yamaguccitadashi

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thinking about divorced!gojo showing up to pick up your daughter for the weekend only to find you dressed for a date. and your daughter is napping, so what else does he do but stick around and pester you?

but what happens when his jealousy is getting the better of him, especially when he sees you all dressed up for another man — and he can’t help but pick a petty argument that dissolves into apologies and then into him fucking you in the bed that was once both of yours—

and of course, he answers the door when your date shows up and tells the poor guy that you’re busy, with your husband—

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Weird pregnancy cravings

Include: Gojo, Nanami, Toji, Sukuna, Choso (+ a bonus)

Content: Fluff, crack

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They ask their contact name

(and they also say how they call you :p)

Include: Gojo, Nanami, Toji, Sukuna, Choso

Content: Suggestiveness, fluff, crack

[yamaguccitadashi]

They ask their contact name

(and they also say how they call you :p)

Include: Gojo, Nanami, Toji, Sukuna, Choso

Content: Suggestiveness, fluff, crack

[yamaguccitadashi]

what is the flow rate of gojo’s sperm? 🤔

😈 😈 😈 ALRIGHT LET’S FIND OUT

shoutout to m00tie @quinnyundertow since u said there's nothing that turns you on more than hearing how mobile a man's flagella are. this one's for you bb.

alright, first off, because his cum is confirmed to be both incompressible fluid as well as move with laminar flow, these attributes satisfy the conditions of pouiseulle’s law:

i had to do a little bit of research to determine if it was laminar or turbulent flow, and apparently sperm travels with both stokes & laminar flow, which is pretty interesting, and also moves in a sinusoidal propagating wave, likely due to the movements/shape of the flagella

note: microscopic sperm travel & ejaculate fluid travel are two very different things, but i can’t solve for anything microscopic here so we’re just gonna go for the ejaculate fluid only

anyways, to use pouiseulle’s law, let’s first determine our variables, and make sure we get the units right as well! always draw a diagram w all the variables:

now, let’s identify the variables:

1. radius (r) of tube -> this refers to the pipe/tube, therefore in this case, the vaginal canal. now since gojo has decided to creampie, we can assume that the radius of the vaginal canal will be equivalent to the radius of his girth as he is stretching you out. gege told me the diameter of his big fat schlong is approximately 3 inch girth, therefore the radius = 3/2 = 1.5 inches

2. ΔP refers to change in pressure gradient, in this case i’ve decided to have P1 as pressure at vaginal canal opening, and P2 as pressure at the end where the cervix is. therefore, ΔP = (P1 - P2) for the equation. i know you’ve got that gorilla grip coochie, esp when the world’s strongest sorcerer is fuckin you SENSELESS, but all things considered this is a very difficult parameter to measure, therefore i found this article to help out with this:

we’re going to assume “contraction pressure” (at the vaginal canal opening) is P1, due to gojo’s intrusion. and we’re going to assume “pressure at rest” is P2 at the end near the cervix (he’s pulled out a lil bit ok this makes things easier for me)

kPa are the units that we want for ΔP in this case, therefore it’s a simple calculation:

ΔP = P1 - P2 = 41.8 kPa - 26.8 kPa = 15 kPa

3. the last variable we need to account for here is L, which is the length of the PIPE HE’S LAYIN INSIDE OF YOU (jk it’s just length of ur coochie). now, i imagine this man is a generous lover, and he’s alr made you cum a few before he stuck it inside, so with arousal, the vaginal canal length has likely increased to about 5 inches (moreso 4.75in based on avg values in research but he stretched you in even more during the sexing!!) therefore L = 5 in

4. the other two values are just constants:

π = pi 3.1415 (imma just use pi function in calc)

η = this is viscosity of a fluid. based on this research article, the viscosity of human semen is approximately 9.35 cps. we want these units in kPa•s (remember that your units need to match the units of the other variables), so we need to use density of sperm (1.043 g/ml) to convert the factor (i just used chatgpt lol) but the conversion factor is pretty similar therefore we will just plug in something close to 9.35 kPa•s (true value is a little smaller)

ALRIGHT WONDERFUL! WE HAVE DETERMINED ALL OF OUR VARIABLES :) NOW WE JUST NEED TO PLUG IT INTO OUR EQUATION/DIAGRAM:

