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yoursselo · 1 day

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ob this was so emotional. in a world of boys our masey is a gentleman 🩷

what a nice read! thank you so much, you are extremely talented. so glad you are back 🩷

Can't Be Mine

Mason Mount x Reader Angst / Fluff Italics = Flashback

Author’s note: I’m back. Kinda at least. Like I explained before I’m currently in struggle city and have no clue how to get out of it…I’ve been wanting to write this trope for as long as I can remember and after a quick chat with my lovely Loz @mountttmase, I eventually managed to be inspired enough to write this.

I hope you’ll like it! As always, feedback is very much appreciated. Especially now that I’m finding myself in a bit of a slump. Thank you, love you loads! 🩷

When your alarm went off at 6am, you weren't half as annoyed as you usually would be and, against all human nature, you jumped out of bed and into the shower, a soft hum of a song, that was stuck in your head, following you.

You weren't a morning person, far from it in fact, as you normally needed at least an hour and a coffee to function properly, but after yesterday you felt like all the happiness of the earth had gathered in your heart.

“I really don’t think I want to say goodbye yet.”, you pouted, feeling genuinely sad you’d reached your front door. The date that was just about to end had been the best you’d been on in a while, and you hated how these past few hours had basically flown by.

“Neither do I, but it’s late and I don’t want you to be grumpy tomorrow morning and annoy your colleagues.” Mason flicked your nose lovingly and the way you scrunched it had his heart squeezing in his chest. You were too adorable for your own good.

“I know.”, you sighed. “I genuinely enjoyed today a lot, Mase. Thank you.” You squeezed his hand that had been wrapped around yours ever since he’d helped you out of his car.

“No need to thank me. I enjoyed it just as much.”, he smiled. “And I’d love to see you again.”

When you simply nodded in confirmation, a blush coating the tops of your cheeks, Mason leaned down. For a second you thought he was going in for a kiss on the lips, something that for you felt a little hasty, but you soon felt his lips pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“Good night, y/n.” The soft smile he sent your way had the butterflies in your tummy going mad. Especially as halfway to his car, he looked back and waved again, chuckling when you did the same.

It was insane how quickly this man had you falling for him.

And with that memory basically engraved into your mind, the drive to your office wasn’t half as annoying as it usually was.

It wasn’t that you hated your job. Quite the opposite actually and up until this day you still couldn’t believe you’d manage to land a job at Manchester United.

Back then, it had actually just been a silly ‘bet’ between you and your dad. Towards the end of your time at university, you’d been looking at several job offers and companies, unsure of where to apply and one day, a job offer at the football club had come up.

You’d laughed if off, saying they wouldn’t take you anyway so there would be no use to put time and effort in an application, but your dad being your dad had insisted they would. So in an attempt to prove your point, you’d applied anyway and to your biggest surprise, they’d invited you for a first interview.

And even after the years you’d spent working for them already, you still enjoyed every single day with your colleagues.

“Morning.”, you smiled brightly as you entered your shared office. Your work bestie Anna was already comfortably working away. She looked up from her keypad, obviously a little confused by your good mood this early in the day.

“You look awfully happy, y/n. Something you want to tell me?” Anna took a sip from her coffee and leaned back in her chair; her watchful eyes following your every move in hopes to figure out what had happened.

“No.”, you grinned. “No, I don’t think so.”

“You got some last night!”, she exclaimed, causing you to shush her instantly. The door was closed, but obviously nothing was soundproof, and you didn’t need this week’s rumours to include you.

“No, I didn’t, Anna.” You rolled your eyes when she sighed dramatically. “But I did go on a date.”

Your colleague and friend gasped in surprise. After years of sharing an office with you, she could recall the times you’d actually gone out with someone on one hand and you admitting it on a random Tuesday morning hadn’t been on her bingo card at all.

“No way, I didn’t think I’d ever see the day. You have to tell me everything! Like…what did you do? How was it? Who is he?”

You laughed at how excited she was and it somehow warmed your heart. She really was a great friend, and you knew she’d always have your back and be excited with you. Just like you’d been when she’d told you that she’d got engaged a few weeks back.

