Roberto Ferri,
“Paradiso Perduto (Paradise Lost)”, Oil on Canvas, 2011
“Naiade (Naiad) ”, Oil on Canvas, 2012
“Impalabili Tacce Dal Cielo (Impalpable Tracks from Heaven)”, Oil on Canvas, 2010
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“…a terrible hunger for knowing things, for knowing everything.”
— Catherynne M. Valente, from Deathless
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IDIOCIE.
MADELAINE: AND BRING EVERYTHING OUT AT ONCE. it wouldn’t do to continually be interrupted during their meeting. the waitstaff was used to this routine. the girl left the coffee and tea near the side of the table where ava would be able to serve them if necessary. the black and white uniforms vanished just as quickly as they had appeared, madelaine expecting nothing less and nothing more from them. contented, she sat back in her tall, cushioned chair, and regarded ava. a large palm leaf arched over the scientist’s head and she couldn’t help but notice how the green seemed to suit her. her back was as straight as an arrow, as stiff as a board. she knew that if ava had things her way, they wouldn’t even be sitting down for lunch. the rendezvous would take place in some quiet, far - off office, where ava would have complete freedom and control to launch right into her findings. truly, the woman had no taste for the finer things, it sometimes seemed. look, look at how she hardly regarded the food and drinks when they arrived in a sudden and theatric flourish. the table was laid beautifully, sunlight glinting off the still warm plates, cutting through the slightly peachy colour of ava’s hard drink.
“ bon appetite, ” said madelaine with a wide smile. carefully, gracefully, she opened up her cloth napkin and laid this across her lap. ava’s lap was still occupied by her bag. “ it’ll be hard to enjoy your food with that in the way. REALLY, DOCTOR MONDAY, IT’S NOT LIKE A THIEF IS SUDDENLY GOING TO SWEEP IN. you’re precious work will be fine. you know i’d never do anything to endanger it… or you. ” not that any thief would have the skills to get very far, anyways. all the best thieves this side of the atlantic were either already dead or already under her thumb, she liked to think. she swiped a piece of toast through the french dip and popped it into her mouth. “ really, you’re making me nervous. ”
AVA. she was a woman with many different hungers and they were not all equal. there was the hunger that lived right beneath her skin, most likely etched right into the meat and bone : this one often cried out for cold order. it was why she never took a hot shower, but rather let frigid water cascade over her body. it was why her hands were often so steady, steady as a surgeon’s, never flinching away from the touch of biting metal or the sharp pricks of her needles. another hunger lived at her centre, this one being irrevocably more human. it reminded her that she was not immortal. it reminded her that she needed to eat, sleep, drink just like so many other creatures on this planet. THIS HUNGER ANNOYED HER THE MOST. without actually grumbling, ava gave an air of annoyance and moved her bag off her lap. below the table, she kept the long leather strap wound loosely around her ankle. following madelaine’s lead, ava swiped a piece of bread through the french dip and chewed on it slowly. the other woman was already heaping the other foods onto her plate, making neat distinct pools of colour on the creamy china. ava’s hand grasped her glass next.
THE HUNGER THAT LIVED IN HER MIND WAS THE ONE SHE LOVED AND FED THE MOST. her curiosity, her drive for knowledge, her brilliance which shone less like a light and more like a deeply black fireworks that exploded each time someone closed their eyes against a migraine or strike. this was the hunger that drove ava monday to create the life that she has, to speak clearly even in the presence of daunting women and aggressively ignorant men. ava cleared her throat and set down her glass. “ I APPRECIATE THE GESTURE, MADELAINE, BUT I DIDN’T COME HERE TO MAKE PERFUNCTORY SMALL TALK. isn’t there anything we can speak about that will make you less nervous and i less impatient? ”
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SLEUTHSTS.
