weirdos05062017-blog

[weirdos05062017-blog]

February 2017

I work at a medical testing facility in Infectious disease. I work night shift, and every night I get something from this restaurant within my work building called "The View." I've worked here for about 2 years I've seen a lot of cooks come and go, the longest one lasted almost a year. The one last week was Franky, he was cool. The kind of guy who would tell you to smoke a bowl instead of taking any kind of pharmaceuticals.

I go in at 2230, the usual time. My shift starts at 2100 so 2230 is a good time to eat. There's usually no one there, so I ring the bell to get Franky's attention. I stood there for a second, not thinking much.

Then you.

You come ring the bell, so I jumped and looked at you. You stood there for a second and just looked at the grill, squinting your eyes. Then you said "These guys take forever huh?"

You were wearing the chef coat. I laughed so hard.

I don't remember what we talked about while you were making my food, but I know I was nervous. I remember you took a long time because we were talking and I know you wanted to keep flirting. I did too.

Eventually you gave me my food and I went to pay and then sit down. I was happily eating my buffalo wrap when I looked up and you were sitting across the room, at a table, by yourself.

I am not one to be brave. I don't talk to people first and I definitely don't normally do what I ended up doing.

I stood up, walked over, and ask if I could sit down. You said yeah, asked me my name. When I said Jordan you kind of laughed, but I know you tried to hide it. I asked you, and you showed me your name tag. Salvador. I knew I was in trouble that second.

We talked for awhile, the whole time I knew I only had a thirty minute break and I didn't care at all. You started off talking about high school, which was funny to me. You're kind of short, maybe an inch shorter than me. Right away I thought you were like 18. I'm 20, and I don't do the younger guy thing.

You ask for my Snapchat. I tell you I don't have one. You ask for my Facebook. I tell you I don't have one. You ask for my Instagram and I hesitate to give it to you, but eventually I do. You looked me up and I saw your face fall.

Yep, it said I was married. Going on about five months now. I knew the conversation died, so I went back to work. You were all I could think about.

Yeah, I was married but you made me feel more alive and more of an actual human being in less than an hour than my husband did in almost three years. I wanted you. Man, did I want you.

So I went back to the restaurant everyday for the next three weeks at the same time, hoping and praying you were taking your break so I could sit next to you and talk to you more. I might have been married, but I thought maybe we could be friends.

My husband had a girl best friend. Granted she was a die-hard, gold-star lesbian, but she was a girl. I thought there would be nothing wrong with me having a guy friend. Actually, I don't know if I really thought anything other than just how badly I wanted to be around you. Yeah come to think of it, I didn't care what my husband thought. I wanted you. I would stay faithful, but as long as I could be around you I thought I'd be fine.

But everyday I went to The View. Everyday at 2230, 2200, 2300, whatever. You were never there. You weren't cooking and you weren't on break either. I knew you still worked there, but I couldn't ever talk to you. When I realized just how desperate I was to be near you, I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt. I was married, and I wouldn't appreciate my husband doing this. So I stopped. And I got depressed. I don't know if not seeing you is what caused in entirely, but it definitely didn't help.

I craved you. I craved your energy and your light. I craved your smile and your positivity. I craved your jokes and your laughter. I just, have never craved someone so intensely.

I actually missed you, but I didn't even know you.