whatthefuckisneurotypical

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

just finished another round of everyone’s favorite game show, bpd breakdown! featuring special guest, my mom!!

#rea rambles #bpd shit #it is 12:50 pm on a school night. i have to get up at seven. #at least we got through the breakdown and had a good convo in the post-breakdown clarity

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

wow. um. you know you’re traumatized when you see a tiktok of a mom surprising her daughter by being at her wedding dress fitting, and your first thought is “oh ABSOLUTELY not, FUCK that, that would be TERRIBLE.” like. the idea of my mom surprising me by showing up at a wedding dress fitting makes me upset and anxious and just sounds all-around awful. she would be intruding and overstepping her bounds and being presumptuous in that situation. it wouldn’t be cute or funny for me. it would just fucking suck.

#but like. my bio dad or my step dad or any of either of their parents would be fucking AWESOME!! #but like. my mom? or her parents? NO. just NO. #i don’t know man #i have therapy tomorrow #i’ll talk to hayden about it then #but like. it’s all so much. #idk it feels like my relationship with my mom is just crumbling to pieces lately #and it’s not my fault but like. at least when i was still pretending things were fine i could make myself believe that we were okay #now i just keep looking around and seeing how many things aren’t really black #they’re just fucking burnt. #and it sucks you know? that’s my MOM #she’s supposed to be all of these wonderful things #we’re supposed to have such a great relationship #but like. we don’t. we never have. i don’t trust her. #and she’s never hurt me on purpose #but i have to specify ‘on purpose’ #whatever. i’m gonna talk with my therapist about it tomorrow. #i’m gonna go make hot chocolate now. #rea rambles

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

Self-care Sunday: Does anyone else feel like they need more concrete instructions than "just let go" of intrusive thoughts? Hunter Clark-Fields (author of Raising Good Humans) explains that the reason labeling thoughts works to help let them go is because the process activates the prefrontal cortex---the part of the brain responsible for logic, reason, and decision-making, i.e. the part of the brain that's good at focusing and setting emotions aside. It's been really helpful in my meditation practice to notice where my thoughts go, give them a label, and find it easier to refocus on the present. Labeling thoughts isn't just helpful during meditation! It's a useful practice at any time of day when you notice unwanted thoughts cropping up. The key is in the noticing.

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

some of you are miserable because you’re mean. like you’re just mean to people and things

#i wish i could send this to you. #i wish i could watch you from the sidelines as your burn your life down around you #i hope you suffer in the same exact way you’ve hurt everyone around you. #i hope you feel like shit and i hope you always feel it in your bones that it is all. your. fault. #your life is gonna suck and go to shit and i cannot WAIT to laugh at you and your failures #rea rambles

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

loved one: i have a problem

me a machine built to solve problems: great here’s the solution

loved one: im so fucking emotional about the problem

me: i have the solution

loved one: i get so angry. i’m frustrated

me: i am holding the solution in my hand and showing it to you

lloved one, yelling now: the universe is indifferent

me: solution

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

guy accidentally cures his own road rage by making fun of the person who caused his road rage

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

Okay so I’m tired and bitchy and I’ve had a rough morning, and because of that I’m probably about to drop an unpopular opinion here, but I really dont care.

Narcissist is starting to become the new sociopath/psychopath/psycho, and I am really, really concerned with where this is heading.

It’s the exact same thing I’ve been seeing for years with my own diagnosis. You say you’re a sociopath, and immediately you’re now an asshole. I’ve had people actually ask me if I have ever hurt someone/wanted to hurt someone because I’m a sociopath, and I’ve had to explain over and over again that no, that’s not what that means, it just means empathy is not something that I can experience like everyone else. I can still be compassionate, I can still be a kind person, I can have no desire to hurt anyone ever, but I still get treated like a ticking time bomb. Even though my disorder actually helps me in a job that saves lives (I work in tissue donation, so not feeling empathy makes handling donor tissue from a 15 year old a lot easier), I still get asked by people at that same job about my “secret dark side” and if I ever did/do things like torture animals.

The same thing is happening to narcissists. You say you’re a narcissist, and now suddenly you’re an abuser. You want to paint someone as a bad person? Call them a narcissist, then everyone will understand how mean and evil they are. I am so sick and tired of seeing tiktoks, tweets, and Tumblr posts going on and on about how horrible narcissists are and how much people hate them. As if narcissists aren’t people! As if narcissists aren’t people experiencing a personality disorder! Y'all are all about “neurodivergent/mental illness solidarity uwu” until you bring in the “undesirable” mental illnesses and personality disorders, and then suddenly it’s “All x people are mean and evil and abusive blah blah blah they can’t get better/better themselves blah blah blah here’s how to argue with them except I’m not going to actually talk about that I’m actually going to just say how horrible they are and how they’re bad people blah blah blah” and it’s like shut up! Shut the fuck up! Those are people! Those are real people with real feelings and you’re just out here saying they’re inherently bad, and for what? For likes? For clout? Do you have any idea how hard it is to come to terms with a diagnosis like that when your view on it is so incredibly skewed, when you think you’re being assigned the Bad Person Disease™️ after you’ve tried so hard to be a kind person and uplift those around you? And now you’re left thinking it was all for nothing, because now you can never be a good person no matter how hard you try because you have Bad Person Disease? Do you have literally any idea how damaging that is, and how much that hurts? But hey, ableism isn’t ableism when it’s against the “bad” people, right?

Anyway, if you’re a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist, have bpd, are bipolar in the “wrong” way, are schizophrenic or psychotic, are the “wrong” type of autistic, or anything else, I see you and you’re doing amazing. Your diagnosis doesn’t dictate who you are and, even though some things are harder for us than they are for others, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

I just think we need to treat people who were suicidal as teenagers as in the same kind of recovery as people who were addicted as teenagers. There needs to be solidarity among the mentally damned.

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

why does pinkie pie literally have bpd. like. mlp friendship is magic, season 1 ep 25 “party of one”? homegirl throws a party, all her friends say they had a great time, so she invites them to another party *literally the next day.* all her friends say no and are cagey as shit, she assumes that they don’t like her, she throws her own party with a pile of rocks and a bag of flour as some of the guests. her temper is huge and her bad mood stays bad for a long time, but when she’s happy, literally nothing can break that. she forgot her own birthday, and when her friends threw her a surprise party, she was PISSED until she understood that they didn’t hate her and then everything was hunky-dory!!! pinkie pie is borderline as fuck!!!

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

(mobster voice) say somethin’ else and youse gonna be plinkin’ with the horses

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

currently nesting on my bed with the lights off and music on, and the whole situation simultaneously feels like one of those white girls who only has depression for her instagram and also seems very indicative of actual mental illness.

#rea rambles #i don’t want to die as much as i did last night though!! so that’s good!!!

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

bpd is just walmart brand insanity

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

[whatthefuckisneurotypical]

and that’s on ✨borderline personality disorder✨