empty stomach yearns for some form of nourishment to keep him afloat. alcohol lowering his guarded facade, although it was a weak one, and proves his emotional state which is actually more than what she’s seen. a scorned heart ? crying betrayal like a wolf howls at the moon ? no. calvin couldn’t care about the fact her intentions were ill, but more so that she left. THEIR FEELINGS WERE REAL it’d break him to the core to even come close at believing she lied about them. the soft whisper from her lips while they lay in bed … i love you … without request, without being prompted, without hearing the words leave his lips first. he stares at the empty glass. lips beginning to frown. lost in memories he forgets to look up and face the reality that she isn’t here. unable to move on. cemented to this consciousness of being with her. a low rumble comes from his belly. calling for him to order food, but as they go on and she continues ordering hers … he feels as though they must remain the same … and orders another drink. “ it’s amazing you know, [ words begin to slur … the alcohol reaching his speech ] finding someone and thinking the world of them, only for them to leave without so much as a note … i’ve had the thoughts you know … i’m not … i understand there’s a possibility she didn’t lo- … and they come and they go … but i don’t believe it … ”
CALVIN ? YEAH? ARE YOU SURE YOU LOVE ME? I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE SURE OF SOMETHING.
they continue playing in his mind like a movie. a marathon of good … so he can’t experience the bad. is this what it is to go through an abusive relationship? to know something isn’t good but hold on for hope? only remember the good ?
he watches her write. her hand quite aggressively writing down each detail she believed to be important … shortening the words and making it understandable to her. a puzzle she was determined to get the end result of. the waiter comes again, annoyed with his drink before telling them both they’re cut off. guess the drunken night comes to a halt … but with this last drink calvin decides to savour it. allow it to effect his vision and blur the edges a bit. funny how the substance could bring forth emotions you wanted to burry. thoughts at the back of your mind you refuse to let slip.
“ you said it’s hard going through life without having been played a fool at least once … this is my first. maybe that’s why i appear broken. unwilling to heal properly. sure i’ve dated before her, but when you’re in love you know it. feels different. with this knowledge i understand i was never in love before her. maybe that’s why i’m stuck. if you know of another way to move on from such an experience, please do tell … cause lord knows i’ve done my fair share of drinking. ” calvin sighs, lifting his glass to take a sip of his drink, then places it carefully down.
by this time he finally gives in, waving down the waiter and ordering from the menu a simple appetizer. he asks for some toast for the doctor, not wanting her to leave this meeting hammered. carbs were good for that. one by one each knuckle recites the hymn of a broken heart. crackcrackcrackcrack fingers stretch and curl feeling refreshed. hearing that his beloved wouldn’t be harmed eased his trust in this woman. maybe it was the alcohol. they’d been drinking for over an hour. an empty stomach on calvins part has the view now veiled with a glow. even the doctor is looking good. and then came her next statement … “ i couldn’t kill her if i tried. i’d have to be … destroyed beyond repair … angry with a rage that’d allow me to see past what i feel now. ” lips are pressed into a fine line as he ponders why it might be he still sits across from the doctor. alive.
“ I COULDN’T GIVE YOU A REAL REASON. she loved chaos … maybe to torture me … ”
one … two … three … and still no answers popping up. “ i can’t really understand it either … i think ..- ” i think she killed people … and i’m sad to say it doesn’t phase me. “ i think she killed people while we were together … i can’t tell if it’s a distorted memory or a dream … she was washing blood off her hands in the kitchen.. ” mind is a mess the way everything was a possibility. how could he be sure charlotte hadn’t distorted every part she stayed in the banks of his memory. he looks at the photo she holds in front of her face, and remembers the day it was taken. the smiles and laughter from that day. HE WISHES HE COULD GO BACK TO IT. “ if she had the urge to kill … she didn’t take it out on me, ” calvin downs the rest of his drink, then smiles at the doctor.
“ I DON’T KNOW WHY. I KNOW YOU SEE IT TOO, I’M NOT SPECIAL. ”
“ LOVE ISN’T EVERYTHING, ” she stated dryly. her face was like a blank page, passive. the only hint at her annoyance was at the edge of her voice as she bit out the neccessary words to keep this conversation going. they were far from done and she always knew it was going to be a long night, but now she worried whether the heart - broken detective could handle such a challenge. perhaps he would be more useful come morning. the pen stilled in her hand as he continued on and on, spinning the dreadful yarn of a love lost to confusion and some sort of inherent wickedness of this woman’s part. nothing in what he said could be take objectively ; IT WAS ALL TOO SUBJECTIVE, but love was complicated and difficult in that way. again, it wasn’t as though she could not understand his hurt... but empathy was nowhere to found in the space between her vital organs or the chambers of her heart ; and of course, there was no room for something so fleeting in the mechanisms of her mind. still... a little consolation could go a long way, perhaps even more so on a night like this. besides, she needed him focused on her - even if did hurt him to do so.
