willowbird

[willowbird]

Anne Hathaway for V Magazine | Photos by Chris Colls

[willowbird]

this is the hardest any single image has ever gone

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Had a 'fun' new experience today in the form of my first ever mammogram because I found a lump on my chest a few weeks ago, and when you find a lump, you get that shit checked out.

Ironically, the lump I went to get investigated turned out to be nothing, likely just a cyst that made its way to the surface, but they did find something else on the scan that requires me to do a follow-up ultrasound in six months. The doctor stressed that it is most likely a fibroid, but given my family history of breast cancer and general weird health fuckery, they're being vigilant and keeping an eye on it.

The mammogram itself was fine. The technician doing it kept complimenting me on the "pliable" nature of my breast tissue and how easy it was to smoosh me into the machine. I was like thanks, I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome; my body is basically made of only slightly more reinforced laffy taffy.

She said, "That explains that," and then proceeded to smush my tits into a pancake. Apparently, they were the most compliant tits she's worked with. I said thank you because what else can you do in that situation. And then she asked me if I wanted to know how much they weighed, and I said boy, do I?!

So she started reading off the results and was like, "17.7 lbs," and I was like, gosh, no wonder they feel so heavy, and then she kept talking and said, "And the other one weighs..."

And that's when I realized she didn't mean total.

She meant one boob was 17.7lbs.

So in case you've ever wanted to know, my right boob weighs 17.7 lbs, and my left one weighs 17.3 lbs, bringing the grand weight hanging off my chest to an even 35 lbs.

The tech was like "gosh! That's a lot for someone of your size!" and I was like "ya fucking think?!"

For a frame of reference, I weigh 136 lbs total. One-quarter of my weight is tits.

I am one-quarter titty.

And I'm telling that to the next doctor who suggests I lose weight.

Anyway. Remember to do regular breast exams, and don't be afraid of mammograms. Yes, they're checking for cancer, but they also tell you fun things like how much your chest weighs and whether or not your boobs are compliant.

#my dads side of the family is like this and all three of my afab cousins on that side were plagued #thankfully they were all also fortunate enough to be able to get reductions #tsoula got hers thru university insurance when she did some kind of advanced degree in the uk

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What if you thought he was a normal guy but then he had a dog head

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ojou-sama that married into a commoner family but kept her pride

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Deer and jackdaws.

The birds feed on ticks from the deer, and also assist in removing velvet from growing antlers.

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Moody fishnets!

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never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[willowbird]

The King's Men - Chapter Seventeen (19)

Day: Friday, April 26th / 27th* Time: 3:34 AM EST

"You did it," Neil says, too stunned to manage anything else. "Let Riko be King," Kevin says, with the exaggerated enunciation of the thoroughly sloshed. "Most coveted, most protected. He'll sacrifice every piece he has to protect his throne. Whatever. Me?" Kevin gestures again, meaning to indicate himself but too drunk to get his hand higher than his waist. "I'm going to be the deadliest piece on the board." "Queen," Andrew says somewhere behind Neil. Neil hadn't heard him get out of bed, but of course the bang of the door would have woken him. A sober Andrew is as light a sleeper as Neil was, maybe moreso because Andrew was used to unfriendly people sneaking into his room. Neil looks back at him, but Andrew is studying Kevin.

Art used with permission by Emry-Stars-Art. Thank you @emry-stars-art!

*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.

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Kevin with Jean vs Kevin with literally any Fox

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people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

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tsc sketches, I missed these books ahhh

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distracted on patrol

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me trying to degrade my gf:

“you dummy dum dum…dumdumface?”

#lol i feel this so hard #fumbling thru kink is really wholesome when you think about it #because of the inherent open understanding required to BE that vulnerable in the first place #to let yourself take joy outside of what conventionality decrees

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why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

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can we be platonic valentines??? we can snag some of the discounted chocolate and i have a ton of new books from the library we can read together if you want!

i would love nothing more than to be platonic valentines with you.

that post-holiday discount chocolate paired with a good book sounds golden. we ought to set up a time to do that… would you also care for some coffee at a café? it’s on me.

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neil josten the man that you are