to know you. to getting past all the doubts and walls you built up. no one has ever made the effort to know you as well as he does, and you’re not sure you’ll ever find that again if you let him walk away.
the idea of him no longer pursuing you and wanting you makes your heart ache. you wished you could hate it, but in all reality, you knew you wanted to keep pursuing and wanting him, too.
you were so used to being left alone before quinn arrived.
now you couldn’t imagine a day where quinn wasn’t there.
so, with strength, you grip his hand back. your warm hand surprises him when he feels your reassuring squeeze. he swears he could fall to his knees, kiss the ground you walk on. instead, he opts for kissing you.
it’s so rushed, emotions taking over as he grips your waist as if you’ll disappear. guilt washes over you when you realize that he does fear you’ll disappear. that you’ll walk away the second he stops kissing you.
you inhibitions are thrown out the window when quinn grabs your hand again, guiding you towards your dorm. you let out a soft laugh at his eagerness when he pulls the keys out of your jeans pocket to open the door. he sighs the second he realizes your roommate isn’t there, so fucking relieved.
he turns to kiss you again when he hears you shut your door, going back to how it had been just a few second ago. he was eager, so eager. he couldn’t help the way his hands trailed beneath your shirt and beneath your bra to cup your breast. he feels the gasp you let out between kisses, making him groan as he pinches your nipple just a couple times before pulling back.
you look disheveled, and he was so honored to be the reason why. when you approach him, he steps back. you frown, looking at him with concerned eyes.
“strip.” his words are demanding as he sits at the foot of your bed. he leans back, hands resting on your mattress. you swallow down your pride, quickly making rid of your shirt and bra. “all of it.”
his tone was husky, making you clench your legs together before following even more of his demands. it was like he had hold on you. he watched with hungry eyes, trailing all across your body as your lacy panties fall down with your jeans, leaving you vulnerable and left in nothing but socks.
he hums in appreciation before beckoning you towards him, and you don’t dare refuse. “i’m a bit underdressed here.” you whisper, and quinn chuckles a bit. he tugs at the seam of his shirt, pulling it over his head. he makes quick work of the buttons on his jeans and his boxers follow suit. you gasp a bit at the sudden action, adverting your eyes from his cock as it sprung up against his stomach.
quinn smirks to himself when he notices how shy you really, truly are. he grabs at your hand to bring you back to reality, your eyes meet, and it takes everything in him not to devour you completely. how could someone with such a strong head, have such a beautiful doe eyed expression when vulnerable?
“there you go, baby.” the nickname consumes you, swallowing you whole. your ears are ringing as you walk closer to him, feeling the soft pull of his hand to tug you towards him. “you’re gorgeous.”
he sounds breathless, like he’s seen nothing like it before. like it’s his first time seeing someone naked. it’s not, but you’re definitely the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in that very moment.
you make way to straddle him, and he hums in happiness, a smile spreading across his features. “want this cock, sweetheart?” he tilts to look at you, holding your face in one of his hands so you don’t look away.
you lick your lips, eyes glossy as they stay connected with his, “yes.”
quinn smiles, placing a soft kiss to your lips before flipping the two of you over. you let out a soft sound at the sudden change of scenery, him hovering over you with a determined look in his eye.
quinn reaches down, feeling just how soaked you are. “oh?” he perches an eyebrow up, slipping his fingers through your folds, “so wet already, could slide right in.”
“please,” your voice is meek, small but still breaking through the tension just enough to gather quinn’s attention. it honestly drives him crazy.
quinn groans, “wanted to tease you a bit more,” he says in defeat as he begins to line his cock up with your tight entrance, “but it’ll have to wait another time. really need to fuck you. been needing it for weeks.”
his confession makes the stretch he causes all the more pleasurable when he finally pushes in. you were so tight, making him stop the second he bottoms out. he really couldn’t handle cumming too fast right now.
your sounds are symphonies. he listens to every single one, making sure to pack them away for days he needed release and thought of you. he can feel the way you’re gripping so tightly onto his shoulders, almost like you’re trying to ground yourself.
everything about this moment was electrifying.
quinn kisses your temple, “gonna move, okay?” he waits for your eager little nod before he continues. he’s slow at first, groaning at the tight pull your pussy gives him. “you feel like a fucking dream.” his voice is coarse, struggling to keep composure.
you buck your hips up, “more. need more.”