“ but if you really want to know, if you really need to know, then you’re best chance is to find her. THEN YOU CAN LOOK IN HER IN THE EYES AND ASK HER YOURSELF. ”
ava pressed her mouth into a thin line. inwardly, she groaned and fought the urge to roll her eyes. it was unfortunate that she was learning more about the detective than their target ; it was certainly backwards, wasn’t it? the pen began to grow heavy in her hand, the ink settling inside the column. there was her drink to distract herself with as he went on about how his heart was not as foolhardy as he might have hoped. or perhaps, that was just what love was, hm? that, or whoever ( whatever ) this woman was, she was real clever about these sort of things. ava laced her hands together, rested her elbows on the table, and stretched her neck this way and that. she looked down at the photographs as he spoke, taking in the woman’s pretty features and understood how a smiley, lovely mouth like that could easily lie ; even as her opinion of the detective continued to waver between indifferent and poor, she could not blame him for believing that she had loved him. love wasn’t everything, but it certainly could be so dangerous, couldn’t it?
she licked her lips and heaved a sigh, wanting to move on from these romantic deliberations. “ it’s not my expertise, detective. maybe you should call one of those relationship advice radio stations, instead. MAYBE IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME. ” her lips came together and her teeth clicked. if he sought any earnest emotion from her, he’d fail to find it.
the food arrived, then. she took the plate of toast and set it aside, not wanting to distract herself or clutter the space before her. once, twice, she tapped her pen on the edge of her notepad as the conversation turned back towards fascination and focus. a wry chuckle slipped past her lips as she considered which would be more entertaining : the reunion of this good detective and this apparently monstrous woman OR the attempted murder of the monstrous woman at the hands of the gold - hearted detective. her mouth pinched as she wrangled her humour back under control. DISTORTED MEMORY, DREAM... her pen scratched against the paper. it was beginning to become difficult to see, the last of the orange sun - rays faded from the sky, and any time now, they would flick on the lamps. URGE TO KILL...
“ if the intention was to torture you, then she has very well succeeded in that aspect, ” she said, continuing to write, crossing one leg over the other. “ you’re the detective, figure out whether or not that was truly her intention. it wouldn’t be wise to assume anything about her. LOOK TO THE EVIDENCE. ” she made a vague gesture about the table and the mess of papers. “ no, you’re nothing special to me, but unless we can see into her mind... WE’LL NEVER KNOW IF MAYBE SHE SAW SOMETHING IN YOU. ”
“ i’m going to ask you to do something difficult for me now. it could be helpful. i need you to remove yourself from the memories you have of her. IMAGINE HER AS AN ISOLATED ENTITY. what defines her, besides your love for her, detective james? ”
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GLORYSHOUND.
𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 / with coffee mainlined in your veins , with dark circles under your eyes , a millimeter of new beard growth dusted along your jaw. ‘ ooh , someone’s persnickety. ‘ the woman , and barely that , back then , aged eyes and a youthful face , dark hair grown long , had no more patience for you then than she did now. THINGS YOU HAVE SAID with eyes like glass marbles in your skull , a flat sort of light to them , manic behind glasses flashing blue toned glares back into the space. “ ah , “ you tut , noise cutting through the space from between white teeth. “ that would be because they aren’t as familiar with your workings , monday. “ cane swings in lithe hands , gloved fingers , he belongs here , in the way that all dark things belong in the night time , casting a black shadow among her plants , easily over-looked if not for the exposed teeth , the grin cutting across his face. A SKULL WITH A RICTUS SMILE.
