whatyourusherthinks

[whatyourusherthinks]

Abigail Review

I was actually excited for this movie. The trailer was pretty cool. My work friends and I actually made plans to watch Abigail as soon as we could because of that fact. And the movie has aspects that I'm not usually big on, so that's pretty impressive.

What's The Movie About?

...I'm not going to tell you. If you can, you should go into this movie blind. Honestly, showing you the poster is already too much information. Just know it's a horror/thriller movie where the main characters are kidnappers, and watch it. That's my review in a nutshell.

I'm being serious. Stop reading this review and go see the movie if you think you might be interested. I'm going to spoil parts of the movie in the review because I have points I want to make.

What I Like.

Abigail is a gore-y good time. The first two-thirds are an intriguing mystery, and when everything is revealed, the finale is extreme and ridiculous. It's great. The acting is very good, I was especially impressed by Alisha Weir as the titular character. She had to do a lot and it was all very good. The effects as well were very good, especially the gore effects. Honestly, the only thing that would make it better if it was bright red like a Hammer Horror. (We had the Christopher Lee Dracula movie's trailer playing before the movie, so I have Hammer Horror on my mind.) The story itself, is pretty good as well. Mostly.

What I Didn't Like.

The movie is a great slow burn mystery, until it all get's revealed and then goes nuts. Fun time.

...

It's just a shame that the trailer SPOILS THE WHOLE MYSTERY. If you've seen the trailer, you know Abigail is a vampire. They don't reveal that in the movie until it's over halfway over. Really, you don't know anything supernatural is happening until the first third, maybe half of the movie has run. It would be a really fun mystery until that point as well. But if you've seen the promotion for the movie, you'll know exactly what's going on as soon as the first character dies. Hell, probably before that to be honest.

My only other complaint is almost the exact opposite of the first one honestly. If feels like the filmmakers tried to jam as many twists as they can in the final 20 minutes. Characters betray each other, motivations are revealed to be lies, and new characters suddenly show up for not really any reason. It's not as bad as something like Argylle, which just seems to flip-flop it's premise like 8 times. But it was bizarre and hard to follow at times.

Final Summation.

Honestly, Abigail is fun. Even if you are spoiled going in. I just wish I wasn't, I think I would have been super upped on the movie had it been a mystery to me. As it stands, I had a good time and I think most people will as well.

#Abigail #Recommended Movie

[whatyourusherthinks]

SPY x FAMILY CODE: White Review

Ugh. I don't like anime. I can't really justify why, because things I don't like about anime is also found in stuff I like, like superhero comics or kaiju movies. There was already an anime movie in our theater. It was called Dragon Slayer or Demon Slayer or something, either way I didn't watch it because I haven't seen the anime. I haven't seen the SPY x FAMILY anime either, but I have read the manga. It's something that I can only read in very small bursts, but I do keep up with it. So I have no excuse to not watch this movie. I watched the sub version, but keep in mind I'd still complain about the voice acting in the dub.

What The Movie About?

For convoluted reasons, a spy needs a fake family for a mission. He adopts a little girl who is psychic, fakes a marriage with an assassin, and they adopt a dog who can see the future. For other convoluted reasons, the family takes a vacation up north.

Honestly, if you don't already know the premise of the show, don't watch the movie. Not that you won't understand what is happening, it is pretty straightforward. But there are plenty of minor elements and character dynamics it skips over because the movie expects that the only people watching are people who've seen the series.

What I Like.

So the set-up of SPY x Family is really good. The main characters are great, and the idea of an entire family with each member having a major secret is a really good comedy premise. And the movie is just playing the greatest hits really. Do you like the joke where Yor is freakishly strong and no one seems to notice? They have that joke. Do you like the joke that Nightfall is obviously in love with Twilight and he doesn't notice? They have that joke. Do you like the joke of Anya mispronouncing every other word? What is wrong with you?

I will admit, I was down on the movie until the ending. The ending is pretty awesome, real damn fun, and gorgeously animated. It's almost always balls-to-the wall action, and all of the action looks really cool. The way they showcase motion is incredibly impressive. To be frank, I was barely paying attention until the climax started, then I was grinning. Every family member gets several moments to shine as well, it's incredibly fun. Yor fights a cyborg from Wolfenstein, it's amazing.

What I Didn't Like.

This movie takes a while to get going. In fact, the first half of the movie is really random. Part of the reason why is because they want to showcase every minor character in the series for at least a second, and part of it is because they are trying to be a showcase of every story beat the series pulls. Subplots kinda just come out of nowhere and resolve themselves are weird moments, never to be mentioned again. And the comedy, for me personally, is very hit and miss. The tone itself is hit or miss as well, thinking about it. One second we'll be focusing on the wacky side character obsessed with fortune-telling, then that wacky side character has a serious conversation about CUTTING OPEN A CHILD, then there is a hallucination sequence involving a poop god. All back to back. My final two criticisms are incredibly personal, and I don't know how many people will agree with me. One, I find Anya's voice annoying. I don't usually find how character's sound that bothersome. (Gurgy from the Black Cauldron doesn't bother me at all, actually. Neither does Jar Jar.) But for some reason she does. I think it's the combination of the volume of her voice with her "cutesy" way for talking. Two, THE MOVIE KEPT TEASING ME WITH MY SHIP. I, like many other fans I suspect, want Loid and Yor to end up together for real. They are, as the bards of the interwebs say, OTP. If they actually end up together I suspect it won't be until the end of the series. If it turns out something else, I would be sad but not disappointed I suppose. But I could do without all the almost kissing and getting intimate until Yor punches Loid and all of that kind of thing. It feels like being at a busy restaurant while starving, seeing the server heading towards your table with a tray of food, but them turning the corner right when they should arrive at your table.

Final Summation.

Honestly, thinking back to my experience, I mostly just remember the finale. That finale is really fun! But I think I'd rather just watch it isolated on YouTube or something. Which isn't to say the rest of the movie is bad necessarily. I guess my recommendation come to this: If you like SPY x FAMILY, you will like this movie. If you've never seen the show, but are interested in the premise, maybe check out the movie to see if you'd be interested in delving deeper. Otherwise, there's more fun and interesting movie out right now.

#SPY x FAMILY CODE: White #Recommended Movie

[whatyourusherthinks]

Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare Review

Just a poster for this film chaps! I had no idea such a display would enter the cinema otherwise. But that Guy Richie fellow, he makes quite the romps, doesn't he. I still remember my first introduction to his tomfoolery being the first Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr. What a cracking time that was! *Brick crashes through my window telling me to stop with the British accent*

What's The Movie About?

