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What I have learned this week...

During my childhood, I was used to being manipulated, abused, and molded to what my mother wanted me to be, which was impossible for me to do because I was “me” and not what she wanted or needed me to be. Now that I'm older and I have children of my own I see my mother in my behaviors toward them. I ask myself “why can't I just be ok with who they are?” and try to change them which in the long run we will both be hurt. Hurt because I would be upset or mad to control them into what I want to then realize that they were never going to be that person, and then they would be hurt because they would constantly be trying to fit in this mold that they really can't even fit, some world I created for them. 

So for this week, I have reminded myself that sometimes things won't go my way and to be cool with that. Do not force, coerce, or manipulate anyone to doing something that they are not comfortable doing even if I have my best intentions. Only God is the one that can work and change what he wants when he wants. and who he wants. I'm going to continue trusting God in every area in my life and not force anything! 

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Isn't this the truth?? I had sat at meetings before clueless of what was going on or what was being said just because of fear of being a fool and ask a question, but now I have the courage to ask what I don't know in order to gain wisdom. I will not let my thoughts or the anxiety to get me to wonder instead of asking. The best wisdom comes from God, and I do believe he has been helping me.

#wisdom #god help me #foolman #wiseman #ask away #dontwonder #benjamin disraeli #growingup #nicetoshare

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Ever since I was in my early 20s, I had a strong urge to have a college degree as a social worker and help those that were in need of help or just in that one that would believe in them, but unfortunately I made other plans. I started to attend college and because I decided to put all my attention on boys, I stopped attending school, which was the worst mistake I made but I forgive myself for that. 

Thankfully now I am attending a community college in my area and am taking the social work program offered there. As of now, I have completed about 10 classes having a total of 30 credits, and still need about 30 credits which I'm halfway there and super proud of myself that I have been able to carry this out for this long. When I tried previously, I only completed about two classes and it was by mere chance, so this really shows my interest and commitment into becoming what I feel like I was meant to be, a cheery, bright, and helpful social worker that is willing to help anyone that would appear by the office. 

Currently I'm doing a work study program offered by the community college. Where I am placed is in an addict recovery center and I feel like its for me since I arrived there, but I want to have the opportunity to venture out and try more areas in the social work field since it is so complex and many areas that are needed. Being there with other addicts and them explaining their stories actually has helped me heal in many areas in my life where I still had open wounds, which I know that God placed me there for that reason. I also make calls to addicts that are in recovery and just see where they are at in recovery, and determine if they are still on their journey to recovery. When I'm there I will serve them as giving them encouraging words to let them know that even if I don't know them, in know it is possible for them to be in recovery and I will believe in them. It has been an experience that I don't think I will ever forget and I will take it with me wherever I go.

Now I just need God to be with me and help me to be of help and serve to others just like Jesus did when he was here on earth. When no one would help or believe in them, there was Jesus being that servant even though he was Gods son and didn't have to, but he was sent for it, and so do I feel like I was sent to serve others. Thanks for reading! :)

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Happy New Year 2020!

I want to commit myself this year to at least blog once a week to talk about my progress and what I encountered that week. It can be from school, my time with God, work life, family life, or anything personal that I feel comfortable sharing. 

It will be a hard commitment because I already have a lot on my plate but it is not impossible, with God by my side I can do it. :)

That is my resolution for 2020. I hope everyone has a wonderful year 2020 filled with love and peace. 

#resolution2020 #writing #bloggin #bebetter #sharemyworld #share my story #newexperiences #2020goals #godisgreat #godwithme #improvemyself #greatyear #familylife #student life #parentlife #myjourney #my journal #letsgo

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self-care instruction manual

forgive yourself : it’s okay if you didn’t wake up early, go for a run, or finish that assignment. you’re only human

start slow : don’t set your expectations too high when you’re just starting off

keep learning : getting to where you want to be is a process. don’t expect perfection overnight

be kind to yourself : you’ll make mistakes along the way, but don’t let that stop you

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Faith, a word that is simple but yet so powerful. A word that if you beleive it can do the impossible in your lives. Things that were not capable to happen did happen when you added faith to the thought or to the sentence. Anything that was impossible it became possible with this word.