two people unused to the crude unfair portions of sharing , the idea that they would need to. and still , there’s something similar to camaraderie in the space between them , “ oh but ava , “ lips curl around the name , cradled in the chasm of his mouth , “ such strong words , surely you can see the macabre implications. the chilling aspects of it , why , it tickles my fancy is all. “ it’s a full body shudder , a shiver of movement that pulses through him , leaves him wild and breathless with the thought of this , how WHIMSICAL he doesn’t say. how interesting , the light in her eyes played through the lens of clinical study , new blood and old. he is movement incarnate , a study in the central nervous system , a trick of the mind and the way long , spindly limbs loop into motion , he’s slender , too tall for the axis of his shoulders , leaving him with a constant look of being unbalanced. “ come on then , we’ve got places to be i suppose. “ a moment of stillness , one moment of consideration the manic light of him faded between one moment and the next , he does not offer his arm. “ what part of the road do ghosts like to travel the most ? “
AVA DOES NOT SHY AWAY FROM THIS STRANGENESS. whether by nature or training, it was inscribed into her very being now, this refusal to look away even when the grotesque and ugly appeared, even when by all laws of normalcy implored that she look away from such indecency, she won’t. she simply cannot. so, she watched him as he shuddered and writhed, watched with something like disgust on her face, and wondered that whenever ( if ever ) his body did begin to break apart, to decompose, WOULD THOSE THAT FOUND KNOW THAT HE WAS ONCE HUMAN? between his mind and his tongue, there was a shared and collaborative sort of madness. even her own name turned into something wrong and perverse which flicked off his tongue. monday... ava.... “ if they are unfamiliar with who i am and what i do, that’s their own fault. I’M NOT HIDING. ”
she adopted a haughty demeanour, tilting her back so that she could look down her nose at him, look at him through the dark film of her shades. “ but you know better. I JUST WISH YOU WOULD START ACTING LIKE IT. ” ava did not entertain the thought of how she might tickle him for very long lest she find herself shuddering horrifically and fighting nausea. instead, she fought the urge to kick his cane out from beneath his lean and see how quickly he could catch himself before tilting head - first into the traffic that zoomed just a meter or so away from where they stood. darker and darker, the overcast sky deepened in its obscurity and recklessness plagued the people who dared come out at this strange hour : her and edward were no exceptions, either. in a display of impressive restrained, ava monday simply turned and began down the boardwalk, trusting that he would follow and soon take the lead. the sound of the cane was inane ; it reminded her of the clicking sound some bats made in the unfathomable depths of cave to navigate. it was not as dark here, but they were infinitely more helpless. ava shook her head inwardly : PATHETIC. “ you’ve told me that one before, ” she remarked, crossing her arms and sniffing. “ YOU’RE NOT GOING TO LEAD ME TO A DEAD END, are you? nygma, you better know what you’re doing here. ”
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IDIOCIE.
MADELAINE. the men who accompany me cannot see through my skin. they see the constellations that scatter there, but they only gaze from a distance as one always does when looking skywards. i alone can see through my skin, & MY BONES TELL A DAMNING STORY.
the hotel lobby was busier than usual and she could not deduce a proper reason for it. it bustled with cliental and staff, a buzzing and humming system of exhausting humanity as those who could not decide whether they were homesick or not haunted this transient place instead. and yet, heads did not fail to turn as she descended the steps, the glow of mid - day sun surrounding her. a deity, an angel, perhaps? in contrast, the woman that she stared at, the woman she walked towards, seemed like an omen. the weight a dozen gazes vanished as ava stood. “ doctor monday, YOU’RE TOO KIND. ” the lady madelaine beamed, her mouth softening with a smile. it was difficult to take anything the good doctor remarked without a grain of salt, a rather sharp and rough grain of salt. “ thank you for making time to see me today. i know how busy you are, ” she said. without a word of welcome, she moved towards the atrium where a lunch table was reserved for the two of them. the sturdy grip that ava kept on her bag did not escape her ; so, the usually dauntless woman was nervous… HOW INTERESTING.
