wickedloving - Tumblr blog

wickedloving · 2 years

Text

Dumb Dumb (M)

Preview: Life had been moving smoothly. Managing to watch from afar as random people dealt with complications at your menacing hands. Disturbing their peace only to calm your crave for destruction.

That was until the day you met Johnny.

Johnny Suh. The first book cover you wished to not have judged so quickly. He would turn out to be your hardest lesson yet.

Pairing: single dad Johnny x female reader

Word Count: 15k+

Genre: dilf AU with a twist, daddy issues, pwp, aged up Johnny(35), reader is younger/legal, M/F, mild angst-happy ending, this gets very filthy

Smut Warning: dom/sub relationship(no negotiation), nicknames, daddy kink, size kink, strength kink, spanking, mild degradation, handcuffs, sex toy use, rough oral, fingering, biting, a lot of drool, rimming, anal, subspace, breeding, cock warming, aftercare, 💘johnny💘

Daddy ASF collaboration | masterlist

a/n: plot partially inspired by Ghost World, but this is really nothing similar to that story.

Whether it be pure boredom or depression, you had no excuse for your shit behavior. Ultimately being a ‘good’ person was opinion based. That’s what you repeated to yourself whenever your moral conscience kicked in. Shoving aside whatever common sense you should have by now.

You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover either. You also shouldn’t base opinions off of anyone’s appearance. You should have some depth, a shallow inside will gain you nothing.

Not that you cared.

Advice heard from various lips throughout your life. Strangers, friends, family. Who cares what they think anyway.

Your mother was one of the first to call you an ‘ungrateful brat’ after you’d lovingly referred to her new boyfriend as a ‘fucking monster’. As much as it stung at first, words only made you grow hard with time. More difficult to deal with, losing the last bits of emotional depth you’d carried from naive childhood.

Life had become an empty journey. Waking up only to continue an act of survival. Amusing yourself with petty childish tricks and games. It had been a fine coping mechanism. Enough to get by, using new ways to pick on others to distract from any negative thoughts.

Life had been moving smoothly for the most part otherwise. Managing to watch from afar as random people dealt with complications at your menacing hands. Disturbing their peace only to calm your crave for destruction.

That was until the day you met Johnny.

Johnny Suh. A man who made you wish you had listened up whenever being scolded. He would turn out to be your hardest lesson yet.

Desperately seeking a connection: I can’t believe I am doing this right now but..yesterday I ran into you at the grocery store. I was the tall bookish fella wearing a knitted brown cardigan.

You were the beautiful striking brunette searching through a recipe on your phone. We bumped into each other and your jaw dropped in awe of my height. I could be all wrong but I felt something? Perhaps it was just me, but I would love to take you out sometime and get to know each other. Maybe we could cook up a new recipe together. If you happen to see this my phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx

-Johnny, your aisle prince able to reach for ingredients on the top shelf.

“Aisle prince? More like a pathetic loser.” You laugh to your friend. Folding the newspaper in half after reciting the personal ads of the day. “A brown knit cardigan? The only connection she was probably feeling was static.”

“He sounds like a real winner.” Your friend rolls her eyes. Her fingers tap along the moist glass containing a half melted milkshake. Having forced her to try out a new diner in your small town. Grand openings are rare in a place full of mom and pop shops. She was annoyed enough as is, mentioning something about job applications.

“What if I…” you smile mischievously, swiping open your phone. Newspaper rustling in your other hand as you shake it open to find the ad again. Beginning to type the phone number this Johnny had added in all too excited. Phone snatched from your hold before you can finish.

“What are you doing?!” She gasps, locking the device. Her brows scrunching together half annoyed, half in disbelief.

“Calling this dude up.” You scoff as if it’s so obvious. Adding more feminine pitch to your voice. “Get this losers hopes up that his long lost soulmate somehow stumbled upon this pathetic ad. It’s me, your grocery aisle princess, come to claim my throne.”

“Why?” She rolls her eyes letting you steal your phone back with no fight.

“Can’t you tell?” You fake shock, deadpanning within a second. “I’m bored.”

“Great, that’s just great.” She scoffs. Snapping fingers at a waiter with a curly haired mullet. “Check! Please!”

“Shhh!” You shove her hand down, waving the waiter off. “It’s ringing!”

“Hang up!” She hisses. Swatting her grubby hands away, you take a deep breath preparing to pounce.

“Hello?” A gentle deep voice halts your tiff. Choking on a wad of saliva as you shoot up straight. Raising your index finger to shush your friend, you breathe out softly.

“Hello? My grocery aisle prince? Is that you my darling?” You respond with a honey laced tone. Wanting the man on the other end to picture a dainty brunette, twirling hair around a finger like some brainless bimbo.

“I— excuse me? Oh!” He sounds gleeful, full of life. Exuberant in comparison to the soft way he answered. “Oh gosh. My striking brunette?”

His laugh resounds throughout your phone's speaker. It’s silly, damn near pathetic. Pacing yourself to match his excitement, you compliment him for the ad.

“It must be fate, my prince charming finally found me.” You let out a dreamy sigh. Pinching your friend after she slaps at your arm, mouthing to ‘hang up’. “Gosh! I’d love to meet with you today. Are you perhaps free right now? Maybe we could catch a meal together. There’s a new diner just opened downtown, I'm dying to try!”

“I just received a flyer for that spot the other day. Hmm.” Rustling follows, he falls silent for a minute. “My daughters on a playdate for the evening. It must be fate, my schedule is even clear tonight. I’d too love to spend some time getting to know each other, maybe over a cup of coffee?”

“That sounds lovely Johnny. Meet you there in an hour?” You beam, rolling your eyes. He agrees, ending the call with a ‘can’t wait to see you’.

It takes no more than an hour for the bells above the entrance to chime. Having to double take when a man ducks his way inside.

“Oh my God, that must be him.” You whisper. Slinking lower into the booth as you peer at a tall man step inside with hesitation.

A brown cardigan hung lamely on his broad shoulders. Faded and tattered from years of wear. His hair is straight, stopping just mid-neck. He’s stood there awkwardly for a bit, glancing around the diner. Pushing at the center of the glasses perched low on the bridge of his nose.

He’s squinting for about a minute, pretending to focus on the menu between flittering his gaze around for a familiar face. Peeping at his watch, he walks to the counter.

“He looks..” you trail off. Strands of hair fall around his face as he reads over the menu up close. His mouth tweaks side to side hollowing out the skin under his cheekbones. Further jutted out pronouncing how angular his face is. He’s not what you would expect from the personal ad at all.

“He looks like any random desperate single dad.” Your friend continues for you. Her lips purse, nose scrunching as if she’s annoyed. Annoyed that you dragged her into another one of these immature ventures. “He could be your dad.”

“That’s not funny.” You hiss. Scooting near the edge of the booth to take in the rest of his appearance. Faded ill-fitting corduroy slacks, visible brown socks to match his cardigan…patterned with some orange and creme design, loafers scuffed up at the toe. This guys helpless..

“Stare any harder and he’ll get suspicious you know.” Your friend grips you elbow, hauling you closer to her side of the booth. Opening up a compact mirror to get a good sneaking visual on your target. “He’s ordering.”

“A vanilla milkshake..” you snort. The waiter sets down a foamy caloric sugary concoction before him. Johnny stirring the cream on top with the end of a straw. He looks around again, hunching down to lick it off. “Who in their right mind orders a vanilla milkshake?”

“This is so cruel.” Your friend pipes up after 40 minutes have gone by. Johnny never sips at his drink. He more so plays with it, scooping small bits to lick off the straw until it's melted too much.

“How long do you think he’ll sit there?” You ponder out loud. Grateful you’d remembered to block your number as he picks up his phone, more disappointed each time.

“Don’t know but I can’t hang around to find out.” Your friend moves to stand. Shoving the newspaper at your chest. “Promise me you’ll at least look at the job listings? We need to put down a deposit on a place before summer ends.”

“Yeah yeah.” You sigh tired of this subject, waving goodbye. Job this, job that. All this whining just to move 5 miles away, because ‘we’re adults now, you can’t seriously expect any privacy living with your mom still.’ Whatever.

You ask for another refill on your lemonade, the waiters brow growing heavy. Looking at you and then the giant clock hung on the wall. Your brow lifts his direction, sipping at your drink with a daring look. As if he’d say anything.

Johnny finally gives up by hour three. One long sip through his straw to finish off what his milkshake has become.

Standing up with a stretch, cracking his neck side to side. A wound tight fist clenched by his hip bounces off a pocket that jingles. Probably carrying car keys, change or something.

With your face ducked hiding half behind a row of empty glasses, you watch him walk out. Defeated in many ways. As if he just sat berating himself for the past few hours.

Broken people always intrigued you. Wondering to yourself how dedicated he could be to this facade. What made him tick, what hurt him the most. How he held out even longer than an hour, his pride had to be nonexistent.

You make your exit, glaring at the waiter who clearly just wanted this shift to end. Newspaper snuggly fitted under your arm.

—————————————————-

Johnny sitting alone at the diner counter weighed on your mind heavily the next day. Waking up, stirring honey in your tea as flashes of brown yarny fabric itched at the backs of your eyes.

It’s not that you felt bad, no not that..

Even after a long hot shower, spending extra time rinsing your skin until it feels tender and raw, the image of him sucking down the last bits of milkshake tapped at your skull.

Perhaps it was guilt more than anything? To witness the hope drain from his cheeks. Optimism crushed the longer he sat there. Neck craning toward the opening entrance less and less.

The clear grit of his teeth as he pushed away from the counter. Furiously filled out the receipt for the one vanilla milkshake he nursed over the span of three hours.

Cheeks twitched at the corners of his mouth, concealing a sigh. A painting of melancholy, yearning for more. The memory burrowed between your breasts, pestering you to rectify the situation you’d created.

Mumbling to yourself ‘I don’t care’, you reach for the paper. Curious to read his message again. Repeat the words over and over. Design a personality for this Johnny guy.

With a lick at your index finger, you flip open the paper, distracted by the job ads your friend had circled through. No doubt she intended for you to see them

Babysitter needed:

Summertime babysitter needed for my 7 year old daughter. Must be available to work Monday-Friday from 8 am to 4 pm. Pay starting at $15 hourly but willing to negotiate.

Please reach me at xxx-xxx-xxxx if interested in applying -Johnny Suh

Johnny Suh? The phone number matches the one sitting in your recent call history. Man, this Johnny guy needs to meet the worldwide web.

Although, your friend was bitching about how you needed to look for a job if you planned to live with her next semester..

A dial tone blares from your phone before you realize, snapping you back to reality.

“Hello?”

It’s him. The same voice repeated in your mind for the past 24 hours, like a song you couldn’t find the will to skip. Each word engraving itself repeatedly. You’d recognize it by the sound of his breath alone.

Clearing your throat, you sit up pressing the phone to your ear. Remembering to not alter your voice in any way- “Hi! I..I saw your ad, for a babysitter! Johnny Suh?”

“Oh! Yes, that’s me. Hello! Perfect timing, I just began interviews today actually. I’m sort of in a crunch for time.”

“That’s great! I’d love to uhm, do that!” You smack your forehead too hard. Sounding over eager enough to feel queasy, maybe due to the mysterious voice passing through your phone line.

Johnny covered a few more questions, setting up a time for you to come by tomorrow along with his address. God, you’d be in his house…what the hell were you doing.

“Does that sound good?” He asks. Nodding your head until he hums, still waiting.

“No yea, that’s— that’s perfect.” You swallow dryly. Clenching your buttcheeks nervously. How stupid could you be? Very.

“Great! I will be seeing you then.” Johnny sounds pleasant. Wishing you a great day before hanging up.

Tomorrow..

Your eyes dart over the address scribbled on the notepad in front of you. Why wait for tomorrow? Would it be so wrong to go scope out where he lives ahead of time? Possibly catch a glimpse of him?

He’d be none the wiser..

—————————————————-

It’s not hard to spot Johnny once you’ve parked across the street from his house. Far enough to go unnoticed, just close enough to catch a glimpse of him stepping out in that same brown cardigan he’d worn to the diner. He’s not alone this time, slouching down on one side as he walks along the sidewalk to a small park nearby.

A little girl with two expertly braided pigtails skips next to him. Her small fingers intertwined around two of his, keeping up with the mans pace easily as she took two steps with each skip to avoid the cracks on the ground.

This close up everything about him screamed lonesome single dad as you watched him approach the park. His mouth moved instructing the child to stay within an area where he could see her. Taking a seat on an emptied bench nearby, he pulls out a book from his pocket. Ankle crossed over his thigh as he settles down.

Denial buzzed around your thoughts. Grasping at emptiness for a logical explanation as to why you sat here watching Johnny finishing off what looks like three chapters. Occasionally pausing to wave at his daughter and offer her water.

There was something to the way Johnny sat there hunched over. Removing his glasses and cleaning them off with his cardigan. Shaking his hair away whenever the light early summer breeze blew it to obscure his vision.

The longer you sat observing him, the more you imagined walking over to sit by his side. Silently enjoy his company as the sun goes down.

—————————————————-

The roots of Johnny’s medium toned brown hair show signs of greying. Shorter strands stand straight manipulated by static. Without his glasses on, the lines around the corners of his eyes are amplified. Creasing as he smiles at you from across. Folding his hands on the table, he speaks with a pacifying vocal tone. One you’d use to communicate with a child.

“So, why babysitting?” Johnny straightens up in the cushioned dining room seat. Beginning the interview in a minimalistic, yet expensive looking dining room. Your throat dried up from the moment he’d greeted you at the door and brought you inside to begin discussing the babysitting job.

“I love kids!” You lie a bit too enthusiastically, unfamiliar with how most children even behave. The last time you’d interacted with kids was middle school..when you were also a child. “and I need to save up some money before college starts back up. I’m moving out with a friend soon to live closer to campus. I think this could really be my calling..for now.”

Johnny snorts softly at your answer. Charmed by your honesty. Jotting down notes quietly, making your legs shake against each other nervously.

“I’m teaching summer classes. Typically my daughter, Aera, is in school while I work. I’m rushing around a bit right now to find her a sitter and most of the candidates haven’t had an open schedule. Everything seems to check out with you though.” He takes a look over the resume you spent last night typing up. Including the information of referrals he’d asked for.

Johnny nods scanning your accolades. “Would you be able to work Monday through Friday? Usually 8am until 4pm, but my days can turn hectic easily. You may need to stay longer hours.”

“I think that’s perfect actually!” You nod eagerly. Johnny standing up and asking you to come with him to the living room.

“Is this Aera?” You ask upon spotting the same little girl from the day prior. She couldn’t be any older than 7 years. Seated on the floor with her back against the couch paying the two of you no mind. Completely engulfed by the tv screen.

“That’s my little princess.” Johnny folds his arms. Teeth on full display with a large smile. The hollows of his cheeks wrinkling deeper with prideful emotion taking over.

Following the childs line of sight, you bounce up happily with surprise. “Oh wow, Sailor Moon? I had no idea kids still watched this. My favorite show of all time.”

“Oh really? Aera loves Sailor Moon, she had me scouring the internet for weeks in search of properly subbed DVDs.” Johnny says. Pointing at the organized stacked collection of each season.

“That’s it then!” You squat down to meet Johnny’s daughter's level. “Can you believe I have a big white ball of fur at home named Artemis?”

Aera gasps excitedly, finally distracted from the episode playing. Sitting up suddenly more interested in you than the show. “What, really? I want to see!”

Whipping your phone out, you quickly get comfortable next to her, opening up an album full of nothing but photos and videos of your cat. A white persian male kitten that indeed responds to the name Artemis in each video.

“Oooh you need to get a girl cat with black fur and name her Luna!” She squeals. Pouting a frown. “Dad won’t let me! I’m allergic.”

“Aw what? Well you’re right then. I do need to find his Luna.”

“Ah, Aera, where are your manners? Introduce yourself properly to our guest like I taught you.” Johnny reprimands sweetly. His daughter responds with a boxy smile and hushed apology. Turning back to face you with her hand outstretched in greeting.

The two of you exchange names briefly. Falling back into conversation swimmingly. Aera chatters on happily, asking if you’ve seen any of the Frozen movies yet. Picking up a freshly washed Olaf stuffy laying by her side that Johnny seemed to keep in tip-top shape for her.

“We have to watch them together!” She exclaims. “Elsa is the second prettiest of all the princesses.”

It goes on like this for the next hour or so. Aera informing you that her father spends hours on youtube watching hair braiding tutorials to make sure her french braid is exceptional- to the point that her fellow classmates envy her and ask for tips on how to improve theirs. She expects you to do the same in his absence, of course.

“I think Aera likes you.” Johnny hands over a contract he’s drawn up to work over the next 7 weeks as his daughter's babysitter. Without giving the pay much of a second thought, you sign without question. Ready to start as soon as he wishes.

“My summer school courses begin tomorrow.” Johnny lets you know. “This is really helping me more than you know. Aera’s grandmother lives over an hour away. I had already began packing an overnight bag to take her over lat—“

“I’ll be here at 8am sharp then.” You interrupt. Clasping your hands together after handing him back the contract.

“That’s wonderful, seriously I can’t thank you enough for doing this on such short notice.” He glows as he smiles down at you. Chin pointed ahead. “Follow me, I’ll walk you out.”

Johnny leads you to the front of the house. Going over how far you live, if you’d be needing any assistance getting home. Convincing him a 10 minute walk cut down when you take the bus to 5 minutes would be no hassle. You stop and face him before leaving.

“This is probably too personal, but you mentioned Aera’s grandmother?” You quietly ask. Stepping out onto the front porch. “Is her mother not around?”

Johnny sighs, rubbing his palms together. Anxiously tipping back on his heels. “We divorced after Aera was born. Her mother suffered from heavy postpartum depression. She didn’t find herself fit to raise a child.”

“Oh my God Mr. Suh, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” You apologize profusely. Johnny fast to reassure you with his hands held up to let him continue.

“It’s okay, because I couldn’t love Aera more. She’s my entire world. My little princess. I’m willing to sacrifice anything for her.” His eyes sparkle, comforting you as he speaks with pure love. Remembering just yesterday how he spent hours at the park with his daughter. Too exhausted yourself to wait for them to leave. Johnny didn’t even seem affected by the long evening.

“That’s really amazing.” You chime in, flitting a look past him inside the house where Aera sits enjoying her time. Living the life of a happy child all thanks to her father. “My dad was never in the picture, personally.” You share in return. Feeling the need to even out the personal information.

Johnny seems surprised by your admission. Apologizing under his breath.

“It’s nice to see a single dad taking care of his daughter like this.” You continue. Acknowledging Johnny with a finger in his direction. “I can tell you’re a good father.”

“Ah..I try to do my best.” he blushes, rubbing at his nape shyly. Waving you off as he reaches for the door handle. “See you tomorrow then?”

“Yup. First day!”

Johnny smiles widely again. Mid-day sun enhances his soft brown eyes. Sparkling vibrantly as he says goodbye and tells you to get home safe.

Resting butterfly wings come to life on your walk home. Crashing against your ribcage with visions of rosy cheeks and pools of honey passing through your mind.

—————————————————-

“I hope I’m just like Princess Serena when I grow up.” Aera twirls around. Following along with the same movements Sailor Moon displays on the tv. Her dress lifts magically, assisted by the powerful blow of air conditioning. Johnny blasting the A/C as you ran up to the house just in time with beads of sweat on your forehead.

“Of course you will be!” You perk up. Crawling around on your knees to gather all of her toys from the living room floor. “Princess Aera is destined to be even more beautiful, at least that's what my kitten Artemis told me last night.”

Aera lets out a cute gasp of shock, clasping her hands together as she continues to dance around lost in her daydream.

Johnny’s watching you two from the dining room with the most endearing smile. Having gotten out of classes earlier today, just in time to find his daughter coloring your eyelids with cheap non-toxic glitter glue. He huffs a light chuckle as you approach lugging a bag of Barbie dolls. Pointing to his head with a nod at yours.

“Princess play today?” He asks.

“Huh?” You scramble reaching for the plastic tiara tangled in your messy hair after hours of hanging out with Aera. Today had indeed been ‘the two princesses from other realms meeting for the first time only to discover they’re sisters’. She has quite the large imagination you’d learned within the first few hours alone.