he can’t stop himself now. not when your voice comes out in whiny little gasps. not when you’re rolling your hips up to feel even more of him. no, not when you’re allowing him to have you.
you gasp when he picks up speed, eyes rolling back as he hits a spot inside you that has you wrapping your legs around his torso. quinn observes all of your reactions, making note of where to thrust, how hard, how fast. and it all feels too good.
he can feel your fingers digging into his shoulders, your moans becoming increasingly louder with each thrust of his hips. it was all so magnetic, so natural between the two of you. nothing felt awkward as he fucked you.
when you start to feel a tug in your lower belly, you tug on his hair, “quinn..” you gasp, opening your eyes and seeing the sweat starting to form on his forehead. “fuck, i’m-”
“i know, can feel you clenching, baby.” quinn picks up his pace, more eager than before to see you cum for him. “cum on my cock, know you want to. need to see you, need to feel you.”
you squeeze your eyes shut as you feel the flutter of your cunt around his dick. you cum with a small squeak, moans falling out of your mouth relentlessly. it wasn’t like anything you’ve felt before. your own release triggers quinn’s, he really couldn’t help it with how tight your pussy clung to him and how beautiful you looked cumming for him.
he swears this was his heaven.
he needed you forever.
your labored breathing brought him back to reality as you slowly released your hold on him. he’s quick to grab tissues from your bedside and clean you up.
“uh,” quinn says awkwardly, staring at you after throwing away the tissues, “do you have a shower?” you smile to yourself before nodding, admiring the way he now looks less territorial, and more soft. he nods back before helping you up. “let’s shower, then.”
you don’t argue.
this seemed to be the end of fighting your feelings for quinn hughes.
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“i passed!” you exclaim, rushing towards your boyfriend as he makes quick work to catch you in a tight hug. “i did it, quinn!” your smile was so radiant, something he could never stop admiring.
quinn kisses your cheek, “of course you did, baby. i always knew you could.”
you look at him with excited eyes, “they’re all almost perfect scores, quinn.”
quinn nods, a smile adorning his beautiful features, “you’ve always had it in you.” he pauses before smirking, “see? i didn’t distract you too much.”
you scoff, wrapping your arms up around his neck, “you would’ve if i let you.”
quinn shrugs, knowing you were right.
when quinn approached you, you had to battle all your internal battles with yourself. you had to put down your vows for him, and still hold true to your word about graduating with honors. quinn frightened you, but it was in the best way possible.
quinn fought for you when you didn’t want to be fought for. at least, that’s what you thought. you didn’t know you needed someone like quinn hughes in your life before he showed up and turned your world upside down.
it’s such a cliché, it almost makes you sick.
but, for now, you’ll ignore it.
you lean up to kiss your now boyfriend, quinn hughes.
if you had never decided to talk that day in the library, you were sure you wouldn’t be so elated right now.
all it took, was to just talk.
talk just for a minute.
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43qh · 25 days
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i have been so unimaginably sick i’m so sorry. i’m not sure when i’ll release the new fic it’s not close to being done yet and i’m still running off antibiotics. just wanted to give an update real quick, thank you for being patient
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43qh · 28 days
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CREAMPIE QH43 ????? 🥵🥵🥵
hahaha yes ! quinn’s a bit flirtatious and protective in this fic and i think a creampie was needed
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43qh · 28 days
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new fic alert ! small preview below 😽🤍
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43qh · 28 days
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hi you’re my favourite writer on here im new to this and you inspired me to start writing. I love and will love everything you write. 🩷🩷
thank you, darling <3 i just know you’re super talented 💓
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43qh · 1 month
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if i was honest (m)
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quinn hughes x fem!reader
genre: angst, smut, fluff
warnings: unprotected sex, reminiscing, slow burn
word count: 5.1k
summary: it’s been over a year since you last saw quinn. why does it all still ache?
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you huff, looking up to the sign of your previously favorite coffee shop. how could it be that one singular person could ruin a spot for you? your favorite spot, at that. it doesn’t take long before your feet rush inside, the aroma of coffee and the warmth enveloping you like it once did a year ago.
you look around, eyes spotting the booth you usually sat. your heart speeds up when you remember that someone normally sat across you in that exact booth.
quinn hughes.
his name alone makes you shiver. you make note that that shouldn’t happen to you anymore. it’s been over a year, his name had to mean nothing to you.
except it was hard when his name was plastered all over vancouver.
you had no bad memories with him, and you guessed why it all hurt as bad as it did.