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare tells the tale of the recently declassified Operation Postmaster, where a group of agents set out to disrupt a Nazi supply chain to Uboats in '41.

What I Like.

Well, it's a Guy Richie movie, so the style is off the charts. The characters are incredibly charming and the violence is fun, fast, and flowing. The movie is basically Inglorious Basterds, but instead of Americans it's the British and there's nothing about the power of movies saving the day. And there's really nothing else to it. I could go into detail about the characters and the plot, but it's just a string of charming characters killing some of the worst people in history. If that's not enough for you, I dunno what to tell you. I guess I should add I really liked all the historical character that I noticed. Ian Fleming is in the movie. I didn't know what the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare was about before going in to the movie, so it was a pleasant surprise when the writer of James Bond turned up. There's also a coda at the end that tells you what happens to all the main characters after the movie and I liked that.

What I Didn't Like.

The style and violence is great, but maybe the Nazis went down a little too easily. I mean, they are Nazis. I love watching those goose-stepping bastards get their shit kicked in, but it feels like the main characters are never in any physical danger ever. Even the movie gets that at one point. They set up a fight between the giant Danish guy with an axe versus an entire Nazi squad with machine guns, and it's played like "Yeah yeah, we know how this is gonna go." They don't even bother to show the fight too. That's lame. My final complaint is that Churchill is a big presence in the movie, and the guy playing Churchill does not look ANYTHING like the real one.

Final Summation.

This movie is jolly good fun! *Brick that says 'Seriously, stop!' flies through my already broken window* If you like watching highly competent people doing what they do best, killing Nazis, they you will love this movie. And as a bonus, you might learn a little bit about history!

#Ministry ofUngentlemanly Warfare #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Civil War Review

I guess this movie had some controversy behind it? I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. What I was paying attention to was the director, Alex Garland. Yes, he's made 28 Days Later and Ex Machina and Annihilation, but I haven't watched those movies. But what I have seen is Dredd. Alex just wrote and produced that movie, but Dredd is awesome! Maybe all the bad reviews I heard would be wrong.

What's The Movie About?

Kirsten Dunst, a mentat from Dune, a kid, and not Pedro Pascal are a group of journalists travelling through the US during a violent conflict between an authoritarian US government and the secessionist forces of Florida, Texas, and California.

What I Like.

There's one scene where not Pedro Pascal and the kid connect that I thought was nice. And there was a cool scene where a seemingly normal town is revealed to have combatants on all of the roofs, and another one where the crew is driving through a forest fire. Also all the licensed music is good.

What I Didn't Like.

Watching Civil War, I had several questions. "Why is the President authoritarian?" "Why did all these states secede?" "Why did the kid want to be come a photojournalist?" "Why did the mentat need to get to Charlottesville?" "How is the President being authoritarian?" "Why don't the secessionist forces ever take the President's offer for a peace treaty?" "Why do the secessionist forces ally with each other?" "How did the Civil War get started?" "Why did the Civil War get started?" "Aren't all of these action scenes war crimes?" "For what reason is anyone fighting?" "Do the main characters have any politics at all?" "Does this movie have any politics at all?" "Why does the staged and fake hate crimes in the movie make me feel grosser than the real hate crime footage in Monkey Man?" "Why is there a random scene of the two female leads trying on dresses?" "Why do I hate the Courier font?" "Do I care about anything that is happening?" The answer to the final question is no. To everything else is "I don't fucking know." Everything in the movie just feels pointless or awful. It's been said, but the movie seriously never explains anything about the war, none of the politics on either side are even hinted at. The world building is nonexistent. Hell, the motivations of the main characters are nonexistent. Fuck a duck, the PERSONALITIES of the main characters are nonexistent. Kirsten is just an aloof jerk the entire movie, the mentant is a just the old guy. The kid and not Pedro Pascal are kind of fun in the beginning, but soon they get all their personalities trauma'd away. The movie is incredibly gross as well. Not in the details. I mean, a lot of guys get shot and beat and burned alive, but it mostly feels gross because there's no point to it. The last two movies I've recommended (Monkey Man and Late Night With The Devil) are much more explicit with their gore. (I mean a guy disembowels himself in Late Night.) But I think Civil War is worse because there's no point. There's nothing that the story is working towards besides "Hey, this is really disturbing, right?"

"Roan, you like dumb movies. Your favorite movie of all time features kids turning into adults but still acting like kids, and your second favorite movie of all time has a giant radioactive lizard as the antagonist." True Mr. Buggnutz, but you'll reread what I actually said, you'll notice I said the movie is pointless, not dumb. Clearly the makers of the movie are pretty smart. They expertly dodge any topic that might spark a controversy, and the film craft is good. There just no reason for them to do anything that they do in the movie. "But you said in Godzilla X Kong review that you liked it when Godzilla fought random monsters or no reason." Yes, but the key difference is that watching Godzilla fight other kaiju is fun. Watching grumpy people take pictures of atrocities is not. At least when there is not point to it. "The point of the movie is that violence is bad!" Is it? Because I feel like the ending of the movie would disagree. Circling back to some of the question I posed in the first paragraph, the President is constantly sending messages to the secessionists that he wants the US to reform and to have peace talks with them, but the secessionists just want him dead. The movie literally ends with Nick Offerman getting shot in the chest and a bunch of soldiers smiling and posing with him. The war is over! Because of violence! (By the way, this movie wastes so many good actors. Nick Offerman, Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Plemons, and Stephen McKinley Henderson are all generally great and all this movie want to do is shoot them in the chest. Cailee Spaeny is also pretty good until they decide it's time for her to be a carbon copy of Kirsten Dunst.)

My final complaint is gonna be a quick one, but this movie way over stays it's welcome. There are several scenes which start out good or even great. And then something almost imperceptible happens and I just hate everything once again. Sometimes it's just because a scene becomes too cloying. Sometimes a dramatic shift happens in a scene that makes it really stupid. Other times it's because the movie is being quiet and then suddenly wants to to get really really loud. I got several headaches and wanted to scream in ever scene.

Final Summation.

Holy shit this movie sucks. I don't know if I've come out of a movie colder than Civil War. The movie offers you nothing. It's like a teenage nihilist, all it does is point out how everything is either pointless, or horrible, and it is extremely proud of itself for showing you that. The only thing left is the final question, 'HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?'.

