walnutwhiskers

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In these parts, they say, if you are lucky when wandering the wastes between city and town, you may encounter a truly exemplary creature. Its skin, like that of the rhinoceros, plates its body in geometric folds; its feet are like four enormous sand-dollars, pleasing to the eye and rapid in their movement. Its snout is broad with the same placid strength as a great ox and its breath is heavy and warm as the same, but its eyes flash so like those of a lion at night that no traveler could believe it truly tame for long. The name of this beast? Toyota Corolla.

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okay so here what you're going to do

get a little stoned

grab the leftover mashed potatoes from your fridge

crack two eggs into it and add as much shredded cheese as you want

stir until smooth

eyeball flour until it's dough-like

heat veg oil in a pan

spoon mashed potatoes into the hot oil

try on both sides

drain on a paper towel covered plate

sprinkle salt

cool

then eat

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Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

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I just....I just learned that there's a word in the English language...for when you run into someone to hug them with all the enthusiasm and strength you have....I learned that it's called glomp.

My God, English has so many words to describe physical intimacy, I'm in love

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Prison guards: Iroh? Escape? Ha! That weak, senile old man couldn’t escape if we rolled a red carpet to the door!

Iroh alone in his cell:

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KATE MACDOWELL / CLAY PIGEONS / 2018

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For all my fellow little treat lovers!

This 8 page zine is available in my shop so you can be ready for whenever you need a quick brownie in a mug ;)

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Pin for survivors

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bonkbonkbonkbonkbonk

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WAIT. Wait wait WAIT.

poltergeists:

push things off tables

break delicate objects for fun

in general just enjoy moving and destroying stuff for pleasure I guess

make loud disturbing noises in the middle of the night

sometimes poke or bite people, depending on the myth

are invisible aka no one knows what they look like

poltergeists are just the ghosts of rambunctious housecats

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still amazes me that by season 45 or whatever, Supernatural was being exclusively watched by delusionally hopeful women with flamingo-salinity tolerance for bad writing and the creators still couldn’t pander to them because maybe there was 1 straight guy out there still accidentally watching it

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the absolute most melted-brain take from anti-boycott goofs is the inevitable 'oh you dont like THIS where were you for THAT?' i dont know maybe because THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS FROM DIFFERENT PLACES IN DIFFERENT AMOUNTS AT DIFFERENT TIMES

i know this is usually bad faith argument from conservative scoundrels but i see others trot it out sometimes and it is biggest eyeroll. the ‘all things need to mean the same amount to you at all times or you are WRONG AND ILLOGICAL about your convictions’ crowd is such a mess

‘youre vegetarian now? where were you in 4th grade when you had cheeseburger?’ ‘oh you boycott this ai thing? where were you when other thing youve never even heard of happened?’ absolutely braindead trot. sorry devil its ok for buds to start taking action they didnt take before

goofballs: 'HOW DARE YOU START CARING ABOUT THIS THING? THE ONLY LEGITIMATE BOYCOTTS DEFY SPACE AND TIME EXISTING IN A PERPETUAL STATE OF UNDERSTANDING EVENLY DISTRIBUTED ACROSS ALL TIMELINES ENDLESSLY INTO BOTH FUTURE AND PAST'

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My brain: You have so many tight deadlines. So many things on your weekly schedule. So many important jobs. You have to get important work done!!!

My hands:

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This made me so fucking angry I have to inflict it on all of you.

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Honestly, I would like to do more of those portraits… If you reblog this with a selfie I might pull your photo to use as reference!

I prefer no filter/no makeup & interesting expressions. 👌

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5 year anniversary of the miette post \o/

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Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.