“this is going to be hard,” quinn sighs, looking at you with sparkling eyes. he had guilt ridden all over his face. you wanted to wash it away.
“no, it’s not, quinn.” you were lying. you were lying for him, and maybe even for yourself. “your decision is hockey.”
quinn purses his lips together, “i- well, no not-”
“quinn,” you stop him with a smile while grabbing his hands, “this is not up for debate. you’re gonna do so great out there. i mean, you have been. the traveling has gotten to the both of us. it’s okay to accept that we weren’t ready for this.”
you stare at him, eyes tearing up with a bright smile on your face. quinn hated this. he didn’t want his relationship to end with you just because his career was getting in the way. but, this was how it was. he had to make a strong realization that he didn’t exactly have a lot of time now that he had become captain of the Canucks. it didn’t mean his heart didn’t ache at the thought of letting you go over it.
you squeeze his hands, tilting your head up at him to bring him back to reality, “i’ll support you. i’ll love you forever.”
sitting in the booth now, alone, feels quiet. the seat is colder than you remember. coffee more bitter than you remember. seat across you more empty than you want it to be.
you sigh, clutching your coffee in your hands. a guilty part of you wishes you could hate him. but, even if you did, you would most likely still love him anyway. you wanted to hate him for the fact that you could no longer wear blue without being reminded of his eyes that shined into yours. you wanted to hate him for the fact that you rotted so deeply in your apartment for months. you wanted to hate him for all the sleepless nights. but you couldn’t.
no, you really couldn’t.
he was out living his dream, creating his life. you couldn’t hate him for doing what was best for him. what is best for him.
that didn’t stop you from knocking twice on the wooden table for good luck before leaving though, just like you and quinn once used to do. together.
maybe quinn has forgotten about you. it has been over a year now.
you hope he’s safe.
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“it’s a mistletoe, quinn.” you deadpan, looking at him as you hang it up in your hallway. quinn scrunches his nose. he always found those things a bit cringe. maybe cheesy traditions weren’t his thing, but they were yours. and he’d be willing to swallow his pride for you.
“now we kiss,” your smile is contagious, and quinn chuckles under his breath at your statement. his heart was being pulled by strings like he was a puppet you controlled as he walked towards you. your arms wrap around his neck.
quinn bares himself before actually kissing you. he has to admire the way you look under the christmas lights in the small hallway. he has to admire your smile and completely feel your touch before he can give in.
quinn has to sink himself into your world before he kisses you.
when his lips touch yours, he swears sparks erupt in his stomach. he can’t contain himself and he feels like he has to hold himself steady by gripping your waist with a soft touch. he’s not on earth anymore. at least, it doesn’t feel like it anymore. and you’re way up in the clouds yourself when you hear him sigh against your lips.
your eyes sparkle when you pull away, “not a bad tradition, huh?”
quinn laughs, shaking his head as he watches you with close eyes, “guess not.”
your hands put back the mistletoe. christmas is rolling around, and when you pull out old decorations, your mind wanders. you’re not sure if you want to cry or not. the memory was nothing to be sad about.
maybe it was just his absence during a holiday the two of you always spent together.
you sit on your couch, leaning your head back and staring up at the ceiling. this wasn’t the same place you made so many memories with quinn in. the ceiling was higher, the hallway was longer, and the rooms were bigger. you got your dream job, lived a little more in quinn’s absence. you moved somewhere you knew you wouldn’t catch quinn around.
changes weren’t easy. that doesn’t mean all of them were bad, though.
your sigh echoes and bounces off the walls. it’s empty and cold and quiet. something you had to become used to when you moved here. something you had to accept when you realized quinn’s laugh wouldn’t erupt in your ears anymore.
you had forgotten what he sounds like.
you were too afraid to look at interviews, his games, anything of the likes. you didn’t listen to his old voicemails, despite keeping them. and you never tried to talk to him.
his touch no longer lingered and his smell wasn’t around.
it was almost as if quinn never existed in your world.
but that wasn’t true. never could be.
he’d always live in your heart, no matter where you went.