“One of my Aera’s favorites. I’ve let her watch too many Barbie films. Now picture me prancing around with one arm in one of those plastic frilly pink dresses. I’m not allowed to play the prince, obviously. The prince must be handsome, is what Aera says.” Johny laughs. Gently sweeping the fallen strands away from your face once you finally manage to detangle the tiara trapped in the largest knot.

“But you are very handsome!” You blurt out. Mortification fills your chest, turning to look away only to nestle into Johnny’s palm. It’s soft and calloused, warm yet rough. Maintained with lotion to avoid cracking skin, but beat up from years of labor around the house. It feels like.. Johnny. What Johnny would feel like based on his looks. “I.. sorry.”

His thumb grazes your cheekbone before you make an attempt to move. “I suppose I’m not handsome enough to be a prince.”

“I..I don’t think so..” your throat quivers. Eyes snapping to look over Johnny’s relaxed face. Realizing you’ve been caressing his palm for far too long now. His thumb continues to stroke your cheekbone. Other hand reaching toward the plastic crown still caught up in a couple of tendrils.

Touch drifting away from your heated up skin to focus on detangling the rest of your hair without pulling. He hums, brushing the tips of his fingers through your strands to ebb away frizz. Clearly practiced as he barely tugs on your scalp.

“You’re both right. I am no fairytale prince.” Johnny nods. The corners of his eyelids drooped down a hint.

“Huh? No, that’s not what I meant, Mr. Suh! I mean, like you are handsome. You’re very attractive!” You splutter. Forcing your teeth to grit together and form a smile despite embarrassment draining down to your fingertips.

He grins, playing with loose strands of hair near your ear. Brushing them back to reveal more of your face.

“Thank You…princess.” Johnny blinks slowly, dropping his hand away as if you’ve just burned him. Taking a step back away from you. He picks up a book from the dining table, using it to point toward his home office. Clearing his throat, he moves to leave. “I’ll be reading for a bit while you’re still here.”

“Oh? What are you reading?” You ask curiously to deter from the awkward moment. Peaking at the hardcover in his hand as you chew your lower lip to suppress any wild reaction to the nickname.

“The Rules Of Attraction.” He taps the book. “I decided to take it upon myself to do a summer reading list with my class. While they’re stuck reading George Orwell and To Kill A Mockingbird again, I’m taking the Bret Easton Ellis route.”

“Oh!” Your fingers snap at the mention of the author. “Less Than Zero!”

Johnny seems taken aback. Cradling the novel to his chest to converse with you more comfortably. “You’ve read it?”

“One of my favorites.” You boast proudly. “His first published work I believe?”

“Now, I have to ask, why is that one of your favorites?”

“I guess the alienation from everything around him. The overall distraught, downward spiral, isolation..” you try to recall. Shrugging, nodding to the book he holds “Let me know how you like that one. I was planning on starting American Psycho next.”

Johnny smiles apprehensively, an intrigued gleam in his gaze as he watches you. “I bet your English teachers loved you.”

—————————————————-

It had become quite tiresome to even attempt flirting with Johnny. He knew how to shoot you down in the most asinine way. Too dumb to even realize what he was doing. You couldn’t feel offended by his lack of pursuit. Afterall, he never failed to remind you of your age difference. Treating you more like a second child than a potential love interest.

Grumbling to yourself, you clean up the mess you made with Aera today. Johnny prepares dinner for the two of them in the kitchen before you leave for the evening. The phone rings, pausing both of your ministrations.

“I’ll grab it!” You shout, popping up to scramble toward the houseline. Johnny jogs from the kitchen with a ‘got it!’. The two of you crash together before either of you reach the phone. Beeping as it goes to voicemail. Johnny’s arm loops around your waist to control the collision. The both of you watching the machine as a woman’s voice permeates.

‘I suppose I have called at a bad time. I happened to find an ad in the paper today. Maybe it was destiny.. my grocery aisle prince was looking for me afterall it se—‘

Johnny nearly topples you over as he reaches to shut off the device. Anger overtaking his features, scrambling to hit the delete button.

“What are you doing! Stop!” You panic. Wrapping around his large forearm with both of your hands in an attempt to make him move. Johnny hits to erase the message as you fail to even make him budge.

Lifting a brow, he eyes over the position you’ve landed in. Clinging onto him like a monkey hung on a tree branch.

“What’s going on?” He asks. Directed at the implication behind your actions.

“Why..” you stutter, licking at the roof of your mouth dryly. “Why did you delete that?!”

Johnny waves it off, removing you off his arm. He dusts off his shirt that wrinkled in the process. “It’s just some stupid kid looking for a laugh. Don’t worry about it.”

“But!” You stammer. Pointing at the machine. “Don’t you have caller ID?! You need to call her back! She sounded interested in.. I don’t know! A date?”

Johnny watches you try to come up with an explanation. Hands on his hips and brows twisted together confused.

“Trust me, it’s nothing serious.” He brushes it off again. “Some silly kids trying to get a rise out of an old man like me is all.”

Your shoulders fall, lost for words to come up with. Built up guilt clawing at your insides. Reminded of how you have only added to shattering Johnny’s confidence. May as well be carrying a hammer for him to know what type of awful person you are.

“You think I need to date that badly huh?” Johnny speaks up, breaking your inner turmoil eating away at you. He shrugs, a lackluster expression taking over his handsome face. “I can’t relate to 99% of humanity, honestly. Dating is hopeless for me.”

“I can’t relate to humanity much either..” you agree. Discouraged as you try to make him feel better. “But, I don’t think it’s completely hopeless?”

Johnny forces a smile, for your sake only. Patting your arm before returning to the kitchen.

“That makes one of us.”

—————————————————-

Johnny’s rushing home again. Meetings after class had ended up extending his stay to much later in the evening than usual. He texts you numerous apologies adding in that you deserve a bonus for putting up with him.

If only he knew the type of bonus you were determined to get.

“Thank you for staying late. I’m sorry about that, I didn’t realize this meeting would run so long.” Johnny says breathlessly. The front door slamming shut behind him as he rips off his coat. Handsome as ever wearing a tucked in collared button down. Tie hanging loose on his neck with the first few buttons undone while sitting in traffic. His spine cracking loudly with a stretch and slump.

“Oh, no worries. It happens.”

“You’re not walking home, right?” He asks, concerned. Giving the window a double take for you to see how dark it is.

“I just walk a couple of blocks to the station. My cars in the shop, a busted headlight.” You shrug. Gathering your belongings. Johnny’s tongue clicks soundly, his keys jingling.

“I can’t let you walk home this late, it’s way too dark outside. I won’t be able to rest peacefully.” Johnny retorts.

“Oh no worries Mr. Suh” you ward him off with a wave of your hand. “I walk home late all the time. This isn’t exactly an area known for high crime rate.”

“Nonsense. It’s not safe for a beautiful young girl to walk alone at night.” Johnny lifts his arms shooing you toward the front door to exit. “I won’t take no for an answer. You texted me that Aera’s all tuckered out and sleeping. I won’t be long, you live pretty close right?”

Coming to a halt near the door you cock a brow his way. Tuning out any words after the subtle compliment passed from his lips. Adjusting the strap of your bag nervously, you turn to face him- “..beautiful?”

Johnny stiffens a bit, now bypassing your question as he pulls on his coat again.

“Of course.” He forces a tight lipped smile. Shaking his keys out of habit with another nod toward the front door.

You follow after him, shuffling faster to catch up to his long stride. Johnny able to move faster on such long legs. He reaches to open the passenger door for you, stopped by the brush of your fingers along his wrist.

“You think..do you really think I’m beautiful?” You ask him with more confidence. Time is fleeting as days spent taking care of Aera lack Johnny’s presence. Leaving you craving for more time with him, coming up with excuses to clean or help him cook up dinner when he’s too tired after work. Confidence could quickly turn to desperation, with Johnny’s summer semester ending soon. What use would he have for you then?

With his lips pursed together, he opens the car door despite your figure blocking the way. Unlocking it, left only a crack open.

“Look at you.” Johnny trails off. Gaze darting over your face lit up by dim street lamps. Shadows of tree branches and leaves passing with the wind. His chest pounds, having to take deep breaths to cool the tingle traveling down to his guts. “You know you’re stunning. I’m sure your boyfriend reminds you every time he sees you.”

“I don’t..” you grimace, confessing something your best friend pestered you about enough. “I’ve never really had a boyfriend.”

“What?” He takes a step back. One foot on the sidewalk curb as the other sets down on the street near his car's tire. His face dawned an actual look of surprise. “Never?”

“I’m not..” you start, anxiously shifting foot to foot. “I’m not inexperienced. I just haven’t found someone who.. I feel a connection to… At least I hadn’t.”

Johnny averts his eyes, adamant to avoid addressing your last sentence. “It takes time. Don’t worry about it. You will find someone who..” he huffs, thinking over his advice. “There is someone out there for all of us. Figure out what you really want first. It all starts with you.. maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for yet?”

“I guess.. I want someone who sees my demons and plays with them instead of running away in fear.” You mutter, mostly under your breath. Blinking away the rush of moisture gathering at your lashes. “I’m tired of feeling like I’m stuck in some never ending horror movie with no hope to escape.”

“No one’s perfect.” Johnny speaks softly. His voice sounds fresh out of the dryer like a fuzzy blanket draped over your shoulders. Wrapping you with comfort, advice only one who has been through more than enough can provide. “You have to let people in. Maybe you’re the one running.”

Tilting your chin up, you take in Johnny’s creased skin. Lifting your thumb to smooth away the lines etched deeper than usual beneath the pools of honey permanently ingrained in your dreams these days. Evidence of how tired he is after hours spent with teenagers. He moves barely, just enough to let you know he likes it. Lazed eyelids falling shut for longer than a second to enjoy the full experience of your tracing thumb.

“Would you?“ You question wearily. Drawing a path down the bridge of his nose to the space just above the jut of his curved out upper lip.

Johnny swallows, long neck doing nothing to hide the bounce of his Adams apple. Flicking his gaze to lock on yours, he circles your wrist. Pausing you just as you’re about to stroke the ridge of his lip. “You shouldn’t do this. Not with me.”

“and why not?” You do your best to restrict the petulant whine wishing to escape. Jerking your gaze away from his mouth to scowl at him.

“You’re just so young..” Johnny hesitates. Having to bite down on the back sides of his tongue. He sets your arms down, letting out a tired sigh. “and I’m..an old man with a kid. You can do better than me.”

“I’m not! And I’m old enough to know what I want! I’m an adult!” You boldly state. Ripping free of his loose hold. “Johnny..I—“

“Mr. Suh.” Johnny is quick to correct you. Fitting you with a pointed stare, hard enough to weaken you on the spot. He shakes his head with a hard swallow. “Listen, it’s late. It’s been a long day for both of us I’m sure. Get in the car okay? Your mother is probably worried.”

Making the quick decision to not put up a fight you get in the car. The short ride home is stiff, silent. Distracted by picking at your nails to ignore the sense of crushing weight on your shoulders. Johnny seems no better, opening and shutting his mouth as if he has no clue what to say from here.

He parks nearby your apartment complex letting you direct him. Old car engine rumbling through the humid summer night air. Releasing your seatbelt, you angle your torso to face him.

“I’m sorry.” You grieve. Throat lodged tight with nerves as you go on. “I’m just so sick of everything and everyone lately. Most days, it feels like you’re the only person I look forward to seeing anymore.”

Johnny’s long fingers drum against the steering wheel. Gripping it before he turns to look at you. His drowsy features even more drained after the quiet awkward drive.

“This will pass. You’ve been around me more than you have been around guys your age these days. Once you start school again, you’ll see.” He explains. A glint of pain passing his pupils as they shake.

“Why can’t I just do what I want?” You ask him, defeated. Maybe Johnny had a point.

He seemingly struggles momentarily. Licking his lips as they part open once again, stopping himself from saying more. With a slump of his shoulders and his forehead wrinkling down the middle he answers you with another question- “What do you want?”

Leaning forward, you grab onto the divider between your seats. Cocking your head to the side almost submissively. Johnny’s breath audibly catching at the action. Watery eyes watching the nervous twitch his nose gives. “Don’t you like me?”

Johnny doesn’t make any moves to reply. Lost in a trance as he stares at you. Focused on the way your lips pout as you ask him something he can’t find in himself to answer.

The small voice willing you to do better in your mind kicks and screams. Breaking free of the binds keeping you in place shouting out ‘fuck it!’. You surge forward with a jolt of renewed motivation. Lips landing firmly on Johnny’s plump ones. Softer than a cloud, more of a dream than you’d even imagined.

His resistance melts faster than burning candle wax. Easing into the pillowy texture of your inviting mouth. He kisses like a man starved, deprived of this intimate touch for far too long. Front teeth clicking against yours at first as he practices to find a comfortable placement. The tip of his nose squished into the crevice of yours moving to deepen the kiss.

Sharing short breaths of air, you both attack each other's lips. Johnny effortlessly takes over control, maneuvering you to the way his neck leans in. Adjusting yours to arch back as you gasp, suffocating under his powerful lips. His bottom lip slips between yours. Too easy to nibble at the plump smooth flesh. A groan emitting from deep in his throat when you bite down.

He pulls away abruptly. Mouth reddened and swollen already from your passionate kissing. Lower lip hanging numbly as he catches his breath with a dazed wide-eyed look.

Focused on your hormones raging, you inch closer for more- “Johnn—“

“No!” He blows out fearfully. Interrupting you and dodging your touch with a swift turn of his upper half. Fast to grip onto the steering wheel again, his hands tremble. “Please. Please get out of the car.”

“It’s okay, Johnn—“

“Please.” His tone softens. Eyelashes fanning his cheeks staring down at his lap. Shame washing across him the more you make him ask.

As much as it hurts to open the car door and exit. You respect his wishes with a silent goodbye. Anticipating a call the next day that your services would no longer be needed.

It made no sense to you why Johnny refused to let you in. ‘Look at you.’ He said with such conviction, probably only to stop your delusions from creating fantasies that Johnny Suh could possibly find anything special about you.

—————————————————-

The call never came, not even a text message. Johnny continued to let you babysit. Aera none the wiser that you lusted after her father. He managed to avoid you over the next few weeks. Probably buying time until your contract ends with no plan to extend you for extra help.

While Aera napped you cleaned up around the dining room table. Collecting the mess of markers and colored pencils scattered everywhere after four hours of trying to replicate the Negaverse off stills from google image search.

With only 5 days left before Johnny’s last days of summer school you felt like a zombie. Neglecting your friends' messages and pestering phone calls. Turning your ringer off and swiping away any notifications. It’s not as if any of them would be from Johnny.

He wouldn’t be home for another hour. The only time you did happen to catch a glance of him as he spared you no more than a nod on your way out. Not even greeting you to open any potential conversation.

Other than watching over Aera, you only saved energy to recall details about this summer. From the first time you had seen Johnny at the diner, to watching him with his daughter at the park. All of it collected in your binder behind the personal ad and babysitting ad you had cut out to save along with your memories.

Even wandering throughout the upstairs as she napped somedays to end up inside of Johnny’s bedroom. As wrong as you knew it was, you couldn’t contain yourself. Snooping around through his drawers in hopes of finding something incriminating. He just seemed too perfect to be real. Even his dirty clothes hamper smelled amazing, because yes, of course you picked up his shirt from the day before to sniff while rolling around in his bed. The blankets and pillows crisp as if a hotel maid had come in and fixed up his entire bedroom every morning.

Nothing about this man signaled red flags. Even as you sat on your knees picking at a locked door in his bedroom with a bobby pin. It had to be an extra closet or something. Maybe a depraved sex dungeon to protect his wholesome image. Ever curious, you had to find out what was in there.

With a curse after your fifth failed attempt you leave the door alone. Escaping with a small rug burn on your cheek from trying to get a peek inside through the crack between the floor and door. It was no use, whatever that room led to was clearly none of your business.

That didn’t alter how perfect Johnny came off. Waking up at the crack of dawn while Aera visited lala land to get in an early workout. He was always scented of soap, fully dressed and nursing the last sips of morning coffee when you arrived to babysit. Beaming with white teeth and his hair slicked back, he levitated past you each morning like a vision straight out of a dream.

Johnny would be hard to move on from. It didn’t help that he only made it easier by doing everything to avoid further interactions with you. The message was loud and clear. That’s why they call it a crush, right? because it hurts like a bitch.

—————————————————-

Mr. Suh- ‘Aera’s friend is having a slumber party tonight for her Birthday and water park adventure tomorrow. I’ve left a key under the front doormat. I won’t be home until late due to final gradings. If you could please lock up on your way out and return the key where I’ve left it, much appreciated. Thank you.’

Johnny’s text message is straight to the point. No personalization behind it. Clear cut, if he wanted more, he’d do something about it.

Once Aera was all set in the backseat of her friend’s mother's van, you waved her goodbye from the sidewalk. Staring at the house you’d grown comfortable in over the last couple of months. It felt bittersweet as the imminent ending approached. Aera would go back to school soon, and Johnny’s schedule would return to normal without having to worry over who would watch his daughter while he worked.

With no rush to head home and return to your reality of a negligent mother harassing you to move out, you settle down on the couch. Flipping through the channels you didn’t have at home in search of something to watch for the next hour.

Johnny wouldn’t be home for some time. Figuring there was no point in not kicking off your shoes and relaxing for a bit. Finally spending your summer vacation doing what you should have been: absolutely nothing productive.

“Shit!” You shoot up from the couch. Scrambling to pick up wrappers of snacks you’d been munching on while catching up on Euphoria when you realized Johnny has an HBO subscription. The garage door shuts noisily, cursing under your breath as you trip over your discarded shoes. You shove the trash inside your purse. Sitting up and grabbing your belongings as fast as possible.

“Hello?” It’s Johnny. Of course. Who else would it be. Footsteps make way inside, stopping as they enter the main entrance near the dining room. Planning your escape, you glance toward the backyard, patting your bag as you tiptoe over. The realization that you never grabbed your phone and binder from the dining table impales you like a high speed truck.

“Fuck!” You mentally hiss. Left with no choice but to reveal yourself to the owner of the house

Johnny’s scowling as you enter the room. Holding open your binder to the page that has his newspaper ad glued. Circled with red sharpie from the day you first read it and decided to prank him. He looks up, landing on your surprised face with fury overtaking him.

“What is this?” He sounds rageful, holding up the page to you. “Why do you have this? How..why! Why would you have this!?”

“Johnny, I can explain!” You fret, speeding to get closer to him. The binder gets torn away from your fingertips as you reach for it. Johnny ripping through the pages you’ve written your private thoughts in over the past 7 weeks. Darting over words confessing your unyielding crush, the mean joke that led you to him. The photo you snuck from an album of him for keepsake.

“Are you..” Johnny’s bewildered. Eyes bulging from his sockets, glaring at you with a hint of scare. “Are you stalking me?”

“Johnny, no! It’s not that..”

“Stop calling me that!” He yells deeply. Voice booming out hard enough to make you cower into yourself. Timidly finding purchase in the wall behind you. “What is this! Huh?! What type of sick fucking joke are you playing here? You think I didn’t see you lurking around in my bedroom?!”

Your jaw drops, confused. Mortified when his words piece together. Johnny nods. “I have hidden cameras all over. You really think I’d so easily trust a stranger to watch my child in my house?”

“I can explain, Mr. Suh!” You cry, tears rushing out uncontrollably. Displaying your palms in an act of surrender. Johnny’s head drops back from the disbelief, rubbing his face harshly. “Please please! Let me explain please!”

“Right now. Start talking.”

Taking a big round of sniffles you inhale to fill your lungs. Pressed to the wall as tremors roll up your limbs intensely. Digging the edge of your palms under your eyes, you cover your face, croaking as you begin. “I called you from the personal ad. To meet at the diner. I shouldn’t have done that, and I regret it! I was bored.. and stupid! So stupid! I wasn’t thinking about how much it could hurt you. I’m sorry, Mr. Suh! I’m so sorry.”

“Why would you do this?! and then apply to babysit my daughter? What’s wrong with you!” Johnny’s livid as he shouts. Every vein bulges out of his neck. The ones tracing up the sides of his forehead pulsating rapidly. He throws your binder aside, crashing as it lands hard enough for the spine to break.

