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one thing you’d have to hand it to the british. wanker is such a funny derogatory term to call someone. like don’t trust him bro I heard he’s always jerking his thang messystyle

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We had such a fun weekend! I feel like an asshole saying this but I think it was in large part due to a lack of family obligations. Obviously I love these weirdos but it's not always relaxing and I feel like I have to project manage the most basic shit.

Anyway!

Saturday was lunch with friends where I got to 1) snuggle the happiest 7 month old baby ever AND 2) cuddle their FOUR foster kittens. The food was just OK, but the company was outstanding.

Sunday was another lunch with friends and we sat outside and it was great. We picked up some provisions for dinner and had a leisurely evening. Did my best to keep the Sunday Scaries at bay. Good stuff.

It was the perfect mix of socializing, relaxing, and getting some spring cleaning/purging done around the house. Highly recommend.

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What an asshole.

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My stepdad has been accepted to TWO different museum exhibits! One in Chico and another in Santa Clara! If you’re in either location or know someone who is let me know and I’ll send you the details of the shows (both open in May).

We will miss the opening reception in Santa Clara because we’ll be in Oklahoma to celebrate my grandma’s (his mom’s) birthday. We are forgiven lol but I can’t wait to check out the entire exhibit.

I’m so proud and excited for him. And if anyone out there thinks it’s too late to create or be recognized for your talent please remember this man is pushing 70 and is still doing his thing.

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@lonestarcupcake LOL you're gonna love this. I asked my brother about the color scheme/if we should wear green and he said "I have no idea. She told me to wear a gray suit so I'm buying a gray suit and wearing that."

Well OK then!

Has anyone been to a Filipino debut? We're invited to one and I know I can ask the birthday girl questions but I don't want to look like a bunch of idiots in front of my brother's girlfriend's family.

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Has anyone been to a Filipino debut? We're invited to one and I know I can ask the birthday girl questions but I don't want to look like a bunch of idiots in front of my brother's girlfriend's family.

#we are idiots but that doesn't mean we need to advertise it

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First of all, I'm with @philcatelinet on the "older generation" lol.

I don't dry a lot of our clothes, including E's nicer shirts, so they are really wrinkled. He irons his own stuff. Sometimes I iron, sometimes I use the steamer depending on the article of clothing. Now that we're both majority WFH though it's not an every day thing.

if you don‘t personally own one but your roommates/parents do and you are allowed to use it, that counts as yes

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I feel awful: my brother just asked if we could come to his baseball game Saturday but we committed to plans with friends and I hate to cancel. Feeling very "cat's in the cradle" about it all even though he's being very understanding (it was a reschedule from a previous rain delay so it wasn't on my calendar). I want to show up for him anywhere I can and the fact that he reached out makes me feel extra shitty.

If this is sibling guilt what the hell is parent guilt like?

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My friend's son called his kindergarten teacher "brochacho" and I cannot stop laughing about this.

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I hate when another car forces you to park terribly but then they leave before you and it’s just like great. Well now my atrocious park job is deprived of context and I look like an asshole

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So because this idiot couldn’t keep it in his pants I can’t get udon noodles anymore? Unbelievable!

The owner of the best Japanese/sushi restaurant in town had an affair and had to sell the place as part of the divorce and my mom is pissed.

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what's the first movie you remember seeing in theaters? don't try and be all edgy and cool and say like tetsuo: the iron man. be honest.

Go!!

#E.T the Extra-Terrestrial #where I managed to freak the fuck out when Elliott then ET got sick #sorry for spoilers

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I feel like there's two levels of chronically online. There's like, the variety where you recognize obscure memes and stupid drama and post constantly but have some sort of tether to reality and have friends in the real world and read the news from time to time, and then there's the kind where you genuinely don't realize that your political position or feelings about popular media are not just non-mainstream but actively fringe and that it's not emotional labor to pick people up from the airport.

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E ordered poke for lunch and mine arrived with no fish. Zero. Three major components to the poke bowl (ahi tuna, salmon, and crab) were missing! It was just an expensive salad! He got a refund for it but I was left poke-less. Bereft. Crestfallen. I ate leftover pasta.

Anyway, for some reason I blame James Cook and this feels like a hate crime.

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Guess who just spent a fortune on a trip to NY for a family wedding/visit a parent in June but then also had to book a trip for Memorial Day weekend because "i would have jumped off a cliff" otherwise?

Guess who also brought up divorce two days ago?

I just realized that the "we spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to be able to stand each other" couple is basically my friend and her husband. Weekly fancy date nights, international trips with lovey-dovey photos and captions on IG, gushy "forever Valentine" montages. Meanwhile she's texting me that they're starting counseling soon and she brought up divorce right before Christmas but they put a pin in it because of an upcoming vacation...where they fought the whole time and she was physically ill from the stress.

Anyway, her husband is talking about Big Plans for their wedding anniversary next month and she is stressed because she hasn't done anything yet and look I'm all for celebrating but if you can't sit still for a minute together maybe shit's not great!

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Today is E's birthday.

It's also the anniversary of the 1906 earthquake so I asked him if it was scary and if he remembers where he was.

Wife of the year!

#he's only 6 years older than I am #why am I like this?