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you had wishful thinking.
for months, you would wait for a knock on your door, a ring of your phone, even a letter in your mailbox. when all of the hope stopped, that’s when things stopped reminding you of quinn. that’s when you decided to move. that’s when you isolated yourself from the thought of him.
your wishful thinking only made you delusional, so you had to leave the only place you knew quinn hughes in.
some memories flutter back to times when the two of you would laugh on the same bed you slept in, but the room didn’t have the same acoustics. his laugh was foreign and it wouldn’t have sounded the same in the new apartment.
even after a year, you couldn’t say you were fully over him. how could you ever get over someone you were sure was your soulmate?
maybe it was right person, wrong timing.
whatever it was, you knew it would continue to consume you in some way.
it’s like you know quinn tastes like mint, a cool mint that gets mixed with fruity flavors sometimes. but you can’t taste it anymore. can’t get a grip on it.
quinn still lives within you.
quinn still haunts you.
it’s all irreversable. not saying you would turn back time and never be with quinn, but you certainly would have been more cautious with your feelings.
your sighs seem to fill the empty room of your apartment more than you liked. tears no longer fall, but the ache in your chest and stomach still linger. your sheets don’t smell like him anymore. your bed isn’t as warm as it was with quinn in it.
“why are we doing this?” quinn’s eyes are glossy. you’re not used to seeing him like this. it was such a desperate plea. almost like he was the voice of a beggar. he held no shame as he gripped your waist, holding you tightly to try and remember the feeling of you.
you shake your head, “quinn,” you look at him like the stars align with him. it makes this hurt even more for him. how could you walk away? how was he supposed to walk away? “your new life will bring you happiness.” your hand lingers on his cheek, “i wish no pain.”
“this is painful.” quinn was quick, tears threatening to fall down his red cheeks. “will i ever see you again?”
if you were honest, you would have said no. “maybe.”
quinn looks past you for a moment, “we’ll find each other.” he states, “we did before, we will again.”
we did before, we will again.
coming home from work, you’re greeted by the empty walls of your apartment again.
oh, how you wished that were true.
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“you’re saying you wouldn’t walk the aisle in my jersey?” quinn quirks an eyebrow, a small smile creeping on his lips.
you scoff, “no, quinn.” you smile back despite the huff in your answer. “if it matters that much, though, i’ll get a tattoo of your number or something.”
quinn smiles at you, full teeth showing, “you’d do that?”
you hand him a dish to place in the dishwasher, the last one, “for you? anything.” even if you had never believed in tattooing things on your body to remind you of people close to you, you would do it for quinn. did this make him different from the rest in your life? maybe. all you knew now, was that you were in love.
“i’d honestly just want you as my wife as soon as possible.” quinn looks sincerely as you both dry your hands after washing them. “i’d marry you now.”
you drape the rag around the handle of your oven, looking at him with a serious gaze, “wait a bit, loverboy. we’re still young.” you chuckle to yourself. quinn leans in to place a soft kiss.
“for you? anything.”
does he think about you the same time you think about him?
are his thoughts as clouded as yours are when the night turns cold on you? when the bed feels empty? when the air feels strict?
does he try to grasp for the feeling of you the same way you do for him?
quinn’s absence taught you how to be alone. how to deal with being lonely. you no longer wanted this fate.
the fate you both had picked for one another.
how was it fair?
to act as strangers when your wedding was talked about?
to act as if you never exchanged looks of love?
to act like nothing mattered anymore?
you clench your jaw, looking up at the coffee shop sign again. you feel rage all the way down to your feet as you wonder why this had been your fate.
life doesn’t play you like chess pawns, though.
you chose this.
when you walk into the aroma of coffee, your body stills when you smell a scent you hadn’t in over a year. it was like your body was registering the fact that your familiarity towards quinn hughes had never gone away, it had just been pushed back.
your booth. he’s sitting at your booth.
when he looks over, it’s like the two of you felt a string that once was snapped apart, snap back together. the natural attraction wasn’t new, but it had been over a year since you’ve felt it. since you’ve seen his face. his hair looked fuller, his face more scruffy, his eyes a little more dull.
you couldn’t stop the way your feet dragged towards the booth. your eyes not leaving his. the ache is indescribable. the pain shooting through your bones, down your spine, to your feet.
you sit across him, just like you used to.
quinn breaks the long silence first.
“i knew you weren’t being honest when you said ‘maybe’.” he confesses. your spit feels lodged in your throat as he continues, “but i was being honest when i said we would find each other again.”
tears prick your eyes. if you had been honest, maybe he would have moved on. even while knowing your dishonesty, though, he held hope for you. quinn wasn’t someone who gave up, even when being deceived.
you lick your lips, “i know.”
