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1stworstmomever-blog · 5 years

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So...

I made a salad and roasted brussel sprouts...

And my kid got their own bowl to make their own salad...

And used their water cup for brussel sprouts...

*scared parent noises*

What alternate universe am I existing in?

Now, I'm being schooled in etiquette and manners.

*panicking parent noises*

#worstmomever #kidseatingvegetables #salad #brussel sprouts #tip your mom #mercuryretrograde

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1stworstmomever-blog · 5 years

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Cute🙀😍💖🤟

Kirby Food Figures released by Takara Tomy

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1stworstmomever-blog · 5 years

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Yay! Yet another show my kiddos can become addicted to on cable TV! Can't wait to be harassed in the toy aisle by all of the CUUTE toys.

If you think I'm being sarcastic then 🙄 quit that! I love my kids and their obsession with Nick because we are forever bonded watching Spongebob.

wtf the new blue’s clues theme slaps

#worstmomever #parenting #cabletv #bluesclues #imisssteve #cuteanimation

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1stworstmomever-blog · 5 years

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Just found out that a graduation party was "kid free". My spouse and I played rock paper scissors to see who goes.

I lost.

#worstmomever #parenting #momnotmaid #parentingfail #laundryfordays #laundrysucks

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1stworstmomever-blog · 5 years

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1. Picked my kids up from the bus stop.

2. They complain they are hungry and ask me for a snack before I go to work, a normal occurence. They see the ice cream in the freezer.

3. They politely promise me that they will save me half.

4. I cave and give them the benefit of the doubt.

5. Come home from work.

6. Eat what was left: a tablespoon of ice cream.

Don't have kids if you can't get over people taking advantage of your kindness. They are tiny cons.

#worstmomever #parenting #thatsmine #notanymore #ice cream #afterschoolsnack

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1stworstmomever-blog · 5 years

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Somebody please send me wine.

#worstmomever #parenting #onemillionselfiechallenge #fuckyoumom #thebird

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1stworstmomever-blog · 5 years

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We are bored so we shared a whole wheel of edam cheese and made fake nails out of the wax. They ripped them off in 5 mins but still cute while it lasted.

#worstmomever #parenting #cheesewax #cheesenails #edamcheese

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1stworstmomever-blog · 5 years

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Ovulation on Mother's Day, gawddamnit

My ovulation calendar says I'm dropping an egg on Sunday, May 12th aka Mother's Day, so unless I want baby #4 to be my Mother's Day gift, I can't do SHIT with Baby Zaddy Thor until 2 to 3 days after. And I don't want Baby #4 for Mother's Day!