Seriously. Alex Garland makes good movies. Good movies that are about things. Civil War is about nothing. It shows you nothing but misery for no reason. There's no statement it makes besides a half-hearted "Violence is bad" that not even it's own narrative can stick with. As I was walking home from the theater, I thought to myself, "Would I like this movie more if the message was something I despised? Like if the movie was all about how war is awesome and the only way to stop the evil people was to shoot them all dead, would I recommend it?" The answer is obviously no. But I do think I would be kinder to the movie. There is some impressive staging and some cool ideas of framework. It's similar to Zone of Interest now that I think about it. There could have been something here but the decision was made early one to avoid every single interesting prospect. I think Zone of Interest is worse than Civil War, because at least Civil War made me feel angry while watching Zone of Interest made me want to take a nap. But both movies begrudgingly exist. And I hate them.

#Civil War #Rejected Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

The First Omen Review

This movie, ugh, this movie. I was not looking forward to it. I already don't like demonic possession movies, but also it struck similar chords in its advertisement as the Exorcist movie that came out last year. Which it you don't remember, was bad. Heck, at least Exorcist Believer had interesting trailers. But the First Omen actually got some good reviews when it came out, so I suppose I'm cautiously optimistic.

This movie is going to something of a litmus test. I have a rule that I'm allowed to skip sequels to movies that I have never seen before. I have not seen any of the Omen movies, for above mentioned reasons of not liking demonic possession movies. If I'm too confused then I'll just start skipping prequels as well as sequels.

What's The Movie About?

Margaret is a new nun at a Roman convent, meets a mistreated girl named Carlita, and gets involved with a conspiracy about the birth of the Anti-Christ.

What I Like.

I like Margaret and Carlita. Not only are they both interesting characters, they have a good dynamic with each other and the antagonists in the movie. The tagline of the movie is also correct, there is a good variety of scary moments throughout the entire movie. (But mostly because all other horror movies I've seen this year haven't been the best for scares.) The acting in the movie is also pretty good, but both Charles Danse and Bill Nighy are cardinals so what would you expect.

What I Didn't Like.

I was very confused watching this movie. Not because I hadn't seen the original movie, I think this movie is mostly stands on it's own and what few thing I could tell were supposed to be call backs (or call forwards, rather) were really minor. It's because random shit would just happen. Two character would be talking, then one would walk away, and the next we see her she's setting herself on fire while hanging herself at the same time. There are scenes that either jump forward or flash back (I honestly couldn't tell which), and they appear suddenly out nowhere. The jump scares were pretty dumb. There was a great scene when Margaret is locked in a room but they ruin it by ending with a jump scare. Despite all the confusion I had, I still called the plot twist super early. And not in a fun, I-feel-real-clever way. I also think the the mark of the beast looks stupid. Finally, the movie is set against a backdrop of riots in Rome, which is an interest setting. But they don't really do anything with it.

Final Summation.

I didn't like the First Omen. I don't hate it, it just kind of annoyed me. While I don't think I got confused because I haven't seen the original Omen, I'm still gonna take this as a sign that I should add prequels to my sequel exemption rule. Anyway, if you want a movie where a nun gets impregnated by the Catholic church, go find Immaculate.

#The First Omen #Rejected Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Late Night With The Devil Review

I didn't know anything this movie. It randomly arrived in theater with no fanfare, trailers, not even a poster. It is going away really fast too. Turns out the horror streaming service Shudder put it out for a limited time in theaters before making it exclusive online. The only other thing I knew about the movie was that they use AI art in part of the movie. I will get to that.

What's The Movie About?

The movie is essentially a found footage of the final episode of a fictional late night sketch show as well as behind the scenes footage detailing what went down to make it the final episode.

What I Like.

To start with, I liked all the characters. Most of them are selfish or jerks, but I still empathized with a good chunk, liked their motivations, and was invested with their role in the plot. A highlight for me was the stage magician skeptic character, if someone makes me play Call of Cthulhu ever again I want to play that guy. I quite like the set up and staging of the story, it built tension wonderfully. I also really liked the back drop of seventies cultural revolution, and more specifically, the satanic panic. It does telegraph some of the reveals but there isn't a huge mystery to the story so I didn't mind.

But my favorite thing is thus: Late Night With the Devil is an analogue horror story higher budget. (Or at least a higher budget than the typical YouTube videos that employ this style of horror.) What that means is that the movie emulates older forms of media, complete with glitched visuals and audio, and the movie uses it to find a subtler narrative underneath the upfront story. I really like analogue horror when it is done well. It can create some of the most disturbing ideas and presentations in horror. Some analogue horror can be too vague, where it's just weird shit with no context because the creators figure the fans will piece together anything and that justifies them barely writing a story. It works best when there is a complete narrative with creepier hints sprinkled throughout that imply a darker story. Which is what Late Night With The Devil does. I will say the secondary story might be a bit too obvious, I picked it up on my first time watching and most people I talked to figured it out as well. But I vastly prefer that to seemingly random bullshit that we'll just let the internet figure out what it means.

What I Didn't Like.

Three things. One, there is a coda at the beginning of the movie setting up the movie itself as lost footage being shown as the movie you are watching. But there is no coda at the end. The movie just kinda stops after the finale. It just feels like a loose end that could have easily been tied, and hell, even set up a sequel or connected movie. I'd watch more of these kinds of movies.

Two, while the gore effects are good, the rest are not. Honestly, they are so bad it takes away from the horror of the movie. There was only one scene I thought was scary, and it was because of those great gore effects. But there is a part where a character vomits themselves to death and I wasn't scared at all because of the clearly fake puke.

And three, the AI art. Here we fucking go. When I first heard about it, I assumed it was abstract art. So I just rolled my eyes and said "You really couldn't just splash some paint on a poster board and film it or something? Hell, give a production member's toddler 5 bucks to scribble all over some paper." But watching the movie, the AI artwork is actually supposed to resemble objects, such as a television, owl, and skeleton. Imagine me rubbing my face with both hands when I say Jesus H Fucking Christ. To start with, it looks bad. AI art does not do details properly at all, giving it any amount of scrutiny reveals how bad it is. Also, you couldn't just take ten minutes in photoshop to put an owl on an old tv? Pay a fucking artist to make art, don't use AI! It's objectively not that bad of an addition to the movie, but we can give no quarter on this issue. The moment that corporations replacing job with AI becomes normalized is the moment that we lose.

Final Summation.

I thought Late Night With The Devil was incredibly interesting and quite good. I wasn't being facetious when I said I would watch more of these kinds of movies. Analogue horror is a extremely fun method of story telling, if you do it right. And I think this particular setting could be expanded in quite a number of directions. Or if the Shudder studios want to keep making this kind of horror with different ideas, I would be down for that as well.