I personally apply this word to every dream, any goal, or any future plans and I have seen how faith is just bringing me closer to my dreams, goals, and future. Back in the days when I was about 20 years old, I wanted to be in school and have a great career that gave me the satisfaction and the of purpose, like I was put on earth to do that job. I started juggling between careers such as nurse, medical assistant, and social worker. I didn’t know which one would be for me but I know one thing they had in common was to help and be of help. Helping was one thing that I would do and feel like I gained heaven just because I helped another human being but it wasn’t enough. I had the dream and goals to work towards but didn’t have one main thing: faith. Faith was needed to help me even if I felt like I could not do it anymore but by having faith I could get to where I am going even if the winds were contrary to where I wanted to go. It was also needed for me to see things that wasn’t done yet but to give me a visual of what I will be doing and how good I would feel when I would complete it. Also it was needed for me to put my faith in God to help me towards those dreams and aspirations.

Now that I have accepted God in my life I am walking faithfully next to God toward my dream of helping others in their life and become a social worker. Currently I am in my first year of college and even if it has been tough because I do have a family and they need me but I have faith that my God will help us so we can get to where we have to go as a family. I have had my trials but because God is there I know that everything will be alright. Thank you God!

Now for those that want something but don’t have it yet just have faith that your God the creator of the heavens and earth will help you in obtaining what it is that you need. All it requires from you is to beleive and have faith. In the Bible it says "If you have faith no bigger than a mustard seed..." (Lk 17:6) so basically if you see how small is a mustard seed, that is all you need to make everything that’s impossible to possible!

Pray

Lord, please help me and show me how to have the faith that I need to make the impossible possible in my life. Help me understand what can happen once I have faith towards my goals and dreams when you have control of them. Help me to put my hope and faith in you God to be able to experience you and your fullness! In Jesus name I pray, amen!

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8 year old son calms mommy down with wisdom!

I always like to share things about my faith, and today I got ministered by my son Jeremy. Wow! I had an appt today with the dentist and while I'm laying down on the seat I start complaining and my son quickly ask "ma are you ok?" I hear the worry from his simple question and I reply back "yeah thanks for asking." As we get ready to go in the car he asks "ma are you in pain?" and I immediately tell him " yeah it hurts too much." He then tells me " you know its all in your brain the pain, just tell the pain to get out of here and it will." and I tell him " no it still hurt." He then says " ma you need to take away your human brain and put God brain so you wont feel the pain anymore." I just sat back reflecting on what his words were. I think sometimes we are in pain because we are human, or because we lose hope, or for whatever reason it may be but when we learn to have the thoughts just like Jesus did when he was here on earth we would be numb to the pain that this life may bring to us. It reminded me of what God says in Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. When we set our thoughts on thie things that re above we are no longer moved by what's down here on earth. We just want to continue doing awesome things here on earth to have our crown set up there on earth waiting for us when we finally get there. 

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When I was growing up, I struggled with my weight constantly. I was just a little girl trying to fix lunch for myself and didn't know what were the right choices to make. I would fix myself either two sandwiches, two packs of ramen, or a can of spaghetti and meatballs with two slices of bread and mayo. Whoa!  I continued this cycle till now that I’m an adult that I recently started making better choices for me and my family, but when I was a child I didn't understand about making the right choices. At school they would have like classes all about health and the portion sizes and calories but I never understood it. Every time I went to the doctor office for my physical they would always schedule an appointment with the nutritionist to control my food intake, but it was to hard for me to understand as well. I just kept making what I thought were the right decisions for me. 

In school, I would look at all the other kids and they were average but there was nothing average about me and that's when my self esteem was affected. I thought that people would never like me because I was a “big kid” and that they would despise me for being the way that I was physically. The self esteem issues made me retract from everyone, even those that probably did love me and it still affected me when I was growing up. When I became an adult like around my early 20s there were guys that would want to date me but I would shoot them down just because I didn't accept or love myself the way that I was. Even with the partners that I did have I would always cover myself or have the doubt in my head that they would leave me for a smaller female. It was hard to live that way, but I'm thankful for my GOD! 