“It was pretty much perfect.”, you admitted, feeling the heat rising to your cheeks. “He was an absolute sweetheart and gentlemen. We actually went for a walk with his dog first – he’s super cute by the way – and then grabbed some take away on our way back and spent the evening at his and-”

“You went to a stranger’s house for a first date? y/n, are you crazy? That’s bloody dangerous and-”

“Obviously I didn’t, you know me, Anna.”, you laughed, only now clocking on to how weird it sounded to go home with a stranger. You quickly unpacked your bag and sat down, finally taking a sip from your coffee as well. “He’s like…a friend of a friend, so I knew him before and neither of us wanted to sit in a restaurant, so we went over to his.”

“Pff, I’m relieved, not gonna lie. Thought I had to get your head straight or something. But that sounds so relaxed and laid-back. What’s his name?”

“It’s erm…Cameron.”

When Anna raised her eyebrow sceptically, you knew your answer had come out too hesitant in an attempt to find a name that wasn’t Mason. “Are you sure, love?”

“Yes, sorry, I was just thinking about yesterday.”, you chuckled, dropping your head to avoid her seeing your red cheeks. “His name is definitely Cameron.”

Before either of you could keep the conversation going, Steven, head of media department, popped into your office and you could tell by the look on his face that he hadn’t come for a normal chat.

“Morning girls, it’s short notice, my apologies, but there’s going to be a meeting in conference room no. 2 in ten minutes. Make sure you’re on time please.”

Anna and you exchange a meaningful and equally worried look the second Steven had left again. Unannounced meetings usually didn't bode well and for some reason you had an extremely bad gut feeling today.

After all, a high was usually followed by a low. And this week's high had undoubtedly been yesterday.

“I wonder what that could be about.”, Anna mumbled as she gathered her iPad and pen. “He didn’t mention anything about bigger projects for this week.”

“No idea, but for some reason I have a really bad feeling about this, to be honest.”, you confessed. Your heart was racing and you felt sick to your stomach; both signs that had you worried as your gut feeling very rarely ever fooled you.

And when you both arrived in the conference room and not only your other colleagues from the marketing department were sitting there, but pretty much all your colleagues from the administrative departments, you felt vindicated.

The last time you’d all been called together like this, you’d been told that there would be a new owner, and this didn't feel any less big.

After an exhausting day on the training pitch as well as an extra shift in the gym straight after, Mason would normally flop down on the sofa and take a nap before a game or two with Ben and an early night, but after the date with you yesterday, he was still pretty much on cloud nine.

It had taken him an embarrassingly long time to grow a pair and ask you out – about three years of friendship in fact – and he wasn’t proud of how long he’d been simping for you in silence and opting to stick to staying friends, but he’d been terrified of being rejected.

Ever since you and him had become friends, he’d never seen you seriously date someone and you’d never given him any real signs you could be interested in him out of all people, so he’d held himself back and enjoyed the time he’d got with you.

But lately, you’d been a bit touchier with him. Conversations had turned flirtier, and you’d sought out his proximity more than you usually would.

So one evening on your way back home – you’d been out for dinner with friends – he’d held you back by your hand, bit the bullet and shyly asked if you wanted to go out with him. On a date. And the bright smile on your face as you’d nodded, had made his tummy flip like never before.

Mason had wrecked his brain for days to figure out what he wanted to do for your first date. He’d wanted it to be absolutely perfect and ended up making a list with all options, but after a conversation with Declan, he’d settled on the most down-to-earth option. Going for a walk – Ace unsurprisingly ended up loving you way more than him – and eating pizza in the safety of his home.

Despite the years of friendship, he’d worried the date might be filled with awkward silences and two people not knowing what to say, but to his utter relief it hadn’t been weird for a single second. You’d settled straight away into easy conversation, laughter and slightly deeper topics and it had never felt wrong.

Not when he’d pulled you into his side during the film, not when you’d grabbed his hand beneath the blanket, not when he’d kissed your cheek when saying goodbye.

The only problem: He missed you already.

Mason had always enjoyed your company, but ever since yesterday, he just wanted to spend every second with you. He felt like he’d got to know you on a different level and he appreciated who you were as a person even more than before.