#Late Night With The Devil #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Monkey Man Review

There's a lot of monkey movies coming out this year, isn't there? That's weird. Anyway, the trailers of this movies were so cool, I was so ready for this movie. Apparently Netflix was sitting on this movie for three years before Jordan Peele paid to have it released everywhere instead of just online. Which just proves that Jordan Peele is one of the coolest guys in the world.

What's The Movie About?

Dev Patel's mom gets killed by the chief of all Indian police, so he plans a massive revenge scheme to kill his mom's killer as well as his dead beat dad.

What I Like.

For starters, the story is pretty simple, but unfolds in an incredibly entertaining way. Technically my rundown is a spoiler since you don't know why Dev Patel wants to get revenge at the beginning of the movie, or even that he wants revenge. The characters, similarly, are simple but very likable if they are good guys, and completely disgusting if they are the antagonists. My particular highlight is the sect of Shiva/Parvati worshippers who train Dev after his first assassination attempt fails. Speaking of which, I love the trans rep in the movie. The action is brutal and bloody, every fight feels like a desperate struggle. It flows extremely well with the themes of class resentment and rage that permeate the story as a whole. I also thought the music was really damn good. Not an action scene goes by without the perfect accompaniment, whether it be score or licensed music. And sometimes it's a song you wouldn't think they'd use but it still works brilliantly. I've had Jefferson Airplane's Somebody To Love stuck in my head all week.

What I Don't Like.

My big complaint is that a couple scenes are shot in such a way that is nigh impossible to see what is going on. Either there is a ton of close ups on characters that frankly seem unnecessary, or the shaky cam and lack of focus purposefully obscuring what is happening. There's also a female character that is pretty unnecessary as well, although I guess if she wasn't in it the only female characters are a evil mistress and the dead mom and I probably ding the movie for that. Finally, the subtitling is inconsistent. I'm fine with translating some of the Hindi but not all of it, because what they don't translate you can figure out what it means through context if you don't speak the language, but they subtitle some English lines for some reason.

Final Summation.

Hoolee Shet! Monkey Man is fucking AWESOME! The only question I need to figure out is which movie was better, this or Beekeeper. I mean, both movies are revenge movies with themes and morals I like and are full of brutal and fun action. Beekeeper was better shot, and it was more clear what was happening at any given time. But Monkey Man has a better story and cooler action scenes over all, so I think I give the edge to Dev. Sorry Jason Statham!

#Monkey Man #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire Review

Yay more Godzilla!

Quick rundown on my thoughts of the Monsterverse: I haven't seen the 2005 King Kong movie but I don't know if that counts. I really don't like Godzilla (2014). Skull Island was much better, but had some structural problems. King of the Monsters is the best movie, and probably the second best Godzilla movie ever. (You all know which is the best.) And I watched Godzilla Vs Kong right before going to the theater to see this movie. It was pretty good.

Just like Saints and Sinners, I need to start with a full disclosure: I was somewhat intoxicated watching this movie. I can clearly remember what happened and comprehended the movie, which is why I'm still reviewing it, but I might be nicer than I would be sober. Probably not though, I think I've made it clear in my other reviews I love kaiju movies.

What's The Movie About?

Monarch (the scientists who watch over the giant monsters) receives a signal from Hollow Earth, and with an older Kong goes to investigate. Also Godzilla takes like 3 naps before turning pink and fighting Kong again.

What I Like.

This movie shifts a lot of the focus on the Kaiju characters, specifically Kong. And the physical performances are amazing. There are several scenes of just Kaiju communicating with facial expressions and mime, but you can still tell exactly what the movie is trying to convey and what the characters are thinking. I also didn't mind the human characters. All the humans in this movie (and in the last one thinking about it) are mostly one dimensional, but they have more entertaining personalities and interact in more fun ways. I didn't really like Bernie except when he and Trapper were flirting, but Brian Tyree Henry was really good. My favorite character was Jia, I love that they've kept a deaf character as one of the human leads. Not only that, but she's an adopted character in a happy family. I also liked her mom quite a bit. Anyway, I hope Jia continues to be in the movies. The Hollow Earth people were pretty cool, I liked how their civilization looked and all the crystal spears were cool as well. Of course, the action is awesome. Spoilers, but the finally is basically Godzilla Vs Kong but it's a doubles match and it's so awesome. Also, I joke about Godzilla being pink now, but the entire movie is super neon and colorful. And the Monsterverse should have been like this from the beginning, it's super fun. (Hem hem GODZILLA (2014).) The needle drops in the movie were weird, but I still really liked them. My manager said that the plot seems like it was written by a seven-year-old, and I agree. It's the bet thing about the movie. I'm not saying this to put the movie down! What I mean is it's quite imaginative with the worldbuilding until it randomly gets bored and decides everyone needs to fight a tree. Or that some giant monkeys need to punch each other. And I goddamn love it. Like Godzilla Minus One is obviously super amazing and a better movie in almost every regard to all of the Monsterverse movies, but it is nice to have a movie that just goes "Godzilla now fights a giant squid-crab" at the twenty minute mark for absolutely no reason.

What I Didn't Like.

I'm mixed on using conspiracy theories as world building. On one hand, the Hollow Earth is cool! But on the other, aren't you somewhat giving legitimacy to people who actually believe that stuff, which at best is lending credence to anti-intellectualism, at worst inadvertently supporting harmful ideas? The movie also clarifies that all Titans are supposed to be the same species, which I find to be really weird since about half of the titans look like lizards, a third look like bugs, and one of them is supposed to be the Loch Ness Monster. The movie also missed a great opportunity for a classic Godzilla callback but I won't say what it is because it's a spoiler.

Final Summation.

Just like all the other good Monsterverse movies, Godzilla X Kong is good fun! I'd say it's better than the last one but still not as good as King of the Monsters. I really like the new direction though, bright neon colors, ridiculous plots, and just plain cool moments loosely strung together is what these movies should have been from the beginning, frankly. Excited for more!

#Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

In The Land Of Saints And Sinners Review

Uuuurrrgh. Another rerelease, and another movie that came out of nowhere. ThIs Is GoInG tO bE pLeAsAnT. Look, the other two rereleases this year were the worst movies I've seen so far, can you blame me for being worried? I did find it slightly funny that Liam Neeson is a hit man in the movie and his weapon of choice is a double barreled shotgun. Real stealthy assassin there.

So full disclosure, I was somewhat intoxicated watching this movie. I can clearly remember what happened and comprehended the movie, which is why I'm still reviewing it, but I might be nicer than I would be sober.

What's The Movie About?

Liam Neeson is an assassin in Northern Ireland during The Troubles, and gets chased by some IRA members trying to kill him after he offs the brother of the leader for hitting a local child.

What I Like.