“Because I like you!” You cry harder, an ugly cry at this point. Arms flailing as you raise your voice to get in a word. “I like you so much!”

Overwhelmed by the amount of emotions consuming you, your knees buckle. Collapsing forward until your nose smashes between Johnny’s chest. He stiffens, sighing. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he reaches his other arm around your waist to hold you in place.

“You like me?” Johnny scoffs. Upper lip curling in to quill his temper. “You like me.. so you made a plan to hurt me? For no reason?”

“I’m sorry.” You wail. Ruining Johnny’s work shirt with your damp cheeks. Swallowing down wads of snot clogging your nose with a cough. “I’m so sorry. I was wrong, I’m an idiot. I really just wanted to know you. I like you so much Johnny..”

He lets out a drawn out sigh. His arm drops from your waist making you fall to your knees. Standing straight, he looms large above you. Neck long, glaring down at you with hooded eyelids. The tip of his tongue drags between his lips. An annoyed sound clicking inside his throat.

He pinches your chin between thumb and index finger, jerking your neck to arch back and look up at him. Nostrils flared in outrage, he nods. Turning your face side to side taking in your pathetic distraught appearance.

“You like me, so you stalk me? Is that it?”

“No!” You cough, doing your best to sit up. Clutching at his thighs for assistance. “I started to like you! Once I saw you with Aera. After I got to know you more.. you’re such a good father. You make me feel..” you mumble off, embarrassed. Unsure how much more humiliating this entire ordeal could get. “Valued. Self worth. You’re..comforting.”

Johnny doesn’t seem to react. His mouth is tight, continuing to watch the quiver of your lower lip. “Why would you have any interest in me? Except as an amusing cranky curiosity.”

“I think..” you trail off. Recalling everything Johnny’s taught you in a short amount of time. New music, recipes, books.. that you had more reason to take care of yourself than you’d thought. “you’re really cool. I guess, I wish.. I wish I’d had a father like you growing up. You’re so understanding and protective, but willing to learn.”

Johnny cups your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away the tears that won’t stop. Pitifully analyzing your bloodshot swollen eyes. He scoops under your arms lifting you to stand, still only reaching him at chest level.

“You just want someone to understand you, don’t you?” Johnny sounds calmed. Brushing hair behind your ear as he has many times before. Comforting enough to dip your face into his palm seeking after more of his gentle touch. “For someone to play with your demons, not run away for once.”

You stare up amazed, grabbing onto his chest for more help to keep yourself steady. Johnny bends his knees to meet you at a closer eye level. His voice lowering to a whisper- “You think you can handle my demons? Will you run away from them like the others before?”

Before you can shake your head ‘no’, Johnny’s lifting you off your feet and making way to the couch. He spins you fast, almost tipping over if not for his sturdy arms snaking around your waist. Back flush against his chest as he sits you down on his lap.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Johnny’s lips smear down your wet cheek. Licking up the tears that have tracked down past your collar, melting between your breasts. The dry tears staining your cheeks beneath fresh spills. His palms cup around your inner thighs spreading you open over his lap. Ass nestled right against his hardening groin. Gasping in his face as it nudges your bottom. Thick and heavy where it buries against your panty covered ass. “Just wanted someone to make you forget how fucked up you are.”

“N-no..” you stutter, turning to dig your nose into his cheek. Eyes falling shut blinking away another rush of hot tears. “You. Wanted you only. Wanted you to take everything away. To.. take care of me.”

“And what do you need me to take care of first?” Johnny queries. Angling his face to rub his nose along yours. One hand smoothing up to cup around your covered mound. His palm meeting moistened cotton, landing with a sound of wetness. A hot rush of embarrassment attempts to pry your legs shut. Johnny letting out a snarky sound of dismay, rolling tender skin at the top of your inner thigh between his thumb and index finger. Just enough to sting and threaten a harsher pinch with his short nails if you go against him.

“Joh—..” you hiss, trembling back into his chest. Pelvic pushing forward to meet the edge of his palm.

“Nuh-uh-uh.” He tuts. Burying his palm to your mound with more strength. His forearm flexes large, thick enough between your thighs to leave your mouth gaping in awe. “Answer me properly.”

Blinking up, you gaze at his glittering sleek eyes. A concentrated studying look staring down at you. Even seated Johnny’s neck craned high above yours. Engulfing your frame with his mass size to make you feel even smaller, helpless. Eager to give yourself over to him. Picturing Johnny lifting you up only to break you. Squeezing you down to a crumbled mess of dust between his long fingers. Make you forget pain that won’t disappear no matter how hard you try to erase it.

“Take care of me..all of me?” You whisper. Cheeks scorching as the question passes from your lips. Voice feeble and pathetic, clouded as it passes from one ear out of the other. Swallowing when Johnny leans in even closer. Licking up another batch of tears flowing freely.

“Will you be good for me, princess?” He lilts sweetly. Lips grazing yours as he uses the nickname. Capturing the gasped breath he knew you’d let out. “Will you be a good girl for daddy?”

His question slackens your jaw. The hinges deteriorate as your mouth hangs open. Johnny nudging your nose again with a ‘hmm?’

“Will you be the best girl for daddy?” He asks with more emphasis. Rubbing a firm circle over your panties. Clit trapped just underneath, swelling up needily.

“Yes..I’ll do anything.” You beg. Johnny clicking his tongue.

“Anything? Anything for who?”

Blinking your matted wet eyelashes, you swallow. Gulping loudly, vocal chords quivering- “Daddy. Anything for daddy.”

Johnny lets out a hushed satisfied sound. Ripping your drenched underwear to the side, you bite back a hiss. Skin cut by the elastic resisting his fierce pull. Sucking in his upper lip with concentration, he drags up and down your folds gathering the absurd amount of arousal. Loud squelch echoing when two fingers glide in past your entrance.

“Oh..you’re so tight.” He groans, dipping down to the first knuckle. Eyelashes fluttering against your cheek with an elated sigh. “How am I going to fit inside this little hole princess?”

His hips grind up beneath you. Cock swelling up as you roll down circling against him. Needy to feel him without layers separating you.

“Are you gonna fuck me?” You ask, hopeful. Sharing sloppy kisses between moans as Johnny’s digits scissor inside of you. Concerned you wouldn’t actually be able to fit his thick cock.

“Is that what you want?” He tuts, palming your clit for extra stimulation. Stretching your walls open with years of practice behind him.

“Please? Want you so much.” You keen. Flushing at how easily you’re willing to beg for it. At this point if Johnny asked you to get on your knees and pant like a dog, you would.

He nods against your nose, intent to make you cum before you move on to explore more. Rapidly speeding up the fingers spearing inside of you until you’re a trembling mess. The room filled by the sound of your wet cunt jerked around, splashing with each smack of his palm.

Arching against his chest, you huff noisily. A coil spiraling up from beneath your bellybutton to your chest until it spills over. Falling apart on Johnny’s hand, pulling out as you cum to watch the arousal dribble out of your clenching hole. Earning a slap over your mound as you soak through his trousers.

He sighs under you, having to stop himself from cumming in his pants to your cute whiny moans. Getting up, he pushes your underwear off to be forgotten in the living room.

“Come with me angel.” Johnny takes your hands gently. Stepping back until he notices your ankles wobbling.

“Daddy?” You question dumbly. Swooped off your feet for Johnny to carry you up the stairs. He kisses you in response, setting you down on your feet in the hallway with an arm secured around your hips.

Johnny tugs your garments off with ease. Left behind at the entrance of his bedroom as he proceeds to carry you further inside.

“You wanted to find out what was inside of here so badly didn’t you?” Johnny inquires cockily. Keeping a firm hold around your waist. He pushes in one of the keys he constantly seemed to have on hand jingling on him into the door's lock. Flicking on the lights upon entering with a kick to click the door shut behind you. The room fills with a low red light. Most still shadowed by black obscuring your sight further.

It’s another bedroom. Taking a quick confused glance, you spot a wall adorned with various whips and chains. Johnny’s lips press to your ear dragging you over to a bed placed in the middle. “Have you ever played with demons like this before?”

He sets you on the king size bed, knees sinking in as you stare up at him lost. Still reeling from your orgasm, you wobble having to hunch forward to grab onto the bedding. He stands tall and broad above you, keeping you placate with a fixated gaze. Untying the loop holding his tie together. He unbuttons his shirt with no urgency. Torturing you to watch him longer as saliva gathers around your tongue.

“Tell me what you want.” He commands, speaking to you with flattened demand. Overwhelmed by an urge to please him, you do your best to sit up on jittery knees grabbing his belt buckle.

“Can I, please? Pretty please?” You beg shamelessly. Looping his belt free like a gift you’re dying to unwrap.

“Didn’t you ask me— ‘why can’t I just do what I want?’” Johnny lilts. Nodding for you to continue. “When you ask nicely like that, how can I say no?”

Johnny appears blurred as you look up through your lashes. Blinking and turning away when his belt clatters to the floor. His large palm cups the back of your head, jerking your neck to face him.

“Don’t look away when I ask you a question.” He latches onto tufts of your hair, twisting your neck to bend back more. “Now, tell me what you want.”

“You..” gasping for air, your ears ring. The sound of your panting driving you mad. Chest heavy with desire to feel every dip and curve of Johnny’s figure.

“What was that now?”

He sounds cloudy, mixing with the heavy hard to swallow air clogging up the room. Suffocating you from inside out in a haze of lust. With another jerk of your head, his palm splays across the front of your neck, squeezing dangerously.

“Y-you..you daddy.” You choke, Johnny constricting your throat roughly making it more difficult to speak. “Want daddy’s cock. P-please.”

The hand cutting off your air flow loosens, fingers trailing to your shiny lower lip, tugging your mouth open hard. Tongue hanging out in reaction. Johnny shoves four fingers in abruptly, prompting you to gag around him. Thrusting back until he meets your tonsils. Drool dribbles out rapidly, coating his wrist.

“Where do you want daddy’s cock baby?” Johnny asks with a push on the back of your tongue. Coughing around his digits until your face heats up, pushing a new batch of tears to trickle down past your jaw. “Want it in your pretty little mouth? I don’t think you can handle it.”

Squirming your thighs together for some relief, you jolt up shaking your head. Gurgling around his long fingers filling your mouth. Clamping your lips around him with your best effort to suck, using your tongue as a form of pleading.

“Good girl.” Johnny hums. Slipping the spit covered digits free, he smears them around your face. The mascara you’ve half cried off fully destroyed as he sweeps across your eyelids. “I’ll give you what you want for being so obedient.”

Wiping the residue of your bodily fluids away on his slacks, Johnny straightens out. Long legs leading up to his hips right in front of your wrecked face. He nods down. “It’s all yours.”

Catching your breath, you suck down the drool permeating from the corners of your lips. Shaky hands reach for the button of his pants, mentally cursing over how unstable you feel. Biting down on your lip as Johnny’s black briefs come into view. This close he’s warm beneath your touch. Dick fully chubbed up stretching the material over him painfully.

Intimidated by his massive size, you reach inside timidly. The girth hot and wide in your hand, too thick for your fingers to even meet around. Johnny pushes his briefs lower, adjusting your head to watch. Cock and balls unveiled as he pulls down his boxers underneath.

“I-I..I..d-don’t know..” you stammer. Licking your dried lips nervously. Johnny’s size sits weighted in your palm, straining your wrist as you give him an experimental stroke. Precum globs out, coating the fat tip of his cock. Swiping a thumb across the slit to collect some for extra glide.

Johnny grunts with disappointment. “I told you that you wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

With a huff you scoot closer until your knees meet the edge of the mattress. Tongue lolling out like a thirsty pet willing to lap up anything your owner gives you. Johnny encourages you with a gentle pat to your crown. His stance widened to give you more room.

Giving him a tentative lick, Johnny directs you to suck in the tip. Cockhead pushing past your lips enough to crack the skin more. Hollowing your cheeks, your lips curl in to not bite down. Rewarded with a pleased groan and tightened grip on your hair.

“That’s it, pretty baby.” Johnny breathes through his nose sliding in deeper. Satisfied by how stretched your lips look around him, reaching just down past half of his length. Gagging furiously as he sinks in further, cock nestling in near complete minus a couple of inches.

“Be a good girl, take all of daddy’s cock baby.” Johnny grits. Adding praises for how good you’re taking him. Your hands seek purchase on his hips struggling to breathe. “Relax for me princess. You’re doing so so good.”

Yanking your head back for a better glide, he fucks in and out starting to build up a good enough rhythm. Burying in until your nose is pressed to the smooth skin around the base of his length. A rumbled moan sores out of Johnny’s chest. Wet and filthy as he thrust in until you’re whining around his size. Thighs rubbing together the more drool spills down to your chest. Ready to cry for him to fuck your hole harder than this.

Pulling out abruptly to catch himself from cumming too fast, Johnny prods his length against the hollow of your cheek. Copious amounts of saliva trailing after him, strings of it still attached to his glistening spit coated cock.

“You wanna swallow baby?” He asks you, gripping your hair tighter. Scalp stinging from the hold now.

Your tongue drops out in reply. Johnny mutters a string of curses. Grabbing his shaft to smear the precum still leaking from the tip on your upper lip. All swollen and glossy now, filthy just how he likes it.

Opening your jaw up wider until it hurts, you still gag as he presses into the base. Balls land against your chin hot and sticky with your spit. Johnny moving to cradle the back of your skull with both hands. He fucks in faster. All sound except you choking around his cock muted as his pace quickens nearing release.

“Fuck baby, exactly like that. Yes fuck, mouth made to take my cock.” Pushing your head down, Johnny keeps you held in place. Screaming between clenched teeth as the first spurt of cum hits the back of your throat.

He pulls out to the tip giving himself one tug, spilling partially on your tongue. The excess drips down your chin and neck. Groaning as his stomach sucks in pulling out the rest of his climax. Swallowing down the extra curse words trying to pass from his lips. He chooses to regain his composure with deep breaths.

Licking over your lips, you think he even tastes perfect. Good enough to beg for seconds. Beginning to daydream of spending hours with his cock lodged down your throat unable to move. Maybe Johnny would even pinch your nose until you couldn’t breathe, if you asked nicely.

“Did I do a good job daddy?” You cough, searching for a compliment. Johnny’s lip curls up in a half-smile.

“Better than good, you’re perfection. Are you ready for more?” He questions, thumbing the rest of his cum off your chin inside of your mouth for you to swallow. You nod, throat too sore to reply.

Taking a step back, he unbuttons the rest of his shirt. Falling off with his shoved away bottoms. Johnny’s big, all over. Your eyes jump around taking him in, gulping in disbelief. Under those layers of stiff work attire he’d hidden a body trained daily. Muscles etched to perfection even with time. Only bulking up more over the years. Biceps flexing with a simple movement of his fingers.

“Like what you see?” He smirks, content with the hungry gaze fixated on him. Leaning down, he cups your thighs dropping you to lay flat on your back. Draping your calves on the expanse of his broad defined shoulders. Johnny’s size lays on your stomach. Balls pressed to your cunt as he admires your abdomen twitching in excitement under him. Dick capping just just above your navel. Petting the skin over it, he grins. Prepared to fill your insides up until your cervix recognizes him by shape.

“You’re..big. So big..” you shudder. Reaching to drag the tips of your fingers between the lines of his abdominal muscles. Swiping over defined pecs, Johnny trembles at the contact to his nipples.

“Look how wet you still are, after everything.” He claps a palm on your inner thigh. Booming loud and wet. Dripped down to the backs of your knees while you sucked him off. Johnny seems impressed, licking your arousal off. “Your pussy still needs more of me, right baby?”

You nod too fast, neck cracking embarrassingly. Johnny’s grin never falters, knees bending as he pushes forward pressing the fronts of your thighs to your chest. Constricted under his mass size, folding you in half. His upper lip folds in, concentrated on his cock thrusting between your folds. Cursing under his breath at your wetness flowing down to his sack.

“Grab onto me.” Johnny grits out. His arms snake around your waist hauling you up with him as he stands. Sinking down on his length completely stuffed full. His hips circle letting you really feel his cock carving out a space inside of you.

“Fuck..” you whimper, obsessed with feeling up his contracting arm muscles. Shoulders too large to even grasp in your hands. Your head spins, Johnny setting a brutal pace. Thighs rippled from squatting and thrusting up. “S-so big..big big..”

“Go for it baby, Come on!” Johnny’s slamming your smaller body up and down on his length without slowing. Neck veins bursting as he shouts. Cunt squeezing out spurts of slick with each pointed delivered glide of his cock. With your fingers squeezing at his bicep you bite down. Sucking on the flexed pronounced muscle until it blossoms red inside your bites. Gnawing and lapping up the area between your choked moans.

Johnny’s sweat drips fast and heavy. Hair soaked falling around his face. His chest glistening like oils being rubbed in to enhance his hard work.

Growling through gritted teeth, his cock drills into faster. The room filled with sounds of skin slapping together incessantly. Johnny’s thighs burn, shouting as he drops on top of you back on the bed. Hips never stopping, he fucks with extra force. Cock twitching as another release steadily approaches.

Each thrust rearranges your insides, rolling your eyes to the backs of your sockets. You cum aggressively. Clutched around his length too hard, Johnny has to stutter to a stop. Whining as he tries to pull out, cock slapping over your mound shooting white ropes up to your breasts. His face contorting from the strong climax hitting him full force.

He falls to your side trying to catch his breath. Body unreal under the red lights and glow of sweat. Turning to your side you pinch at your markings left behind on his arm proudly. Fiending to leave more, on his thighs, hip indentations, the slender dip of his waist.

Calming down, Johnny turns to look at you. Tickling down your messy cum covered stomach to rub your clit. You hiss pushing back into the bed.

“Sensitive..”

He looks down, your eyes following to where he’s still hard. Lifting a brow blown away by the amount of stamina he has.

Biting your lip, you place his fingers lower. Tight hole fluttering on contact. His mouth parts with surprise, sitting up excited. He moves you into a more comfortable position. Avoiding the wet spots you’ve left behind on the bedding.

Johnny doesn’t hesitate to place your thighs on his shoulders. Laying on his stomach to tongue at your rim. He slurps and licks your hole urging it to open up for him. Tongue prodding and dipping in until you’ve relaxed enough to let him ease a way in.

Able to wiggle inside now he sounds obscene. Sucking up the saliva that pools down to your ass. Pulling out he spits, rubbing two fingers in a circle around your rim. Twitching as he teases you to relax and open up more for him.

“You sure about this?” He asks with a kiss to your rim. Lips gently pouting into it.

“Please, stop holding back.” You whine, grabbing your cheeks to hold yourself open more for him. Johnny groans diving back in, laving your hole until it’s pulsing. Body asking him to get inside. “God..please Joh—“

Johnny sits up, brow lifted clenching his jaw. “What was that?”

“I…” a finger shoves in before you can come up with an excuse. Johnny thrusting in and out of your tight hole watching as you contract around him, picturing his cock in place.

“Who are you asking to stop holding back now princess?” He asks again. A seriousness behind each word. Adding another finger to start stretching your rim open. You writhe down, staring at him apologetically.

“Daddy…I meant to say daddy.”

“Mmm, I’ll let it pass this time.” Johnny feigns annoyance. Brushing the tips of his fingers deep inside of you for a while until you look peaceful. Slowly drawing out, he climbs off the bed, returning with a clear small bottle of lube.

He could be mean and squeeze it directly into your hole, opting to warm up the liquid before pressing two fingers back inside of you. Stroking his cock with his other hand, making sure to evenly coat himself to make this less painful. Even if you’ve taken anyone before, there was no way they would compare to him.

Once you’re stretched out enough, seeming to enjoy the sensation. He spreads the excess lube between the crevice of your ass. Holding onto the base of his size as he positions you into a more fitting angle.

Letting your thighs rest on his hips, Johnny circles your rim. Cockhead pushing in and out experimentally. Mesmerized by the way you convulse trying to capture him with each pull out. Playing with your hole repeatedly until you make a sound, nudging his lower back with your foot. Throat rested and tired by now.

“Want me to fuck your ass full that badly don’t you?” He says, gliding in closer. Cockhead finally breaching further. Having to slow himself down to inch you lower onto his size.

