waning-phase

[waning-phase]

I don't want to be bad or gross please let me be as normal as I can get please tell me this is normal and I'm just freaking out over nothing please tell me I'm not a freak or disgusting or wrong for being like this

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

This is a stupid fucking problem to have it's ridiculous it's obscene am I just making too big a deal out of it but I can feel it I always feel it why am I like this god dammit fucking piece of shit why is it like this if it was just made up it'd be hilarious but no this is real and uncomfortable and I want to be this way but not like this not like this this is wrong I'm so tired I'm pissed I'm lonely I want it so bad I can never let anyone know I feel this way why is my sense of shame so utterly fucked I don't like being like this

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

nobody's interacting with cider :(

#less serious vent but still a vent yknow #i mean it's not like i couldnt have kept posting but i was REALLY hoping people would try to get more info out of em #crescent waning

[waning-phase]

I dunno if this will help, but maybe you need to hear this :]

You're not a burden. It's okay to feel bad, angry, upset, etc. Feeling the bad emotions is normal and doesn't make you any less of a good and wonderfully kind person bc of it.

It's gonna be okay. You're doing great. You're doing amazing. You're doing the best you can.

You have people who care deeply for you, even in your low moments.

You're loved.

thank you

i really appreciate it

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

On one hand, I never want to be a burden to people

And on the other hand, I feel like I'm falling apart and there's no way I can keep myself together forever

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

You'd think that getting it out of my system would help but no, now I've got a headache and I don't really feel any better

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

I shouldn't be trying to take care of people but I am

I want to be a good friend

I want to make them feel better

But I want someone to tell me that it'll all be okay too

I'm fucking 20, I shouldn't be in a position where someone's life is depending on me filling in for another person who's also trying their damnedest to keep them alive too

I shouldn't have to calm someone down from an absolutely horrible panic attack multiple times just because they can't detach themselves well enough from Pokemon Tumblr roleplay for god's sake

I feel like an asshole for saying it but I'm tired and stressed and lonely and I want to have a clear conscience without something gnawing at the back of my head because I can't help but volunteer myself

I'm tired

I'm so fucking tired

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

How is it possible that I can be whiny and suffer in silence at the same time

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

I'm mad and I'm not in the right about it and that just frustrates me further and I'm giving myself a headache

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

i definitely relate.. especially to the being bad at reaching out thing. i wish i had some way to help but idk how to deal with it either lol

That's okay. Part of me posting these is to get it out of my system anyways.

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

I wonder if the reason I post these things is because I'm hoping for sympathy or if I'm hoping someone has advice, if not an answer

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

Lonely lately

I really appreciate having people to talk to online but I really miss spending time with people in person

I'm also terrible at reaching out. I'd probably feel less like I'm failing at having fun with my blogs if I tried to send asks, but it's fucking hard for me for some reason

I'm a bit of a mess

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

24 hours of hope left

God I hope

#i might not be okay soon #just a warning #crescent waning

[waning-phase]

wasnt the point of this to be hidden..? i dont entirely understand why ppl not following it is a bad thing

if anything id think itd be the opposite

anyway.. if u do want more ppl to see it .. i dont see how it could possibly be rude to promote it or anything

..also i get it.. asking for help sucks and is scary and idk how to do it ..

I don't know anymore honestly

I'm exhausted and just doing stuff kinda at random at this point

I like reassurance but I hate asking for it

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

Hey man, it's your blog, I'm not gonna tell you what to do with it

But you don't need to even promote it, sometimes just knowing that your words are out of your sistem helps

I guess

I feel like I'm just hoping someone would find this and check in on me since I can't ever ask people

It's probably not healthy but it's all I feel like I can do

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

I'm surprised you three are even following this blog

I dont know why I even attempted to promote this blog in the first place

#crescent waning

[waning-phase]

I could just make a single post on main to bring this blog up

But that would be horrible

I'd feel like an asshole

Nobody needs to deal with my shit

I don't know if I can say I'm not worth it, but it's more hard to say I am

#crescent waning