I dug the vibes of this movie. It is simultaneously pretty dark, but also pleasant? Like all of the characters are kind to each other for the most part, and there is a sense of community between all the town locals. But there is also a lingering darkness over every character and location in the film. I like most of the characters as well. Fiction has an excellent way of making sleepy little towns seem really nice and welcoming. Just everyone in them is friends and always helping each other out. (If only that were true in real life.) I like the music too, although I'm a freak who actually likes bagpipes, so take that into account. Also, petty and weird thing to compliment here, but I liked all the accents. Like Liam Neeson should just be allowed to act with his regular accent all the time, it is incredibly sexy.

What I Didn't Like.

I felt like the villains were a bit cartoonish. I liked the leader at the start of the film but by the end it was definitely a good guys versus bad guys scenario. There were also some explosion and fire effects that looked pretty poor, but the movie is pretty reserved action-wise so it's not egregious.

Final Summation.

I quite enjoyed In The Land Of Saints And Sinners. It has a good mix of dark themes, likable characters, and Celtic music. I could see some people not like the darker elements of the movie, but I honestly wished it was darker. Otherwise, worth the rerelease.

#In The Land Of Saints And Sinners #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Love Lies Bleeding Review

I'm so excited that I knew nothing about this movie going in. I saw the trailer once. It was before Drive Away Dolls, which seemed to be a movie with very similar premise but the exact opposite tone. (I actually wrote in my notes for that movie to keep an eye out for this one.) I only saw a bit of the opening scene working theaters for Love Lies Bleeding as well, how lucky is that. I realize halfway through typing the last sentence this is once cadence shift away from complaining about spoilers, and I really don't care about stuff like that, but it's pretty rare that I can go into a movie 100% blind these days. At least, not one where I stayed up until midnight to watch it. I'm just being appreciative is all.

What's The Movie About?

Jackie is a bodybuilder hitchhiking to a competition when she makes a stop in a small New Mexico town. There she meets Lou, the daughter of a local crime boss and they fall in love. What follows is a tale of revenge, steroid abuse, frame-ups, and murder.

What I Like.

The atmosphere of this movie is incredible. The music, camera work, and lighting all combine to create an almost ethereal glow that surrounds the sleaze and crime that fills this movie. The magical realism in the movie perfectly encapsulates the characters' emotions and thoughts. The biggest strength is the showing-not-telling that the story is mostly comprised of. This was one of those movies where I'd just be staring at the screen, spellbound before remembering I was supposed to be taking notes and trying to catch up. The acting is also pretty damn good. I'm glad that both Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson both decided to do whatever crazy shit they wanted after Twilight, the Radcliffe career trajectory for actors is always interesting to watch.

What I Didn't Like.

There was a bit of the ending where I feel the magical realism was stretched a bit too far, but I honestly only bring it up because I think saying it will annoy the person I went to see the movie with. My more substantial problem is how uncomfortable the movie made me feel. And I can't really understand why. Obviously there are moments where the atmosphere was supposed to be strange and awkward, but I feel like it extended to the entirety of the movie. And I don't even it had to do with the content of the movie itself. Sure, there's gross and reprehensible stuff, but I've seen plenty of movies where they glorify violence, or where the characters do drugs and have explicit sex, or that are about incredibly awkward topics like spousal abuse or the repercussions of murder. Maybe it's the combination of all those things with the realistic camera work that just overwhelmed me.

Final Summation.

Honestly, I'm a tad disappointed as a whole. Love Lies Bleeding isn't a bad movie in any regard. In fact, by almost any metric, it's a great film. But I feel like it fell short from what I was expecting. I think I just built it up in my head to be something that it just was never gonna be. There were also some parts where the rest of the audience was laughing, but I wasn't, or I was the only one in the theater laughing. I don't think I got Love Lies Bleeding. And unlike something like Lisa Frankenstein, I don't know if I can understand it. (I gUeSs I'm JuSt ToO lItErAl.) Don't get it twisted, the movie is pretty good and if you are interested you should go see it. But I think all the uncomfortable atmosphere is just too much for me.

What a bass-ackwards day. The movie I liked the least was the one I was looking the most forward to, and the best movie was starring Sidney Sweeney.

#Love Lies Bleeding #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire Review

Ghostbusters! I feel about them the same way I feel about quit a few other nerd properties. I like it, but I wouldn't call myself a fan. I enjoyed the original two when I saw them as a kid. I didn't watch the 2016 reboot because of all the toxic nonsense around it. (Also I heard it was just okay so didn't want to waste a weekend on it.) And I enjoyed Afterlife. I thought the trailers were fun, but I was very concerned that Podcast didn't appear in any of them. Luckily he is in the movie, so the writers didn't forget about the best character. Hey, it also looks like Finn Wolfhard is actually gonna be doing something in this one!

What's The Movie About?

The crew from Ghostbusters Afterlife moved back to New York City and must face down a new threat in the form of Garraka, an ice ghost who wants to command an army of the undead.

What I Like.

I really like the family dynamic in this movie. Gary's arc of trying to become Phoebe and Trevor's new dad but not knowing where the boundaries lie was really sweet. I really like the entire Spengler family and their dynamic. Phoebe is honestly my favorite character in the whole franchise. I also really like that Walter Peck is back and is now the mayor of New York City, and he's just as correct about everything as he was in the original movie. Good to see that they kept that tradition going. I also like the new characters. Patton Oswald, Jamie Acaster, and Kumail Nanjiani are great additions and I thought they were funny. Speaking of which, the humor is better in this movie than the last one. I also like the worldbuilding. Not only is the villain pretty creepy and the Death Chill a cool power, but I like the expansion of the franchise. Literally, the Ghostbusters are expanding their franchise in the movie to include a new location where the new characters can study ghosts and invent new gadgets.

What I Didn't Like.

Finn Wolfhard is, once again, completely superfluous in this movie. He tries to catch Slimer a couple times but mostly he's just in the background whining about stuff. Nothing against the actor, but please don't bring him back for a sequel unless you're going to actually give him a plotline. Hey, speaking of things to stop doing for the sequel, stop with the nostalgia bait! It's honestly so frustrating to watch these interesting new characters and ghosts have to split their screentime with references and callbacks that purely exist for people to point and go "I 'member that!" I don't mind having Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson around doing their thing, but with the exception of Walter Peck, every time there was a call back to the first movie I just rolled my eyes. And the cast at this point is pretty huge, give some of the more interesting characters breathing room!

Final Summation.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is good fun. I enjoyed watching it and I think it'll be a hit for fans as well as those coming back from Afterlife. I continue to enjoy the Phoebe character and would love to keep watching the Spengler family bust ghosts with science.

#Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Immaculate Review

Man I know nothing about this movie. The poster just arrived in theater a couple months ago. I didn't even realize it was coming out as soon as it was. I like the poster though. It's simple, but conveys that it's a horror movie about nuns. I like the subtle blood on the habit. And- Wait a minute... Zoom! Enhance!

SHIT!

Okay doing research apparently this is a movie Ms. Sweeney wanted to get made so she produced it as well as starred in. I don't know anything about what she's like in real life, but my god. Nothing I've seen her in I've liked, and she was a major reason why. The fact that she is the sole credit and marketing feature on the poster does not inspire confidence.

What's The Movie About?

Sydney is a new nun at a convent who seemingly conceives immaculately (Ey title drop kinda), although her nightmares, the overbearing control from the priests and older nuns, and her body literally rotting away makes her suspicious of the circumstances.

What I Like.

This movie's actually pretty good. I know, I'm shocked too. For starters, this is the first horror movie I've seen this year so far that was actually scary. Immaculate builds tension wonderfully, and when it is broken the camera shies away from nothing. There's some pretty gruesome gore, but it still feels subtle since it's not frequent, nor does it feel like a spectacle. I really enjoyed the story. I did guess exactly what was happening, but I felt really clever when it was revealed. I love mystery movies so much because guessing what is happening is so fun and the good ones make you feel incredibly smart when you guess it right. This movie gave me exactly the same feeling. And hell Sidney didn't do a bad job in this movie! Admittedly, she only really had to act confused or scared, but it was much better acting then her last two movies. And I really liked the ending. I think all horror movies should just go ballistic at the end. It's so entertaining.

What I Didn't Like.

There was a couple things I thought could be explained a little better, but honestly it's not that big of a deal. What is a bigger deal is that the opening sucks. For one, I don't how the girl who gets killed is or was supposed to be. Two, it reveals who the villains are way too early.

Final Summation.

I get why someone would push to make this movie. It's a pretty fun time if you like the spooky stuff. Good on ya Sydney Sweeney! You've proven that you can at least pick interesting ideas.

#Immaculate #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Arthur The King Review

Eeeey it's the Mahky Mahk dahg movie! Funnily enough, I've had the exact opposite pre-experience with Arthur the King than I've had with a movie like Imaginary. Which is to say I saw the poster, we showed the trailer, but as soon as it came out there was crickets. I haven't looked, but I also haven't heard a single thing about the movie. I was not looking forward to this, even though the trailer was good. One, I am vehemently a cat person. And two, I hate Mark Wahlberg. He's a racist asshole who can't act.

What's The Movie About?

Marky Mark is a runner who is competing in the Adventure Games in the Dominican Republic. Along the way his team finds a stray dog that follows them throughout the race.

What I Like.

The racing, mostly. If you remember that show the Amazing Race, it was kinda like that except it's in one location and all the participants are suicidal. Simu Liu plays a jerk, but he's so goddamn charismatic that I liked him despite that. The locations they shoot at are also very pretty. I liked that they didn't translate any of the Spanish in the movie, so if you didn't speak the language than you just had to pick things up through context clues.

What I Didn't Like.

Funnily enough, my two biggest problems are Mark Wahlberg and the dog. I'll say it again, Marky Mark cannot fucking act. His character is pig-headed and stubborn, and it's revealed at one point that he spent all of his wife's savings to run this super dangerous race. And she tells him at the end of the movie that she's pregnant! (Marky Mark also doesn't know what poor people are, since he's in dire financial straits but he still owns a pretty nice house in the mountains with a pool and eats steak for dinner every night.) This movie has a hilarious ego trip scene where Marky Mark carries two bikes and an adult woman across a zipline in one go like he's a goddamn super soldier or some shit. Speaking of unintended hilarity, there were several moments where something that was supposed to be dramatic was happening, and but I had to stop myself from bursting out laughing. Funnily enough, almost all the dramatic moments had the super obvious product placement happening during them. I usually don't mention product placements in movies (because that's what the companies want) but I want Nissan to be forever associated with the line, "My dad has cancer!" Both of the women characters all suck. The first is Marky Mark's wife, who not only is the breadwinner of the house, but literally just exists to support her husband as he tries to get himself killed. The other is one of the team members in the race, and her deal is daddy issues. She also weirdly gets coddled throughout the movie (She's the one who has to get saved on the zipline.) even though she's clearly the team member in the best shape. The camera work, additionally, sucks. It along with the editing are incredibly inconsistent. Sometimes it's shot in standard, sometimes it's clearly hand held, other times it's back-to-back drone shots. Sometimes you can see how the racers are running and where they are going, other times it's impossible to parse because of close-ups of Marky Mark's face and, of goddamn course, shaky cam! The structure of the movie as a whole is like that. One second everyone is buddy-buddy, then at a turn of a dime everyone is yelling at each other, then the dime turns again and its back to quips and goofs.

Finally, let's talk about that stupid dog. The dog is cute. Whatever. You might think from the trailer that the entire movie is gonna be Marky Mark's team running with this dog, but the dog doesn't even meet the team until halfway through the movie. We still see him, but's it's just shots of him wandering around the slums getting chased by other dogs in goofy scenes. Once he joins up with the team it's mostly fine, but then the ending happens. The ending was so saccharine that I got a cavity. I kinda hate that I watched with movie with other patrons in the theater, because I have never wanted to yell, "Just kill the damn dog already!" more in my life. The ending is nonsense. They pretend this dog is gonna die like three times, and he never fucking does. I know this makes me sounds like a miserable bastard, but that dog should've died. "But the dog survived in real life!" Shut up Buggnutz. Stories based on real events change things around all the time. I'm sure the real runner carried a woman and two bikes across a fucking zipline. "The ending is a tearjerker!" Is it? Because I wasn't crying. I was tapping my foot on the floor waiting for this movie to wrap up.

Final Summation.

I can see some people liking this movie. It's a feel good piece about a dog, maybe for you that makes up for the fact that Mark Wahlberg made and stars in this movie. But I wrote in my notes "If they pull a happy ending out of their ass I'm rejecting this movie", so unfortunately my hands are tied.

#Arthur the King #Rejected Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Imaginary Review

I'm starting to get suspicious of movies we don't get any marketing for. Imaginary, say it with me now, got absolutely no trailers or posters before it came to theaters. When I saw it on the coming soon whiteboard at work I thought someone had misremembered the title of IF, the John Krasinski movie that is also about imaginary friends, but nope. This is a horror movie from Blumhouse. (IF comes out in May.) All I knew going in is that it has been getting trashed by reviews. But the premise seems interesting, maybe I'll like it despite what other say?

