wellfuckthisshitagain

[wellfuckthisshitagain]

RAVI: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? CHIMNEY: Maybe a bit tipsy? HEN: Drunk. EDDIE: Wasted. BUCK: Dead.

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Why is no one kissing my neck and putting their whole weight on top of me while they tease me with the tip of their strap? 😡

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Eddie : That's ridiculous, Buck doesn't have a crush on me.

Hen: Yes he does

Chim: Yes he does

Buck : Yes I do.

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tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @disasterbuckdiaz @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @wildlife4life 💖💖

more of the alive shannon fic - we'll be over the accident angst soon and fully move into recovery+divorce awkwardness and angst, I can't wait haha

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“When can we see her?” his voice shakes, his whole body feeling smaller than it is, as he cuddles into Eddie’s chest.

“Uh, soon, okay? How about, while you’re at school tomorrow, I’ll go find out if she can have visitors yet, alright? And then we’ll see.” he leans down to kiss Christopher’s head, arms squeezing around him. “She’ll be fine. She loves you so much, and she’ll be back before you know it.”

“I miss her.” he sobs, silent tears soaked up by Eddie’s shirt, and suddenly Eddie’s back in Texas, holding a little five-year-old, who’s crying for his mommy, not understanding why she’s gone, why he can’t hug her, why she can’t be the one to tuck him in. Eddie hated seeing him like this, and he hated Shannon for doing this to him, to both of them. He also hated himself for how she must’ve struggled all alone, Chris barely recognizing his dad when they talked on video chat, and Eddie being a stranger to him when he came back – and that was all his own doing. It’s all such a mess, and they’ve just been on the right track to fix it, and now… Now who the fuck knows what’s going to happen.

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no pressure tags: @diazass @elvensorceress @gayarthur @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @jesuisici33 @diazblunt @theotherluciferr @911onabc @eddiediaztho @spotsandsocks @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @honestlydarkprincess @fortheloveofbuddie @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @jeeyuns @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @eowon @cowboy-buddie @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck @loserdiaz

[wellfuckthisshitagain]

seven sentence sunday

tagged by @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz 💖💖

so, since the car smut is done and posted already (!!!), I'm slowly switching back to coffee shop au and alive shannon bc they've been kinda on hold lately lol so today some angst for a change, here's a lil snippet of the alive shannon fic, I'm so excited to get back to this

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They drive in silence, no talking, no music, no touching – Eddie really misses the feeling of Buck’s hand in his. He thinks it’s all the emotions today, making him just want a physical reminder that he’s not alone. But Buck’s driving, and he’s not reaching out – because why would he, it’d be weird if he did, right? – so Eddie’s just looking out the window at the city lights and passing cars, and wonders how it’s possible it’s nighttime already, has it really been this much time? He’s also trying to come up with a way to tell Christopher about today, but he just can’t find the words.

That’s why, when they get home and Buck parks his jeep in the driveway, Eddie doesn’t get out, doesn’t even reach for the handle. He stays where he’s at, ignoring the hand itching to get back into Buck’s. His friend is patiently waiting, not rushing him, not judging him, just being there. Eddie wants him to stay with them tonight. He’d feel much better knowing he’s there. 

“How do I do this?” he finally asks, voice barely a whisper, eyes locked on his front door, and in his peripheral vision he sees Buck’s head turn towards him. “What do I tell him?”

___

no pressure tags: @diazass @elvensorceress @gayarthur @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @jesuisici33 @diazblunt @theotherluciferr @911onabc @eddiediaztho @spotsandsocks @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @honestlydarkprincess @fortheloveofbuddie @lover-of-mine @wildlife4life @gayhoediaz @jeeyuns @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @forthewolves @eowon @cowboy-buddie @ladydorian05 @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus

[wellfuckthisshitagain]

seven sentence sunday

tagged by @giddyupbuck 💖💖

this time a bit of the alive shannon fic bc I'm once again switching between my wips all the time (why the fuck can't I focus on one jfc 😂)

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 “Those last few weeks were amazing. Perfect, even. Really made me think that we could have this. But she was right.” he sniffles. He thinks he’s crying, not sure when that started. “It would pass, and we’d be back to normal, and I- I don’t want Chris to witness this whole mess. Again.” 

He knows that divorce is the right thing to do. They might love each other, Eddie thinks he’ll always love her in some way, but they’re not good together. They don’t know how to be together at this point in their lives. A young, fun, teen romance was one thing. But then real life happened, and instead of figuring everything out together, growing together, learning how to live as a married couple, he left. He left, and when he came back – she left, and he doesn’t blame her for not wanting to stay married. After all this time, he’s not sure how well they even know each other anymore. When she asked for a divorce, he wasn’t happy about it, didn’t want to accept it, but now, with the possibility of her- now he can’t wait to tell her he agrees. He doesn’t know if they’ll ever get back together, he’s not sure what he wants anymore. All he does know is that their kid needs his mother. And Shannon really doesn’t deserve to go this way, or this young.

