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writer-in-thx-clouds · 3 years

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bye- this was amazing, I absolutely adored it.

Hi! So I've been reading a lot of you stuff, and it's great! And I was wondering if you could do a Jess Mariano x reader where the reader helps Jess get over Rory. And Jess realizes that he's already in love with the reader? If not, it's fine.

Thank you!!

Summary: Everyday since Jess and Rory broke up, Jess has gone to sit on the bridge. Everyday, you join him and sit together until, one day, he breaks the silence.

Warnings: Language, this is kinda angsty. Like it ends on a positive note because you know he realizes he loves the Reader but like this isn’t intense fluff.

Words: 1.3k

A/N: Thank you!! And yes of course, I hope you like this! Also, your request was so sweet and polite, I really appreciate that :). I know that this doesn’t strictly stick to canon, but I thought this made more sense. Moreover, I just love writing Gilmore Girls when it’s set in Stars Hollow. Anyway, I hope all that’s okay <3

Oh one more thing! I’m really tired rn and I formatted this super rushed so if something’s off or I forgot something...whoops

(gif not mine)

It had been a month since Rory broke his heart. Jess Mariano still visited the bridge everyday, sitting there, legs hanging over the water, disposition more solemn than you’ve ever seen. You hated seeing him like this-- his light, sarcastic remarks had become cruel and acerbic. Some days, you barely recognized him. Despite this, he was still your best friend and you knew that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t give up on you either.

Lost in thought, you allowed your legs to subconsciously carry you to the bridge, as they did every other night. Jess was illuminated by the moon, the cold, Connecticut air ruffling through his hair. You came and wordlessly sat next to him, something he’d grown to expect.

Every time started the same. You’d sit down and just be there with him, keeping him in silent company for the first fifteen minutes. He could talk if he wanted to but almost never did. Sometimes, he’d take your hand and play with your fingers. Sometimes, he’d notice you were cold and wrap his jacket around you. Sometimes, your eyes would briefly meet and you’d give him a reassuring smile.

Then, you always asked if he wanted to talk about it. Usually he’d just shake his head. Occasionally, he’d complain about her, saying he deserved better and that she was a terrible girlfriend. Occasionally, he’d complain about himself, asking why he was so broken that he had to fuck up the one good relationship he’d ever been in. He never cried. At least, not in front of you.

Expecting the same as every prior encounter, you walked up and sat next to him.

“Hi,” He greeted, catching you off guard.

You made sure to scale back your reaction, not wanting to scare him off with a huge response. “Hey.”

Jess wordlessly got up and held a hand out to you. Taking it, you allowed him to stand you up and pull you into his chest. He buried his face in your neck, tears running down his cheeks. As sobs were pulled from his body, you gently rocked him back and forth, trying to pour every ounce of comfort you had into him.

Eventually, Jess pulled back and, without meeting your gaze, returned and sat down on the bridge. You followed. You took a risk, opting to rub your hand up and down his back, letting him know you were still here and encouraging him to share, if needed.

“Why do you still come here?”

You looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Why do you still come here?” He repeated, finally meeting your eyes. “All I do is sit here, silently. So why do you still come here? I know you have shit you could be doing”

“Because you’re my best friend. Because you’re in pain. Because you have a tendency to shut the entire world out and I’m not going to let you plunge into darkness.”

“I just don’t understand how it all got so fucked up. It was fine! Rory and I were fine! And then it all just got screwed up and now I’m here and she’s gone and it’ll never be the same again!” His voice broke, anger and pain evident in his voice.

“Hey!” You said, voice strong. “You’re going to be alright, Jess. I know you loved her, I know. But your life isn’t over just because she isn’t in it anymore. Please, you know how much she meant to you, but you have to start looking forward. You’ll never get past this if you keep clinging onto what could have been.”

“Fuck, I know that! I do! I just- I really thought we would work out, you know?”

Your gaze softened. Jess wasn’t always the easiest to talk to but pretty much no one ever saw this level of vulnerability with him. As he spoke, he realized this, too. He was never more honest, more open, than when he was with you.

“I know you did. I thought you would, too.” It killed you to not scream ‘I’m right here!’ as he talked about his failed relationship. But you wouldn’t do that to him right now. He needed a friend, not someone dumping all these romantic feelings on him. Besides, you’d grown accustomed to swallowing your feelings for him. You realized long ago that he’d never like you back and you much preferred to have him in your life, even as only a friend, than lose him altogether.

Jess and you slipped back into that silence you were so accustomed to. He thought about the last month, about what a shit friend he’d been to you. He was beating himself up mentally, stuck in this unhealthy spiral. He knew you didn’t deserve it but he felt like if he pushed you away, you’d be better off. Further, he was trying to punish himself; isolating from you was the most painful consequence of all.

He took a breath, the gravity of everything settling on him. He realized how good you’ve been, how you’d sacrificed countless hours to simply keep him company. How you spent your energy ensuring he didn’t let himself drown completely. How he could turn to you always. How you were the kindest person he’d ever met. How you were the only person he’d allowed himself to trust on an emotional level. How your displays of affection made him feel safe. How you respected his boundaries and never forced him to talk about anything. How you just understood.

Shit, He thought, I’m fucking in love with Y/N.

Instead of telling you that, Jess started off by breaking the silence one more by thanking you.

“For what?” You wondered.

“Everything. I dunno, being you, I guess.” You looked at him quizzically, lips threatening to curl into a laugh and his inability to convey his thoughts.

“Just accept the ‘thank you’ alright?” Jess continued, defensively.

“You’re welcome.” Despite your smirk, your words were sincere. It truly did mean a lot to you that he’d come to you.

Somehow, this boy continued to surprise you. Suddenly, his lips were on yours and, being stunned, you froze. Jess pulled back immediately, an apology written all over his face. Before he could get it out, though, it was like your brain started working again and you pulled him back in. He smiled into the kiss, a relieved sigh passing through the both of you. You could hardly believe this was happening but you weren’t going to question it, it’s all you’ve wanted for so long.

Your heart was racing as you pulled away. You looked at him, no idea what comes next.

“I think I’m in love with you, Y/N”

Your mind went blank. Even though you had no idea what was going to happen after the kiss, you hadn’t even entertained the notion of him being in love with you.

You scrambled to find something to say but he cut you off. “It’s alright, you don’t need to respond. I just, I wanted you to know. I think that I was too stupid to realize it before, I mean I was so obsessed with trying to figure out what went wrong with Rory. I didn’t even think about moving on and then I guess we were talking and I realized…”

He trailed off but you knew the meaning of his pauses. Collecting yourself, you decided it was your turn to say something. “I think I’m in love with you, too. Actually, I know I’m in love with you. And I have been for a really long time, I just didn’t want to mess everything up. I love our friendship, I don’t want to lose you if we start dating and something happens.”

“You won’t. Nothing’s gonna happen.” He said it with such certainty, you couldn’t help yourself. You believed him.

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