wopersonal

[wopersonal]

Let me tell you about that thing that happened a few weeks ago and that I promised some nice people on the internet I would write down in more detail than Twitter permits.

Since none of us was there for all of this, I’ve put the following together from the memories of three people.

Once again, my partner (F) and I were traveling with a very good friend (referred to as a Long Streak of Nothing – LSN) in the somewhat amusing constellation of being friends but also having them as our boss and client, and us being paid for stepping in if they’re about to do something ill-advised and making sure they’re getting through the weekend in one piece and, ideally, not coming out any worse for wear at the other end.

This particular situation vaguely started as we were doing our first day in the event, which was going reasonably smoothly for us while LSN had some fun trolling a buddy of theirs (not really my problem, if they’re saying he’ll be fine with it then I’m going to believe that until and unless proven differently). Among the event-typical issues that are barely avoidable, one thing stood out repeatedly: One of the other guests (G) didn’t seem to get along great with his assistant.

That’s where things are starting to get difficult for me as I have to keep reminding myself – not my circus…

Now, usually, we’re booked to provide the Pas (personal assistants) for the entire event and I’m located somewhere between team management and team lead – and in any case in a place where my job would include going over and asking if things are quite alright or if we need to swap PAs around in this that sort of situation. I’ve certainly done that in the past with other people.

In this case, we’re not part of the event operation as such, but ONLY LSN’s privately hired PAs, brought along because they have reasons to have little trust in the staff provided by the promoter. So a.) this is none of my business and b.) interfering with a running event as an outsider generally is NOT a great idea.

So the only thing to do is pull myself together – though in particular in light of the fact that G. is dealing with a body rendered widely uncooperative by a stroke suffered in the past and, for particular reasons had some more than usual difficulties controlling his own wheelchair that weekend, meaning that he had to doubly rely on his “PA”’s cooperation, there were a few moments where I was rather close to getting up and asking some questions after all. That’s the sort of situation where you just NEED a good fit – and when it’s my job to make sure that everyone has a PA by their side that they are comfortable with, that’d be the sort of situation I would have an extra-close eye on. As it is, I make myself stay put and remind myself G. is all grown up and likely perfectly well able to handle the situation. And anyway, most likely he’s bringing his own staff just as LSN does, and quite honestly, the way we interact with them isn’t always the most professional when viewed from the outside. We’ve been chastised by promoter’s staff for our way of talking to them before, too (needlessly so, but of course the promoter did not have any way of knowing that we’re not just hired staff but rather bordering on found-family-adopted siblings… which, yes, causes our interaction to be a good deal less professional than it would be with someone who’s “just” a client.)

From the beginning, our plan had been spending the night out in a pub with LSN’s previously-trolled buddy (B) and at least one of his local friends (Basti), with the latter choosing the pub. B’s extended the idea that – “the more the merrier” - we should use the big dinner to ask around and see who else might like to join us. Alright then.

The event closes for the day and we have the option of either going to hunt our own food or to joint the big pre-organized dinner for all staff. That’s where we go with B, sitting at a table with some of B’s colleagues who immediately agree to come along to the pub later. At one point, G. and his “PA” come in. They sit at a small table off to the side where they’re on their own. The three of us exchange some looks. It seems weird, but … circus and all of that. Surely he’ll speak up if he doesn’t want to do it that way, right?

At one point, B. loudly asks if anyone else would like to join us. Apart from his colleagues, there’s one other couple raising their hands – and so is G. His “PA” immediately starts gesturing “no” at him. Still not our circus. We nod his way, briefly go through the relevant items mentally: are we going to need an additional car due to greater space requirement, where to park for getting in, B., can you text Basti and ask if the pub is properly accessible, and if it isn’t to find another one? Thanks.

As the dinner is drawing to a close and everyone’s just sitting there chatting anymore, we decide it’s about time for us to get going. In 20 minutes, maybe? At this point, G. is sitting at his table all on his own. F. goes over to tell him we’re about to get ready to leave. He comes back to tell us that G. says he’s not coming but “it felt off”. Could one of us go over and ask (F.’s English is fine but he’s not a native speaker and he’s not always very confident in his language skills).