AVA. there wasn’t any use pretending that i couldn’t see the each odd gaze following us as we walked on. a smugness enveloped me, a haze like a poisonous fog, and brightens my face ( i can feel it : the gleam, the smile ) as though i was someone who would be happy to die. no one else would dare walk in stride with the marvellous lady madelaine, would they? her pleasantries were a carefully constructed display of loveliness and if i were less inclined to DISSECT much of what i see, perhaps i would allow the loveliness to sweep me away. but i am not less inclined.
a serious woman stood next the goddess cloaked in fine fabric. heads turned as they approached and entered the atrium. it was a beautiful space with a large, wide dome of glass above and well looked after greenery throughout. the metal frames were painted in green and white, and she could only imagine the tireless work needed to keep the glass so spotless. their table was near the back of the atrium, placed underneath a large palm plant for shade against the slanting sunlight. she cleared her throat as she took her seat, placing her bag momentarily on her lap as she settled in. a waiter appeared at madelaine’s side and pushed in her chair before offering them the special lunch menu. another woman materialized at her own elbow with tea, coffee, and biscuits. the tea was luxuriously fragrant ; ava wrinkled her nose and reached for the coffee, instead, and sipped with waning patience as madelaine ordered their lunch. SPICED LAMB, CHARRED KALE, STUFFED CABBAGE, FRENCH DIP... “ yes, thank you, ” she answered when asked if she would like something stronger to go with her coffee.
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when wordsworth said ‘ our meddling intellect / mis - shapes the beauteous forms of things: / we murder to dissect . ’
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Comfort Zone by Nadeem Karim
Please don’t delete the link to the photographers/artists, thanks!
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*** note to self : gather and organize notes on ava’s extensive collection of tattoos ; seeing as they cover a significant proportion of her body surface, it is important to make note of the intricate, diverse, sometimes dizzying array of art, designs, and scripts that ava has chosen to adorn her body. ....and work the details of them into meaningful mentions when writing...
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“Elektra”, Sophokles
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SLEUTHSTS.
hand raised to call forth the waiter , other hand continues to hold that cigarette shakily . eyes stare blankly at the woman . it almost appeared as if his soul had left his body . mind gone off to other worlds to reminisce about the little love affair he was in … but this look on his face only occurred when thinking about the strange and ominous memories she left . soon enough he’s snapping his fingers calling over that waiter to hurry his ass up so he could order heavy liquor . learn from previous mistakes , and never let it happen again . moments later he’s handed said drink , but he doesn’t savour it … no relishing in the taste . instead calvin downs his drink like a shot .
“ i got those so called feelings early on . thinkin’ back on it our first few meetings i got that … maybe i’m a dumbass for goin’ against it . ” it’s an odd feeling when you can pin point a time where things could’ve been different . would my life be better without her ? would i be happier having not known her ? questions like these just can’t be answered . i don’t really know if i can honestly sit here and say i’d be happier . maybe there is pain right now . heartache or whatever the fuck you wanna call it … but a life without her isn’t one i can imagine .
he’ll shrug his shoulders as if it were no big deal . slowly he feels the burn of the liquor in his throat , warmth in his stomach . hearing her say she believed was something else . being told it’s in his head and that he was just a spiteful ex … well it was beginning to get to him . “ you do ? ” his eyes become big , shocked another person could believe in this . he’ll smirk at the woman telling him how to do his job , but no anger … that impulsive train has left . let the ride of liquor progress .
“ she’s got her routines . i remember them , it’s just a matter of where she’s continuing them . she tried ruining my life . staying in the same city or state would just be stupid . she’s smarter than that . you want more pictures ? they’ll all just end up blurry . it’s rare her face shows up … almost like it’ll only happen if she allows it . ”
A NEW GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE ? a new game to play sherlock holmes and find the little thief who stole more than just his heart . a girl who knew her way round , but could possibly fuck up and leave tracks … unless it’s what she wanted . he knew her well enough to know if she wanted to be found , he’d find her . she’d be two steps ahead with a grin on her face . waiting for me to aim my gun at her , then lower it because that was always the game wasn’t it ? meet her at the end , and lose .
eyes narrow watching the way she held that pen along with feeling off about her last words in response . as much i can say i hate her and not mean it , to put her be in harms way gives me that so called gut feeling it’s a wrong idea . it’s not entirely obvious but once you’ve seen enough movies about ominous creatures … aliens and such you know what doctors want . they’ll cut her open and examine everything that’s missing inside her .