“someone told me they saw you here,” he clarifies why he was there, “no one had heard from you since we broke up. everyone said it was like you shut the whole world out.”
“i got a steady job.” you try to rectify your actions. “new apartment.”
quinn leans back, eyes studying your position, “somewhere not too close to me, i’m guessing.”
you look away, before nodding your head, “i think i dealt with it all too wrong.”
“no,” quinn says. “you did it your way. the only way you knew how.” he pauses, “so did i.”
you look at him, a tight breath in your chest. his gaze was strong, but you could still feel the softness behind his eyes. you wanted to fold, forget you ever left him. but you knew that wasn’t possible. you both left. you both let go.
“i never forgot you,” your confession lingers.
“me neither.”
how could either of you forget one another?
“i’m going to leave my number,” quinn states, slipping you a note that was pre-written already for your viewing, “i don’t expect to hear from you. but, knowing you have it, will bring me peace.”
those were his last words before he walked out the shop. you watched his stride, a lot more confident than back then. his complexion more pale. his shoulders more broad.
you look down at the number.
quinn made it your decision.
your final decision.
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two weeks, two days.
it’s been two weeks and two days since you’ve last seen him. since he gave you his number. it’s also been two weeks and two days since you last spoke to him. your anxiety rides up your stomach every time you look at the digits on the paper made just for you. the paper taunts you as you lie to it, saying you don’t want it.
you managed to occupy yourself with work in the hours you could. but once your back hit your bed, everything comes back full force. the memory of quinn’s eyes boaring into your own. the memory of how scratchy his voice sounded. the memory of how you could still detect his cologne and shampoo through the coffee accents in the room.
it’s all too much, really.
you thought it wouldn’t ache like this anymore.
it’s been a year, afterall. how could it all ache the same way when you both departed? how could he feel so familiar and unfamiliar at the same time? how could his presence alone cause so many sleepless nights?
the obsession over a paper with numbers on it became unhealthy. you were scared to contact him. what if it was all different? you weren’t ready to see how different his life had become without you. you could already see some physical differences, but those eyes he carries never changed how he looked at you. you saw a sparkle when his eyes came into contact with yours. you saw the way he watched with diligence.
you were sure quinn wanted to approach you slowly, with care. you were sure quinn didn’t plan on giving you his number the second he saw you. but you also know that when he sees you, his emotions consume him first. he wasn’t at fault for that.
his heart was too big for you.
you always managed to be logical when it came to quinn. you thought letting him go was the right, logical thing to do. you know it burned the both of you straight through hell, but you only knew how to make logical decisions.
that’s why his number sat so long on your kitchen island.
if you call him, your love was no longer logical.
who were you if you weren’t logical? who were you, if not who you’ve always been?
your eyes flutter shut as you lay in bed, eyes watering as you torture yourself further.
maybe being logical didn’t fit in this situation any longer.
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three weeks, 6 days.
you sigh as you press the elevator button to your apartment floor. work was your escape right now. and it seemed to please your boss with the way you stayed a little extra longer each night. your coworkers were worried, though. your eyes were drawing foreign bags, your hands more shaky than they used to be.
when you hear the ding of your floor, you walk slowly out the metal doors. you turn right, dragging your feet in the heels that were starting to ache. you drew in a breath of shock when you see a silhouette of a man you knew all too well. you pout, walking towards your door and seeing the way his eyes drew to the sound of your heels.
he leans against the wall beside your apartment door, eyes looking at you like you’re what he’s been looking for all his life.
“are you stalking me now?” your voice sounded tired, trying to make a joke.
quinn pushes off the wall, “you never called.”
“so you decide to come to my apartment?” you raise an eyebrow, reaching into your purse for your keys.
quinn rubs his hands together in an anxious manner, “you may not need me anymore,” he’s wrong, “but i need you.”
you pause after you twist the key into your lock, the unlocked door now taunting you. begging you to let him in.
against all judgement, you do.
“come in,” you walk inside first, letting the door linger open for him to follow. and he does, hastily collecting himself as he enters the room.
you were right. this was a new apartment. maybe too new. it looked nothing like your previous one, and he assumed it was because you needed a big change after him. he wondered just how much of you remained the same. he was sure you wondered the same thing about him.
quinn can smell the familiarity of your perfume, your favorite candle lingering in the air. he can even smell your shampoo and conditioner. it was all too familiar, and he wasn’t sure if it was suffocating or comforting.
he spots the couch in the living room, the same couch that was in your old apartment. it made his heart ache. he remembers just how many times the two of you accidentally fell asleep there, exhaustion consuming the both of you.