*note: mind the units! (shown in blue) there are lots of variations on how flow rate can be shown w the units, so u wanna be careful that they match

YAAAAY!! so the flow rate (Q) of gojo’s cum is approximately 0.63787 in^3/sec ☺️💕

use a quick converter online, and we can make it into liters per minute -> 0.02214 l/min. convert this to milliliters -> 22.14 mls

which means that, in one of gojo’s average cumshots, he cums 22.14 mls of ejaculate !!! :0 sheesh that’s a lot!!

but how does this value compare to other men? research varies, but on average, men ejaculate between 1-10mls per orgasm, therefore the world’s strongest sorcerer cums more than TWICE the worldwide average!!

and one final calculation shows us that when he finishes, it’s at about 0.369 mls per second :) that's fuckin fast!!!

thank you for cumming to my ted talk!! byee

alr ellie out ✌🏼😖 (i have sm brainrot)

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disclaimer: i am neither mathematician nor engineer nor physicist 🧚‍♀️✨ i hold a b.s. in biology n took very simple college level physics <3 therefore i cannot speak for the true validity of these calculations or results. tis for funsies.

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here’s suguru’s smile to help cheer you up on this Monday

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$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

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Wow, Ais is so talented… We love a guy who can give people a good pounding 👊🤯💥 in a fight

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Leander avoids fights because he’s a good guy! 💪 A very good, nice guy. So good and nice.

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shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

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Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

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when you see them with another girls belongings

ʚ incl: gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna, higuruma, shiu, ino, shoko, uraume, yuuji

ʚ cont: crack, fluff

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT FOLLOW

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

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“It’s way too fucking cold,” Bakugou muttered, rubbing his hands together.

Kirishima laughed, “where did you put your gloves?”

The blonde man grunted, dragging his scarf up to cover his mouth.

Don’t ask, shittyhair.

“You want mine?”

He merely scoffed, a sense of relief washes through him.

“It’s with her, huh?”

Fuck.

Bakugou remained silent, but he felt Kirishima’s stare piercing him.

“Yeah,” he eventually mumbled, hands running through his hair. “Who else? She didn’t have hers on her. ”

What else was I supposed to do?

Grabbing his shoulder, Kirishima turned Bakugou around, “Bakugou, she’s out with another guy. And with what Mina told me, she seemed excited about it, too.”

Bakugou yanked his shoulder away. “I know,” he said gruffly. “I set her up with him. He’s a good guy. Got a good work ethic, too.”

Kirishima scoffed, “really? why?”

“I told you,” he snarled. “He’s a good guy.”

“No, you idiot,” Kirishima responded, his voice raised slightly. “Why do you hurt yourself like this?”

Bakugou couldn’t met his gaze, but he wasn’t one to back down.

“You always do this,” Kirishima continued. “Why?”

Bakugou nearly flinched. Instead, he pulled at his hair again, fumbling for an answer—an excuse.

“Why?”

Finally, he sighed.

“I just want her to be happy. That’s all.”

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no literally—suguru as a lawyer has me in a chokehold —imagine he’s showing up for his first trial and he gets demolished by reader and he swears it will never happen again—and then years later, he has a one night stand, and it’s you, the lawyer that showed him up—

ahh oh my gosh !!! this is so good !!!

I know it’s so cute and I think it would be so good — the tension would be delicious 👀💕

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I hate when yall write the same kind of personality for self insert fics.

I don’t want to keep seeing the same easily flustered, no backbone, cries a lot Y/N. Here are some versions that I think would work better for each character.

Sweetheart Y/N: Caretaker, blushy, scolds character for not taking care of themselves. Best for slice of life AU’s or as a quirkless character. [Midoriya, Hawks, Dabi, Toshinori, Aizawa]

Goofball Y/N: Silly, playfully sarcastic, best friend type, takes nothing seriously. [Bakugou, Shigaraki, Todoroki, Aizawa]

Bitchy/Bratty Y/N: Tackless, competitive, well meaning, emotionally constipated. [Kirishima, Iida, Midoriya, Bakugou, Sero]

Bestie/Sacrificial Y/N: Fun, overly understanding, forgiving, compassionate, competitive. Best for angst and/or character development. [Dabi, Shigaraki, Bakugou, Aizawa, Hawks.]

More variety please & thank you 🩵 also please make it long