Throughout the whole day he’d hoped to catch at least a glimpse of you, maybe just a tiny smile from you, but he never got the chance.

Realistically, he’d known he wouldn’t see you. He rarely ever did because the time you had to spend with the players or staff members was limited and reserved for special occasions like the photo shooting for a new season, but the whipped part of him had hoped you’d make up a silly little reason to see him.

He considered calling you, but he didn’t want to annoy you, so he eventually opted for a message. But much to his surprise, it was left unanswered.

To say you were nervous when you came in the next morning was pretty much an understatement. Your heart was beating out of your chest; overall you felt like you were about to faint.

“Morning.”, you mumbled quietly as you entered your office. Your voice lacked the usual excitement and happiness, but Anna’s greeting wasn’t more cheerful either and as much as it sucked, you were glad you weren’t the only one who struggled to process everything that had happened and throughout the day you noticed that it seemed as if the news had hit everyone quite surprisingly, meaning the atmosphere was tense – to say the least.

Two hours into the day – you’d barely managed to get anything done – your phone lit up with another message from Mason. The hopeful sound of it made your heart hurt, especially as you knew you’d have to leave this one unanswered. Just like the ones he’d sent yesterday and this morning.

You knew it would confuse and probably hurt him and that alone made you feel like the worst person on earth. Mason was the most genuine and kind man you’d ever met. He had a heart made of gold and deserved nothing but the best and here you were ignoring his every single attempt.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Anna’s soft voice and her hand on your shoulder brought you out of your thoughts. You’d been so stuck in your head, you’d not even noticed how she’d got up and sat down next to you.

“Nothing, I’m just…everything’s okay.”

“y/n, you’re crying. That doesn’t look like everything being okay to me.” She gently turned your chair and grabbed your hands. “What’s wrong? You can talk to me, you know that.”

“Not about this, no.”, you shook your head. “But it’s okay, I’m fine, I promise. Just had a bit of a moment.”

Anna didn’t look convinced at all, but much to your relief decided to play along for now and accept your decision to keep whatever it was to yourself. She squeezed your hands and nodded. “I’m here whenever you’re ready.”

You were quick in wiping the stray tears away once she’d let go of your hands, determined to get yourself together, but it was hard to focus on anything other than Mason.

Somehow you made it through the day without fucking anything up or breaking down again. You’d only bumped into Mason once. He'd intercepted you in the corridor after lunch, but you'd brushed him off with the brief information that you had a meeting.

The sad and disappointed look in his big brown eyes had haunted you throughout the whole day and now that you were sitting in your quiet kitchen, staring at the wall and trying to enjoy your dinner, it got even worse.

He didn’t deserve any of this. But there was nothing you could do. He had to forget about you and the feelings he held for you as quickly as possible and shutting him out felt like the only way. Even if it was the most painful one.

You tried watching some random show on Netflix, but with your thoughts distracting you continuously, you gave up not too long after and got ready for bed.

Mason had messaged you again a little while ago, asking how your meeting had gone, but you’d ignored it. Just like the two calls that had come in a little later. You could feel your heart breaking every single time his name popped up and your resistance crumbled ever so slightly.

You made it into bed without giving in, bravely deleting all notifications from your screen, thinking it would surely get better and be easier tomorrow, but just when you were setting your alarm another message came in, filling your eyes with hot tears.

A deep sigh left Mason’s left when once again there was no reply from you. Ever since yesterday evening, he’d been wondering what he could’ve done that would make you ghost him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find anything.

The date had been amazing, probably the best he’d ever been on and from what you’d said, he’d thought you felt the same. But ever since then, everything seemed to have gone south.

Looking back at it now, even you telling him you had a meeting to attend, felt like you brushing him off and not wanting to talk to him, especially as he’d seen you talking animatedly to a colleague not long after, and his heart squeezed uncomfortably at the thought of you not wanting anything to do with him anymore.

He liked you, he really liked you a lot, so you ignoring his every attempt like this felt like torture. What if you really just cut him off like that without so much as an explanation?

