1yyyyyy1

[1yyyyyy1]

endless grey №9

lonely isle on the Wrenhaven

[1yyyyyy1]

How did you brainstorm what sort of fashion/aesthetics/looks appealed to you? I feel deeply inspired by your recent post about LOA (thank you!), but I'm not sure where exactly to "window-shop" to see what sort of outfits are an option and what appeals to me. I was thinking of Pinterest, but it tends to be quite mediocre with its suggestions. Are there any other places/sites you could recommend?

For me, majority of my ideas come from artworks and video games, especially comic book characters and it is what I get inspired by for the most part. If randomizing images is not working out for you, you could start taking note of the actors, fashion models and fictional characters you are drawn to to further research their outfits or recombine these outfits into something that fits your personal taste. I save all kinds of pictures even to this day, from online shop previews and stills from music videos, and putting them in a single folder to come back later on really helps with figuring out the general theme of your current preferences because a pattern is almost guaranteed to form itself that way. There is also good old people-watching, but I find that a bit awkward and am in general content with the methods I'm already using, so I find that redundant.

You are welcome :) Glad to know that my advice is useful.

#ask #LOA

[1yyyyyy1]

Stop comparing yourself to everybody else. Comparison is the thief of joy. You're on your own journey. Any comparison is false. It’s you vs you. Focus on who you were yesterday vs who you are today. That's the only progress that matters. 1% better, everyday.

#humans learn through comparison... #by perceiving themselves in relation to other people and discerning which changes are needed to be made #by comparing yourself to yourself you are limiting the horizons of your perception #the answer is to stop viewing it as a negative thing

[1yyyyyy1]

the leading cause of illness and disease is narcissistic abuse

[1yyyyyy1]

Dunwall

[1yyyyyy1]

Letting life happen to you is basically giving up control of your life.

When you let life just happen to you, it's like you're sitting in the passenger seat of your own life, letting someone or something else take the wheel. It's a bit like floating along a river without paddling- you might end up somewhere nice, but more likely, you'll just get carried wherever the current is strongest, which might not be where you wanted to go.

Taking control of your life means grabbing that paddle and steering yourself in the direction you want to go. It's about making conscious choices and decisions that align with your goals and values, rather than just reacting to whatever comes your way. This doesn't mean you can control everything—life is full of unexpected twists and turns. But it's about how you respond to those surprises, choosing to take proactive steps towards your goals rather than just letting things happen.

Imagine setting a goal to improve your health. Letting life happen might mean you end up eating whatever's convenient or skipping exercise because you're busy. Taking control means planning your meals, carving out time for exercise, and making choices that support your health goal, even when it's challenging.

#if you don't take control over your life other people will and they will sexually abuse you while they are at it

[1yyyyyy1]

How do you act like you already have the appearance you want? Would you purchase things (ie clothes) that would fit the body type you want, or is it purely mental?

Sorry if this is intrusive. LOA has been on my mind for a while.

Personally, it was a purely mental thing for me at first, mainly because the only thing I knew at the time was that I simply disliked my appearance, I didn't know what I wanted it to be and what changes I wanted to make to be at peace with it. What I knew was that these changes had to be major, like dyeing my hair and completely changing my wardrobe, and that I was not ready to take these steps in the real world because I didn't want to be spending money on something I was unlikely to wear again or ruining my hair. Another thing I noticed about myself back then was that I had been gravitating towards a specific look for a while, that was the clue I needed to figure out the direction I wanted to take my style to and how I started to piece it together by working out color palettes and saving pictures that were similar to the vision I had for myself. I did end up buying some accessories to make it easier for myself, but this process was for the most part mental for me because my goal was mental as well.

If you are anything like myself, you are still in the process of figuring out which features you like and dislike about yourself and it can be difficult for you to understand your own preferences or feel like you are embodying attractiveness by being yourself, and I have resolved this by projecting my personality on the women I find attractive and "complete" in my eyes to try and see what it would be like for me to embody their appearance. It has actually taken me just a few minutes to realize that I was right about my unwillingness to be around men and that it was not coming from a place of insecurity; if anything, I was even more protective of the image of my preferred self... I would continue to imagine myself in different social settings that way to understand which features I was being drawn the most to and to make it clear to myself that my aversion towards male company was about my boundaries and not some kind of self-hatred because, as I always mention, imaginary scenarios are an authentic experience to your brain even if it does not seem that way and is a safe way to figure out your priorities. At some point, your sense of self will take over and you will start implementing the traits that have resonated the most with you into your own appearance!

My overall advice would be to worry about your body features less and to focus on your personal style instead, for the simple reason that you might end up liking some of the features you find unsavory through a change in clothing or hairstyle — a fitting haircut can make for a shocking change and absolve you of the negative perceptions you have about your face, which is miles better than wondering about whether or not you should be going for a cosmetic procedure. A similar thing goes for clothes and you might end up finding out that you do not dislike your body as much as you think you do, you could simply be invested in shapes and proportions that do not suit you. I should say that creating an image board is the best and the fastest way to visualize your preferred look, it is likely that you will be drawn to a specific style and set of features even if you are overall undecided and you can take your decision from there.

#ask #LOA

[1yyyyyy1]

If Jeannette sees you steal a squiff, you'll be hound's meat.

[1yyyyyy1]

When you put good stuff out into the world, it comes back to you.

[1yyyyyy1]

[1yyyyyy1]

Whenever you give up on what you believe in or change who you are just to get someone's approval, you're really not doing yourself any favors. If someone doesn't vibe with the real you, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or them. It just means they're not your kind of people, and that's okay. It actually frees up room for those who really get you and appreciate you for who you are.

[1yyyyyy1]

If you are a nasty, traitorous woman who thinks bad thoughts about fellow victims of patriarchy, you have my permission to make yourself a cup of tea and treat yourself well for the rest of the day. Then you can come back the next day and read this again.

[1yyyyyy1]

[1yyyyyy1]

[1yyyyyy1]

restrict an errant mind before it becomes fractious and divided. can two enemies occupy the same body? no, for the first will direct it one way, and the second another, until they stumble into a ditch and its neck is broken. likewise, two contrary thoughts cannot long abide in a man's mind, or he will become weak-willed and subject to any heresy

[1yyyyyy1]

There is a tip I want to share that could be helpful in dealing with dissociation — or, at the very least, the decision paralysis that comes with it. It isn't necessarily related to psychology, but it does get to show that solutions can come from the most unexpected of places.

A few years ago I was going through a dark period in my life, and, at the time, my brain was having a very hard time processing what was happening, meaning that I could barely believe that the world around me was real. In this state any action you take can seem pointless because you are unsure if it would make any difference since your surroundings and existence do not feel real to yourself, or even dangerous because sometimes you delude yourself into thinking that your circumstances are something they are not — like believing that you are behaving dementedly in front of a crowd while you are in the safety of your home.

During that period I came across a video about a philosophical concept that can be basically summarized as having to establish a baseline when dealing with unreality. In science and philosophy, it is acknowledged that we do not quite know what consciousness is or if the world around us is not a figment of imagination; and the issue with this indecisiveness is that it can induce the exact decision paralysis I am talking about. For this reason, science accepts the immediate reality as the baseline to move forward with its analysis, and this is the mindset I turn to when I feel dissociation creeping up on me.

I may not know if what I am perceiving is real, but nothing will come to fruition if I do not presume that it is.

[1yyyyyy1]

pay attention to the lifestyles of those who live by this, they settle for the exact things they want