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gideon the ninth: what does duty do to us?

harrow the ninth: what does grief do to us?

nona the ninth: what do dogs do to us?

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Paul: Islam John: Catholicism

Paul: Spice means oil and political supremacy John: Oil means oil and climate change

Paul: The Great Houses John: The Trillionaires

Paul: 61 billion John: 10 billion

(Paul: “Amateur.” John: “Mark 12:44.”)

Paul: Sandworms John: Cows

Paul: Fremen John: Cultists

Paul: Sees the future John: Doesn't make mistakes

Paul: Nuclear strike on Arrakeen John: Nuclear strike on Melbourne

Paul: The Bene Gesserit John: One self-sacrificing¹ nun

¹ According to John. I have my suspicions.

Paul Atredes: sticks hand in pain box “I will not fear fear is the mind killer”

Nona: sticks hand in flesh dissolving blood ward {hand regenerates backwards} *SCREAMING*

#paul atreides #john gaius #the locked tomb

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Commander Wake three hundred miles up the angry/calm Z-axis.

I would like the start some discourse

#the locked tomb #Commander Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back to Reality Oops There Goes Gravity

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GtN characters playing strip poker:

Ianthe and Corona both play to lose

Isaac and Jeannemary die of embarrassment as soon as one of them loses a hand

Abigail and Magnus adjust their play to lose clothes at the same rate as each other

Palamedes wins every hand he plays

Camilla insists that each weapon is an item of clothing

Cytherea cheats by spying on Gideon's cards through Protesilaus's eyes

Gideon is so bad at it that Cytherea didn't need to cheat

Harrow is always too busy; the 2nd think poker is inconducive to discipline, and the 8th think it's immoral

Nobody ever invites Babs to play

ianthe's poker fantasy

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth

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god fell out of heaven yesterday and we all started making fun of him bc the corpse is only like 5'3''

#shortpacked #historical jesus

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this easter, let’s remember the real jesus christ

#easter #shortpacked

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Thing is, if John had an only slightly different background, that's exactly how Alecto would look.

as a contiuation of shed-be-catholic, i reflected on my my mormon friends in HS and decided harrow would be a repressed weeaboo

#the locked tomb #john gaius #alecto the first

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as always thinking about how the locked tomb series presents the tension between love and connection and individuation -- the tragedy in wanting to be one, and needing to be separate. (or perhaps vice versa. it's a bitch of a thing, being alive. it's a bitch of a thing, being dead. it's a real bitch of a thing, being stuck inbetween.) the way this includes the ways we can be severed from and long for our own selves; how easily body and soul come adrift from each other and cannot become familiar again as before, until the adriftness is our only home. anyway how are you guys this morning

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why do we have butt cheeks i dont understand why did we evolve this way

what use do butt cheeks have 

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Okay, so, uh, bad, uh, bad news. Bad bad news, we took the kid out of the Omelas hole, yeah. And it turns out that the reason that the utopia was contingent on keeping the kid suffering in the Omelas hole, is that, well, this is pretty awkward to say out loud, but it turns out that the kid really enjoyed suffering in the hole. He specifically enjoyed suffering, in holes and only suffering in holes. Yeah it was actually secretly one of those Aesop's about how utopia will inevitably be dependent on our ability to accept and accommodate lifestyle choices we don't understand. I mean he hasn't said anything, he's clearly trying to be gracious about it, but he's trying the sailing and horseriding and all the other boilerplate utopia shit and you can tell he's kind of just going through the motions, you can tell he really wants to be back in the hole, suffering. He's really hashing the vibe and now everyone is pissed at us

#the ones who walk away from omelas

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“there she was — it was her, the girl in her dream.”

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth #hot sauce #kiriona gaia #ianthe naberius #new rho

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Mercymorn as the human actor.

“Gideon the ninth should adapted to a tv show!” “Gideon the ninth should be adapted to a game!” Youre all wrong, it should be adapted to a muppet movie.