It takes longer to fully accommodate him this time. Johnny having to take breaks whenever you whimper too loud. Rubbing circles on your thighs and hips with his thumbs until you relax enough to let him get in. Pelvic finally meeting your bottom after ten minutes of trying. He has to take longer breaths to cool the heat stirring in his stomach. Gripped too tight, ready to let go inside your ass before even moving.

“Calm down for me baby.” Bending over, Johnny kisses up your warm cheeks. Tired eyes admiring his patience with you. Shifting his hips slightly to give you some sense of what's to come. “The more you relax, the better it will feel.”

“I’m ready daddy.” You nod. The glisten returning to your eyes signifying more tears to come. Johnny continues to soothingly rub up and down your sides to distract you. Giving himself extra time to get used to how suffocatingly tight you feel.

Letting out a sharp exhale, Johnny eyebrows furrow. Chancing a thrust and rolling his hips down. Muscles maddeningly clench around his cock with each small movement. His teeth grind, having to pull on his hair to control himself from thrusting faster.

“Daddy please.. I can take it. I promise.” You beg him to unleash already. The familiar tears return, this time for your craving to be ruined.

Johnny can’t contain himself any longer. Bucking forward hard enough to jostle your body further up the bed. Your legs open up further to welcome him in. Pulling out longer with each thrust, he slams in harder until you’re finally loosened up. The unmistakable sound of pleasure bellows out in your long drawn out moans. Johnny takes it as a sign to move freely, holding onto your shoulders to not fuck you off the bed. His thrusts grow louder, hitting the backs of your thighs with impact.

“You’re so tight for me baby.” He pants. Thrusts picking up, lifting your lower half off the bed until he’s ramming inside your ass with nothing in the way. Johnny’s arms give out, thighs working extra hard to keep fucking you how you deserve. Toppling over he bites down on your neck with a muffled groan.

“Keep fucking me please, don’t stop. Don’t s-stop, don’t stop!” You beg suddenly. Blinking away the overwhelming high consuming you trying to focus on Johnny’s practiced thrusts. Losing the battle to a new high of pleasure, your mind blacks out. Scratching at his shoulders and chest. Another orgasm passes through you like white noise. Ears too fogged to even hear your desperate cries.

Johnny tries to hide his cry in the juncture of your neck. Unable to thrust anymore with your deadly grip on him. He finishes, cumming inside your ass, only just noticing how hard you’re tearing up. Slowly pulling out, he picks you up to sit in his lap.

“Shhh shh, calm down angel.” He luls, petting your sweat drenched hair back. “It’s okay. Daddy’s here, daddy’s going to take care of you.”

He cradles you like this for a while, losing track of the amount of time. Wiping away all the new tears that continue to river out.

“Can you talk to me baby?” He whispers. Kissing from the tip of your nose up to the space between your eyebrows. “You still with me?”

You nod silently. Mumbling apologies that Johnny shushes away. Tracing your lips with his thumb until you’re kissing back.

“Good girl. The best.”

“Want more daddy.. can you fuck me again?” You request shyly once you’ve calmed enough. Thirsting to feel Johnny splitting you open once more.

“Shh, don’t talk like that angel. Good girls only listen. Get on your knees for me.” Johnny directs you. Pointing to an area on the bed for your to move to

“Like this?” You ask with confusion. Looking at him over your shoulder as you turn to show him your backside.

“I told you to stay quiet.” He reprimands. Pushing your shoulders down until your breasts smash against the bed. With a scoff his palms smooth down your figure, tracing the dips of your waist, rounding out over your hips. Hand disappearing quickly, landing against your bottom with a snapping hit. Jostling your face deeper into the bed, you cry for more. Met with another succession of hits until your buttcheek stings. Ass rippling from the impact of each hit.

“You know what happens when you don’t listen to daddy?” Johnny asks, not expecting much of an answer. Pushing one of your wrists up closer to the headboard. Your shoulder aching under the stretch, the sound of metal clasps together around you. Tugging uselessly as he cuffs you to the bed.

Moving around behind you, he returns less than a minute later. Thin leather straps drag across your ass, tickling as they swipe between your thighs. Shining in the aftermath of your wetness and cum splattered on your thighs.

Your head shakes, unable to answer, that’s when the first hit lands. Streaking multiple shots of pain across your lower half. Johnny holds you down with one hand pushing between your shoulder blades. The flogger sounds like whips with each land on your skin. Angling it to smack right between your thighs until your cunt feels raw and swollen.

“Please daddy!”

“Please what baby?” Johnny taunts you with a coo. Focusing on bruising the backs of your thighs with hit after hit. “Hmm? Can you take more?“

“Yes yes..fuck, God yes.” You mumble brainlessly. Wrist limply jerking in the handcuffs. Johnny grunts satisfied, smoothing his cooled palms over your heated flesh. Pecking the perky rise of your ass before positioning behind you.

“Good girl. Pretty baby have one more for me?” He’s circling your sore entrance. Dipping just the tip in with the question. Nodding weakly, your hips canting back for more. “Just like that sweetie.”

Motivated by the praise, you sink back lower. Cock gliding in nearly to the brim from your overeagerness. Johnny taking the opportunity to fuck you until you’re bending hard enough for your ribs to stick out at the harsh angle. Having to bite back a shout at how deep he feels hitting you from the back like this.

“Wish you could see how pretty your pussy looks taking me princess.” Johnny sighs, rubbing your waist, shallowly thrusting. Completely open for the taking. He buries in only slowing down to drag out to the tip. Groaning as he watches his length disappear inside of you over and over again. “Everything about you is just so pretty.”

“D-don’t stop..make me c-cum again. Need y-your cum.” You think you ask, words jumbling together in your brain. Fucked out and fuzzy, unable to form coherent thoughts let alone words.

“Where do you need it baby?” Johnny grunts, cock stirring inside at a dizzying rhythmic pace. Filled to the brim by the entirety of his length making it harder to let him pull out with each inch just barely thrusting out. With your grasping at the ruined bedding, you roll your head back to gaze up. Reaching back with your free hand, you scratch at his muscles, flesh rising beneath your nails.

Johnny slaps your thigh with a held back hiss, pressing you down under his weight until the backs of your thighs ache and strain.

“Daddy please, please don’t stop..” you breathe out, lacking air under the weight locking you in position. Johnny looked more like a large blurred figure behind you now. His muscles bursting from his biceps caging your head as he leaned over you. His throatily growls, pummeling hips forward with a harsh snap.

“You gonna cum on this dick princess?“ Johnny asks, pelvic clapping against your ass hard enough to bruise.

“Yes yes yes!” You cry, kicking at the backs of his thighs. The soles of your feet clap against his skin noisily from the impact. Johnny rams into the brim with heavy pointed thrust. Pushing trapped air out of your lungs with each slam of his hips. Cunt milking at his length to get what you want. “Daddy, inside! Inside me please!”

“Come on pretty baby, need you to cum first.” Johnny orders, fingers brushing past your hip to massage your clit. Arching back to meet his thrusts wildly, you scream louder. Climax hitting you harder than the last few. It numbs your nerves, shooting through your spine. Last bits of energy you have left used to grip around the length continuing to push past your closing walls.

“God! Fuck!” Johnny growls. Forcing his engorged cock inside you to reach his release. His grunts play like music, throaty and deep, congested by his overexertion. He presses flush to your ass with one more deep thrust. Full balls snuggly locked against your sensitive clit. Shivering even more beneath him despite your orgasm passing. His weight rests over your back compressing your chest to the bed. Hips jerking as he fucks you full with another load.

You contract around him, begging for more in-spite of how exhausted you are. Johnny licking and biting over one of your shoulder bones. He hisses, finally softening inside of you. Palms pushing on the bed around your body to lift off. You reach back again, grasping at his hips with a broken ‘no!’. Throat hurting and sounding more like a worn down speaker. He stills, holding himself up behind you.

“What’s wrong baby?” Johnny coos. He sounds just as drained as you. Biceps shaking to keep his body from crushing you.

“D-don’t..” you whisper. Face turning to rest on the bed more comfortably. “Please.”

Johnny blinks, taking in your marked up flesh. The bites painted on your shoulders, on his biceps as well. He nods even though you can’t see.

“I got you angel.” He reassures with a gentle hold around your midsection. Turning your figure slowly without slipping out of your core. He adjusts the both of you onto your side. Littering kisses over the extra deep bite marks he’s left behind.

“Thank you..” you say, muffled against the bed. Johnny strokes up your side. Caccooning your frame with his legs and arms wrapped around you. Whispering praises for how good you did.

He pecks your cheek, catching the corner of your eye with another kiss. “Have to let me clean you up princess. I can’t let you fall asleep like this, okay?”

“I know daddy..” you sigh. Squirming against him. His cock twitching inside, biting back a moan behind you. “Don’t want you to move yet, please?”

“Of course angel, anything for you.”

Johnny lets you nap on his cock despite the desire to fuck you again while you’re passed out. Saving the idea for another day in favor of letting you rest. Today had been a lot for the both of you.

Even half asleep he made sure to run you a bath before you could fall asleep again. Gently cleaning all the residual spit and cum left behind before easing you into one of his t-shirts. Too drowsy to even realize he’d switched you to his actual bedroom, curled around your back. Softly rubbing your hip until you’ve fully knocked out.

—————————————————-

The sound of Johnny’s knuckles cracking echoes throughout his home office. Computer chair creaking with every spring as he leans back and forth. Keys tap away beneath the tips of his fingers. Mumbling to himself as he replies to messages.

“So many emails to get through today. So many test results to sort through.” Johnny sighs. Whipping off his glasses to massage the skin between his brows. It wrinkles together, gathering in folds. The tip of his tongue dragging along the bottoms of his top row of teeth. He clears his throat, settling back in the luxurious leather office chair he’s stuck to most weekends grading papers.

“Daddy?” Your tiny voice carries, buried beneath the large wooden desk before him. Dreamy eyes gaze up from between his firm spread apart thighs. Your cheek nuzzles against the slacks he’s wearing today. Snug fitting, showing off each of his leg muscles with every anxious bounce of his heel. Dressing up to entice you with professional attire. In reality he barely ever did, weekends were spent in old sweats, some even torn at the seams.

Johnny’s chin tucks in, a hint of deeper creasing in his smile lines at the sound of your raspy broken voice. The evidence of tired used vocal chords. His brow quirks enough to encourage you to continue on without having to tell you.

“I can help you?” You flash him a smile, sniffing along the inseam of his slacks. Nose creeping closer to his upper thigh. Eyes falling shut as you pick up on hints of faded fabric softener scent still clinging to the material. Johnny’s freshly washed body exuding a clean masculine scent beneath. Triggering a frenzy in your sore throat to find what he focused on cleansing the most this morning.

“and how exactly could you help me princess?” Johnny asks wolfishly. Head tilted to the side with a doting look. Swooping two fingers through your hair enough to reveal your facial profile. Finally ending to rest between his thighs where his bulge grows warm and hard under your cheek. Nestled against it as if you’re ready for bed. Cuddled up to a stuffed teddy bear, naively innocent and alluring.

“I can help you destress.” Planting a kiss on his thickening length, you blink up hopeful he’ll approve your suggestion. Lightly lapping up the shape of his girth over his crotch. Pants suffocating his dick the longer he allowed you to soak up the area.

Johnny directed you to sit on your knees while he worked. Good girls listen to their daddy, especially if they expected a reward later. He pets the top of your head lovingly. Chin perched on his knee as you studied his every move. With only 10 minutes gone by, you had already grown impatient. Denied showering together this morning in favor of checking his work email. Johnny insisted you would have time for fun after he completed a few tasks. Aera wouldn’t be home until later in the day anyway.

“You really think you’re ready to take me down your little throat again?” Johnny tsks. Neck bending to the side with a look of contemplation. “You cried so much yesterday baby. Had me worried sick.”

He lets out a dramatic disappointed sigh. Tapping the tip of your nose as you scrunch in dismay. Pushing his ass forward until your face is plastered against his groin. Cheek damp with your saliva drenching through the material. You let out a sound of puzzlement, ready to protest. Johnny’s palm encasing the back of your neck. Large enough to instill fear, igniting a shiver down your spine. A small motion to remind you of how easily he can handle you.

“It’s going to take more to get your throat trained for me. You can’t even take me halfway without gagging.” He continues. Long digits squeezing up the column of your neck. The tips pressing down on the center until you gasp. “I don’t want to hurt you angel. Maybe you aren’t ready to take daddy’s cock again.”

“I am!” You struggle to move. Blaring him with a look of sheer panic. Gripping around his upper thighs with insistence. “Please! Want to make daddy feel good. Please let me try again. I’ll do anything.”

Johnny coo’s, dragging his hand into the back of your hair. Threaded between chunks of strands to get a good hold on you. A small tug that lets your scalp feel tender for no more than a second. Your tongue hangs out thirsty, panting with a pleading gaze. Laving the sealed zipper that keeps you away from what you want, what you need.

Gnawing at his lower lip, Johnny sweeps the drool pooling down your chin with his other hand. Fingers lifting to your opened lips for you to clean it off.

“You will do anything, won’t you princess?” He questions seriously. Eyebrows lifted up as he awaits your response.

“Anything..anything for you daddy.”

Johnny’s chest rises fully satisfied by your demure wanton tone. Completely submitted to him. His thumb rubs at your bottom lip, still swollen from the abuse your mouth endured just hours ago. Reaching for his zipper handle, inching it lower with your gaze trained on each unveil of his briefs underneath.

“This is lesson one baby.”

a/n: need to add that this is not proofed, as usual.

@seuomo @unknown5tar @sunoosi @ahsshilee-me @jenoslutie @nc-teen @if-i-like-i-reblog @johnjaespeach @nohyuckieduckie @xxhoseoksie @kimsaerom @eleven23

@bbhentaisstuff @straykidsftnct

#─ 𖥻 dear diary: h3’$ m1n3 !!!

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wickedloving · 2 years

Photo

Bang Chan ✧ 220318 Fancam

#I’m not even gonna try and trick myself into thinking pure thoughts #there’s nothing pure about this man and that should be a fact #like come tf ON MAN TF IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH ME #MY OVARIES HAVE CEASED TO EXIST #sincerely fuck you #no no fuck *me* instead

792 notes · View notes

wickedloving · 2 years

Text

My Youth (M)

Preview: “How could I ever forget the omega that made me pop my first knot? Most embarrassing summer of my life.” Jeno groans rubbing a hand over his face.

“You mean we popped our firsts knots. Most embarrassing summer of our lives.” Jaemin adds on shaking his own head. “I still think about that white bikini when I’m beating off. Maybe I should hit her up since she’s back?”

“Doesn’t sound like a good idea..” Haechan mutters gazing out his bedroom window, watching you towel dry your hair.

“You still holding on to that crush dude? You know an omega like that only goes for alphas. You don’t stand a chance.”

Pairing: alpha Haechan x female omega reader

Word Count: 5k

Genre: a/b/o, pwp, smut, m/f, obsessed Haechan, explicit language

Smut Warning: first rut, masturbation, oral, slick, knotting, feral alpha fucking(also feral love😇)

a/n: sunflower day🌻🐻🥳

“Oh my gosh! Is that my Haechannie?” You drop your bag down on the porch, jogging to the house next door. Haechans face falls, eyes searching around for an escape.

“Fuck.. shit fuck..” he murmurs under his breath. Forcing a smile as you approach closer. “Hah...ah you’re back! Wow!”

“Look at you! Still have that baby face” you slap your hands on his cheeks squeezing. Your own smile wide releasing breathless giggles. “I could just eat these cheeks!”

“Ah, don’t embarrass me. People can see..” Haechan pulls your hands off, flexing his jaw. Why did you have to come back for summer? He was doing so good pretending you didn’t exist... Other than when he jerked off in the shower thinking about hot August day’s at the community pool.

“I’m not a baby anymore. I’m almost an adult you know.”

“You’ll always be a baby to me” you bounce up and down, throwing arms around Haechan’s broadening shoulders. “You have grown up a lot I guesss. That cute baby face never changes.” You sniff at his neck, brows furrowing together.

“You still haven’t presented? You’re about to be twenty one right?” Haechan takes in a deep breath trying to think about anything besides your breasts pressed against him.

“Uh yea.. Nothing still.” He sighs, face dropping. Haechan focuses on his hands, pulling at a hang nail. “Doctor says it’s normal..”

“If this isn’t just the most adorable sight to see again!” Haechans mom pulls up into the drive way, window down waving and shouting. “Look at you two! Just like old times!” She slams the door shut, approaching where you stand with arms wrapped around Haechan’s shoulders.

“Hello Mrs. Lee! You look amazing as always! I can only dream to still turn heads at your age.” You move your arms around Haechan’s slim waist, squeezing him in closer. Haechan audibly swallows, stiffening in your arms.

“Oh don’t be silly, a young beautiful omega like you? I can only hope my baby boy will be able to bring a girl like you home someday.” She pinches at his cheek fat much like you had just done. Haechan groaning pulling his face away.

“Mommmmmm” he whines out, music to your ears. Dreaming of the day you’d hear your neighbors whiny cries again. Studying abroad had been an experience, but your heart ached for the simplicity of life back home. For the boy next door that rode bikes with you all day. Chased after the ice cream man for you.

“Ah, someday Haechannie. When you finally present I can start setting you up with my friends daughters! My poor baby boy had to be a late bloomer, just like his father.” Mrs. Lee smooths her sons fly aways with a stare of adoration. Haechan’s cheeks glowing, burning hot with hues of pink.

“Mr. Lee’s an alpha right? I wonder who Haechan will take after?” You question, releasing the boy squirming in your hold.

“I think he still has a shot at being an alpha. Mr. Lee had quite a late presentation himself. Always retelling me the story, how thankful I should be that we met later in life. I guess presenting at eighteen was more intense than normal.” Mrs. Lee shrugs twirling around her house keys.

“Godddd I’m standing right here! Can we stop talking about this?!” Haechans head falls back dramatically, voice cracking from his drying throat. You can’t control yourself, hugging around him again with a squeeze.

“You’re so stinking cute Haechannie ahh, I really missed you!” You squeal, rubbing your nose over his shirt with a deep inhale. Haechan sighs, pushing his balled up fists between your bodies to create space.

“Aw I’m so happy Haechan will have his best girl friend back. All he does is hang out with those two trouble making alphas” Mrs. Lee clicks her tongue. “I’ll leave you two be! Don’t be a stranger, our home is your home too sweetie!” She shouts out waving off before heading into the house.

“Pft, so you’re still best friends with those perverts huh?” You tug Haechans ear lobe. He bites at his plump upper lip, subtly moving his lower half further away.

“They’re not that bad.. all alphas are like that..”Haechan mumbles more nervous around you than usual. Eyes avoiding yours, preferring to watch his feet.

“Well whatever, now you have me all summer. We better hang out” you shake Haechans shoulders. Eyes curiously widening feeling the muscles in your palms. Haechan had grown a lot from what you could see.

“You’ve been working out?” Your hands slide down, squeezing his biceps letting out ‘ooooo’s and ‘ahhhh’s.

“Kind of have to if I’m gonna be hanging out with alphas all the time. It’s basically like being a third wheel when I’m with Jeno and Jaemin..” Haechan sighs, basking in the attention you’re giving him. Maybe a little too much he worries. It really is impressive how much he’s built up.

“Ah, you were always the fun one to hang out with. All those two ever did was try to catch me changing into my swimsuit. Like that time Jeno managed to get my bikini top untied, that was the worst.” You smile warmly, poking at the cute little beauty marks scattered over Haechans face. “You’d never do something like that to me. Betas always make the best of friends, they know how to respect omegas.”

“I’m not a beta.” Haechan grasp your wrist pulling away. “I’m unpresented..”

“I know.. it’s just.. you’re almost a full adult? Presenting as an alpha this late would be.. unlikely..” you stutter nervously, fingers digging into your wrist. Haechan throws your arms away, wiping his palm down his shirt.

“Right well. It was good to see you again.” His jaw tightens, stepping backward toward his home.

“Hey.. I didn’t mean anything bad! You’re not upset are you?” You reach for his arm, Haechan moving further away.

“Not at all. I have to.. help my mom or something. See ya around.” He turns away rushing inside. Leaving you standing there with egg on your face. Feeling guilty, stupid and senseless.