What's The Movie About?

Jessica is a children's book author who moves her new family into her childhood home. When her stepdaughter makes an imaginary friend, the family deals with some spooky shenanigans while trying to navigate past trauma and moving forward together.

What I Like.

I really like Jessica and the little girl Alice. I think making the main character of a movie about imaginary friends a children's book author is genius. And Alice is very cute and never got cloying. He's not in it much, but the dad in the movie was also pretty nice and sensible, which was a good change of pace. When eventually we get to see some creature designs, I thought they looked pretty freaky and the effects were good. There's a land of imagination that I also liked the look of. The monster also had a power where it could project the collective imaginations of all children through its eyes, and adult brains can't handle the strain of looking into them. That's really fucking cool idea. It's like unrestrained children's imagination is a Lovecraftian entity. The plot as a whole I rather enjoyed. There is themes of parenthood and protecting the innocent even if that means sacrificing yourself, and the moments when they touch on darker topics like self-mutilation are pretty unsettling. I also really like that Jess is the kids' stepmother and she actually loves them and is willing to put her life on the line for them, even though they don't always appreciate her efforts. I've heard this movie described as cliched, and while that is true, I also feel like they do some interesting twists on those cliches and I enjoyed it. There also quite a few plot twists that did take me a minute to fully appreciate, but I came around on them. The few moments of humor I thought were pretty good too. I liked the worldbuilding and how the imaginary friend operates, but admittedly that may be because it reminded me of two TTRPGs I think are cool. (Monsters and Other Childish Things and Little Fears, if you are interested in checking them out.)

What I Didn't Like.

I only have two substantive issues with the movie. One, while I liked the designs of the monster and the imaginary world, it felt constrained. Like if I told you a form the monster takes is of a spider-humanoid, the first thing you think of is probably exactly what it looks like. There's nothing too crazy in terms of the supernatural aspect of the movie, brain-melting imagination projection aside. (And that being said they don't really show any of the brain-melting stuff. It's just the monster projecting swirly lights from its eyes.) Two, I really fucking hate Taylor. She is the elder step-daughter and basically the secondary main character, but she a rude bitch to Jess the entire movie, causes a bunch of problems, and even when eventually getting on the same page as everyone else she's still sarcastic and barely helpful. At least the douchebag boy next door she flirts with ended up being so pathetic it was funny.

Final Summation.

I did like Imaginary despite the poor reviews! Maybe it's just something that appeals to me personally (I like kids and monsters together for some reason), but I was ruminating on why I liked it when no one else seemed to. I have two theories.

One, while I think Imaginary is a good movie, I don't think it's a good horror movie. It's not that scary. Shocking, I know, the movie with a stuffed teddy bear as the main antagonist is not the horror masterpiece we were all expecting. It wasn't as scare-less as Night Swim, but it's definitely not gonna be keeping me up at night. I can totally understand why someone walking into a Blumhouse would be annoyed that they aren't getting nightmares from it.

Two, I think maybe people misinterpreted what the movie was trying to be. Imaginary is not a serious movie. It does touch on some darker subject matter, but it still airs a bit on the fairytale storytelling method. The main villain, besides angry imaginary friends, is not trusting the adult. It isn't the most complex moral situation in the world but I don't think it was trying to be. I also think some of the goofier parts were intentional. The only death in the movie made me laugh, but it could have used one more comedy beat to make it completely clear I was supposed to be laughing. Honestly, maybe that's the best direction for a PG-13 horror movie to go. If you're already limiting how dark you can be by not allowing certain imagery, it might be best to just shoot for a lighter tone all together. I didn't watch it, but that what it seems like the Five Nights At Freddy's movie did. (Interestingly, the other movie title dropped on the poster is M3GAN, and the only thing I know about that movie is that the robot danced in a silly way. Maybe the filmmakers were trying tell everyone what kind of movie they were making and no one paid attention.)

In conclusion, give Imaginary a chance. Maybe you won't set your world on fire, but I had a good time.

#Imaginary #Recommended Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Cabrini Review

Ah fuck, it's my first Angel Studios movie. Never heard of them? Well, they are a Mormon faith-based movie company that uses crowd-funding to produce their movies. Naturally it's CEOs and film makers are all God-fearing, alt-right, dog whistle-spouting, propaganda-spreading Neo-Nazis. They're most famous for a movie that came out last year called Sound of Freedom, the "true" story about a guy who tried to end child trafficking by child trafficking. And then one of the film's funders got arrested for child trafficking. Can't fucking make that shit up. The only reason the theater I work at shows these movies is because the company and a distribution deal with Angel, the only people who come to see them are decrepit old bags who only watch to have their worst presuppositions confirmed and masochists who've lost their riding crops like myself.

TO BE FAIR, I was morbidly curious to see After Death, their documentary about proving the existence of the after life. (But it left the theaters before I had a chance to watch it.) And the premise of telling a story about a real life nun I've never heard of isn't a bad one. Glancing at Wikipedia it seems like the real life Cabrini wasn't caught grifting sick patients or stealing babies like certain other nuns. So maybe the movie is a decent retelling of the person's life. We shall see.

What's The Movie About?

This is a biopic of Francis Xavier Cabrini, an Italian nun who was the first Catholic saint from the US. The movie specifically follows a mission to New York City building an orphanage and then a hospital.

What I Like.

Cabrini was a good character in the movie. She was driven and stubborn, generally wise, kind to those less fortunate but didn't allow anyone to take advantage of her. Her plans to fund her various projects and protect her wards were pretty inspiring, not gonna lie. And I liked that they let her cry in a couple scenes and didn't give her shit for it (Even what she was crying over was kinda weird). I also like her friend Victoria, a prostitute who murdered her pimp is self defense then works with Cabrini. I was concerned that the movie makers were taking the piss releasing this on International Women's Day, but no the women characters are good. John Lithgow plays the corrupt mayor of New York who is cartoonishly evil and I kinda loved it. The set design and costuming was also pretty good. I liked all the top hats and cigars. There's some pretty neat scene transitions as well. Also the movie didn't try to pass off any reprehensible behavior as righteous, so it cleared the minimum requirement.

What I Didn't Like.