It didn’t get easier at all. The next day still felt like you were ripping your own heart out and you had a hard time focussing and not bursting into tears.

You had a feeling that Anna knew something was genuinely wrong with you, but she respected your decision and didn’t ask you again. Instead, she brought you tea and a couple of snacks back whenever she had to leave the office and whenever she’d pass you, she squeezed your shoulder in an attempt to be there for you.

You managed to avoid Mason for the majority of the day. He’d tried to catch you a couple of times, but you were lucky enough to always be a step ahead and get away from him. By his expression, you could tell just how upset he was, but as much as it tore your heart apart, you couldn’t help but keep going.

It was what was best for you. Even though it didn’t feel like it at all. And if you were being honest with yourself, you began to genuinely doubt whether you were really doing the right thing.

Later in the afternoon - Anna had just left for a meeting - a knock at your door had your heart dropping to your tummy.

“Hi.”, he said quietly. The small smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes like it usually would, and it pained you, knowing you were the one who’d caused it. “Can we talk?”

“I don’t thi-”

“y/n, please.”, Mason sighed as he closed the door behind him to allow the two of you some privacy. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”, you dismissed, trying to busy yourself with tidying up your desk a little, but it was to no use. He could see right through you, you knew that and he wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted.

“Yeah, obviously everything’s fine.”, he scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “That’s why you’ve been off with me right? And ignored my messages and calls. And dismissed me yesterday, saying you have a meeting when you actually just didn’t want to talk to me.”

“I did have a mee-”

“I saw you laughing with a colleague right after, y/n. I didn’t expect an hour-long conversation, you know? I just wanted a little chat after you ignored every single message those last days.”

You could tell that he was genuinely hurt by your actions, and you hated yourself for making him feel this way. You’d never meant for him to see you joking around with Ellie after you’d told him you had to leave for a meeting and you could only imagine how much it must’ve stung.

“I thought the date was great and you said you’d enjoyed it too. What happened ever since? Or did you lie back then and never planned on seeing me again?” His voice was laced with disappointment and sadness and the expression in his voice mirrored both in a way that had your heart hurting like never before.

You wanted to tell him you didn’t lie and that you’d meant everything you’d said. You wanted to wrap him up in your arms and confess how much you liked him, but instead, you got up from your desk and shook your head.

“I don’t want this, Mason.”

Mason visibly winced at your choice of words. Ever since you’d got to know him, you’d never used his full name unless you were mad at him and the fact you did now hit him harder than he’d expected. He watched you walking towards the door, obviously trying to look for an out, but he wasn’t ready for that yet.

You went all stiff when you felt his hand on your elbow, holding you back and turning you around. His eyes were hard and focussed on yours, causing you to gulp heavily.

“y/n, what’s wrong with you? What happened for you to turn on me like this? What did I do?” It was painful to hear him questioning himself, wondering what he had done wrong, when it hadn’t been him at all, but you couldn’t tell him that.

“I don’t get this at all. y/n, we got along so well, what happened? If I did something to piss you off, just tell me, please…like…just please.”

You bit the insides of your cheeks as hard as possible to stop the tears from welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t cry in front of him or he’d know something was up. Something that didn’t have anything to do with him.

Not trusting your own voice, you remained silent; simply focusing on holding back those tears.

“Look at me and tell me you don’t want this. That you don’t want me.”, Mason all but demanded. He was agitated, desperately grabbing the last straw he could find, but his heart only broke further, when you didn’t say anything at all.

You knew you’d break down if you looked at him; if you caught a glimpse of those sad eyes, so you opted to stare at the floor. The tears were brimming in your eyes and you knew you couldn’t hold the sobs back for much longer, but it was Mason huffing in disappointment, that had the first tear rolling down your cheek.

“And I thought this could be it.”, he sighed. Shaking his head he let go off your elbow and slowly trudged out of your office.

It took everything in you to keep yourself from sinking to your knees and crying your little heart out as the door fell close, but you were still at work and couldn’t cause a scene like that. Your heart was in your throat, keeping you from breathing properly and you felt like you were about to throw up any second as the tears silently ran down your face.