——————————————————————————

Haechan groans tugging at his hair, why, just why did you have to come back. All fucking summer to torment him with what he can’t ever have. His phone sounds off, group chat messages he’d rather ignore right now.

Alpha shithead #1- “dude get on, we’re about to play WOW.”

Alpha dickhead #2- “Probably busy ripping his dick off. Word around the street is his favorite omegas back in town.”

Alpha shithead #1- “No fucking way, really?”

Haechan slams his phone down clicking the screen off. He pulls on his headphones, logging into his user.

“Yes you assholes, she’s back.” Haechan focuses on his computer screen, clicking around.

“Tits get bigger?” Jaemin’s voice questions. Haechan can’t see him but just knows he’s dawning a shit eating grin.

“Yes.”

“Nice!” Jaemin shouts out in response.

“I bet she’s extra ripe now.” Jeno joins in, most likely also expressing a cocky smirk.

“You guys really are perverts.” Haechan whispers under his breath to himself. Head turning with curiosity staring into the window across from his own.

Of course you’re walking in freshly showered. Of course you’re wearing the tiniest robe, barely concealing anything. Of course you’re determined to ruin his last bit of sanity without even trying.

“Don’t be such a virgin Haechan. You act like we weren’t around all these years you obsessed and pined over her. Bet she missed having her little bitch boy around.” Jaemin scoffs into the mic nastily. Always so prideful about all the omega ass he could easily get.

“Well, he is a virgin” Jeno laughs crassly. “Besides... how could I ever forget the omega that made me pop my first knot? Most embarrassing summer of my life.” Jeno groans rubbing a hand over his face.

“Doesn’t sound like a good idea..” Haechan mutters gazing out his bedroom window, watching you towel dry your hair.

“You still holding on to that crush dude? You know an omega like that only goes for alphas. You don’t stand a chance.”

“You know what guys, I have to help my mom set up some stuff for dinner. I’ll talk to you assholes later.” Haechan signs off before the two on the other end can complain. Only catching a second of yelled curses.

“Fucking alphas..” he sighs, mouth twitching trying to control himself. It was the truth after all, he hadn’t gotten over his infatuation with you. Would it even matter? Perverts or not Jeno and Jaemin probably had more of a shot with you than he ever would.

Haechan stands up pacing back and forth, repeatedly gliding fingers through his hair. The sound of a blow dryer blasting to life passes by. With a tight swallow, he steps to the curtains. Eyes drifting to your window yet again. The same window he watched you through for many years before you decided to study abroad. Was it wrong? Was it creepy? Was it obsessive? It’s not as if you had no idea he was right across the way... why did you leave you curtains open so often?..

Haechan flinches, stepping behind a dark blue curtain just enough to hide his figure. The alpha from the next street over.. what was his name.. right Johnny. That asshole that’s always working on his car shirtless. Making his way to your window, looking around and over his shoulder. Haechan watches as the alpha sits against the wall. With another glance around, Johnny taps at your window. The blow dryer shutting off as you search, having heard something.

Johnny taps again, fingers clinging to the window ledge. Smiling eyes and forehead appearing before you as he peaks inside. Your face lighting up, clicking the window lock open. Johnny moves fast, pulling the glass up letting himself in. His face leans forward dawning pouted lips.

You place a finger over his lips with a ‘shhh’ oblivious to whose watching. Unaware anyone would be watching. Johnny smirks, pulling his body weight into your room. He leans down, arms wrapping around your waist. Your robe falling open as his body presses against you. Johnny reaching behind, pulling the curtain shut.

Haechans eyes shut, deep breath hissing out with a curse. Not even an entire fucking day. Why should he expect anything else from you. You were always going to think of him as some kid. Some unpresented beta, the lap dog next door..

—————————————————————————-

“Fuck..” Haechan bites on his bottom lip. Ass squirming against his bed, huffing deep breaths out in frustration.

Head turning side to side, thumb running over his slit. Precum sliding between fingers, strokes growing faster. Pissed off, irritated, hornier than fucking hell for some reason. He tugs faster, fingers circling around himself tightly.

Haechans eyes fall shut, mouth hung open letting out breathy moans. Precum smearing down his shaft with every pull on his cock. It’s so fucking cruel, so fucked up how even now you are all he can think about. Memory of pointed hard nipples digging into his chest this morning. He grunts, picturing his body on you instead of Johnnys.

“Ugh.. fuck” Haechans hips lift into the air, hard cock pulsating. He falls back against the bed writhing with annoyance. It just wasn’t enough anymore, something deep inside screamed louder. Something trying to be set free.

“God fuck this..” Haechan lets go, pulling at his hair. Teeth grinding, screaming silently in anger. Tapping sounds follow from his window. It’s late, it could only be you. No one else uses his bedroom window, only you. Haechan checks the time, 11:50pm. You never missed, always wanting to be the first to wish him a Happy Birthday.

Your taps growing louder, switching tone to light knocks. Haechan huffs sitting up, dick raging, twitching against his abs. His eyes glare at the window, your shadows visible past the curtains. It should be cute, sweet, sickeningly sweet how you treat him. How you’ve always treated him like a best friend. This must be why omegas only ever seem to befriend other omegas.

He stands, adjusting himself against his lower stomach, briefs snapping across his cock, shiver passing through his bones.

“I’m coming” Haechans long arms grip the curtains, ripping them open. Face lowered, glaring at your adorable overjoyed face. You wave your hands in the air, jumping up and down.

“Let me in! It’s cold!” Pressing your nose into the glass with wide eyes. Mouthing out the words, Haechans own mouth twitching at the corners. With a sigh to himself, he unlocks the panel. Old wood scratching together as the window rises.

“Guess who!” You whisper loudly, aware his parents are most likely asleep by now. Haechan steps back, face turning aside with a roll of his eyes.

“Shouldn’t be surprised, it’s always you.” Muttering to himself. A look of concern crosses your features, pulling up over the wall.

“You not feeling good baby?” You grab Haechans arm, pulling him in close. The scent of alpha still lingering off your hair. Haechans face cringing as the air flows around his face. “Oh my god are you getting sick??”

“No” his lips purse, nostrils flaring. “You couldn’t have taken a shower before coming over?” Haechan pulls his arm free of your hold. Taking a step away with arms crossing over his chest.

“I..” your head ducks, subtly getting a whiff of yourself. “I lost track of time.. I didn’t want to be late..”

“Why even bother? Who cares about Birthdays when you reach this age anyways.” Haechan scoffs. Internal dialogue yelling at him to make you his. To claim you before another alpha can. Debating with himself how that will just never happen.

“Haechannie... I’m always going to care.. come on don’t be such a baby.” You cup his face, gasping with surprise. He’s so warm, like a furnace that’s been lit too long. “I think you’re running a fever!”

“I’m not a baby.” Haechan squeezes your wrists tugging you away. Fingers burying into your veins. Hands burning around you, hot enough to leave marks. Haechan closes the space between your bodies, tongue swiping across his lower lip. They shine, pouty and soft. Your breathing sounding louder with each second passing.

“All I want from you.. all I’ve ever wanted from you” his eyes go lazy. Hooded heavy under the heat consuming his body. Nose nudging the tip of yours, chest rising faster.

“What...do you..” Haechan stops your mumbled words mid sentence, lips crashing into yours. He’s so hot, spit like lava in your mouth. Tongue sliding in, flicking against yours. Neck losing ability to hold itself up any longer, succumbing to the pleasure that is Haechans mouth.

Air flows out of your nose, fighting with his mouth for more. Trying to get every little taste of him. He feels so good, the familiar rush of slick returning between your thighs. Simultaneously moaning together. Haechan pressing you against the wall, hips shoving forward into yours. He sucks at your tongue, mouth working around the muscle powerfully. God who knew Haechan could kiss like this?..

Wait...Haechan...kissing......kissing you..

With a need for fresh air, you pull away panting. Inhaling quickly, Haechans eyes squeezed shut, hard cock burying against your stomach.

“I..” you panic, ripping yourself free of his hold. Swiftly dipping between the window, half of your body making it’s way out before you can finish processing a thought. “..should go..” you whisper. Haechans jaw hanging, watching you run away. Literally run toward your open bedroom window. Not even sparing him one glance.

You didn’t even wish him a Happy Birthday..

—————————————————————————-

You couldn’t wait to give Haechan his gift. Hoping the events of the previous day could just go swept under the rug. It’s not that you didn’t like him, more like maybe you liked him too much. Why ruin such a great friendship with mindless sex? Alpha or not of course Haechan was perfect in every way. He took care of you when you needed him the most. Always making you laugh, wiping your tears away when alphas broke your heart.

You bit at your thumb nail walking slow steps toward Haechan’s window. Maybe you stayed up all night thinking about how his lips felt. Maybe you always knew he had a liking for you beyond just friends. With slight hesitation you tap at the glass, bouncing on the heels of your foot. Nothing, no response. The window locked, curtains drawn shut. It was unusual, Haechan never locked his window in case you needed to get away.

Was he upset? Your whole chest sunk in at the thought. How could you ruin his Birthday of all days. You try again, knocking with more force against the glass. Growing impatient as more thoughts race by with worry. You make way around to the front, slowing when you spot the empty drive way. No cars on a Saturday morning? Where would his parents be? Didn’t Haechan mention they wanted to have a family dinner to celebrate twenty one years?

Ah, maybe they were at breakfast? Haechan did have a love for fluffy pancakes. Yea, that’s it.. breakfast, you nod to yourself still unsure. Toying with the ribbon you wrapped up his gift with. Maybe you should just leave it here, a nice surprise for whenever Haechan got back. You debate with yourself for a minute, shaking your head stepping onto the porch. Setting down the gift, you notice the front doors not completely shut. Unlocked and left slightly ajar, now that was unusual.

Looking around in contemplation, bundles of nerves stricken with sudden fear. Without giving another thought, you push the door open. The entrance hallway is an absolute mess. Closet thrown open, clothes scattered all over the floor. A potted plant spilled from a table near the entrance. Your eyes widening taking in the scene, what if someone broke in??

Pulling your phone from your back pocket ready to dial for emergency. Stepping into the house, legs stiffening as paralyzation hits you. The scent, it’s so strong, it’s everywhere.

The scent of burning sun on hot skin, like sweet honey. The scent of arousal, yearning, cum. It’s dizzying, phone dropping to the floor with a loud thud. Feet carrying you further inside. Minds only focus on finding the main source. Heat pooling between your thighs as it grows stronger. Sounds of whined moans, grunts of frustration play to your ears as you approach.

Of course it was coming from Haechan’s room. Almost too good to be true, you have to grab at the walls making way to his open door. He’s so loud, in pain, what if someone was hurting him? What if an alpha broke in, causing ungodly harm to your friend? You tried to reason some common sense to yourself, but the scent was too much. It was wrapping around your brain, fogging up any moral thoughts. Your own need surpassing any care you should have.

“Al-alpha..” you whimper, hunching forward ready to fall to your knees in submission.

“Fuck, don’t! Don’t come any closer!!” That was Haechan’s voice. You’d recognize that voice anywhere, need to be filled with cock consuming you or not. You push forward, gripping the opening to his room door.

Haechan’s eyes land on yours, blood red blending into flecks of golds. He’s panting so loud, thrusting with urgency. Hands clamped around a pillow as he drills his cock forward. Tears flooding at the brim of his eyes threatening to fall. Lips swollen fat, bitten to the point of abuse.

“Don’t!” Haechan cries out in anguish, he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Thrusts turning manic fucking into the destroyed pillow faster.

“H-haechan..” you slip down to the floor, chest rising and falling rapidly. Hand finding it’s way between your legs. Shorts and inner thighs completely drenched in slick. He shouts out, back arching forward, cum violently shooting into the air. Tears flowing down his reddened cheeks, convulsing in torment. Cock heavy, shining in his seed, base swelled up looking tortured. You squeeze around your mound, jaw dropping open with pure shock.

“You’re... p-presented...oh my god..you’re an alpha..” your voice cracks. Fingers moving fast to unzip yourself. Haechan hunches forward with a growl, fist digging into the mattress.

“You need....you need to l-leave..” his teeth grind together, trembling muscles straining. You had to show up, could never just stay away.

“Haechan..” ignoring his words, you crawl closer to the bed. Knees aching on the hardwood floor, hands trying to rip off your shorts. “Alpha..”

Haechan growls immensely, chest protruding with satisfaction, with pride. That’s right, he is an alpha. You’ll never call him a beta again. You clench the blanket, nails leaving scratch indents. Hauling your upper half up, tongue hanging out practically drooling.

Haechan tosses the wrecked pillow aside, crawling forward. Long fingers drag over your heated cheeks. Honey pot golden orbs burning into yours. Angry throbbing cock bouncing before your large eyes. The scent was hypnotizing from afar enough to begin with, putting you under a spell up close. It’s more than dizzying, it’s euphoric, it’s Haechan.

“Alpha...alpha please..” begging, you’re fucking begging. Haechans mind nearly melts, disbelief he’s making you beg. Trembling hands cup your face, pulling you up.

“Is this what you want.” He jabs his cock between your lips. Teeth gritting when you automatically part open, head slipping into your soaked hot mouth. It wasn’t a question anyway. You’re too eager, lips stretching around his length. Tracing veins pulsating along Haechans size. The taste even, too fucking good. Slick pouring out past your underwear, a puddle between your legs on the floor.

“Fucking..s-shit” Haechans eyes squeeze, blinking rapidly. Cursing himself for shutting them even one second. He needs to watch you, needs to remember how you look with your lips straining around him.

You move like a pro, no surprise. Sucking down his length like it’s something you could do everyday. Haechans known you long enough to know he’s not far off with that idea. It doesn’t matter, you were going to be his now.

You move faster, guzzling around the length. Hand circling at the fat base. Haechans knot painful, begging for relief. You squeeze at the knot, spit dripping aiding the movement. Haechans grunts of pleasure and satisfaction flowing from your ears to center.

You pull off, drool covering the lower half of your face. Lips bloated, tongue hanging out slapping his cock down. Haechan thrusts softly against your tongue, nose sucked in suppressing whimpers.

“Fuck, fuck amazing..” your eyes roll up, crazed with lust. Lips pouting kissing the slit tenderly. Hand still squeezing and circling at the knot. Haechan delivers a rough thrust, cock head prodding at your cheek, balls slapping your chin.

“Yes alpha, I love your cock” your tongue drags, lapping between his sack. Arms flexing working harder to squeeze out his cum. You suck on his balls, bouncing them around your tongue. Haechans eyes roll back, cock dragging over your nose. Sucking ferociously, mouth pulling off with a noisy pop.

“Cum all over my fucking face” you pant screaming out. Gripping around the knot tightly. Haechan can’t stand it anymore, abdomen jerking forward. Falling hunched over, cum shooting out across your cheek, nose, forehead. You’re fucking covered in him, thought alone forcing more cum to jolt out.

Your mouth hangs open, maneuvering yourself enough to catch some of it. Of fucking course he tastes like heaven. Beyond words to describe, addictive to say the least. You shakily pull yourself up, Haechan gasping for air above you. Rut only satiated for the first time just enough to have a clear mind again.

“Haechan..” you dig into his full hair, fingers massaging at his scalp. Pecking across Haechans shivering burning hot shoulders. He’s breathing with intensity, core muscles sucking in deep. “Baby...let me help you..”

You lift his face, eyes back to normal. Red hues running through the backs of his iris. Forehead landing on yours, cum be damned. He’s a mess, cheeks flushed, sweat pouring off him like heavy rain.

“Need you..” Haechan groans, lips pressing against yours. Weakly lapping into each others mouths. Every part of him tastes so good, how you always imagined. You shift on to the bed, lips locked together. Sucking and tasting, twisting against each other in want.

Haechan pulls away, softly pecking your wet lips together. Long hands gripping around your thighs, adjusting you laying back on his bed. The bed you spent many hours on laughing with him. Playing games, doing homework, sharing secrets. Thoughts rushing out of your heart, nerves awakening when the realization really hits. This wasn’t just any alpha, this was Haechan. The only boy in the world that mattered to you.

His eyes drift across your body, fingers trailing down your middle. Haechan pulls at your shirt, aiding you to get it off, tossed aside. He’s shaking, could be the rut... could be the excitement.. more likely the overwhelming amount of nerves.

“You have no idea..” he mumbles lowly, throat aching from hours of screaming alone trying to find any type of relief. Rut hitting hard last night after your departure. Haechans parents couldn’t even handle the constricting smell of alpha, having to flee as soon as it hit.

Haechan kisses down your damp throat, heat from his body effecting you. Pouty lips incinerating across your flesh, leaving little marks of adoration behind. Haechan strokes at your bra, fingers fumbling the straps about. Cock jolting between his thighs with urge. Your hands finding way to the begging member, stroking him back to full hardness. Size never truly softened to start with.

“Fuck me alpha” leaning up, licking into his ear. Husky voice sending a vibrant shiver down his spine. Haechan moves between your thighs, doesn’t need to be told twice. Pulling your knees apart, eyes admiring your soaking panties. Shape of your slicked up cunt squeezing out of the material. Cock jerking against him impatiently.

“You’re so so..” his mouth hangs open, hunching forward. Nose digging into your slit, gliding up and down. Slick coating Haechans face, it’s everything. His cock jerks again, moans flying out of Haechans lips. Tongue hanging free catching any slick spurting out with every nudge of his nose. “So fucking beautiful..”

He’s insatiable, obsessed, ready to keep you chained up and bred for the rest of your lives. Tongue lapping at the fabric between you, hasn’t even touched your entrance yet. Ready to lose his last bits of sanity off your aroused scent alone.

Your hips jump up, core demanding to be filled. Omega inside you craving this alpha more than anything, more than anyone. Haechan holds you down with one hand on your stomach. Heart beat passing through his palm against you so loud. His free hand tears your ruined underwear right off, cotton worn down by slick easily ripping. A scream passes out of you in surprise, legs spread open over his firm thighs.

Haechans eyes burn into your center, hole winking in return. His head shakes, cum spilling down his cock between your bodies. Some landing on your inner thighs, sliding down to the bed.

“What...the fuck..” you perch up on your elbows. Jaw hung in astonishment watching the lasts spurts of cum land on the blanket. Haechans head ducks in with embarrassment, tears burning at his eyes. “My baby...”

You sit up, squeezing at his cheeks, those cheeks. Lips grazing at his, whispering reassuring words of encouragement. Alpha ruts were always demanding, exerting every type of emotion possible from ones body and mind.

“I want you so much alpha...Haechan. I want you..” you lick at his lips, a few tears rolling down Haechans cheeks. Kisses growing heavier, he moves in. Body laying on yours flat. Cock finding way between your thighs finally, fat and girthy. Ready to stretch you open. Haechan finds your hand, entangling your fingers. Your eyes stuck on each other, cock circling your entrance. His bodies so tight, trembling over yours. Sweat pooling down to the mattress from the over heat.

“I’ve thought about this..” Haechan hesitates, murmuring words. Cock breaching your entrance with a hiss. “Oh fuck..” his ass clenches, dipping forward. Size instantly pushing you open inch by inch. Your neck falls back, mouth dropping with baited breaths. He’s working in slow, savoring each inch viciously clenched by you.

Haechans hand slams yours down to the bed, holding himself up with the other. Cock finally, finally all the way inside. So fucking deep, he can’t believe it himself. Both of your jaws loose, inhaling air like fish out of water.

“I’m..” Haechan throws his hips forward with an experimental swivel. Eyes fluttering, throat bobbing up and down. “I’m...i-inside.. of you. Fucking god..oh fuck.”

You arch with a drawn out moan, core on fire. Cunt clamping down, drawing the alpha further in. Haechan gazes between you, fingers flexing in your hold. With another curious thrusts, he pulls back. Drawing out to the tip slamming forward. Your hips jerk up with surprise. He starts fucking you, like a natural finding rhythm right away. Cock hitting so good, like he just knows exactly what to do to you.

“You feel so good” your voice cries out, hand not in his grip feeling over his muscles. Haechans core tight, trying his damn hardest to not cum abruptly again. His cock moves rapidly, jabbing at your insides.

“Oh f-fuck” he sucks in a deep breath, chest rising and falling against your hand. Sweat coating his beautiful face, shining like a golden god. His hips speed, pounding into you. Haechans eyes rolling back, your own trying to do the same. Refusing to allow yourself to take your eyes off of him.