“ you wouldn’t hurt her , would you ? ”
he knows the true answer , but tests her to see if she was an honest woman . either way calvin was going to help this project of theirs . the need to know what charlotte was , and what her plans were would never escape him . cigarette ashed and put out once it’s reached it’s end . although he wants to light another and continue , he’ll just order another drink and slam it down his throat to get through this conversation about this woman he couldn’t get over .
she continued to sip her drink, her pen held in the other hand. the man was coming dangerously close to being left behind in the peripherals of her mind. he existed at the edge of her attention, speaking emotionally and drinking ; ALCOHOL ONLY EVER MANAGED TO CLEAN THE WOUNDS, detective, it won’t go so far as to heal them. belatedly, she realized that he had posed a sort of question to her. without looking up from the notes they had made over a particular image, ava hummed an agreeable note. it was low and seemed to stay stuck in the middle of her throat, her lips pressed together until bloodless to get the sound out. “ the details of your story work together to create a sensible picture. from what you’ve described, this woman exists outside of our current realm of understanding, our current acceptance of reality. doesn’t mean you’re wrong or delusional. ”
HOW LUCKY ARE YOU ARE TO HAVE SEEN A GLIMPSE OF THE UNKNOWN. a heart is a small price to pay for it, she thought.
on her notepad, she jotted down abbreviations of his thoughts. this thing appeared human, so it was within reason that it should exhibit some human characteristics. when it came to studying animal behaviour, the nature of each of species could usually be boiled down to one purpose or drive. normally, it was food or sex. ava suspected that this creature hungered for more than just that. suddenly, she raised her gaze and stared at calvin ; a new line of thought cutting her gaze and leaving a new gleam to behold. it occurred then, that detective calvin james was alive and well. ( or, at the very least, alive. ) this creature had left him alive. “ if you manage to find or take more photographs, i won’t turn them away, but they shouldn’t be a priority. ” ava took another sip of her drink, this one quick and meant to loosen her tongue.
the glass hit the table, out of the way of their work. she kept her impeccable posture, but inclined her head until the bones of her neck jutted from beneath her skin. each vertebrae pressed clearly against her skin and were clarified by the sunset - light that shone on her. she was writing, line after line, onto her notepad ; most of it was in an unique shorthand only she was fluent in - her own assistant only just beginning to study such a complex lingual system. at the end of it all, she scratched a QUESTION MARK at the bottom of the page. then, she down the rest of her drink, waving the empty glass at the nearest server, allowing the crystal to catch the light and split into colours. a new page was revealed and ava finally sat back in her chair.
“ NOT WITHOUT REASON. i won’t shy away from doing so if i find it necessary, detective. ”
a new drink arrived and again, ava took it right out of the waiter’s hand. “ but i won’t kill her, if that’s what you’re worried about, ” she continued. “ maybe you would like to keep that part of it for yourself. i’m not keen on ruining the value of a live subject otherwise. ” she watched him carefully as she spoke. the effects of lost love showed itself on him like an illness often rendered skin pale, eyes dead, lips dry. admittedly, he wore the look of a broken heart well ; however, such an observation did not matter in the least. ava tried to see him from the perspective of this woman : what did she see in him? a target, a victim. a lover, AN ADVERSARY? “ detective... ” from the pile of papers and photographs, ava picked out - one of the few photos which had not been covered with their writings. in this one, the woman was smiling, unguarded and close up ; this one was personal.
she held up the photo for calvin to look straight at, only her right eye just visible at the edge of the photo. “ WHY DO YOU THINK SHE LEFT YOU ALIVE? ”
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gloryshound·:
@wrmwd 𝚂𝙰𝙸𝙳 “ 𝙸 𝙰𝙼 𝙱𝙴𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙵𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙻𝚈 𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙲𝙸𝚅𝙸𝙻. ” @ 𝙴𝙳𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙳 !
𝚁𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝚃𝙷𝚈 𝙾𝙵 𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝙻𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 / no hot-blooded roiling thing , there is no anger in him. brash words or not the eyes that meet hers may well as be DEAD. something not un-familiar to the both of them. IT TAKES A CERTAIN TYPE if lawyers are sharks then they are parasites , symbiotic , overwhelming , flooding and dismembering , taking apart what they would. OPPOSITES IN NEARLY ALL THINGS. the cold synthetic skin of metal , wires as veins , criss-crossing in blue blood and sharp red. BIOLOGY: in all it’s heaving lush and withering glory , dismantling what makes up that black edge of science and godhood. WHERE ANGER WOULD BLOOM , hubris colored behind ribs , where blood would heat , there is no fire at her tone. CLINICAL / COLD : birds of a feather , like to like , cut from the same cloth.
almost placating , smooth voiced , the nasal whine of it near trapped in his throat. hands long to tighten on staff , on cane. head and hat tipped , acknowledgement of their words. “ ah , but what is CIVILITY doctor ? man-made , construct as time , held sway to the morals of the day , the place and the deciding lines of familiarity and culture. let us say that you are in passing moment not……” the pause is entirely for dramatic effect , the twitch of his lips. THE SLY CREEPING LINE OF HIS SMILE. “ actively antagonistic. “ the hum that fills the air is more reminiscent of mechanical whir , a well run factory than the faint song of cicadas. shoes sound clear and crisp against floor , CIRCLED HER. not predator and prey , too cautious by half for that. tired eyes took in eyes too large , stunning in sunken face. “ well doctor , “ respect teasing along the edges of half-playful tone. “ i hear you may very well be interested in gotham’s bumps in the night. “
WITHIN THE CAREFULLY CURATED MUSEUM OF MY MIND,
( edward nygma ) : one of the few living specimens .
SHALL WE ATTEMPT SOMETHING STRANGE, OLD FRIEND? a blade, cold and sterile, pressed to the skin of our forearms, a long and straight slit from wrist to elbow, someone’s gloved hands to peel back the meat and skin, and we shall peer inside. what should we find, are we so different, you and i? ava knew that she would bleed, profusely, an embarrassingly lively red shade. but she looked now at him : a face familiar thanks to the passing of time, ( yes, edward, only a construct, only a construct ), and thought how this man managed to seem to alive. no one would question those curving lips to anything but alive. FISH - LIKE EYES ROLLED IN THEIR SOCKETS, STEADY ‘PON THEIR AXIS, HELD BY STRONG MUSCULAR STRINGS. intimidation was struck from ava monday’s vocabulary but not from the expanse of her knowledge. her straight black hair, cut short to the shoulders, no longer left long like it was back in her girlish days, like it was when they had first laid eyes on each other ; the dark curtains were swept back behind her ears. “ RIGHT, ” she spat, pulling her blazer back into place.
a memory superimposed. a woman caught in the arms of large, black - dressed
figures. a wild woman whose hair covers her face, but lets through her
screams. there is a heart - stilling moment where she defies gravity,
lifted by the vehemence of her anger, of her incivility.
“ EXACTLY, ” she hissed, entertaining a twitch in her leg, a want to kick his cane out from underneath his balanced lean. “ so, what is their fucking problem? ”
here, a man and a woman stand face to face. never had she stepped foot in this accursed city - his home. ava was indifferent to the bustling, structured setting, but this city was something special, wasn’t it? isn’t that what the world said about it? momentarily, ava peered up at the sky, saw the spread of thin clouds across the greyish sky, and wondered how it would change come nighttime. THE CITY COMES ALIVE AT NIGHT, MONDAY! WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE IT! IT’LL SCARE YOU. from her pocket, she drew a pair of sunglasses, vintage, and slipped the frames over her eyes, unappreciative of the way edward was staring down at her. “ YOU ARE WELL AWARE OF MY INTERESTS, NYGMA. there’s no need to make them into something grotesquely light - hearted. actually, i quite abhor the implications of it. ” a gust of wind scurried along the ground and brought a smudge of dirt to the toe of her ava’s shoe. she frowned, growing impatient with his antics, his unmoving form. “ WELL? SHALL WE BEGIN? ”
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I’m an atheist because I don’t need a god to explain the universe.
Jonathan L. Howard, Carter & Lovecraft (via rsencrantz)
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