This was the worst you’d ever felt. No other heartbreak came close to how much it hurt to know you’d sent away the best thing you’d ever had.

You tried your best to calm down and regain your composure, but when Anna came back into the office, you still felt like you were in some sort of different dimension. Your thoughts were all over the place, pretty much wavering between making you feel like you did the right thing and like you were the worst person in the world and it didn’t take Anna more than a glance to figure that out herself.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“I erm…I’m not feeling very well, to be honest.”, you admitted, knowing it was no use lying to her when you probably looked like you’d been crying for the past hour. “I think I’ll actually head home.”

“I think you should.”, she nodded; reaching out and squeezing your hand tentatively. “Call me if you need anything, okay hun?”

“Will do, thank you.” You tried a small smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace than anything else. “See you tomorrow.”

“Take as much time off as you need, y/n. It’s just work. Whatever is going on for you, prioritise that, yeah?”

You nodded, the gratitude you felt nearly bringing you to the brink of tears again, but you managed to keep it together. Saying goodbye, you hurried out of the building and making the short drive back home where you eventually let go of everything you’d been holding in.

Coming into training the next day, Mason still felt awful. Obviously, he was still hurt by you pushing him away like you had, but he also felt horrible for not respecting the choice you’d made.

Sure, he was sad and disappointed, especially as you’d never explained your change of heart, but after mulling about it for hours yesterday, he’d come to the conclusion that the way he’d reacted had been out of line as well.

You’d obviously been distraught and instead of just accepting it for the time being, he’d made it worse and demanded something you’d not been ready to give to him yet. He had too much respect for you to disrespect your decisions like he had and whilst it might only hurt him further, he’d made the decision to apologise for his behaviour and tell you that he’d be okay with being friends.

Ultimately, he just wanted you to be happy and if him not being in the picture as your boyfriend was part of your happiness, then he was okay with it. Well, he would be. At some point.

The whole training session, Mason kept going over what he wanted to say to you, to reassure you he would stay your friend if that’s what you wanted and never in his life had he been happier about a gaffer calling it a day.

He quickly took a shower before jogging up to your office, thinking that after today, you and him could be back to being friends, but he was more than surprised to find it empty. Your desk looked untouched, there was no bag by the side of it and no trace of your coffee mug.

“Oh hi Mase.”, Anna smiled the moment she returned to the office. “You’re alright?”

“Yeah, erm…I’m good, thanks. You too I hope?”

The blonde girl nodded. “I take it you’re looking for y/n?”, she asked, receiving a quick confirmation from the midfielder. “She’s not in today. Rang in sick this morning to let us know she won’t be in the whole week.”

Mason’s heart dropped to his tummy. You were rarely ever sick and it wasn’t like you to sign off sick entirely instead of working from home, so the worry that overcame him was barely bearable.

“Can I help you with whatever you came here for?”

“I erm…no, it can wait until next week, no worries.”, he smiled, hoping it looked like a genuine one and not like the forced one it felt like to him.

Anna just nodded and watched him leave. She’d been suspicious before as you and Mason had always got along really well and you’d kept mentioning him, but whenever she’d hinted at there being more between the two of you, you’d denied it and explained that he’s just a really good friend.

Now however, she felt as if everything was adding up: You struggling to remember the guy’s name you’d gone on a date with, the way you’d not taken the news on Tuesday well and now you ringing in sick for the whole week after you’d obviously been crying yesterday.

She just hoped you’d figure it out and not give up on everything that could be.

Mason didn’t have to think twice about where to go as he got into his car and started the engine. He’d been determined to make things right before and now that he had the confirmation that something was genuinely wrong, he wanted to make sure you were okay even more.

The drive to your house felt like an eternity and when he eventually reached your door and knocked, his heart was beating out of his chest. What if you sent him away again?

You were surprised to find someone knocking at your door this late in the afternoon and wondered, if Anna had decided to stop by as you knew she hadn’t bought your excuse from this morning. Especially not after she’d found you after you’d cried your eyes out, but when you opened the door and it wasn’t Anna staring back at you, your heart dropped.