“yeah, i never had the heart to get rid of it.” you break the silence, placing your heels in the shoe rack by your door. “held too many memories.”
quinn nods his head, eyes locking with yours as he tears away from the couch. “i wouldn’t be able to either.”
you’re so close. he could touch you if he really wanted to. if he reached a hand out for yours, he could hold it. but he resorts to placing his hands into his pockets that itch for the comfort of your soft hands in his.
“why did you come here? it can’t be just because i never called,” you look at him with furrowed brows, reading him too clearly.
quinn shuffles where he stands, your gaze piercing right through him, “you still know me too well, huh?”
you look away for just a split second, “it’s not like i could shut it off if i wanted to. i know you know me too.”
you weren’t wrong. “you may not want me back. and i know that you still think you’re doing the right thing. but what is love if not fighting for it?” quinn’s words linger in your ears. “i’m not good with words, you know that. but when i saw you in the coffee shop, i felt like there was so much i could have said. so much i maybe should have said.”
you look at him and cross your arms, unable to say anything as he rambles back on.
“love is letting myself love someone, even though i’m still scared. it’s such a heavy thing we all carry,” quinn was never this deep. never really searched for the right words before this. “but i have to let it carry me as much as i carry it. and if i can’t carry you along with me, i think i’ll be holding out for love forever.”
you swallow, eyes tearing up despite your better judgement. you wanted to have a mind not carried by emotions. you worked so hard for it. but when it came to quinn, you knew he would win. every single time, he would win first.
“when did you become so poetic?” you sniffle out a joke, trying to lighten up the heavy mood. it doesn’t really work as you feel the weight of his words hold you down.
“when you left. when i left.”
quinn’s eyes search yours, he can see the tears brimming your wonderfully beautiful eyes. he hates to be the one to cause you so much pain, but he needed you to hear the words he’s been holding down his throat for too long.
you reach out a hand, and quinn is quick to take his hands out his pockets to reach for you. your hand is warm, while his are cold. the contrast between the two of you makes you both flinch a bit. the touch was electric, though. something you hadn’t felt in such a long time. something you knew would only be made from quinn.
you drag him closer to you, and his feet drag to you like a lost puppy. he was willing to receive anything you give him. anything.
you can smell the familiar cool mint, figuring he had previously chewed a piece of gum before seeing you. he was so close, making your body burn in its place.
“we should stop hurting one another,” you state.
“then let’s stop.” quinn leans closer to you, looking into your eyes, pleading with you.
you don’t say anything. the both of you quiet, the room an eery silence that sends shivers down your spine. you can feel quinn inching closer. and you can feel the way you don’t stop him.
when quinn’s nose brushes against yours, he takes a deep breath. you part your lips in a way that catches quinn’s eye. he expected you to push him back, say something that will be the definite end for the both of you. but when you just flutter your eyes shut in anticipation, he doesn’t miss the chance to kiss you.
and, god, do you ascend back to heaven.
your arms wrap around his neck, his hands finding purchase on your waist. he rubs soothing circles with his thumbs, making you hum into the kiss. it was slow, deep. something that held a certain type of ache that only the two of you could ever feel. it was a burning passion of hope. it was a kiss of forgotten hurt.
quinn swears he could stay like this forever. the feeling of your soft lips back on his after a year without it, nothing compares. the feeling of your fingers loosely gripping his hair. the feeling of your body pressing against his own. he could feel the goosebumps creeping up on his skin, despite the warm feeling in his chest.
you couldn’t find it in yourself to hold away anymore. his touch was heaven. his scent was your home. his presence was where you wanted to be. needed to be. you could deny just how much you needed him for the rest of your life, but you knew you would be lying.
if you were honest, this was where you belonged most.
