wukodork

[wukodork]

I know I'm preaching to a very tired choir but it drives me nuts that I can be like "Hey I'm happily willing to fork over money to own a movie on a disc" and be told "Hey! Kill yourself" and then somehow I'm the criminal if I'm like, okay well I guess I'll just find a different method to own it

[wukodork]

next part

[wukodork]

oh yes it's that time of year

[wukodork]

I just think more hairy fat men and even hairless fat men just fat men in general should be wearing less clothing in the summer to give the people who work hard every day a treat to get them through their shift like fuck the people who think its weird seeing an overhanging belly in a crop top

#not a guy but am fat #trust me shorts and crop tops are so nice to wear #especially if you get overheated! #miniskirts too

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[wukodork]

I literally just learned that male carpenter bees are usually the ones tasked with protecting the nest from predators. They have that little yellow bald spot on their heads, and they’re usually the ones buzzing and hovering near you, just kinda looking at you. However, the reason they hover near you is actually because they think they’re being intimidating, and they’re trying to scare you off. If that doesn’t work, well, male carpenter bees don’t have stingers, and they don’t bite, so they’re only defense mechanism to scare humans off is to bump into us over and over. Literally just fly full speed into us, head first, and hope it’s enough to scare us away. I love carpenter bees so much. 🥺 Truly the himbos of the insect world.

[wukodork]

Is it weird that I want the holding cell flat? I wanna put my friends in there and give them puzzles to solve to be let out 🥰🫶

[wukodork]

stop holding ya pee for so damn long

[wukodork]

I almost hope that they do a Pugsly and Gomez set in a year or two.

I don't hate the new skullector but no Gomez!? (said in this voice)

[wukodork]

you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!

unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!

tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.

bonus rules:

you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny

take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)

apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender

have fun and be yourself!

#pokemon #oh cool I got litten

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[wukodork]

more thoughts for the pokemon game:

there are six available starter pokemon - all of them are pokemon with the pickup ability! so the starters would be phanpy, teddiursa, aipom, meowth, munchlax and pachirisu

partially because a big theme of the game would be cleaning up litter and building (which requires materials) but also because those specific pokemon feel way more appropriate as 'city pets' than something like a fire breathing salamander

all of them would be locked into not evolving similarly to lgpe, but all their evolutions woupd appear in the core game - including an evolution for pachirisu id like to make

#oooooh #pokemon

[wukodork]

i mean at any given moment this IS playing on a loop in my head.

[wukodork]

When you are alone and have a heart attack. What are you gonna do then?

Take a 2 minute break and read this:

Let's say it's 5:25 pm and you're driving home after an unusually hard day's work.

You are really tired and frustrated. All of a sudden your chest pains. They are starting to radiate in the arm and jaw. It feels like being stabbed in the chest and heart. You're only a few miles away from the nearest hospital or home.

Unfortunately you don't know if you can make it..

Maybe you've taken CPR training, but the person running the course hasn't told you how to help yourself.

How do you survive a heart attack when you're alone when it happens? A person who is feeling weak and whose heart is beating hard has only about 10 seconds before losing consciousness.

1. But you can help yourself by coughing repeatedly and very strongly! Deep breaths before every cough. Coughing should be repeated every second until you arrive at the hospital or until your heart starts to beat normally.

2. Deep breathing gives oxygen to your lungs and coughing movements boost the heart and blood circulation. Heart pressure also helps to restore a normal heartbeat. Here's how cardiac arrest victims can make it to the hospital for the right treatment

3. Cardiologists say if someone gets this message and passes it on to 10 people, we can expect to save at least one life.

4. FOR WOMEN: You should know that women have additional and different symptoms. Rarely have crushing chest pain or pain in the arms. Often have indigestion and tightness across the back at the bra line plus sudden fatigue.

[wukodork]

whatever

#pokemon #extreme need

[wukodork]