“I…Mase, what-”

“Anna said you rang in sick and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”, he explained quietly. You could tell how nervous he was by the way he kept fiddling with the hem of his shirt and if you weren’t in the situation you were in right now, you’d find him utterly adorable.

“I’m okay.”, you nodded, trying to shut the door subtly, but Mason caught on to it almost immediately.

“You don’t look okay, though, y/n.”, he insisted, stepping closer so you couldn’t close the door on him. He studied you for a moment, clocking on to the slightly puffy and red-rimmed eyes, the red nose and your chapped lips. I could be a cold, but it could also be because you’d cried and not knowing made him feel like he was going insane.

“Probably caught something. A cold most likely. Savannah has been coughing ever since she came back on Monday. So it’s actually better you leave. Wouldn’t want you to catch it too.”

You knew it was a poor attempt at getting him to leave again, but you were too weak to think about a proper reason. The constant crying and worrying had got to you, making you feel like death warmed up.

“I actually came to apologise too.”, Mason admitted. He scratched the back of his head. “Do you think I could come in? Please?”

You thought about it for a second, utterly confused why he was the one wanting to apologise when you’d ghosted him for days, but you eventually sighed and let him in. Having known him for years it was pretty easy to tell that he wouldn’t leave unless he got to apologise for whatever it was and especially because of the current circumstances, it would be better if he wasn't seen at your front door.

Mason really wanted to give you a second to process his presence, but the need to say what he had to say was too overwhelming, so he started talking as soon as you entered your living room.

“Look, I just wanted to apologise because the way I behaved yesterday was out of line and-”

He had so much to say, so many things to reassure you that he was okay with whatever you wanted him to be, but one accidental look at your opened notebook was all it took to shut him up. The page you’d opened on Google made it unmistakably clear that none of what he’d planned to say was necessary. You had made your decision. A painful decision made by someone he’d never thought would hurt him like this.

“Mase?”, you asked, confused as to why he’d stopped talking, but then you remembered what you’d looked for a few minutes ago. “It’s not wha-”

“Save it, y/n.”, Mason interrupted you sternly. Unlike when he came here, his expression was stoney and cold.

“Never mind.”, he said. “It was a ridiculous idea to think you’d want anything to do with me after your behaviour those last days…and to think I came here to apologise. Fuck me.” The hollow laugh he let out had chills running down your spine. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him this hurt and you were desperate to explain, but Mason wasn’t having any of it.

“Mase, I-”

“Look, y/n, you don’t have to pretend anymore. Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to date me anymore? Obviously, it would’ve hurt, but we’ve been friends for so long, I would’ve never let you go entirely. I would’ve been okay with being friends if that’s what you wanted, but very clearly, were not on the same page with that either.”

You could feel yourself tearing up at the way he got the wrong side of the stick and didn’t even let you explain things, but after everything you couldn’t blame him for it.

“No, Mase, it’s not like that, I-”

“y/n you’re literally looking for a new job.”, he huffed. “You obvs can’t wait to get away from me and whatever it was between us. Just tell me, seriously, because this is getting ridiculous. I just…this is so fucked up, I can’t believe it…I just…”

You watched him running his hands through his hair and over his face. He looked confused, angry and most of all hurt, but as much as you wanted to interfere and explain everything, you knew you needed to wait a little longer and let him get everything off his chest.

“Back in your office, I asked you to tell me you don’t want me. I fucking asked you and you didn’t have the guts to tell me straight into my face.”, he boomed. “Instead, you’re ringing in sick when you’re not actually sick but looking for a fucking new job. Just to get away from me…like…do you realise just how fucked up this is?”

“You’re getting it all wrong, Mase.”

From the look on his face, you could tell that he didn’t appreciate you saying that at all. You knew he probably felt ridiculed and taken for a fool who’d laid his heart out in front of a girl who ended up stomping all over it, but you didn’t know how to even begin to explain what was going on.