So Cabrini is a fine character in the movie, but she also has absolutely no flaws. I mean she's sickly, but that never really plays into anything in the plot or prevents her from doing anything. Actually I lied, the one part of the plot that is played into by the being chronically sick thing is she meets a doctor she becomes friends with, so her one flaw is a net positive. She's also followed around by 5 or 6 other nuns who get absolutely no characterization. I think they said one of their names once but I can't remember what it was. I also find it a bit funny that this Christian movie about a Catholic nun makes the Catholic Church a secondary antagonist. But they also try to present the story for being a bit morally grey, yet everything Cabrini does is entirely righteous and everyone trying to stop her is either racist, corrupt, or both. There was one scene where the editing made me entirely confused about where characters were, and the fact the shit started exploding didn't help. The message of the movie was "Start the Mission, God will provide the means." Not only is that just not how the world works, but the main conflict in the movie is Cabrini not having enough money to do any of the mission work she wants to do and has to convince other people to donate. "But Roan," Joe Buggknutz protests, "The means God provided were the donations from the people." But not only did Cabrini basically have to beg for all of the money, (which maybe you can argue is part of the mission but she's already taking care of orphans and supervising building places for sick and injured to go, which was her stated mission's purpose so it seems churlish to demand that she does more) but half the people she asks don't give her a cent! Thanks for coming through there God! "But- but the Lord works in mysterious ways!" Stop making excuses for your favorite imaginary friend you cuc-

Final Summation.

Cabrini is fine. If you can stomach the idea of making a glowing biopic of a missionary, you can watch this movie with no problems. I'm still not recommending it because fuck Angel Studios. But if your crazy relative sends you one of their free tickets that they try to unload on their audience, there are worse ways to spend two and a half hours.

#Cabrini #Rejected Movies

[whatyourusherthinks]

Kung Fu Panda 4 Review

My first reaction to hearing about this movie was, "Oh no, they're making another one?" Don't misunderstand. I fucking LOVE the Kung Fu Panda movies. They are, no joke, some of my favorite martial arts movies of all time. I think they are a perfect trilogy, each one builds and escalates upon the last. Which is why I was concerned. I didn't know where the series could escalate after the third that wouldn't be completely ridiculous. But then the trailers came out and they were pretty good. So I was tentatively excited going in to see this movie.

What's The Movie About?

Po is tasked with finding his successor as the Dragon Warrior, meanwhile an evil shapechanger is amassing power to conquer the world. So Po sets off for one last adventure.

What I Like.

So 4 doesn't escalate as well from 3 as 3 did from 2, or 2 did from 1, but I enjoyed the story and did feel it made sense as a continuation. I think it was a smart Idea to cut out the Furious Five, and I really like Zhan, Po's new companion. Both she and the new villain are great. The Chameleon is maybe my favorite villain in the series. Her powers were cool, the way she shapeshifts was creepy, and I liked her motivation. The other criminals Po meets along the way were also highly entertaining. Thank you for putting Ke Huy Quan in everything now, I love him. The action was very well staged, I would even say it was on par with the first movie. The first fight in the Hall of Heroes is a lot of fun, and there's a couple action scenes on a Tavern overhanging a cliff that were both fun and funny. And the comedy was a lot tighter than the other movies. It is incredibly fast paced with a lot of back and forth, almost like a Marx Brother sketch. I also liked the B-plot with Ping and Li, they were kinda gay and I loved it.

What I Didn't Like.

There's a chase scene where the editing was a little confusing, and it wasn't as nearly as well staged as pretty much every other action scene in the movie. The movie also implies that Po has killed every single one of his villains including minor off screen ones, which I find... Unsettling. At several points, Po tries to tell people who he is by claiming he's "the Kung Fu Panda", which as far as I'm aware no one in the movies has ever called him that before.

Final Summation.

Kung Fu Panda 4 is a worthy sequel. I don't think I like it as much as Kung Fu Panda 3, but it is a excellent note to end the series on. If they do that.

#Kung Fu Panda 4 #Recommended Movie

[whatyourusherthinks]

Dune Part Two Review

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's The Movie About?

SAME THING AS THE FIRST ONE!

Ahem. Sorry, excited. This is the follow up to the first Dune movie and portrays the second half of the Dune Novel. Mostly Paul and his mother imbedding themselves into the Fremen and amassing an army to take on the re-enstated Harkonnens.

What I Like.

These movies are fucking gorgeous. There are quite a few jaw-dropping compositions and the designs of all the technology and outfits are very cool. The story is excellent, although it should be a surprise since the book is a classic and as far as I can tell the movie is mostly faithful to it. The few changes they made I actually think are for the better, like not jumping the story forward or changing how a certain character dies. I really liked the Fremen society. It felt like a real society that would exist on a planet like Arrakis. The pool of water they add their dead people's water to felt like something that would actually come to be. And I dug Paul's downfall at the end. The Bene Gesserit are so sleezy that I felt genuinely bad for everyone who fell for their religion. I also felt like Stilgar is probably completely broken by the end, and that sucked because I really like Stilgar. (Sucked in a good way I mean. It was definitely intentional for the audience to feel bad.) I also weirdly like Feyd-Rautha. Like he's absolutely a villain, but I like his personality, how he's supposed to be an opposite to Paul, and I kinda liked him more than Paul at the end of the movie. He's just a silly guy, it's not his fault he was born on the German Expressionist planet to a family of snuff film makers. Christopher Walken as the emperor is also pretty awesome, very inspired casting. The score is great. I'll catch myself wanting to belt out the wailing used every so often. The action was also pretty awesome. The high frequency shields is an inspired bit of world building, because it brings more of the fighting into the realm of desperate knife fights, which I find more interesting than just people shooting back and forth. Also, as someone who's played the Dune board game before engaging with the Dune story at all, was was neat to see the characters take actions that could be done in the game and where some of the names of cards come from.

What I Didn't Like.

So I was praising how cool some of the shots were right? Well guess what. Pretty much all of them are in the trailer. Also, while I like how well built the Fremen society was, the Harkonnen planet seems like it should have flamed out in three generations. All they do is kill each other and they especially mistreat their women, so I don't know why they still exist. I get it's just supposed to be the evil guys so they took every opportunity to have them be evil, but it's kinda lazy writing. Speaking of Harkonnen, and this is gonna be petty, but I and everyone I talk to about Dune pronounces the name "Har-Ko-Nen". The movie pronounces it "Hark-En-En" and it was really distracting. There is also a major plot reveal 45 minutes before the movie ends, which happens to be when we drop checks in the theaters at my work. So I got fucking spoiled, thanks Denis Villanelle or whatever you name is.

Final Summation.

It's awesome. It's all the climax to make up for all the set up of the first movie. If you put a knife to my neck and made me choose which one I liked more, I guess I'd say Part 2 since more cool stuff happens, but like all stories split into two parts you should really treat it as a whole. And as a whole, Dune is fucking awesome. I cannot wait for the sequel.

#Dune Part Two #Recommended Movies