When I accepted God, I did have my ups and down with m y self esteem but when I read this in the bible that I was indeed his “masterpiece” everything started to change. I started being more confident about myself, and I let people in to love me as I am and who didn't I wouldn't feel bad about it either. It was a security I had with God because I realized God made me and I know that God does not make any mistakes and I am his greatest masterpiece. 

When feeling down remember that we were made by the creator of the world that made us and that he didn't make any mistakes making you the way you are. Even if those around you may reject you but God is there with his hands open because he loves you just the way you are. 

God bless! 

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Mornings with God!

Every morning I wake up, I have to go and soak in nature and look up to the sky and thank God for they day he decided for me to be on this earth and for giving me everything, the good and the bad, which I will cherish till the end of my days. Above all he has given me the opportunity to know him and to have him by my side always, that I can say it is my major blessing. When we learn to be grateful for the good and the bad is when we experience the ultimate happiness because even if you had the smallest item you would find happiness having it. 

Thanking him is important, but singing is as well. After gratefulness, I would spend some time in worship singing to our God. Singing has been scientifically proven to lower stress, relieve anxiety, and release endorphins to your brain (God is a genius). He even left in his word the steps for us to do in order for us to be happy, which is the main feeling that God wants us to feel. His main goal that he has in mind is to keep us happy and because he made us he knew what is it that we need to be happy. 

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Please help me God to not condemn anyone but give grace as much as God does!!! 

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A great book if you want to grow spiritually and to a new level with God. Lets make our maturity level so awesome that what used to bother don't bother anymore. Lets also have faith that God that started that work with you will finish it and perfect it to his liking. Thank you GOD! 

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How it all started!

Hello, 

Today I decided that I wanted to have a blog because I would like to connect with others that are, have been, or starting to take head on this journey called life with Christ by your side. I am a 33 mother of 3 that has decided four years ago to follow Christ. In my family there was always religion, but I wasn’t looking for religion, it was a relationship with someone that was real, that would love me despite my flaws, and that only want what’s best for me. And that’s when I came across Christ. It was a day where the family was at the regular church my aunt attended but this time we were all there because she had passed. She was a great aunt even if we were not so close but I still remember in my younger days when she would take me with her to church. I would not even be listening to anything that the preacher would say, the only thing I was excited about was the music. I would be clapping and singing to the hymns that I did remember or I would learn that same day because the chorus would be so repetitive that I would learn it quickly. I didn’t understand it at that time but now that I’m of age I know that my aunt just wanted her entire family to be saved and to feel what she felt being with Jesus. 

Jesus came to my life at the right time. Around the time he came there were things in my life that were a bit chaotic. My oldest kids father had passed away from complications after removing fluid out of the lungs, and my youngest kid father was going to be sent away back to his country Guatemala. At that time because I didn’t believe in Christ all that came to my mind was “who is going to help me raise my children?” I only counted on people here on earth to help me raise my 3 children but never thought about Jesus till I started reading his word and he revealed himself to me that he is our father. In Matthew 23:9  “And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven.” That’s where I realized that my kids didn’t need, I mean I would be nice to have one, but its not a necessity because our father is only he: God. It was a word that not only did it change that perspective that I had towards my children but even as an adult and having a earthly father but not there as much as I wanted to. I lived a childhood without that father figure and when I read that word, I broke down crying and realized that he always there by my side, I just didn’t believe it. I would sometimes feels so sad and needing someone to talk to, I would go to my front porch and talk out to the stars whatever I felt released it. Now that I’m older I realized that I wasn’t talking to the stars or the sky or the universe how some people want to call it, I was talking to a higher power that is high up in the sky that was listening to my every problem so he can go and help me to fix it. How wonderful is our God. A word that I apply to myself daily and I can also apply of my father being my problem solver is in Jeremiah 29:11 ”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” He had plans in my life since he created me in my mothers womb and there are plans to make me happy and joyful but only if I hang on to him. 

Now that we have talked about me, now lets meditate on some areas where God wants to come in but sometimes because we are confused or don’t know we don’t allow him in. In what situation are you in today? Do you feel helpless towards yourself or people around you? Did you have that father figure or in need of one? Are you a single mother raising children on your own, well it feels that way? Even if you feel that way, know that you are not alone, God is with you in every single step you take because he adores and love you more than any man or any woman here on earth can just got to have faith and you will feel his immeasurable love that he has.