#the locked tomb #the muppets #mercymorn the first

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I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!

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Puzzlingly it has 71 reviews and a 4.42 rating on Goodreads despite not having been published yet.

Personally I think it will be published in 12,100 AD or so, contemporary with the events it describes.

if you’re not on twitter (good for you first of all) i’m here to inform you that locked tomb twitter is losing their minds today because google says alecto will be published in 2029 but goodreads is back to saying 2024.

this is the harrow the ninth of publication timelines. is this how it happens? how does it happen? how WILL it happen?

i am almost positive there will be some time fuckery in atn so this is a fitting way for it to come into the world

#the locked tomb #alectopause

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Kylix Ianthe and Melongena Corona are also kinds of sea snail.

Why am I only now finding out that a TRIDENTARIUS is a sea snail and THIS is what it looks like???

Etymologically, Tridentarius dentatus means "toothy trident" but trident on itself means three teeth so the snail is named basically "toothy three-tooth"

"It’s not unusual to find them as pairs"

Oh really. I never would have guessed.

Feeling really stupid rn, all this time I thought Ianthe and Corona were named for a trident 🔱 , not a conch.

#the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #coronabeth tridentarius

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Both solid candidates but when you get right down to it, the difference between them is: I want Ianthe to win.

Quarterfinals, Poll 4

Propaganda under the cut

John Gaius, The Emperor Undying, God

Gaslight: When he resurrected his best friends he took away all their memories and gave them new names. He never reveals to them that he was the one who killed everyone on earth in the first place. He really plays up the "benevolent God" act Gatekeep: As a God, everyone is vying for his Favour and he is the one who gets to decide who gets it. He also doesnt share his knowledge of how to become immortal without killing your best friend. Girlboss: Literally made himself God. Never strayed from his ten thousand year old plan of Revenge. Rules an entire solar system and is colonizing more.

Jod is a frequent gaslight and gatekeep, however he falls more under the girlflop the girlboss. All of his plans go wrong but goddamn if he's not trying. Horrible ideas from an even worse person. Whent above gasligting and just straight up wiped his friends memories. Gatekeeping the knowledge of the universe. Had a child he didn't know about for 18 years and only found out cause she showed up dead(she's fine now(mostly)), girlboss move. Had a threesome with two of the gaslit friends, this would be less gross if he wasn't middle-aged. Gatekeeping the planets(I cannot explain this one). Ressurected humanity but also killed a lot of cows(girlboss). Put the soul of the earth in a woman and then put her in prison(but not before killing half of the amigos). Anticaptalist, bisexual, father. He has babygirl energy

Killed entirety of humanity and the whole solar system save a handful of billionaires and their victims, then resurrected the sun and a select handful of humans, wiped their memories, and established a religion in which he is god for over ten thousand years. Also an ex-tumblrina (probably) and goth twitch streamer (definitely).

Killed almost all of humanity, the sun and the solar system and then resurrected some of them deliberately without their memories and didn’t tell them that he killed them in the first place, and also told them that he was god. Renamed his friends after killing and resurrecting them. Set up imbalanced and toxic power dynamics among his inner circle that led to half of them either killing themselves or being killed by the other in each pair in order for half the group to become immortal saints, something he didn’t tell them wasn’t actually necessary to reach that sort of state. Lied to the surviving friends about why the ghosts of the planets in the solar system were hunting them, he told them they were after all of them because of the way they’d become saints which meant they could never go home, but they were actually only ever after him. Also because of this lie he was able to manipulate them into fighting the ghosts and dying in the process, saying that they would kill him which would destroy the sun, when actually they couldn’t kill him and also the ghosts were after just him so everybody would be fine if they just stopped hanging out with him (this is true in a LOT of senses actually). When he decided to get new immortal saints he specifically asked for the heirs of the houses, who were mostly younger in the 16-22 range and therefore easy to manipulate especially after killing their best friend (again, he knows that isn’t necessary and is asking it of a group of teens/young adults). When one of the people who was successful appears to have done it wrong, he pretends to be a mentor or father figure to her face (knowing that that is something extremely important to her) while having one of his surviving original friends try to kill her without her knowing he was behind that. On the girlboss front, I think he kinda thinks he’s a girlboss more than he actually is one, but he’s so good at the gaslight bit he’ll have you believing that too.

