yishaireno

[yishaireno]

I’m dating three women rn

The First - says she wants to be platonic after we had The Good Sex, just go on dates as friends now

The Second - doesn’t want to call it “dating” even, is afraid of intimacy and barely has let me cuddle her, ever

The Third - was extremely warm but has cooled off and now spends most of our dates talking about the other men she’s seeing

Yeah, I’m not gonna lie I’m feeling pretty alone these days

[yishaireno]

My date cut our time together short today because people in my house have had Covid within the last week (totally legit) and now I’m depressed cuz I’m way too into her and was putting way too many spoons into trying to make a good date (she was too afraid to try the hummus I made). I’m tired

[yishaireno]

The lady I’m seeing updated me, she’s back in town

Scuze me while I trim my nails in anticipation 💅🏻

[yishaireno]

So uuuuuuuuuuuuuh

My crush hit me up last night. Exact words: “Sorry to bug you, I just had the overwhelming urge to make out with you to see what that’s like”

😳😳😳

[yishaireno]

Update: because I’m up I conveniently managed to arrange the meetup of two friends who had plans to link but had only met once before (through me) and one had left one of his phones behind and that was the only number the other friend had, so they both started hitting me up all like “halp?”

I can never sleep on vacation

[yishaireno]

I can never sleep on vacation

[yishaireno]

TFW, for financial security and familial inclusion, you quietly acknowledge to yourself that you may never transition genders (or could only do so very late in life) or reveal your feelings to your parents

[yishaireno]

First threesome successful! 👌🏻

[yishaireno]

Sometimes people are majorly confused why I don’t just go live with my parents and try to access their striking-at-upper-class lifestyle. The answer is actually pretty simple: the 2008 financial crisis.

See, when everyone was losing their homes and jobs, it occured to me that people weren’t dying off in massive droves, so what was really separating the wheat from the chaff wasn’t who could or couldn’t survive, it was who could gracefully transition from wealthy to poor. I realized then that there was no reason at all to believe I was somehow special or immune to the potential of future destitution (assuming I was even ever successful to begin with), and that if I wanted to get through this life smoothly I should probably just learn how to be poor, cuz I could become poor unexpectedly and suddenly.

This isn’t something I hear ppl talk about often but I’ve legit always felt it. People tell me that they think it’s cool I want to make something of myself independently, or think I just wanna do lots of drugs, but it’s actually just a really simple approach to gaining what I think is a really vital life skill 🤷🏻‍♂️

[yishaireno]

For the first time in a long long long time I have not one but TWO women who are interested in my hot bod 😏 now all I have to do is take the LSAT and I’ll be 100% ready to ooze confidence in their general directions

[yishaireno]

Bible historians of Tumblr: has anyone ever written a Mother Mary/Jesus Christ incest fic? I’m guessing it’s not supported at all by canon, but maybe there’s a weird gospel out there?

[yishaireno]

It’s so difficult to be positive about my new car when it straight up took a week to diagnose a headlight/brights issue (it was the daytime running light control module) and the solution is to replace a piece that is no longer manufactured anywhere

[yishaireno]

Of course the 1998 RAV4 with more miles runs better than the 2000 Escalade I bought. Added bonus, my roommate got it as a free loan from his “girlfriend’s” parents 😂 why do I even try 🤷🏻‍♂️

[yishaireno]

Update: I actually wrote a list for the first time of all the work that I wanna do (and all the work I have to do before I can start having fun) and it’s legit 20 items long, with some projects being like $80 to complete and some being like $8000

Omg I bought an Escalade and now all I can think about is all the cool shit I’m gonna do to it once it’s fully up to speed

[yishaireno]

Omg I bought an Escalade and now all I can think about is all the cool shit I’m gonna do to it once it’s fully up to speed

[yishaireno]

I’m really grateful to have a new whip that can house all the things I need. However, it’s really frustrating being unable to actually get those things into the car without help.

Y’know, for how often I’ve helped people move while I lived here, you’d think someone would be down to help me out 🤷🏻‍♂️ guess I’ll pay another day of prorated rent while I continue to beg people to help me!

[yishaireno]

I think I’m buying an Escalade tomorrow?? It feels super duper real 🤷🏻‍♂️ I always wanted to own a Cadillac 😎