“Yeah? Then fucking tell me how what you’re doing translates into you wanting to be friends or more with me. Because I obviously don’t get it at all.”, he bellowed. “It hurt y/n, can you imagine? We went out on that date and it went so well and I really thought you were the one I’d been looking and waiting for for years. I genuinely thought we had something but instead you went all cold on me and fucking ghosted me. You didn’t even explain anything. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

You choked on your own breath as the tears you’d managed to hold at bay finally made it past the last line of defence. Here he was, laying his pain out in front of you and it hit you like a million trains all at once. His big brown eyes were full of tears, probably a mixture of hurt and anger, but it didn’t make it any less bad.

You’d never meant to hurt him and now here he was, standing right in front of you with tears in his eyes and his heart broken into a thousand pieces.

“And on top of that, here I am wanting to apologise for making you feel bad and disrespecting your decision…god this is so fucking humiliating you have no idea. I-”, Mason stopped and took a deep breath, trying to compose himself as he didn’t have the strength to keep going like this anymore. He just wanted it to be over. “Look, y/n, you don’t have to leave. I know how much you love your job and the club. I’ll just stay away and leave you be. It’s like we’ve never been friends or something, I don’t know.”

And with that, he turned around, obviously leaving the choice with you once again, and you contemplated letting him leave, but you knew that this time it would be for good. And whilst it was everything, you’d tried to achieve those last days, right now you realised it was the worst thing that could happen.

You weren’t ready to lose him. You couldn’t lose him. Not when he meant everything to you.

“I’m doing this for us.”

Mason had wanted to leave. He’d been determined to stop this game you were playing with him, but your quiet voice made him freeze on the spot. He didn’t turn around, not ready to face you in case it was just another move in whatever game you’d chosen, but something inside of him wanted to hear what you had to say.

You took a deep breath, ready to lay it all out in front of him, no matter the consequences, but you were terrified it was too late. “I…with the new management, we’re not allowed to have any kind of friendship, let alone relationship with any of the first team players.”

Mason’s blood ran cold at your words. It was everything but what he’d expected you to say.

“The day after our date? We got called into a meeting where they explained that the team’s success is the most important thing and that nothing and no one can be a distraction. Apparently, someone had filled them in on the friendships that had formed and they didn’t like that administrative staff and players aren’t strictly separated, so they gave us updated terms for our contract that states that from now on, any kind of relationship and us is strictly forbidden and that whoever would break the rules would be immediately suspended. Apparently, we don’t even have to sign it for it to be effective.”

Mason’s heart hammered uncomfortably in his chest. He could hear how much it took for you to get it all out without breaking down and it made him feel even worse for exploding on you like that before.

“I couldn’t tell you cause it was confidential and to be honest, I’m not even allowed to tell you now, but here we are…”

When he turned around, his gaze was a lot softer as it locked on yours and the relief flooding your veins because of it was indescribable. Maybe everything would be okay after all?

“y/n.”, he sighed softly as he took a couple of careful steps into your direction and when you didn’t back off, he eventually brought you into a tight hug.

The warmth and comfort surrounding you all of sudden as well as the reassurance that you hadn’t broken everything beyond repair caused you to eventually collapse in his hold. Emotions, you’d been holding in for days turned into body-wrecking sobs; your fingers gripping his jumper and his arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders the only things keeping you upright as you let everything out.

Mason felt absolutely helpless. He’d never seen you like this; so broken and sad and he had no idea what you needed. On any other day, you’d been this strong and independent woman; you’d always known what you wanted and needed and of course, you’d let your guard down on several occasions with him, but never like this.

But as shit as the whole situation was, it just proved to him, that you felt the same for him as he felt for you.

“It’s okay, love.”, he whispered as he leaned his cheek on top of your head. “I got you, I’m not going anywhere.”

He slowly swayed you from side to side in an attempt to calm you down further, lips pressing kisses to your hair every once in a while, and it wasn’t long until your sobs became less and less violent. Ever since Tuesday, you’d felt as if the castle you’d built over the last years had collapsed in itself, but the way Mason kept you safe in his arms and whispered reassuring words into you hair made it all seem a bit less definite.

“I’m sorry.”, you whispered once you’d regained enough composure. “I know I hurt you a lot and I never meant to be as shitty as I’ve been. It’s just…when they handed us the updated terms, I didn’t know what to do. They said there would be consequences and I was so terrified something could happen to you and…I thought you’d just forget about me and our date if I pushed you away enough and…I’m so sorry I hurt you like this.”