LSN gets up and goes over, half-expecting G. to simply be completely done in after a day of working the event – but he isn’t. If anything, he’s amused by the degree of exhaustion that bit of event is causing in several of the “Young People”. LSN asks if G. isn’t feeling like hanging out with us “Young People” then. G. says no of course that wouldn’t be a problem. LSN promises to shut up and leave if told to, but expresses some confusion about the change of decision, if G. isn’t tired and doesn’t mind the company. G. gives him a look and points out that “well, USUALLY the idea is that people ask [him] but it’s tacitly understood that [he] will decline so as to avoid giving anyone the feeling they’re excluding [him] on purpose and still not being in the way.” And that, yeah, he shouldn’t have said “yes” before.

LSN beckons us over, shares that. We make clear that if we’re inviting “free for all” then we MEAN “free for all” and G. is more than welcome to join. I say, maybe a bit impatiently, that really all I need to know is whether to park the car out front (little time to get in) or around the back (plenty of time to get in). G. looks back and forth between us with a sort of “Let’s see how you’ll wriggle out of this one” look and says: “Around the back.”

It’s sometime between 7:30 and 8 PM at this point, by the way.

People pack up. B. and I go to get the cars.

In the meantime, G’s “PA” returns, finds out that there has been a “change of plan” and goes OFF: No, there is NO WAY G. can come along with us, what an outrageous idea on his side (and ours) and ANYWAY if he’s done eating she’s going to take him to his room and put him to bed now. (All of that loudly in front of everyone still present.)

Erm.

LSN sends F. to go and tell B. and me that it’ll take a while. F., knowing me, tells me that I might want to come back in. B. joins us. We return to LSN and one Tom demonstratively blocking the path to the other door, while G. is trying to argue with his “PA”, who keeps cutting him off (talking is fine; talking *fast* is difficult).

She looks around, looks at ME – maybe because she thinks I look like I might be on her side or maybe because I’m the only other person in the group she thinks she can identify as female, who knows – and says: “Say something!”

There is exactly one thing I have to say in that situation, and I’ll gladly say that loud and clearly: You don’t send an adult person to bed at eight against their will and wish just because it’s convenient for you. Period.

LSN gives me a broad grin and notes that he’s happy to have seen me angry for once.

I inform him that the “escalator” has barely moved yet.

The “PA” points out that *she* wants her well-deserved evening off.

B. tells her in the most annoyed tone that she’s free to do that since she’s neither invited nor needed.

G. points out that she’s actually needed because he’s going to need help with a fuckton of things and won’t be able to get into bed without help later.

Brief coordination leads to the general consensus that we have plenty of people who can help out if he’s comfortable enough with having a total stranger help him. If not, that is, of course, understandable.

G. notes that most of the people present are far less of strangers to him than the lady is since HIS usual assistant had been unable to join him this weekend and this “PA” had been provided by the promoter, apparently hired from some local care agency. (And that explains more than it doesn’t about why things had seemed off – she didn’t have the first idea of *our* sort of job and very little interest in doing *hers* properly). G’s conclusion: Can’t be worse any worse than the last two days, let’s try this.

The ”PA” goes off again, claiming he’s her responsibility, and she couldn’t possibly NOT come along etc. etc.

This gets her exactly the same lecture I would give our own staff in this sort of moment – except that in that case I would have asked them to step outside before laying into them.

While she has a rare speechless moment, B. adds: Stay or come as you like, but *we* are going now.

=> Fast Forward, Pub.

Basti is waiting for us, we quickly explain why we’d taken that long. The “PA” has actually come along and does her best to be in the way.

The first attempt of placing orders is cut short because the waiter at our table clearly has issues with serving a visibly disabled guest. The entirely impossible “What’s he going to have” ends with switch of waiters to someone who is actually willing to do their job properly. (I have very little patience for this sort of thing, and the preceding part of that evening had not helped). Like most of the others, G. is ordering a glass of whiskey. The “PA” immediately cuts him off again, insisting that that’s entirely impossible and of course he can’t have any alcohol! LSN and F. had things to say about my facial expression there afterwards. I look at G., who waves his hand at me and says “Go on!” (at this point it’s clear that I am far harder to cut off or talk over than he is even if the other party is not cooperating).

I ask the “PA” if she’d like to step outside with me quickly.

She all but screams at me that she would certainly not do that, and suspects that I might not want everyone else to hear what I’m going to say to her.