He flops forward, chasing after climax. Hot breath fanning over your neck, pained whimpers drowning your senses.

“I like you. I like you so fucking much.” Haechan cries out, biting at your jaw. Your hand squished between your bodies pinching at his nipple, rolling the bud between your fingers.

“Haechan.... knot me...please alpha” you cry with him. Haechan letting out a loud gritty scream from the back of his throat. He’s fucking into you so hard. Bed frame beating into the wall enough to leave a dent.

“Such a perfect omega” Haechan emphasizes his words with deep thrusts. Knot expanding with each. Eyes rolling back into your skull as he widens you. Hot cum bursting, painting your insides with the alpha. It’s just too good.

He pants on top of you, eyes dazed watching the room spin. Never having cum so hard in his life, bikinis at the pool no match. Laying together locked by knot, trying to regain some type of sense. Haechan kisses around your neck, licking and sucking in appreciation.

“Haechannie..” your eyes fall shut, soft smile spreading over your features. Haechans nose dips into your cheek with a sniff. He mumbles a sound out in question, fingers tracing up and down your bare side slowly. Your legs wrap around his, intertwining bodies with a peck on the lips.

“Happy Birthday.”

💛🌞🌻🐻💛

Taglist: @seuomo @unknown5tar @sunoosi @jaeminhyuckiii @purplesun89 @laylagrillo

#officially deceased #as per usual with this amazing writer’s fics #─ 𖥻 dear diary: h3’$ m1n3 !!!

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wickedloving · 2 years

Text

DADDY ASF - a collaboration.

Do you have some daddy issues you aren’t ready to tell your therapist? Any “guilty pleasure” thoughts about significantly older men being kinda/very mean to you? One or both of these works might be exactly what you’re looking for!

DUMB DUMB.

summary. (full preview post here)

Life had been moving smoothly. Managing to watch from afar as random people dealt with complications at your menacing hands. Disturbing their peace only to calm your crave for destruction.

That was until the day you met Johnny.

Johnny Suh. The first book cover you wished to not have judged so quickly. He would turn out to be your hardest lesson yet.

pairing. single dad!Johnny x fem!reader

genre. dilf AU with a twist, daddy issues, pwp, aged up Johnny (35), reader is younger/legal, M/F, mild angst-happy ending, this gets very filthy

warnings. TBD

author. @neopuppy

tentative word count. 15k-20k

posting. mid-March

READ HERE.

GO AHEAD AND CRY, LITTLE GIRL.

summary.

You’re a barista just trying to make ends meet, one latte foam art cup at a time. What happens when a very lucrative job offer falls neatly into your lap after the wealthy, secretive, and dangerously attractive father Johnny Suh takes an interest in you?

pairing. dad!Johnny x fem!reader

genre. smut, angst

warnings. dubcon, infidelity, Johnny is manipulative, like…really manipulative, significant age gap (reader is in early 20s, Johnny is 36)

author. @domjaehyun

tentative wc. TBD; at least 8k

posting. april or may

READ HERE.

#─ 𖥻 dear diary: 1’m g01ng 0ut w1th h1m !!! ‹/𝟹

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wickedloving · 2 years

Text

pussy fiend (l.dh)

PAIRING ➢ haechan x fem!reader

GENRES & AUS ➢ smut, humor, fluff; college au, enemies to fuckbuddies to lovers, roommate au

WORD COUNT ➢ 68.9k total, in 2 parts (28.2k & 40.7k)

WARNINGS ➢ invasion of privacy, Haechan’s a sneaky little shit, cocky!Haechan, jokes about emotional manipulation, author pretends to know about stuff she doesn’t, mild dubcon

CONTENTS ➢ (mild) dubcon, bratty switches! boffum!, somnophilia, oral (receiving), allusions to a free-use kink but barely, rimming (receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, brief thigh job, praise, barely degradation but if you’re sensitive note that, some spit kink, panty sucking (?), Haechan’s a bit of a pain slut, fingering, biting

SUMMARY ➢ uhhh he likes you and is a fiend for pussy idk bestie

AUTHOR’S NOTE ➢ long time no see! please consider sending a donation/tip if you enjoy the fic! please do not get upset with me if you ignore the contents/warnings and get your feelings hurt; that is no one’s doing but yours. if you enjoy the fic, please consider tipping me here or here!! ALSO massive thank you to my love @ncteez for all her help with the initial idea and beta reading this monster for me :’)

PART TWO FOUND HERE !!

“Listen,” You start off with a firm tone as you look out at your audience. “We need to address the elephant in the room.” You say as you shoot your tormentor a disdainful look, your frown deepening when he just smirks and winks at you. “Ever since Lee Donghyuck, also known as Haechan, has moved into this apartment, my life has not known peace. I truly believe there is a karmic imbalance somewhere in the universe now that he lives here.”

Keep reading

#─ 𖥻 dear diary: 1’m g01ng 0ut w1th h1m !!! ‹/𝟹

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wickedloving · 2 years

Text

Third Wheel.

ao3 | m.list

minors dni, otherwise please like, reblog, and leave feedback, it’s important that you support the writers you like when tumblr shits on us.

wordcount → 7.4k

pairing → hyuck x fem reader (ft. voyeur mark lee)

description → What’s the point in being a third wheel if he doesn’t get to watch anyway?

or the one where hyuck lets mark watch him get his dick wet.

content → exhibitionist hyuck, car sex, dangerous driving, unprotected sex, voyeurism, jerking off lmao, mark being embarrassed and hyuck enjoying it, jealous hyuck, jealous mark, use of the pet name baby

note → this was solely for myself but im dragging yall with me. I just really needed this ok?

taglist: @aedreamzy , @ahgastayzen, @serialee

Keep reading

#─ 𖥻 dear diary: 1’m g01ng 0ut w1th h1m !!! ‹/𝟹

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wickedloving · 2 years

Text

Insanity ⏐ Kim Sunwoo

Pairing: Kim Sunwoo x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: A little fun wouldn't hurt anybody when your boyfriend decides to take you while a family member is in the house.

Genre: Smut. Fluff. Softdom Sunwoo. Exhibitionism. Usage of the name slut. Unprotected sex. Brother confrontation :) I used his Korean age not international

masterlist

The last thing you would think (if you were able to think right now), would be that this boy whose face is glued to yours and body nuzzled in between your legs is not the same boy that's terrified of almost everything. There were a lot of things that you didn't think were right, and this was one of them. And there were a lot of things he was afraid of, and maybe this wasn't one of those things.

Hands. All over you. Groping you over your clothes, all warm and squeezing tight, in some areas light and feathery, making you feel bothered and needy. Making you hiss through your teeth along with mewls. Eyebrows knitted in place at the audacity of his hands.

"stop touching me"

He pushed you further back into bed by his lips until your back comes in contact with the mattress and laying comfortably underneath him. That perfect amount of weight on top of you. Your hands can't help but snake to the nape of his neck and push him further into your mouth. Atmosphere drowned with lips smacking, biting, diluting your taste with his, heads pushing and pulling. Hands pushing and pulling.

A sly smirk crosses his lips, "Hm?, What were you saying?"

Only slightly annoyed, you pull back from him, "we can't do this here," you scoot yourself up so that you're sitting against the headboard, and Sunwoo slides you his pouty eyes. It only means one thing when he that, he wants something. And almost every time, he gets it. You almost fall for it, "look you horny shit, you didn't come here for me"

And you know you're right. You have a brother, Younghoon. When you started dating Sunwoo, those two clicked instantly. Almost an inseparable bond. Playing games, and sports with each other while you let him be. How could you not love it?

It was only when Younghoon had to leave for university that you saw Sunwoo heartbroken for the first time. Your brother was always protective and selective of the boys you opened your heart to, but with Sunwoo, he took one look at your boyfriend and surprisingly enough, by not opening his mouth and diluting the air with "no's"? That was blessing enough for Sunwoo to date you. While you had the right to date Sunwoo anyways, Younghoon grew fond of Sunwoo. And they never expected the amount of sadness when Younghoon had to leave his best friend to go to school in another city.

But now he's back, evident from the yelling and video game noises coming down the hall.

There were times where Sunwoo would hang out with Younghoon more than you, but there was no point on letting it bother you. Once a girl who values her alone time, always a girl who values her alone time.

And there were times where Sunwoo would neglect his poor best friend and leave him in the dust by being with you for hours and days. Maybe it's the fact that he's gotten so used to just having you around, he forgot what it was like that you had a brother who's also his best friend.

"You came here to hang out with Younghoon, not me"

Handing you a dismissive look, he decided to try your lips, hands moving down to your hips. But you dodge his lips and he starts to whine and groan, letting his head fall onto your stomach forehead first. Most of the time, you'd have found that endearingly adorable. Because you learned that your boyfriend is clingy and needy. "we have been together for the last few maybe months, and I overheard you two yesterday when he came back into town saying that you'll meet up with him today to play league of legends," a scoff (endearing) slips past your lips, "..you dorks"

"He'll be fiiiinee, I'll see him tomorrow", his voice muffled by the fabric of your hoodie.

"No, get off me and go hangout with my br-"

Tightening his hold on your hips a yelp escapes you from him pulling you down. And you're where you were earlier, underneath him. Underneath him and all his delicious weight. He flexes his hips up and you're only able to hiss.

"baby- I'm so worked up right now, so I'm staying here"

Feeling nervous, you take a big gulp and when you shift around, you feel his hardness in between your legs and you shiver at the contact. "Younghoon's right down the hallway Sunwoo"

Sunwoo lowers his head till his lips connect with the notch of your throat, kissing up till he reaches your ear, "we will be very very very quiet" He manages to say each 'very' sexier each time, "at least I will be"

You swallow at his words as he places his hand under your jaw, gripping tenderly, tilting your chin to the ceiling allowing his lips to explore the skin of your neck. Swirling his tongue anywhere he finds fit. His other hand pulling your sweater taut. You pull your eyebrows tight when he nips at a sensitive spot.

He lowered his voice, "If I wanna fuck you, I'll fuck you, anywhere and anytime"

Gasping at his bold claim, "Sunwoo, Younghoon is right down the hall, if he hears any of this, he'll kill-"

"No he won't, and enough of the sibling talk, it's throwing me off"

"You're insane", smacking your lips along with an eye roll, but his lips feel so good on your skin, it was impossible to hold any ounce of annoyance for long. Aware of what could go wrong, you bring your hand to the back of his head, threading your fingers through his beautiful locks. And you feel the twitch of his lips when he smiles against your skin, "insane for you".

When you start rolling your body below him, you can feel his hardness with every roll and a shiver from him paired with hearing him groan. His grip becomes tighter at your jaw and he smashes your lips with his. Messily and desperate. Sunwoo was devouring you and with his body pushing harder against yours, you mewl into his lips. His perfect mouth invading you and making you feel all sorts of things along with his body pressing against you. And you couldn't help but pull so tight on his hair pushing him in, because more, more, and more.

This house was built with such thin walls, you can only pray that none of this can be heard.

It's merely just making out coupled with excessive tongue and fondling, it shouldn't have possibly dizzied your mind so much to the point you didn't feel his other hand snake up the only clothing item keeping him from having more access. Only able to cup one breast squeezing he grows impatient and pulls away from you and removes your sweater, pulling your body up and messing up your hair in the process. A familiar feeling climbs up through your body when you're welcomed with the hunger behind his eyes. Something shakes you on the inside as you get pushed back on the bed roughly and he reclaims your lips. And traveling every where, lips never not connected to skin, "I love you, I love you, I fucking love you"

He can say it a million more times, and you'd never get used to it.

Well aware of it though, you know he loves you. Never doubted it. One thing comes to your mind, when you hear his 'I love you' mantras. It means that he either did something foolishly stupid or you're going to have the life fucked out of me. Let's go ahead and go with the last.

You feel wetness, and teeth over your nipple. He gives both your breasts love, and he looks up- nose deep in between the valley of your breasts while groping them, only to find you sighing with the crown of your head buried deep into the pillows.

"Sunwoo-", you breathe out.

"hm?" still playing with your breasts.

"touch me"

The corners of his lips twitch into a grin and he happily undoes the tie of your shorts. Slipping his hand in and touching over your panties. "staining your panties already?" Not sure if it's possible, but you may have gotten wetter from that question alone. You writhe and whine under him to touch you already. He chuckles, and not too long after he slips your shorts down along with that thin soaking fabric.

Sunwoo doesn't give you a chance to spread your legs voluntarily, because he forcefully does it for you. He's practically drooling at the sight of your soaking core. Connecting your lips with his again, "oh you're such a slut". You can't help but smile against his lips, taking his free wrist in your hand, guiding it all the way down your body till it's in between your legs, touching you where you need him most. Immediately, your whole body tenses up at the contact of his fingers. "Such a slut", chuckling on your lips. Then he draws slow circles on your clit, and intense jolts fly through you causing you to buck your hips

Sunwoo slips a finger in you and you almost can't take it, you press further into his lips to dampen your noises. It's only fingering, but he's doing it to the point where you forgot how to breathe. Shaky and weak you can't kiss back, you opt for biting your lip and you're certain that blood is being drawn. As he continues to fuck you with his fingers, you scrabble for the comforter and you fist. You fist hard.

Sunwoo has his attention divided perfectly. His eyes glued to your face, while his fingers fuck his girl. His girl that's bout to lose her marbles. "Sunwoo, please I-"

And he was quick with his actions, stripping everything frantically, and the next thing you knew, he was in between your legs, ready to take you. And your body was ready. Focus way too pointed on his body, his honey like skin, and throbbing shaft, precum slicked red tip, oh so ready for that, you didn't notice his gaze. Like he couldn't wait to destroy you to smithereens, you couldn't help but to bite your lips seductively at him, "cmon then, all talk? do what you wanted...fuck me"

A growl. A delirious growl rips through him and he finds your aching entrance and pushes into you all the way, eliciting a yelp.

"oh godd-", he begins push into you more if that was possible, then pulling out all the way, only to slam back in, and you scream at the contact of his pelvis slamming into yours.

Voice sounding hushed, "Fuck, fuck, fuck" with every word, he pounds into you and you're trembling beneath him. His palm finds your waist and lifts you to snake his arm under, lifting your hips. This angle, oh god. He's hitting the spot so perfectly a sob catches in your throat and you have to clamp your mouth shut. You swore you felt the rolling heat all throughout your body.

Pulling you to meet each thrust, your mewls get louder and you hide your face into the pillow. "Sun-" Thrust. "su-" Thrust. Your hands search around till it finds his arms and you dig your nails into them. You can barely pull out a word, because of how fast he's going. Sunwoo finds it so outrageously cute when you dig your face into the pillows. "princess can't take it?" Cooing like he's some innocent, but his thrusts say otherwise.

He scoots your body up the mattress with his and you open your eyes, he lets go so that your lower back meets with the mattress again and he rests one hand on the wall above.

Fuck, he's so hot right now.

He gives you a grin, and your heart leaps out of your chest. His smile. Practically your favorite thing about him. Every single time he smiled at you this way, your heart would find a rate probably at a thousand bpm and your brain would melt.

Using the wall as leverage, he grips your waist and pounds into you harder. You moan louder and he warns down with a smug look. Smirk growing on his face as he shakes his head slowly down at you, shushing you all the while pushing and pulling in you. Lowering his face and attaching his lips to your ear, "god you're such a slut" and your moans turned mewls pitches up a notch, "my slutty princess" and that makes you melt.

He pulls away enough that his face is just above yours, while he carries on fucking you into oblivion. It doesn't take much more than a few more thrusts. Mouth gaped open, he gives you an amused look. "Come, princess" Of course he would know. Squeezing your eyes shut, you let your orgasm devour you, as he devours you. His name leaving your lips in and shaking and trembling till you're stilled and heaving.

He pulls out of your aching core, and you think you're done. But his hands finds your hips and flips you till your knees and hands land on the mattress. A choked groan comes out of you when he enters you again shoving your upper body down. Quick and easy from all your wetness.

Sunwoo bends down till his he's at your ear, "baby, if you keep screaming like that, your brother is going to hear.." he pauses, "and I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop if he comes knocking" A cry mixed with a mewl comes out of me. So much for no sibling talk.

"now," he pulls back up, "im going to fuck you" he sharply thrusts, "like the little slut you are". Before you manage to do anything, he starts to shove and thrust and pummel into your sore core, brutally and at full tilt, like it's the last chance he's ever gonna get.

He pushes your head down in the mattress with his hand and the sound of his hips smacking against yours echoes throughout the room. "Sunwoo pl-please-", crying and pleading into the mattress.

"come" he demands, and actual tears are rolling out your eyes. Once again, an orgasm ripples through you. Soaring and felt to the tips of your toes. Sunwoo comes as well, pulling out of you slowly. Gawking at the sight of his cum flowing out of you, he gathers his cum with his tip and fucks it back into you with a harsh thrust. A small yelp out of you and he slows his hips to a steady roll, pushing your hips down to the mattress. He gathers your hair to one side whispering into your ear, "atta girl. shh...thats it". At this point, you think you're seeing stars pasted in your eyelids.

The aftermath of the orgasm is pulling you under when he pulls out to lay beside you. Having went through not one but two intense mind blowing orgasms, you're ready to call it a day.

He pulls you closer to him curling up into him, with a cute little closed lip smile. And he adjusts your hair till it's out of your face, "you're okay right?" The only thing you hear is a faint ringing, and that only happens after a monstrous orgasm. But, "more than okay".

He kisses your temple and begins to snuggle comfortably into bed, but you tell him to clean up and go get dressed.

"What?"

"You", taking a deep breath, "have to go hang out with Younghoon"

"are you serious?" A confused look is dawned on Sunwoo's face, but your eyes aren't even open to tell, his tone tells it all. "I just fucked the shit out of you, and you're limp and lifeless, and you're telling me to go hang out with your brother?!"

"Yes, go"

He seems to weigh his options, looking at the door back to you, and he lands on one, "Fine, but I'll see you soon"

"mhm go," Tired enough, you don't even lift your face off the pillow to say bye (let alone wish him goodluck).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"sup man"

Younghoon is seated where he can see who enters his room, he only glances at Sunwoo, and looks away just as fast with only mild anger.

Sunwoo acknowledges the glance as a come in and closes the door taking a seat next to Younghoon on the sofa.

It's silent for a while, as Younghoon gives all of his attention to the league of legends game. And Sunwoo shifts his eyes from the screen to Younghoon, staring attentively and confused.

"Look, if you're gonna" a shudder ruptures through Younghoon, "do that with my sister, at least give me a heads up"

It takes a second for Sunwoo to register what he just said, before snickering. Younghoon glares at Sunwoo, "dude" placing his hand out offended. "I literally had to search through my room for earplugs, which unfortunately don't work that well" He pops the ear plugs out his ears and throws them on the table.

"Younghoon, your sister is an adult you know that right?"

"No she's like 16" returning to his game pressing on his controller.

"Dude she's the same age as me"

Pausing he looks over at Sunwoo, "how old are you again?"

"22"

Younghoon purses his lips, "oh.....but still thats my little sister" He hands Sunwoo a controller and they start playing the game that was promised.

Through out the game, Younghoon looks over his shoulder finding his best friend focused on something other than the game. He sighs before saying, "go, I'll see you another day"

Quick at his feet, Sunwoo turns to Younghoon, "you are the best brother-in-law ever" and dashes out.

Younghoon scoffs at his title, "wait, do I have to wear earplugs again?"

"No!" He can hear Sunwoo down the hallway.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You feel movement on the bed and find a fluffy dark headed boy in your arms, "hi princess"

Stirring in your sleep, you don't even bother opening your eyes due to the grogginess and only smile to where you think his face is at, "what are you doing back", curling into his embrace.

"I told you I'd see you soon"

#─ 𖥻 dear diary: h3’$ m1n3 !!!

1K notes · View notes

wickedloving · 2 years

Text

nine to five

pairing: jimin x reader

wordcount: 9k

glimpse: dr. park jimin's unbreakable when it comes to skill, dedication, and work ethic; meanwhile, you jump between part-time jobs for the fun of it. he's just trying his best to look out for you — too bad he sucks at it. (spin-off to take five!)

alternatively, you're friends with benefits with jimin and you always kiss him on the cheek before he leaves — but one day you stop.

