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"um OP i didn't understand a word of this?" that's because it's not for you. it's for the odd women who live in my phone and they're all giggling and hitting the like button and squeezing my shoulders and saying "another perfect post handsome :)" move along

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the bridge troll when i refuse to answer his riddle:

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My dinnar 💪💯❗💥

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i don't want boy pussy i want Man CUNT i want that pussy that's gonna grab my dick and shake it FIRM like a job interview

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I'm sure tumblr would never, but hey. No sense tempting fate.

#important

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full-force slamming my cock into a cliff face that ive painted to resemble a pussy after watching the roadrunner fuck it with ease

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I want to fuck your throat

my thrussy!?!?

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crystal beptism

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Reblag to fuck me nasty

I think the world needs less social networks

🧑‍💻🚫

and, more mycelium networks!!!

🍄✅

"LIKE" if u agree

"REBLAG" to fuck me nasty

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I love when people criticize tiktok and then the notes are full of people like "ok but tumblr is just as bad" no bitch it isn't. imagine if popularity was determined by how hot you are. imagine how much that would suck. not for me of course i'd rock that shit but imagine it for you guys

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I'm reblogging old posts so I could impress a hot guy I just met

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I never understood why "Sucks dick" means "Thing nobody likes" should be the polar opposite "This meal is so good, it sucks dick!" You know? OH SHIT

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Which is creepier, this animatronic Elvis I ripped the face off of while disassembling it, or this selfie with me wearing it’s face?