“I’m sorry.” Buck says again, squeezing Eddie’s hand. “I know how badly you wanted this to work. That- well, that sucks.” he says lamely, and Eddie almost laughs. Yeah, it does suck. This whole thing sucks. That’s too small of a word to describe how awful it actually is. And he’s just grateful to not have to go through this alone.

___

no pressure tags: @loserdiaz @diazass @elvensorceress @gayarthur @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @jesuisici33 @diazblunt @cowboy-buck @theotherluciferr @911onabc @ladydorian05 @eddiediaztho @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @honestlydarkprincess @disasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @lover-of-mine @forthewolves @wildlife4life @gayhoediaz @jeeyuns @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck

[wellfuckthisshitagain]

tease tidbit tuesday

it's 2am so it's tuesday here already, and I can't wait to post a snippet of the alive shannon fic so I'm gonna start tease tidbit tuesday today with a lil buddie moment haha I'm sooo excited for this fic, I hope it'll turn out as good as it is in my head haha

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He doesn’t know how much time it’s been, when he feels someone’s hand on his shoulder, and almost jumps. He’s sitting on the hard chair in a hospital waiting room, Buck right next to him – it’s his hand still resting on Eddie’s shoulder, while in the other he’s holding a cup of coffee, extending it to Eddie. He’s out of his uniform already, but Eddie’s not sure if their shift is over, or if Bobby just let him go early – because he knows that Buck must have insisted, that he’d come anyway, no matter the consequences, just to be there for Eddie. That’s Buck.

“Hey. Any news?” he asks, and Eddie can just curtly shake his head once. He just notices that he’s been clenching his jaw so tightly he doesn’t know if he can open his lips enough to speak right now. He doesn’t think he trusts himself not to burst out crying. He needs to keep it together for just a while longer. “Got you some coffee.” he adds when Eddie fails to take the cup from him. Eddie shakes his head again. He doesn’t think he can stomach anything right now without throwing it up. “Alright.” Buck puts the coffee cup on the floor next to his chair, his hand falling off of Eddie’s shoulder in the process, now resting on Buck’s thigh, fingers fidgeting nervously. “You wanna be left alone? I can go-” another shake of Eddie’s head. On impulse, he reaches for Buck’s hand, as if he’d leave anyway. Eddie knows he wouldn’t. They haven’t known each other long, it hasn’t even been a year, but in that short time Buck became the best friend Eddie’s ever had. He trusts him more than anyone, and he knows Buck would never leave. “Alright.” Buck breathes out, leaning back against the chair. “Just so you don’t worry, I called Carla, she’s fine staying with Chris a couple hours longer. I can go take over later, if you wanna stick around here.” he adds, and Eddie just nods, so grateful for Buck, so grateful that he cares, that he thought to check in on Eddie’s kid, when all of Eddie’s thoughts are consumed by what’s happening. He doesn’t even know what time it is, he didn’t realize Christopher already got off school. He doesn’t know what he’d do without Buck.

(...) Buck lets Eddie hold his hand, even when his grip tightens and he squeezes it as hard as he can to keep from crying – which he doesn’t notice he’s doing until he looks down and sees his white knuckles. Buck doesn’t complain, just smiles reassuringly, and Eddie almost cries for a whole different reason. The kind of support he gets from Buck, has gotten from him since they met, the way Buck always has his back – it’s amazing, and touching, and so unlike any other relationship in Eddie’s life. He likes to think he’s reciprocating as much as he can, that he’s better at it now, that he won’t ever run again, not from Buck. Somehow, with Buck at his side, everything always seems better and brighter, and more hopeful. Even now, sitting here and waiting to hear if his wife survived the accident – Buck’s mere presence makes him allow himself to hope that maybe, just maybe she’ll be fine, even if it shouldn’t be possible, not with her injuries, not with how her heart stopped in the ambulance once already. They’d need a miracle to happen, and Eddie doesn’t think he believes in those.

___

no pressure tags: @jeeyuns @loserdiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @ladydorian05 @diazass @elvensorceress @translasso @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @thewolvesof1998 @shortsighted-owl @watchyourbuck @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @honestlydarkprincess @housewifebuck @wildlife4life @jesuisici33 @diazblunt @cowboy-buck @lover-of-mine @911onabc @giddyupbuck @theotherluciferr @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @eddiediaztho @jesuisici33 @forthewolves

[wellfuckthisshitagain]

always passing by

For @hero-in-waiting, who prompted me with "Buddie, like ships in the night - always passing by." Be careful what you wish for??

It had been a bumpy road to get here, but Chim and Maddie had finally managed to get married. Eddie nurses his beer and watches them twirl around the dance floor with a smile.