[ mutual pining, 30% angst (there is Redemption I Swear), smut, fluff n wholesomeness, jimin's rude + out of touch towards ppl outside of his tax bracket for a hot minute, minor injuries (dog bites n scratches, bruises, blood, etc.) sustained from part-time jobs ]

notes: inspired by workman on youtube!! you don't necessarily have to watch it in order to read this <3 a lot of people told me they started watching hospital playlist after reading take five, so i'm doing the same with this to try and convert u into my emotional clutch shows agenda :D also a reminder that i am in no way making fun of any of the jobs mentioned below!!

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :)

It's not easy to throw Jimin off.

Simply to say, his tolerance is as good as boundless. He just continuously endures and although it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s passive, he just chooses to let things slide. He, of all people, would know that constantly furrowing your brows speeds up one’s wrinkling process. It’s not like Jimin doesn’t care enough — it’s just that he’s almost always unfazed.

He remains calm and doesn’t yell any louder than necessary when he’s dragged into haunted houses and escape rooms. If he was being blunt, he’d say that anyone who willingly puts themselves through it and scream bloody murder, must have never learned about the concept of cause and effect. You pay to get scared and in turn would go through the experience, and you still have the nerve to be surprised about it?

Tiny internal rant aside, Jimin is still calm.

He's patient with pranks and laughs it off, no matter how impractical they could be. It’s as impractical as his parents spending two hours in the crack of dawn to fill up his room with balloons on his 15th birthday, and it is a little lame, but Jimin isn’t heartless — of course he wakes up laughing! The little stretches of his genuine laughter outweighs his knowledge that he had been hearing latex squeaking since two hours ago.

All throughout their medical careers, if Dr. Min is known to be patient, then Dr. Park is known to be a saint. He was the junior that every senior wanted to tuck under their wing, and the senior that every junior wanted to bag with them. There was a time in their fellowship when Yoongi kept replacing Jimin's stethoscope with a toy version of it right when he was about to do rounds, for a whole week, and the most reaction he got was a flick to the forehead at the end (read: surrender) of his prank.

Jimin’s just so unbothered to the point that it’s unnerving.

He’s not exactly clueless with the way that the people in his life still strive to throw him curveballs; in fact, it’s amusing.

Was it annoying that Yoongi moved every piece of furniture in the clinic two inches to the right to try and grit at his co-owner’s gears? Yeah. Was it fulfilling to pretend that he didn’t keep bumping his hip into table corners and mess up his depth perception, just for the sake of frustrating Yoongi? Completely.

Sure, it did tick his nerves a little when Hoseok kept paging him into the lobby, only for the receptionist to tell him that he didn’t call his name. It must have went for only ten times, and the only reason Jimin went for the previous nine was because he wanted to save face! What would the dozens of clients in the lobby think when their doctor doesn’t come when asked for?

Yoongi is far from giving up.

Hoseok is long done.

The latter is what completely confuses Jimin.

Jimin had never been caught off-guard this badly and when it happened, he tried to reel himself in the moment he came back to his car.

It's when he's getting dressed to leave after the best, most fulfilling, and only sex he's had in a long while, making conversation with you while he makes himself coffee to drink while driving back home.

Jimin thought that since you’re Hoseok’s friend, he must’ve put you to the task. It’s not that far off to think that for the three months you’ve been fucking, all of it was his friend’s plan to throw him out of his rhythm.

What’s more confusing, is that he’s beyond certain that what you did was sincerely done out of your own accord. No one dear to him could faze him to this extent.

But you? You throw Jimin off.

You do it in such a genuine yet nonchalant way that Jimin thinks he must’ve conjured the whole scenario in his head at one point.

It’s surreal to think about because you lean into him with ease, a gentle hold on his forearm as if he just didn’t blow your back out minutes ago.

All of his senses shut down and the remaining control he has left is all used into squeaking a goodbye, speed-walking out of your door and holding his breath until he reaches his car.

He’s far from calm and he’s the furthest thing from collected. There’s no reasonable explanation to anything that happened in the last two minutes, and that’s as far as his mind could go.

You kissed Jimin on the cheek.

( ♡ )

Did Jimin lose sleep over you kissing him on the cheek? Without a doubt. He’s been jumpy since this morning and it’s beginning to startle everyone in the clinic — everyone.

Awhile ago, Yoongi was being observant and good-natured as usual that naturally, he tried pointing out to Jimin that he sees a pimple forming on his cheek. He only poked it for the sake of locating it, and he was just about to offer treating it for him, when Jimin jumped two feet away from him the moment his cheek (the one you kissed) was touched.

True enough, there is a pimple forming and with abrupt agreements, Jimin told Yoongi to do his magic with it the moment he gets a break. He did wear a mask to try and avoid unnecessary attention, but of course someone just had to startle him even more.

“Ah, you look sleazy with that mask on. Kisses? Really?” Hoseok squints his eyes, unaware of the way Jimin’s eyes bulge in panic. All he cares about is sitting on the comfiest chair in the breakroom and eating his lunch, but that plan’s steadily bound to be overthrown.

He’s pointing to the pattern of kisses on his face mask, a spare stock of what all the staff wore back for valentine’s day. Hoseok knows that he’s pertaining to the design, but Jimin clearly doesn’t.

“Y-you know?” he mutters under his breath, caught breathless in a situation he’s unsure to whether or not it favors him. At his surprise, Hoseok has an inkling that they’re not on the same wavelength at the moment.

Not at all.

“What do I know?” Hoseok tilts his head, still grasping at nothing with how Jimin’s now doubting him.

“Are you faking?” Jimin counters, swallowing the lump on his throat. They’re literally going nowhere and he wants to get somewhere at least before the day ends, atleast starting off with someone who knows you better than him. “Listen, what if we both say what we think we’re talking about at the same time?”

It’s a half-baked idea but Hoseok just shrugs it off, saying the first thing that came to his mind the moment Jimin started counting down.

“Aren’t we talking about your pimple?”

“You know that Y/N kissed me?”

Hoseok groans in annoyance at the instance the words leave his friend, putting his head on his hands to try and shrug the image off his brain.

Sure, he has an inkling that the two of you looked at each other a little too suggestively for your first meeting. He introduced you to Jimin when you came into the clinic bearing his homemade birthday lunch (one that you’ve been making yearly for him the past five years), and it’s not like he regrets introducing you! Both you and Jimin are good people; he just didn’t want to know too much information.

"Gross. Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear about your sex life with my friend."

"But she kissed me," Jimin half-whispers and half-whines, gripping into Hoseok’s arm as if it was his lifeline. The receptionist doesn’t budge him off, but his furrowed brows are telling enough that he wants the conversation to be over soon.

"Okay...? What do you want me to say to that?"

Jimin grows exasperated, tempted to throw a tantrum as he runs his hand through his hair.

"Hoseok, I meant she kissed me in like, a lover way and not a friends-with-benefits type of way!"

There’s obviously too much information being shared with yours and Jimin’s mutual friend, and mutual friend does not like it, but said mutual friend now knows too much to the point that he’s invested.

Hoseok pauses his eating, blinking slowly with no malice peeking from his tone.

"But don't you like Y/N in a lover way?"

Jimin’s not mad that Hoseok’s caught on to him this quickly, the emotion isn’t even in his vocabulary when it comes to you. It’s just that he’s torn and confused and wary — all the other three feelings that he despises going through.

"Yeah but like not completely, y’know? I still said I was unsure if I really do have those feelings for her," he admits with a shake of his head, his cheeks puffing in a sigh out of recollection about what he was really discussing. “A cheek kiss! She kissed me on the cheek before I went out of the door."

"Again, Jimin," his friend rolls his eyes, setting down his chopsticks after a large bite because he knows the younger won’t stop talking anytime soon. "What do you want me to say?"

Jimin quirks his lips to the side, looking down on his lap. What does he want Hoseok, a friend to you first and a friend to him second, to say? He doesn’t necessarily know if he wants him to hyper-analyze your actions. He can’t tell if he wants advice. He’s unsure if he wants to be reassured.

He goes with the first question that pops into his head, no matter how blunt it sounds.

"Don't you find it weird? Who kisses the guy they fuck on the cheek after sex?"

Now that he phrases it that way, Hoseok sighs deeply, shaking his head in passing. Quite frankly, even he doesn’t know what to say to that.

"Dunno. Never happened to me before," he shrugs his shoulders, waving his hand off to further prove his upcoming input. "Calm down. It's probably nothing."

"But it's something!" Jimin rebutts, eyes widening now that he realizes that the reassurance he wanted to hear does not comfort him at all.

"Well now you sound like you want it to be something,” Hoseok snorts, electively humming to provide background music to Jimin’s mini meltdown.

"Why would she kiss me on the cheek?"

"Eh. She kisses me on the cheek too,” he says as a matter of fact, thinking that the tidbit of information is gonna help calm his friend’s nerves down and stronghold him into letting him eat without interruption.

Jimin narrows his eyes, a quiet scoff leaving his lips as he crosses his arms.

"Why would she kiss you on the cheek?"

"Now you're just jealous."

Hoseok stares Jimin down and the look of emotional constipation on the latter’s face makes him hiccup, making the former chuckle while raising his hands in surrender.

"God, I don't know! Friends can kiss each other on the cheek, Y/N's affectionate like that. Don't think too much of it."

Right. Of course Hoseok’s right!

Friends kiss each other on the cheek all the time and it just so happens that your love language is physical touch and affection. It all just happens to be and you don’t actively make it happen.

That’s probably the answer that Jimin of five minutes ago would’ve wanted to hear, but the Jimin of now is unsatisfied, the plausible explanation still not tickling his brain in the way he thought it would.

Just as if on cue, Yoongi enters the room, audibly gasping at the sight.

"Ugh. Breakroom gossip without me?!" he whines, pouting at the door in irritation.

"Yoongi! Finally. I need your opinion on this one," Jimin beckons him over and Yoongi doesn’t waste a single second, immediately replacing Hoseok in the throne of his comfortable chair.

"Good. You deal with him," Hoseok mutters, but not before swiping Yoongi’s coffee on the way out.

Jimin clears his throat to repeat his previous narration, instantly getting a wince not even two sentences into his recollection.

"Do I really need to know about your sex life?"

"You don't need to but of course, you just have to be sulky when you're left out with breakroom gossip, don't you?" he rolls his eyes, his coat sleeve being tugged in franticness when he pretends to stand up.

Yoongi straightens his posture, giggling whilst shaking his head.

"Kidding, kidding. Don't leave me out ever again," his voice deepens, leaning closer with knitted eyebrows to hear the gossip he sensed that’s been brewing since this morning. "I'm listening."

( ♡ )

Yoongi is not the devil’s advocate.

However, he is an occasional asshole that really just wants to get on Jimin’s nerves every once in a while.

He cares about his friend’s feelings, he really does, but Yoongi thinks that Jimin just really isn’t looking at his problem in the right way. His girlfriend would call him out for meddling but really, all that he’s doing is merely teasing — a tiny bit of teasing won’t hurt, especially if he knows it would launch Jimin into a different yet positive spiral (but it’s still a spiral nonetheless).

“What if it was a cheek kiss out of pity?”

Now in hindsight, maybe that wasn’t Yoongi’s brightest idea up to date.

He said the words playfully and yet Jimin sits shocked as if he cussed his family tree out, mouth slightly part open at the syllables that keep ringing in his head. What’s worse is that he misinterprets the shock as amusement, going much further this time.

“Kinda like a participation certificate, y’know? A thanks for showing up badge.”

Out. Of. Pity.

“I’m just uh, I- well would you look at the time? Lunch break’s over,” Yoongi awkwardly excuses himself, looking at his bare wrist that’s not even adorned by a watch today. The look of distress is just too overwhelming on Jimin’s features that it makes him squirm, too preoccupied in giving him space that he doesn’t fully realize that it’s perhaps the first time he’s seen him in such disarray.

He breezes through his schedule for the day and honestly speaking, he wasn’t even paying half the attention he usually would to his clients. Barely engaged in small talk and if that wasn’t enough, he also managed to call a client (or two) the wrong name.

It was an indelible loop that keeps playing in his ear, the buzzing so obnoxious that he physically has to shake his head to block it out.

Did he not satisfy you enough?

Jimin, against probable and rational judgement, calls if he can come over — not to talk, but to rather prove himself instead.

You look beat as soon as you come home to your apartment, fatigued eyes widening in surprise to see that Jimin, against patience and virtue, really did take your offer of letting him in with a spare keycard.

You told him you would be coming home late awhile ago and he hummed in recognition. By late, you meant an-hour-overtime late and not the usual fifteen minutes that you’d warn him about.

Jimin’s been waiting for you in your own home for an hour straight.

It’s odd, to say the least. The whole context is weird but what’s even more weird is that you’re not surprised at all to see that true to his word, he waited for you patiently. There’s not a single thing out of place — the only space being occupied being your couch, and particularly in that specific spot he always sits on.

Jimin’s sneakers are placed next to yours on your shoe rack. His car keys are placed on your counter, in the same tray you’d also put yours in. He’s wearing the sweatpants he’d wear inside his own place.

Jimin looks like he belongs to your home and in all honesty, you don’t hate one bit of it.

“Hiii.”

You drawl in recognition as soon as you enter your front door, immediately padding towards Jimin while he smiles at the sight of you. He doesn’t even know that an hour has passed already since he let himself inside your apartment, and he isn’t even aware that not once did he look at the time in impatience.

“Tired, baby?” he asks gently, humming as he puts his hand on your lower back out of instinct, a chuckle involuntarily leaving him when you decided to sit on his lap.

It isn’t even sexual to begin with. You sit on his lap because you’re tired and he’s warm and in the little time you decided to initiate skinship with him, you melt.

Jimin feels you get comfortable in his lap and he has no qualms in bundling you in his arms, hugging you as he realizes it belatedly.

He doesn’t hate one bit of your warmth.

“Mhmm. Lifting candy makes you so tired,” you murmur to his neck, trying to fight away the sleep that’s weighing down on your eyelids. You try to fight it by realizing that you’re dirty from being outside and you need to take a shower before heading to bed, but the lingering scent of Jimin’s perfume on his neck says you don’t necessarily need to break from his grasp now.

“Candy? I thought you worked in sports,” his eyebrows knit in confusion, turning his head to look at you to confirm his knowledge, but you’re just so close that all he sees is your cheek; so close to the point that the tip of his nose nudges it.

You hum in response, unabashedly nudging your head closer to Jimin’s neck to breathe in his scent that calmed you to no end. “The court cleaner gig? Ah. That was from a week ago.”

He blinks earnestly, pausing from looking at you to look at your framed certificate on the console across the room.

“Didn’t you graduate with a double major in finance and accounting?” he knows the information to heart because it was the first thing he learned about you from Hoseok, so he doesn’t know why he looked at your certificate.

Actually, Jimin doesn’t even know why he’s so curious about it, because the last time he checked, he came here to disprove his insecurities and prove himself to you — even if you know nothing of the matter. “Never mind that. Are you sore, hmm?”

“Very,” you wince at the reminder that the entirety of your arms are aching, the sensation reminding you why you even accepted Jimin’s meek question if he could come over.

“Jimin,” you mumble and he perks up attentively, using everything in your strength to will yourself at prying your face away from his neck just so you could deliver your request sincerely. “Fuck me to a good night’s sleep, please.”

He buffers.

He buffers for one, two seconds — and it doesn’t help that you go back to nuzzling into him as if you didn’t ask of him to basically fuck you into next week.

In fact, Jimin even forgets that he’s here for that exact reason. He thought that he was here to be your furnace as you sit on his lap because you’re spent from lifting candy all day, but he’s obviously not opposed doing the other, first-most reason.

He chuckles at your choice of words now that it really sinks into him, feeling you peek one eye open with a faux mocking look.

“Can you do all the work?”

“Can I do all the work?” he lilts his voice and it’s enough to know that he’ll deliver on your request, a content smile forming on your face the moment you feel his hands roaming to undress you.

Jimin chooses not to move you because it’s clear to him that you already have a favorite spot at the moment (on his lap regardless if he’s naked or not), and just makes the reminder to carry you back to bed once you’ve finished.

“Up,” he lifts you by your thighs, taking off both your pants and your underwear in a few swift motions. He feels your sigh elongate in contentment because you return to his warmth once he sets you back down, immediately making quick work of massaging your thighs from standing up all day. “How many hours do you sleep?”

“A minimum of eight if I sleep late on the weekends.”

Jimin can’t help but to chuckle at your prompt answer, shifting his thumb closer to your heat when you hum to his ear. He finds you moving yourself closer to his hand that’s removing his sweatpants, flattered enough that he doesn’t even try to lift you a little so he could undress himself easier.

“It’s only nine in the evening.”

He finally acknowledges the time on the clock behind you but you don’t even follow his gaze, simply just groaning and making an off-hand comment that the candy industry is just not for you.

“What time do you want to wake up tomorrow?”

Jimin nudges you by your thighs again to shift, this time to put his straining cock in you. It’s merely an innocent question at first glance, even if he grunts the second you put all your eagerness into sinking down on him slowly to savor the stretch.

He’s amused with the way you chuckle with your chest even if he’s already cock-deep inside you. It isn’t in his routine to you know, normally talk and make conversation while he fucks! It throws him off his distraction so for any other occasion, Jimin just resorts to showing his presence by letting out absentminded grunts while chasing his climax.

The two of you are exclusively fucking, by the way.

It’s all just so casual and easygoing with you that even if you’re half-asleep and wholly turned on at the moment, Jimin finds no real rush.

“I wanna say one in the afternoon, maybe?”

He clicks his tongue, audibly groaning to look down where the two of you meet. Nobody takes him as well as you do and Jimin really can’t be willed to test that fact with anyone else.

“1 PM on a Saturday?” he repeats for clarification, grunting when your pussy clenches around him, your core already done with adjusting to his.

He gets a first shallow thrust up into you, the position burying him into you deeper than he normally could. You feel so good that it makes his bottom lip quiver, ripping away a shaky moan from his throat.

“Yeah, no problem. I can fuck you good enough tonight to knock you out until tomorrow noon.”

True to his word, Jimin fucks you good — more than good. He thrusts into you slowly and deeply while he holds you just as tightly, kissing your lips more than he ever did before and it's all too euphoric.

Maybe the question all along wasn't about if he satisfied you enough.

Maybe it's about if he appreciated you sufficiently.

Jimin carries you to your bed and cleans you up, going the extra mile to tuck you in with pillows on either side of you. He fills up the bottle on your bedside table with cold water so it wouldn't be room temperature by the time you wake up tomorrow. He arranges his house slippers next to yours, preparing to tell you good night when you beat him into asking.

“Driving home tonight?” you ask even if you already know the answer, no hint of malice in your tone.

“Yeah. Early morning tomorrow." He's apologetic but he just doesn’t know why. He never apologized before for leaving, because after all that's what friends with benefits do, but the reminder of the status doesn't calm him like he expected it would.

Jimin looks lost and you don't know why, and you want to know why, but your head is just too fuzzy to bring it up and you figure that no one likes an existential question after a head-splitting climax — so you reserve the question for next time.

“Come here.”

You beckon him over because you’re clearly too tired to stand up, and for a second, you don't even know why you ask him to do so.

Jimin doesn't know why he complies either, but he does it nonetheless.

You kiss him on the cheek, again.

“Drive safe.”

Jimin tenses up, an involuntary squeak leaving his lips that you mistaken it for words you can't even place just because with how blurry your mind is, taking it as his goodbye for you instead.

“If I wake up even a minute earlier than one in the afternoon tomorrow, I’m blocking your number.”

He breathlessly laughs, holding on to your side table for support. You've already closed your eyes even before he can leave your room, the belated realization that you kissed him on the cheek after sex, again, making him clutch at his hair.

You wake up the next day at 2:03 in the afternoon.

Jimin barely got any sleep throughout the night.

( ♡ )

One thing that Jimin can't do is be discreet.

He can't hide his nosiness when he's curious. He physically just can't keep it to himself no matter how small or big is the information intentionally withheld from him, considering that the ones closest to him know how inquisitive he could be.

Jimin particularly can't be discreet when he sees Hoseok at the next workday, only pretending to look at the logbook for a grand total of five (5) seconds before he caves in and rushes behind the receptionist booth to sit next to his friend.