Ianthe Tridentarius

She is trying so hard to be the main character by lying and manipulating her sister, her cavalier, her mentor, her ?love interests? (Spoiler???) And also god. Not sure how it's working out for her but she does love to lie and manipulate

Worstie Ianthe is the DEFINITION of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She is one of a set of necromancer twins that are the heirs to their houses rule. Except wait, only she is a necromancer and she has spent their entire lives doing necromancy for the both of them. She is constantly mean to their cavalier, Naberius, who she occasionally nibbles on like a chew toy, before eventually killing and eating him to ascend to sainthood. She goes to gods spaceship with another woman who ascended to sainthood who she has a crush on, this other woman is like…. Both incredibly mentally unwell and also haunted by at least 211 ghosts. Ianthes method of flirting with her? Gaslighting her about the corpse that keeps moving around and hiding under her bed. For no real reason tbh. She is clearly plotting to overthrow god, and at the moment that consists of her manipulating him while he’s too sad about his long term partners betraying him and subsequently exploding to really care. She dresses in terrible outfits and makes soup by burning onions to the bottom of a pot, putting meat in and some vegetables and then it doesn’t taste like anything so she puts in a few teaspoons of salt so it tastes like a few teaspoons of salt. She had her crush amputate her arm and regrow her a new one out of bone and it’s one of the horniest things I’ve read in my life.

"Gaslight = told her lobotomized (she helped), schizophrenic girlobsession that there was no corpse under their bed, even tho there totally was. Gatekeep = girl did NOT share the secret to god-like ascension. She kept that shit to herself until it was time to eat her boytoy, and by then everyone knew already. Girlboss = she has a non-necromancer twin sister, and literally Everyone thinks they r both necromancers because Ianthe is so good at it. She reverse engineered ascending to the aforementioned ascension without even completing any of the supplementary tasks. She held her own in a fight against a 10k year old lyctor. She becomes the figurehead of her entire empire. "

She uses a man as a chewtoy in the first book, literally gaslights the protagonist of the second book about a corpse, and elder-abuses God when he gets depressed in the third book. Nobody is doing it like her.

Dives headfirst with no regrets while basically laughing and covered in blood into murdering her cavalier once she realizes what the gothic locked room mystery/competition leads to while everyone else is questioning it, helps perform lobotomy on harrow so she doesn't remember the person she loves, manipulates everyone to get to the top

idk just everything about her

her relationship with her sister is incredibly Bad, she fosters codependency and views Corona(the sister) as an extension of herself. This does not stop her from keeping up the con that Corona actually has magic (She doesn't, it was always just Ianthe) for 22ish years and every single person who interacts with them falls for it. She killed a man against his will (most dying for this purpose specifically go willingly) and she consumed him and she will be burning his soul for eternity. She's completely repulsive and still somehow incredibly hot.

she takes advantage of the fact that the main character is prone to hallucinations. at one point she gaslights the mc into believing that the corpse under her bed isn't real just because she can. she reverse engineered a set of very complex trials on her own without anyone realizing she had the skills to complete them normally. she's also babysat god through his drunk and pathetic era.

Artist: @midnightcrows

#the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #john gaius

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I assume a proportion of gems sold as 'real' are actually synthesized too. Why dig them out of the ground when you can make them in a lab, forge a bit of paperwork, and sell them for hundred of times what they cost to produce?

Weird peeve time. Calling lab grown gemstones “fake” is stupid because it’s the same shit just not formed naturally. An artificially grown diamond is the same shit as a natural diamond it is the exact same material bro it’s all fuckign carbon