Buck drops into the seat next to him with a groan; the Man of Honor has been running around all day, desperate to make sure Maddie's wedding was perfect. He'd confided to Eddie that from what he remembered, Maddie's first wedding had been mostly their parents and Doug's work, and he was determined to give Maddie the wedding of her dreams.

Eddie's not the only one who'd wanted to snap Buck's Official Wedding Clipboard in half over the past few months, though he's pretty sure he's the only one who secretly thought it was hot when Buck got all authoritative with it.

Eddie looks over to see Buck watching the happy couple with a wistful smile on his face.

"You think we'll ever get there?" Buck asks, not taking his eyes off his sister. Eddie forces down his first reaction, which is a somewhat pathetic "I'd marry you tomorrow if you'd let me."

"Marriage? One day, maybe," he says instead. Aside from some not-always-PG fantasies inspired by Buck in a nice suit, Eddie hasn't really thought about it in years. The idea of marrying Ana had literally given him heart palpitations, and he and Marisol had called it quits long before they got to the rings phase. "What about you?" he asks, and hopes he sounds casual.

Buck laughs softly. "Man, so many times over the years. I used to daydream about my wedding to Abby," he confesses.

"Please tell me you didn't do that with Taylor," Eddie groans. Buck laughs.

"Are you ever going to stop hating her?" he asks. Eddie hopes he's being rhetorical, because the answer is no, but he's a little embarrassed to admit that. Luckily, Buck moves on.

"Nah, I never thought about Taylor. To be fair, that's because I spent half the time I knew her fantasizing about you," Buck says casually. Eddie freezes. He - he can't have heard that right, there's no way.

"Me?" he chokes out.

Buck laughs again. "Yeah, man - you know I was gone on you for ages," he says, like it's obvious, like he isn't turning Eddie's world upside down.

"You - what?" Eddie forces out. He can't breathe. Buck doesn't hear him.

"God, everyone gave me so much shit for it too," he says. "Hardest thing I ever did, getting over you, Eddie Diaz," Buck says with a grin, and -

Oh.

Well.

Eddie hadn't even realized he'd started to hope for anything until he feels it wither away into nothing.

"But you - you did," he hears himself say. Buck's grin softens.

"Yeah, of course I did. You're my best friend, Eddie, you and Chris are everything. I wasn't going to mess things up with feelings you'd never reciprocate," he says, tilting his head with that endearing curl to his lip that Eddie has dreamed about tasting.

"Yeah," Eddie says. "You're my best friend too, Buck," he says. The words taste like ash in his mouth. He feels like he's floating above his body.

"I'm going to get another drink," he says, stumbling to his feet. "You want anything?"

Maddie chooses that moment to start calling for her brother. "Nah," Buck waves him off, already focused on his sister.

Eddie backs away, watching as Buck reaches Maddie and swings her up into his arms. They're both laughing, and Chim takes it as his cue to go pull Albert onto the dance floor with them.

Eddie turns tail and flees out of the tent. He finds a corner just far enough away that he has to strain to hear the music and sinks to the ground, tugging at his tie as he goes.

He pulls his knees up to his chest. Of course I did rings in his ears.

The last time he'd felt like this, like everything he'd done had been for nothing, that he'd lost everything he'd tried to build, Buck had broken down his bedroom door like a knight in shining armor and put him back together.

Of course I did

Eddie puts his face in his hands and tries not to fall apart.

Of course I did

He fails.

[wellfuckthisshitagain]

Everything is gonna be all fun and games at the wedding until the reception, where Buck and Eddie are talking at the bar and Tommy pulls Buck away for a dance. And as they're on the dance floor, Eddie is looking at Buck and how happy he is with Tommy before deciding to turn away to ask for a drink and possibly chat with another guest.

And all the while he's looking elsewhere, Buck is looking at him from over Tommy's shoulder, longing and not even realizing.

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I was looked at, but I wasn't seen.

— Albert Camus, The Misunderstanding

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I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch

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Your nipples 🤝 my mouth

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Fox: we can't let Buck and Eddie interact, the fans will read too much into it

ABC: they already do so why not give them something to read into

Fox: the show doesn't need promoting

ABC: put the cast in front of a camera and let them say whatever the fuck they want

Fox: Maddie and Eddie are only interesting when they're traumatised

ABC: wrong again! Look at these goofballs!

Fox: Buck is the straightest straight to ever straight

ABC: *maniac giggling* he just kissed a guyyyy

Fox: ...

ABC: fuck you!

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crazy to me still how Buck decided he didn't want to correct the woman who assume Christopher is both his and Eddie's child. you literally see him make the conscious decision to let her believe that it is true, not answering right away but really taking the time to choose to do that. he even glances at his back, almost to make sure Eddie is out of ear shot before he says thank you. then he leaves all happy to know that somewhere someone thinks of them as family.

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i fully understand the "top 3 funniest emergencies" now

just look at them

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