“Where does Y/N work now?”

Hoseok sighs, having already foreseen Jimin's nosiness the moment he stepped foot into the clinic. He keeps his eyes at the monitor though, double-checking and organizing the booked appointments for today.

“She’s a window cleaner at Lotte at the moment.”

“The World Tower?" Jimin scrunches his nose, tilting his head because maybe the new angle would make him understand better. Hoseok wordlessly nods, making him shriek in surprise. "You mean the high-rise?!”

Jimin's too loud and the clinic hasn't even opened yet so there's no establishment music nor client chatter to act as buffers, the sound whole enough to make Hoseok wince.

He grunts, furrowing his brows because they both know they're on the same page but Jimin keeps skimming to the next one.

“Yes...? What windows do you want her to clean?”

“But she was making candy a week ago!” he stammers in reply, the confirmation coming from your best friend further plummeting him into disbelief.

Hoseok tuts, nodding understandingly. He surely remembers your candy job because he became your tester, remembering the taste of caramel that was too bland and watermelon candy that oddly enough, didn't taste like watermelon.

“Ah, yeah. That was last week though.”

Jimin's not hearing things. You did work as a part-time ball and mop cleaner for a basketball team last month, you did work as a candy maker last week, and now you do work as a window cleaner for a high-rise.

It throws him off-guard completely, his curiosity unable to be contained at this point.

“Why does she do this?” he blurts, face scrunched up in confusion. “Jump from one part-time job to another, I mean.”

The additional thought crosses his mind and Jimin really tries to reel himself in, the side comment slipping from his lips before he could notice. “Or if you could even call them jobs at this point.”

Hoseok clicks his tongue in distaste, rolling his eyes.

“Heard that.”

He's typing a little too loudly now and even Jimin notices it, meekly apologizing for the comment. He just waves him off, turning to the next spreadsheet at hand to keep himself occupied. “You want me to call her and ask that? The signal might be good on the 83rd floor.”

“Why’s Y/N like that?”

Jimin asks again this time but the genuine wonder is more evident this time compared to the condescension, making Hoseok indulge him begrudgingly.

“The cheek kisses or the career shifts?”

“I think you could hardly call them careers.”

“Jimin,” Hoseok scolds, his tone warning him to not cross the line any further than he's already doing.

He frowns, fiddling with his fingers but relenting later on. “I’m just being realistic, Hobi.”

“Shh. Don’t speak on it," he asserts. Hoseok finally stops what he's doing to give his undivided attention, spinning with his chair to face Jimin. "Y/N just loves doing the things that she wants, alright? Don’t ruin it for her.”

Your best friend did just say to Jimin to not ruin it for you, but maybe one last interjection won't hurt to point out. After this point, Jimin swears he'll shut his mouth.

“A cum laude. Double-major in finance and accounting. And your best friend’s cleaning windows on a high-rise!”

“And I’m proud of her,” Hoseok means sincerely but says nonchalantly, pursing his lips. “That job pays, by the way. Eight hours for three days and her wage is like, yours and Yoongi’s combined.”

Jimin, finally, shuts up.

He'd be the first to admit that knowing your new job at the moment, or even just knowing a somehow 555m high life update about you but doesn't come from you directly, makes him miss you more.

Getting the update from Hoseok may have made him take his phone out and text you, asking if you have any plans for lunch. Friends with benefits shouldn't ask the other to go to lunch together, and friends with benefits shouldn't agree when the other asks them for lunch.

Neither of you adhere to the supposed FWB etiquette.

At this point, maybe (and the two of you are well-aware now) you aren't just friends with benefits.

"Jimin! There you are. Jeez, I almost went dizzy out there."

You attach yourself to Jimin's side the moment you spot him, his face lighting up in recognition. He's been trying to locate you for the past two minutes assuming that you were wearing something from your closet that he's already familiar with, but of course, he forgot that you work here.

He locates you not a second later because of course, he wouldn't miss you who's wearing a neon orange jumpsuit and is jogging towards him.

Jimin bites his cheek and wraps his arm around your waist in greeting, the urge to do so being so natural that it feels like a second instinct.

He could've went to see you without lunch being involved but seeing that he used the latter as an excuse, Jimin brings you up to the café upstairs and orders for the both of you.

He only left you for a total of five minutes and the moment he comes back, there's a guy sitting on his seat. The guy with the red hair is probably familiar to him, judging by the way you're motioning to him slyly with a knowing smile, but Jimin is just too annoyed to play courtesies.

“Get out. Go search about enemas on your own and shit,” he mutters his remarks based on the tidbits he managed to overhear, tapping the back of his seat impatiently.

Jungkook, your friend, hurriedly gets up from the chair. He only sat in briefly because he's been sitting alone prior to your arrival and of good nature, and also because he wants to ask if your current part-time job has any more openings, he decides to make himself comfortable at the chair opposite to you.

Jimin, however, does not wait for Jungkook to leave before he talks about him to you directly. "Didn't you work with him in that café?"

“Did you mean éclairs?” Jungkook mutters, correcting the extremely different assumption of Jimin as to what he was talking about. Jimin clicks his tongue and groans audibly, making him equally as irritable to go out. “I’m going, I’m going! God, I’m completely harmless to your girlfriend, jeez!”

You freeze upon hearing, but the guy who's now in his rightful chair doesn't.

Jimin doesn't correct him.

( ♡ )

It's only a matter of time before something else entirely throws off Jimin.

He's no longer bothered about the cheek kisses, the gentle pecks on his skin unable to make him lose his sanity at this point in time. He came to accept that you just happened to love giving them to him, and although he could do something about it if he really wanted to, he chooses not to.

He came to accept that you're the only one, if not one of the few people who manage to throw him off his track without prior notice. It's not as if your life's goal was to get under his skin, but it feels like it.

No, Jimin doesn't hate the cheek kisses — he’s bothered about something else now.

Your part-time jobs.

It's been boggling his mind for months now. He didn't necessarily hate each job you've been willingly putting yourself in, but what he hates is that it's completely unnecessary. He'd understand jumping from one job to another if it's what pays the bills, but what he doesn't understand is you don't need to do these jobs at all.

In all fairness, even if you needed them to get through, you could just find part-time jobs that were normal in a sense that it didn't require you to look like a fool or risk your safety.

You simply just like making a fool of yourself and Jimin hates it.

He hates it especially like that time when you asked him out for dinner and you didn't show up, or atleast that's what he thinks of in the first ten minutes. Turns out you signed him up for a floating restaurant that's suspended 70 ft. into the air with a crane — and you showed up! You showed up, not to be his date, but to be a floating restaurant staff member.

Jimin remembers gritting his teeth when you secure his seatbelt and harness, all with an excited grin on your face and whispering "It's me, Y/N!" as if he couldn't pick you out in a sea of a thousand people.

He doesn't remember if he was gritting his teeth because he made the mistake of looking behind him and realizing that maybe he does have a fear of heights or if it was because the food he's been served looks undercooked. What he does remember is getting the fright of his life when you playfully pretend to trip over the edge, but it was all just part of a skit, and Jimin yelled out your name in panic for nothing.

Jimin hates your jobs especially like that time when you worked as a K-9 apprentice trainer. On the first day, your boss asked you to test out the prototype dog bite suit they were trying to patent, and as soon as the agitated Belgian Malinois comes charging after you, you could feel its teeth. Of course the bite neither broke your skin nor the suit, but what you and your boss didn't anticipate is the other German Shepherd who broke out of its cage to tackle you from behind.

It's a miracle that they immediately let go of you after some stern commands, but that didn't exactly mean you came out unscathed. There was one particular scratch on your calf that you think would scar, so you immediately come to the clinic where Hoseok works.

Sure, he was the receptionist for Serendipity Aesthetics but that doesn't mean he's batshit clueless when it comes to the products they carry. Hoseok's clearly intrigued to see you drop in his workplace all of a sudden, but he's even more baffled when you reveal the story and the accompanying marks to it.

Without a word, he tells you he'll take you to the inventory where they keep all their products, but turns out he takes you straight into Jimin's clinic.

He doesn't ask, doesn't even talk, as he cleans up your injuries. You didn't ask him to do that for you, but you don't want to tell him to stop either because for some reason, Jimin looks mad at you. The whole time that he aids you, his jaw is clenched and his grip on you is firm, not making eye contact with you once.

Jimin hates your affinity for taking ridiculous part-time jobs especially like that time when you part-timed as a diving guide. There was a special opportunity for clients in your program wherein an hour prior to their dive, you would hide special gold coins for them to hunt and later exchange for prizes.

You were doing just that in your full-body scuba suit, and Jimin just happened to meet you by chance because he didn't know you would be on the beach at the same time as him. What he didn't expect to happen was to see you and realize that you're wincing out of pain because a fucking jellyfish had stung the bare portion of your skin that was showing.

You were frantically asking him to pee on you because you've heard that it's effective in taking the sting out, and you haven't actually tried that for yourself, but Jimin is just so panicked that he actually considers doing it until your head instructor finally finds you.

No, the jellyfish sting on you isn't fatal.

No, the peeing-on-a-jellyfish-sting myth is pure bullshit.

Yes, Jimin actually feels like passing out from the whole ordeal.

Everything is just too ridiculous that Jimin can't handle seeing you in this state. You said explicitly to him that you were having fun but he isn't.

There's nothing fun seeing you go about your part-time jobs like they're children's cartoons who promoted nothing but risky behavior without a glimpse of dire consequences. There's nothing entertaining seeing you have fun despite knowing the risks.

It's like you weren't even concerned for your safety. All you're after is your enjoyment and the next big thing that would make your heart race.

Even now, Jimin feels like you can't take him seriously because the bruise on your elbow says so. A bruise you obtained from your part-time aquarium job because you tripped over a fucking penguin, from running away from another penguin who was trying to attack you.

“Get a grip, Y/N! Can’t you just for once in your life do something mundane? Something boring? Something that I don’t know, pays your bills without having to make a fool out of yourself?!”

“I like what I do, Jimin.”

You whisper in reply but you don't even know why you're whispering out of shame. No one had particularly called you out before, because everyone dear to you supports you — from your parents, to Hoseok, and to even previous co-workers who cheer you on.

Everyone dear to you loves seeing you do what you want to do — everyone except Jimin.

“For god’s sake, you were grooming sheep two months ago! Then a week after that, you were making soap and massaging people’s hands! Hell, even this month you’re working in that aquarium! You put on a scuba suit, wipe the glass, and for what? To swim with some fucking shrimp and shit like that?”

He's only been angry with you once, atleast what you know of, but it's now that you don't like Jimin the most. Perhaps you took his little smiles and breathless chuckles as affirmations that he loves what you do. Perhaps if you just looked a little closer without the blind expectation that everyone tolerates you because you could be a little too much for some, maybe you could've seen that the smiles were grimaces and the chuckles were groans.

“Y/N, I’m saying this because I care about you,” he runs his hand through his hair, exhaling deeply to look at you in the eye. “But please just grow up. You’re only a few years younger than me but just– look! Look! You graduated the top of your class for a real degree. Please do something useful.”

Please do something useful.

Do something useful.

Now do you realize that you can’t keep grazing your elbows on repainting daycares and have your pants frayed from volunteering at animal pounds. You can't keep doing spontaneous jobs for the sake of them because in simple terms, they're just not useful.

Jimin's perhaps the smartest guy you know and if it comes from him, you know to believe him. Perhaps he's the smartest guy you know amongst everyone dearest to you because from all of them, he's the only one that ever spoke to you this way.

In this brutally honest, albeit painful, way.

“Okay," you nod definitively, swallowing the lump the lump in your throat. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I should do something normal.”

Jimin purses his lips in regret because now that you put it that way, it sounds more cutthroat and unforgiving.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I think you should get going,” you squeak, humming to yourself as you turn away from him, vaguely pointing to the door so he could see himself out. “You made a good point. I just need to be alone right now, try to get my shit together, y’know?”

Jimin really should've kept his mouth shut.

He should've heeded Hoseok's advice to not ruin it for you. But judging by the way you avoid his eyes and walk away from him, he knows he's already done that and more. He doesn't want to leave but you want him to leave, and if it's any consolation for you to help ease the pain he's caused, he'll do it this time. “Okay.”

He doesn't know why he's still expecting at this point, but Jimin feels heavy getting out of your door — without a kiss on his cheek, and with the knowledge that he had hurt you.

( ♡ )

Unsurprisingly, Jimin hasn’t heard from you in awhile.

It's been almost a month that he hasn't seen you. He had apologized numerous times over text, to which you only reacted to with an emoticon but didn't reply to, and that was it. He felt uncomfortable to ask to see you in-person because even he is ashamed of himself, mad at himself if in case his presence reminds you of his words.

Yoongi's pissed at him because Jimin definitely does not have a say in what you do and what you love, especially considering that he isn't your boyfriend, regardless if your feelings for each other were requited.

Hoseok’s angry at him. Not you-just-hurt-my-best-friend angry, but "not only did you hurt my best friend but you also changed the trajectory of her life, possibly for the worst, even if she didn't ask you to" angry.

Jimin's also furious at himself for the most part. He was selfish and projected his own frustrations to you because perhaps there was a tiny little part of him that envied you.

The tiny little green part of him that envies just how much happy you are even if you earn much less than him. He likes his job and he likes his salary, don't get him wrong, but no matter how shallow he sounds when he admits it — doing the same stable thing felt like a routine more than it was a passion.

You're carefree and Jimin isn't and it's wrong for him to hate that. He loves his job and he hates that he just had to make you miserable by grounding you only to your degree. He hates himself for saying that neither of the things you've done are useful because he subjected you as comparison.

He risks it ultimately when one day he texts and asks to come over. He didn't know if you would be mad at him and terminate your communication completely because after all, he still has the gall to ask you that despite the things he did.

He didn't know what to feel when you reply in less than an hour and tell him to just let himself in with the keycard you’ve left at his place accidentally, because you’ll be running a little late.

It's all too familiar because this has already happened before.

He wishes that it's familiar.

When you come home and he's waiting for you on your couch, he didn't know how to react seeing you look so manufactured.

You're as beautiful as always even if you're in a corporate suit, from a pink button-up to a leather pencil skirt to a pair of high heels.

You're you and you recognize yourself more than he does, but to him, you look off. The version that stands in front of him is unlike you; you’re not wearing overalls or chicken shop uniforms or wearing anything that resembles you.

“What’s with the get-up?”

It takes a few seconds for the question to buffer in your brain, a genuine laugh leaving your lips as you shrug off your heels.

“I work in stocks now,” you clear your throat, adding to the silence when Jimin remains still. "I'm the top fund manager in my company. Yay."

Your anger for Jimin has already passed which is why you didn't hesitate letting him wait for you in your apartment. Sure, the anger did pass but the ghost of it remains.

You're thankful that he gave you a fresh new perspective, but you just wish he could've done it a little more gently. Delivered the take a little more coddling. You wish he gave you a little more time for you to come to your senses by yourself.

“I’m sorry for everything I said,” Jimin speaks thickly into the air, the gravity of his previous words now just singeing a little worse. “You shouldn’t have to change. You were happy doing what you love the most and I gave you shit for it.”

In your head you've already forgiven him. It was a new, brutal perspective he had given you out of sincere concern. Even if there's truth to his words and you've come to accept it, it didn't necessarily mean that he was solely on the right.

“I’m happy now,” you offer with a weak smile, shrugging your shoulders carelessly.

“I’m not as happy as I was, but I’m still happy now. Besides, I have like a ton of money now,” you add playfully, giggling to yourself. “I could pay my monthly rent and your clinic’s yearly lease and still have extra.”

Jimin tries to find it in him to laugh, the return of your giggles easing him a little, but it's just not the same.

He's not gonna try and take credit for your change, but he does know that he's a large variable. He's remorseful and the guilt still doesn't leave him even if you let him into your home, the thoughts playing out in his mind like clockwork.

He thought he hated your part-time jobs but now, he realizes that he remembers every single one. He remembers every single bit of them that you tell him, all from the quirks of your job to the flaws of it.

“But you’re not bottle-feeding baby goats," he murmurs, looking down on his lap. “You’re not in a ski resort wearing duck feet to make children look for you.”

Your resentment for Jimin for presenting you a realistic truth may have already passed, but he hasn't. He's still strongly, and irrevocably, angry at himself.

“Is this still you?”

You throw off Jimin in both the best and worst ways possible but nothing beats the relief you provide for him either, but he knows that for the time-being, he's not entirely deserving of the latter.

“Still me,” you nod, unable to keep the next words to yourself as it hits you once again. “Just a more rational, useful me.”

( ♡ )

You and Jimin don’t talk as much these days.

If you were to describe your current state, it would be steady. It’s not much, but it’s honest.

The two of you would be lying if you deny that your previous relationship was strictly in a friends with benefits state. You both knew and shown (he clearly did) just how concerned you are for each other, never skipping a beat.

It’s been weeks since he last dropped into your apartment to personally apologize and after a long, agonizing yet much-needed conversation, you weren’t even sure if the two of you would progress after basically calling off your previous status with each other.

Until Jimin shows at your doorstep at one in the morning, right before you go to sleep.

“Jimin? What are you doing here?”

He’s dressed up in formal wear, still complete with a boutonnière on the lapel of his suit jacket. His hair’s gelled back but it probably went through much action because now it looks a little unkempt, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol he had.

“I took home way too many brownies,” he blurts as if it would explain why he suddenly manifested at your front door at a godforsaken time, laughing at himself before clearing his throat. “I volunteered to be a wedding singer for my friend’s ceremony. He let me have the first pick at the reception buffet.”

“Cool. Thank you for these,” you chuckle at the suddenness of the situation, taking the silk-wrapped container from his hands. It’s heavy, really heavy, and it’s endearing to think how Jimin’s first thought was to give this much to you. “Huh. These are really... a lot, huh?”

“Yeah. I know you like experimenting,” he smiles, scratching behind his ear belatedly at the double meaning, “with flavors and things like that.”

He took atleast five of each flavor and the buffet table stretched long, ignoring the appalled looks from the servers behind the booths. He’s certain that he picked up enough food to last you for three meals a day, for atleast a week and a half.

Jimin looks at you while you look at him and he remembers, even if it’s never left his mind, that you’re his dreamboat. It’s not just the alcohol talking, but it’s his truth even before a single drop of liquor.

“I’m taking a one-month sabbatical.”

He pipes in, immediately getting a whistle from you because even at the dead of one in the morning, perhaps the two of you miss each other that you’re ready to talk about anything.

“One month? That’s huge.”

“Yup.”

The silence stretches and although it’s not comfortable, Jimin’s still thankful that he gets to spend it with you. The thing he wanted to talk to you about since this morning finally pops up, eyes widening in realization before he forgets.

“I’m part-timing as a water park attendant two days from now, by the way.”

You want to say you’re confused but the pieces fuse together before they even separate. Jimin takes a one-month sabbatical from his duties as a doctor and instead of resting, he’ll be using it to work.

He’ll be using it to work part-time jobs.

“Can I call you tomorrow for some advice?”

The smile appears in your face before you could even stop it. You’ve only tried part-timing as a diving instructor once, but atleast it’s in the aquatic industry somehow.

“I haven’t tried that job before.”

“We could try together,” Jimin offers, unable to resist a giddy smile that makes his eyes crescent. “Are you free tomorrow?”

Your mental calendar is long-checked by your mouth before you can even pretend to think about it, a chuckle leaving you in return. “I uh... I actually am.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” you parrot, eyes unblinking while you stare at Jimin. The two of you must have been staring at each other for a minute until you’re interrupted by the sound of your floor’s elevator dinging, snapping you both out of your dazes. “Drive safe.”

You’re sheepish as you bid him goodbye, cutting the interaction short even if you think it’s the perfect end to your night, or rather the start of your morning.

Jimin hums in acknowledgment but just before he goes, even if it’s the first of many, and hopefully the rest in a greater and better context than this is.

He’ll make it up to you somehow.

He stays rooted in his position and you don’t make a move to close your door either. You’re about to ask him if he’s fit to drive himself home but just before you do, you tense in the same way as he did before.

Jimin kisses your cheek.

#─ 𖥻 dear diary: h3’$ m1n3 !!!

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