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quinn was patient. he’d call you when he couldn’t come see you, come see you any chance he could. and quinn made no advances that weren’t initiated by you first. there were a few kisses after the first in a long time, and it still felt the same as it always did. like you were being sent to heaven, despite the sins you may have commit.
a month passes, and quinn was slowly becoming part of your daily routine like he used to be. he was all too familiar, and yet unfamiliar all at the same time. there were some changes about quinn, but it was mostly either physical or with the way he loved you. quinn’s love always ran deep. but, this time, it seemed like he was willing to hide it all a bit better just not to scare you off. the thought makes you feel guilty. he knows you’re still walking on eggshells, and so he does too.
he responds to you perfectly. always saying what you need to hear. always being at a distance that makes you most comfortable.
tonight felt different, though.
you needed him closer.
when you kissed him this time, it felt feverish. it felt needy. quinn responded back with a scratchy groan, sending a shock through your system as you tugged him closer. he had only just walked through your front door before you were latching onto him, making him stumble a bit but catching his ground just as quick. he could feel the way one of your hands clutched tightly to his shirt. he could taste the chapstick on your lips, eagerly kissing you back like you needed.
quinn doesn’t take it a step further, despite your whines in his mouth. he can feel himself harden at the sound, but opts for just clutching onto your hips a little tighter to hold himself back.
“please, quinn,” you breathe as you barely give the boy some space between the two of you. not that he’d ever complain. “i need you.”
quinn’s hands find purchase beneath your shirt, feeling the way your skin burns just for him, “are you sure? we can wait a lifetime if you need to.”
“no, i’m so tired of waiting.” you kiss his jaw, making him hum. “made us both wait too long.”
you knew it was only a matter of time before you became full putty in the hands of quinn hughes. and you knew he would take care of you, no matter the circumstances. so, he agrees. nodding his head and kissing you slowly this time, almost selfishly agreeing to your terms.
when he makes way to your bedroom, he lets himself be consumed by everything you. when he looms over you, your back pressed into the mattress, you feel loved again. quinn takes his time taking off both of your clothes, letting room for you to stop and say no. but you never do, not even when you’re fully naked and looking more beautiful under the moonlight that glooms your bedroom.
quinn’s dick is just as you remember, but you can’t say you remember what it really felt like to have him inside you. you bite your lip in anticipation, looking up at him with innocent eyes that make him shudder.
“we can stop-”
“please, quinn.” you reach up, running a hand along the scruff of his cheek, “i love you.”
you were honest.
quinn doesn’t seem to need more than that as he quickly makes way towards your entrance, “i love you, too.” he kisses your temple as he easily slides into you, “forever.”
you can hear the strangle in his voice as he bottoms out, making you gasp and do your best to adjust to his size. you haven’t given yourself to a man since he left, making you squeeze your eyes shut with belated breaths and soft whines as you feel him fill up every corner of your cunt.
“so good,” quinn whispers in your ear, making you clench involuntarily. he groans at the sensation, “so tight, so wet, so warm.”
when he finally begins to move, you swear up and down that this was the best you’ve ever felt. your moans are uncoverable, loud and bouncing off your walls in a melody that quinn never wants to forget.
“f-feels so good,” you mutter out in a broken string of moans, stroking his ego just a little bit.
quinn nods, “fuck, yeah.” his voice was deeper, more hushed.
the movement of his hips pick up when he feels you start to clench more, delving into you in almost a selfish pace. he makes sure to check your facial expressions every now and then, making sure you’re still comfortable. when he feels your nails claw his back and your legs wrap around his waist, he no longer feels doubt. it’s all pure bliss for the both of you.
this was love.
“want to make you cum for me,” he huffs, “cum on my cock.”
quinn’s words hit straight through your gut, and you’re so close to your pent up release. quinn would be lying if he wasn’t, too.
quinn’s thrusts become a bit sloppier, but deeper, triggering a strong release within you suddenly. your pussy clenches as tight as possible around him, making him grunt as he follows with you, spilling his white, hot cum inside you. the feeling sends shivers down your spine, feeling more connected to him at the action.
when your breaths slow, you release your tight hold on him. quinn places a chaste kiss on your lips before going to grab a washcloth, cleaning the both of you.
“stay the night,” you look at him, and he can see the way your eyes drift with a nervous intent.
quinn only smiles, placing his boxers back on and grabbing you a fresh set of clothes, “of course.”
sleeping in his arms was home.
and it continued that way for such a long time. the two of you going just a few more months without labels needed. but it all felt like he had never left. like you had never left either.
the ache of your past still comes back every now and then, but quinn is right there by your side any time you start to doubt yourself.
“how do i deserve you?” you question, and quinn just shakes his head.
“how do i deserve you?”
old memories became washed out with new ones.
when quinn finally asked you to try again, all you could do was grin. your kiss sealed the deal, and the both of you swore to never be scared like that again.
to let love be.
this was you finally being honest.
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43qh · 1 month
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ending up going fluff ending
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