Mason pressed a kiss to your head, before pulling back an inch. With his fingers beneath your chin, he tipped your head back gently to catch your eyes. They were still filled with unshed tears, but you didn’t look as heartbroken anymore as before.

“I’m sorry, too, y/n. I shou-”

“No, Mase you have nothing to apologise for.” You loosened one hand that was still gripping his jumper tightly and moved it on top of his shoulder; your thumb just about caressing the warm skin of his neck.

“I was the one who ghosted you and didn’t explain anything properly. It’s just…I like you so much and when you cornered me in my office and asked me to tell you I don’t want this, I couldn’t. And I couldn’t even look at you cause you would’ve seen my tears and…I couldn’t tell you, Mase. Because it would’ve been a lie.”

“I know.” He gently cupped your jaw with his warm hand, thumb caressing the soft skin on your cheekbone causing you to smile softly. “But still…Yesterday, I gave you the chance to explain, but everything was still so fresh and then today when I came here, I cut you off all the time and jumped to conclusions. I know I was mad and hurt, but I should’ve given you a moment to explain. I’m sorry, I didn’t.”

“No, it’s okay, Mase. You couldn’t know and when you saw the page you just got the wrong end of the stick. After how I treated you I wasn’t surprised you got mad.”

You gently kissed the palm of his hand before leaning back against his chest. His evenly beating heart doing the trick in settling you even more and when Mason ran one hand up and down your spine, you snuggled into him even further.

For a rather long while, you simply stood there, holding each other and breathing in each other’s scent. His hands continued to run up and down your spine, fingers gently digging into your tense muscles, and you kissed his chest in appreciation.

Deep down you’d always known that trying to get rid of him was the most stupid decision, but now that he was holding you like this, making you feel the safest you ever had, you seriously questioned yourself.

Mason was the best thing that had ever happened to you and it didn’t matter whether it was as your boyfriend or a normal friend, there was no way you’d ever let him go.

“I don’t want you to quit, y/n.”, Mason suddenly said. “Let’s keep it under the wraps and see where it’ll go. We obviously like each other a lot, but we don’t know if it’ll work out in the long run. Let’s just figure it our just us two and when we’re both certain that this is what we want, you can still quit.”

You pulled away from him a little bit, searching his eyes for any kind of doubt, but there was none. All you could find was the determination to make what you had work.

“Are you sure? It could have consequences for you too and I don’t want this to jeopardise your career.”

“More than sure.”, Mason smiled. He leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead. “I know how much you love working for United and there’s absolutely no need to worry about me. If anything, I’ll be even more focused and determined to do well and impress you, to be honest.”

“Well, I am pretty impressed already, Mr. Mount.”, you giggled, pinching his sides in jest, before resting your hands on them and turning serious again. “So, we’re doing this?”

“We are.”, he confirmed and the smile lighting up his face made you feel weak in the knees. He really was the most beautiful man you’d ever laid your eyes on. “And I couldn’t be happier, love.”

Carefully, he slid his hand up your arm until he could cup your cheek; his fingers spreading just behind your ear as he tilted your head up a little. He noticed how your gaze dropped to his lips momentarily and how the grip of your fingers had tightened ever so slightly.

“I really want to kiss you.”, he admitted quietly, nose nudging yours in an attempt to test the waters and when you didn’t pull away, but instead tilted your head a little to the side, he dipped down and kissed you softly.

You kissed him back just as gently, but he could feel it in every cell of his body. The overwhelming feeling of happiness and love threatened to burst his heart, and he could tell that you felt the exact same thing.

When eventually both of your smiles broke the kiss, it was earlier than either of you wanted. You pressed your forehead to his; eyes still closed, and the small chuckle Mason let out had the butterflies going wild in your tummy.

“I like you so much, y/n.”, he whispered; both of you knowing that liking each other didn’t come close to how you actually felt, but you knew it was too early to say it yet.

“I like you loads, too.”, you smiled and with that, Mason leaned back in to kiss you again.

—————

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#fic rec

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