Apart from the fact that they all know exactly what I’m going to say (or at least have a very good idea of it), that was meant to be one last bit of consideration for her rather than tearing her a new one in front of everyone. But I am happy to oblige. [Insert lecture on assistant’s job, decision-making rights of mature adults, limits of assistant’s competencies and a helping of ‘you may get some leeway in terms of enforcing promoter���s rules against your charge’s wishes WITHIN the event but this is not within the event, which means that the only person deciding what G. is doing or not is G. himself – and G’s assistant will either assist or get out of the way. The poor waiter, who was still standing there, may have caught a strongly worded reminder that the things to be served were to be the things ordered by the people who are going to drink them. That one may not have been necessary. Sorry for that. And yes, that is entirely irrespective of my own thoughts about the necessity of alcoholic beverages.] (Also, this was G.’s last day of the event, so the risk of him having to suffer for it the day after was non-existent. Had that been differently, a more diplomatic approach surely would have been in order.)

“PA” leaves, slamming the door behind her. Half an hour later she’s back with one of the promoter’s people who tried to tear into ME … and in return got a detailed breakdown of things going on and being asked if he actually meant to tell us it was fine to impose an 8-PM-curfew on someone or telling them what to order/drink, etc. (G. once again pointed out that he’d already told her that she could have her night off, he’d manage, and that she wasn’t in any manner required to hang out with us here). At that point, the promoter’s rep pulled her outside for a talk and then apparently left, while she came back and sat at a different table, casting dark glances at us for the rest of the night.

The thing I find the most shocking about the entire evening is G. saying at one point that that was the first time in a decade or so that he was just spending a night out in the pub with people for other than work reasons.

(There were some more bits following that, but that’s another story, to be told another day).

#PA work #disability issues

[wopersonal]

every time i see kate mulgrew and john de lancie in the same video or picture i remember that story that somebody told about how one time after they had seen him naked everyone was like going around being like “john de lancie has the biggest penis of any star trek actor” and they were all just losing their minds over that and they ran over to her and were like “kate, john de lancie has the biggist penis of any star trek actor” and she just deadpan went “i know.”

[wopersonal]

And once again, an amazing, amazing, amazing illustration by @c0ffeebee. I'm so in love!

illustration commissioned by lovely @alteregonfiction for their story Winds of Change: Autumn Storms 💙 

Through the windows of the store, David was a tall man with dark blond hair that reached the collar of his t-shirt and an impressive rack of antlers over his head that shouldn’t have fit through the doorway, never mind into a car.

The burden he carried in his arms was a young woman, black-haired, wrapped in a thin blanket and looking just a little faded against the solid backdrop that was David, who stood in place for a moment to give him a good view.

Graham unlocked the door and held it open.

“What the hell?” he asked the moment David had stepped inside.

“Found her in the park like this,” David said without stopping on his way to the back door – the one that said Employees only. Graham jumped to open that door wider. “She’s not waking up, and I’m not sure what exactly is going on with her. Did you get a look at her?”

“She looked just as she does now,” Graham said. “A bit faded.”

[wopersonal]

Do you mind sharing your sources? I’d be interested in that - I’m from Europe, and as far as I am aware, most of those takes of wolf attacks are anecdotal and/or from the realms of fairy tales; wolf hunts primarily because they were seen as a threat to lifestock. Sure, there would have been incidents, but you’d need a pretty damned hungry wolf pack to go after humans. Also, “our” wolves (speaking now specifically about the region where Little Red Riding Hood originates) have always been on the smallish side. So yes, a hungry wolf would go after a child, but... “the norm”? If I remember correctly, Linnell et al. cite the largest number of documented wolf attacks in the course of a century  world-wide is in the realm of 2500-3000 from 1801 - 1900. That is attacks, not deaths. A third suspected or assumed to have been rabid. Unknown share of hybrids/escaped former pets/feral dogs included. In any case, counting 3000 attacks (on the upper end) world-wide in a century, I would not actually speak of “the norm” for any one location. So erm... sorry for the rambling. I'd like to acquire your sources and add them to mine if you don’t mind. Pretty please?

Could I get a cursed biology fact on my favorite animal, the wolf? thanks.

North American wolves are shy and tend to avoid people, and there are very very VERY few documented attacks on humans. 

however, this was very much not the case with the Eurasian Wolves, which appear to have been full-on people eaters.

records from the middle ages onwards suggest that wolf attacks on humans in Eurasia were very much the norm, and that humans were a fairly rare but not unusual inclusion on the wolf menu! (ESPECIALLY CHILDREN, HOO BOY.) unfortunately this is mostly why humans almost totally exterminated wolves from Europe, and populations are only now beginning to be reintroduced and reestablished. this isn’t the middle ages anymore, so hopefully things go better this time around for both the wolves and the humans.

but boy, Little Red Riding Hood hits a little different when you know what it’s based on, that’s for sure.

[wopersonal]

Can I have a cursed giant creature fact?

sure! at lengths of over 55 feet and weights of 600 pounds, our friend the Oarfish surely qualifies :)

we don’t know a whole lot about the world’s longest bony fish, aside from that it rarely comes to the surface and inspired most of the Sea Serpent legends floating around. they’re fairly rare and live only in the Abyssopelagic Zone, around 3,300 feet down. but this is old news to everyone who’s seen the info posts about these guys going around, so what’s so cursed about this? well, I’ll tell you! 

have you ever wondered what the Oarfish gets up to, way down there? we didn’t realize this until we started sending ROVs and submarines into the deep sea to observe live ones, but Oarfish are... a little nontraditional as fish go. 

see, they don’t normally swim horizontally all majestic-like like in the pictures up there, it turns out that instead they spend their time just kind of... hanging vertically in the water column. 

motionless, staring at the surface with all 50+ feet of them vanishing into the darkness below.

and I don’t know about you but frankly, I find that a little creepy. 

[wopersonal]

[wopersonal]

Hmm. Personally I find all of those things leagues better than Voyager or Enterprise, and both Picard and Discovery a lot closer to what Star Trek has meant to me growing up. I wonder if it's an age things, in the way of depening on what material was available when you had your Star-Trek-formative years

hey is star trek picard getting any better? i’m on ep 3 and idek, why can’t they learn from the mistakes they already made with discovery and those awful abrams-reboots

[wopersonal]

hello, how are you? :) i was wondering what do you think about howard carter? i know you've talked a lot about how modern egyptologists are aware of the shady ethics behind some old egyptologists' work, so what do egyptologists think of howard carter now? I stumbled upon what he did to Tutankhamun's body a few years ago and it broke my heart since I used to idolise Carter as a child. Thank you for your blog, i loved what you said about the recent Nesyamun study! :)

Egyptologists think really no differently about him than we ever had. Every early archaeologist, and even ones from as late as the 70s and 80s, did things that we’d consider now to not be the best practice or even terrible practice. Do we disregard them and their work because of this? No. Should we shame their legacy so much so that we ignore their good contributions? Also no.

We cannot fall into the trap of “oh that archaeologist from 1902 didn’t do things like we do now and they did some damage. Now their terrible and irredeemable” That’s reactionary and lacking nuance and objectivity.

Carter, for the damage he did do, did a vast amount of good when excavating Tutankhamun’s tomb. He got Harry Burton to photograph every single object, a practice that was started with this specific excavation and carried on ever since. Then he catalogued meticulously each and every object and it’s findspot within the tomb itself. Other archaeologists at the time, not just in Egyptology, didn’t always fully catalogue their finds which means we’re constantly trying to figure out which dog or site something comes from. He did an enormous amount of good for the practice of archaeology during that dig and we still use many of the practices (though improved) today.

As for his treatment of Tutankhamun’s body? Well that requires nuance as well. Did he damage the body to get amulets and the mask off? Yes he did. No one disputes this and it’s not great that he did that. Was Tutankhamun’s body already in an absolute state by the time of Carter’s excavation? Yes it was falling apart. It’s noted in Carter’s writings that the body was crumbling and broken as well as stuck to the inside of the coffin. Carter is not responsible for the poor mummification and crumbly nature of Tutankhamun’s body. The mask situation? Well the head of Tutankhamun was already detached from the rest of his body, but it was stuck inside the mask. He was under pressure from the Egyptian government and sponsors to get the mask and head unstuck and all the jewels/amulets off him. Did he do it in a good way? Hell no. Did he really have any other choice? Not really. He did what he thought best at the time.

History is complicated. Historical figures are complicated. To borrow a phrase this site has overused to the point where it’s lost all meaning, everyone is ‘problematic’. If we idolise them we’re bound to be disappointed when we discover they’re not perfect. No archaeologist from the past is perfect, and some of them make me groan when I have to deal with their work, but their work is the foundation of the work I do and I have to acknowledge both the good and bad. We don’t suddenly “hate” someone because they did something bad 100+ years ago. We recognise the faults and seek not to make them again.

[wopersonal]

Maybe he’s ordering a decaf because he has a heart condition, and you’re about to give him a heart attack and send him to the hospital.

Or maybe he’s just ordering a decaf.

Maybe she’s ordering sugar free because she’s diabetic, and you’re about to put her six feet under.

Or maybe she’s just ordering sugar free,

Maybe they’re ordering non-dairy because they’re intolerant, and you’re about to ruin their day. Maybe they’re allergic, and you’re about to sponsor an all black event in an open field.

Or maybe they’re just ordering non-dairy.

Maybe they ordered gluten free because they can’t process it, and you’re about to destroy their digestive tract.

Or maybe they’re just ordering gluten free.

Maybe they’re ordering this way just because they don’t want the food, for whatever reason.

But are you willing to bet their life on it?

[wopersonal]

i feel like counter-trolling is an essential skill that kids online aren’t learning and it’s kinda worrying

like back in my day, the day of online forums, learning how to trick someone in to getting themselves banned was an essential skill. if you could tell someone was a chud, you would ask them short, leading questions and watch them get frustrated and post longer and longer rants until they said something that would catch a mod’s attention and get them banned and/or at least publicly humiliated. 

and guess what? that’s the exact same tactics the alt-right use now. these people are exclusively acting in bad faith. every interaction these people post online is done with the intention of getting someone to respond to them so they can screenshot the massive paragraphs of text and laugh

so, what’s the solution?

dare ‘em to post dick pics.

don’t acknowledge the content of the stuff they post. if you see someone trying to engage you in bad faith just dare them to post pictures of their penis until they either get frustrated and leave or get frustrated and do it. either way they lose. 

this is the tactic used by the fans of a podcast (that i haven’t listened to) called the Chapo Trap House, and 4chan’s /pol/ users fucking HATE them. they hate Chapo Trap House and think they’re crazy because Chapo Trap House fans refuse to engage in meaningful debate and repeatedly demand dick pics. they get frustrated and leave. it works. 

[wopersonal]

As a translator myself... THIS.

My friend just sent this to me and said "you will appreciate this" and she was VERY correct

[wopersonal]

So how do they make that?

[wopersonal]

interesting how when ppl mention they tricked ppl into eating v*gan food under the assumption it was normal food people are fine with it/happy but if you trick a v*gan into eating meat you’re a terrible person and it starts WW3

[wopersonal]

windows 10 is garbage so every time i boot up the computer i have to run command prompt and enter

net.exe stop “Windows Search”

so that the shitty goddamned search/cortana feature that i never fucking use stops running in the background taking up all my fucking disk space

[wopersonal]

One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures.

[wopersonal]

THIS

You know what? No. No, Hatsune Miku did not write Harry Potter.

J. K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter. And we need to accept that.

Harry Potter isn’t some pure unproblematic beacon of perfection that we can just choose to erase the scummy author from and enjoy without guilt. Harry Potter is very much rooted in Rowling’s view of the world. The blatant antisemitism in the portrayal of the goblins, the entire race of slave creatures that actually really like being slaves and Hermione’s attempts to free them are largely played off as a joke, the almost complete dearth of canon characters of color (and then when she does put canonical characters of color in, they’re… Nagini…), the complete lack of respect for other cultures (the Japanese wizarding school literally translates to “Magic Place” in Japanese, Cho Chang is not even remotely a proper Chinese name, don’t get me started on her usage of Native American folklore), the almost complete lack of LGBTQ+ characters, the “Dumbledore is gay!” baiting, the lycanthropy-as-HIV metaphor that involves one of the werewolves intentionally infecting as many people as he can, with a preference for targeting children, no less…

These are all very much present in Harry Potter. They’re not things you can just ignore. And they’re there because Rowling wrote them in.

I know you read Harry Potter as a kid and loved it. I know when you read Harry Potter as a kid you probably didn’t even notice how shitty all this stuff was. I certainly didn’t. But you can’t go back to that time. You can’t go back to when you were 10, when you were consuming this media and loving it uncritically without notice or regard for its more problematic elements. You can’t go back to being a kid again.

And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re required to wholeheartedly condemn this important part of your childhood. You can still enjoy these books while acknowledging that they’ve got some really shitty things in them. You can enjoy Harry Potter as a mature adult. You don’t have to be a kid again to like it. And you’re perfectly allowed to hate on Rowling for her shittiness, past and present, while still loving Harry Potter.

So don’t say Harry Potter was written by Hatsune Miku. It wasn’t. It was written by J. K. Rowling, warts and all.

[wopersonal]

If you’re in a relationship, and you are afraid to tell your friends about something that your partner did to you because you are afraid they will think badly of your partner, that’s a red flag.