walkonandtwo

[walkonandtwo]

A"big" hello,

a "big" hello, a handshake, and silver dollars . . .

Good morning to all you good people. I want to share this little story . . . last night I put some of Papa's old silver dollars and half dollars on the table and left them . . . how good it felt this morning to wake up with Papa close by . . .

Papa served on the tribal council at different times in his life. I learned this during his last term in the early '60s . . .

"Get up early and face the big job ahead of you. They put me in office to help them . . ." Papa sat in those long meetings and voted as he should, but he was one of those old time councilmen who went among the people. He loved to walk around town and go into the houses, especially Moccasin Flat. "They need the most help." He would knock on the door, offer them a "big" hello and a handshake. Then he would reach in his pocket and give them a silver dollar or two. "Get something with this." They were grateful. That made Papa proud of his job. He told all seven of us . . . "They're our people . . . get to know who they are . . . and claim them." Some days Papa took us with him . . . he smiled and told my mother, "Today I am going to show them off!" In that moment we felt honored.

Mama was reserved and accepted her place at home. She knew the old people respected her husband, and she was proud of him. However, there were times Mama thought Papa was too generous . . . he left with money in his pocket but came home broke everyday. Papa told her, "To be on the Council you have to be the richest man on the reservation . . . and then the poorest man on the reservation. The people need help." And then he might ask her to bake a loaf of bread for that old woman at Moccasin Flat. Mama would just shake her head . . . but she always baked the bread.

Those are the gifts my grandparents taught me as a child . . . "claim your people" . . . and have a warm home to come home to . . . because so many others did not have that.

Well, enjoy this day . . . time to claim our people and . . . maybe even bake a loaf of bread.

[walkonandtwo]

"Tough little town"

By 1913-1914 the Blackfeet Agent held firm control of the reservation. How he disbursed rations lay at the center of his power . . . he could either cut back or withhold rations at will to keep his wards in control. The agent could also grant or cancel allotments and leases. As for the Council . . . it could make a lot of noise and blow up a big cloud of dust, but that was about it.

In 1914 Special Agent Charles Ellis was called in to investigate several issues of immorality, before they got out of hand. To assist him in the delicate matter, Ellis contracted Elsie (Eaton) Newton, Educator for Indian Services. Newton had already made a name for herself as a serious, dedicated federal servant. Ellis and Newton conducted the most rigorous investigation to date and filed an extensive report.

Here are some of the report's main concerns: [names were listed and annotated]

1) Seven full bloods (Heavy Gun, Wolf Eagle, Whiteman, Looking for Smoke, Curley Bear, Chief Crow, and Heavy Runner) were cited for continuing the illicit practice of plural wives. No matter that these men were respected elders in the tribe . . . Ellis and Newton recommended they be reprimanded, counseled, and, if need be, punished for their reprehensible behavior.

2) Three men (Eddie Big Beaver, Henry No Bear, and Walter Mountain Chief) were cited for "premeditated" adultery. Ellis and Newton said the Agent and Church must intervene and disrupt this vile practice. Newton added that these criminals had already committed "fruits of their folly" and would continue to do so if they were not arrested and jailed.

3) At least 33 additional men were charged with living and cohabitating in a series of "entangled" households. In other words, these men would move in, impregnate the woman, and move on to the next house. Ellis told the Agent he must employ a 5-person morality police force to clean up the mess. Newton insisted that a woman be a member of the force to handle the women who were party to this heinous lifestyle.

4) Louis Marceau, Chief of Police, and Louis Monroe were given particular attention. A group of disgruntled witnesses told Ellis and Newton that the Agent should control his police chief and leave the people alone. The group testified that in a bizarre twist of fate Marceau and Monroe casually swapped wives (Short Robe and Mountain Chief) without any good reason and suffered no consequence, which was a gross violation of any moral code.

5) Finally, Newton demanded the Agent employ a squad of field matrons to patrol the town and set the many wandering, lost girls on the right path. Newton dictated a small sermon into the report: "Field matrons prevent them being subjected to the dangers of seductive temptations, and while the call of nature may be stronger in the Indian girl than the average white, that, if true, shows the more need of preventive measures to protect her chastity."

6) Ellis and Newton summed up their report by stating that despite the many young men who openly live with a succession of girls and the many loose girls who bring false paternity charges against men of means to entrap them into marriage . . . Browning is a "tough little town" that can be saved by strict management and an active police force.

The Ellis-Newton Report is grossly insulting by any standard and should offend everyone. But the real intent is much more sinister than mere insult. The Agent, prompted by Washington, wanted to see how far into the corner he could push the tribal members . . . thus guaranteeing absolute and perpetual control of the Blackfeet reservation.

[walkonandtwo]

Blackfeet Politics

The last couple of weeks have been very volatile in Tribal Politics. The biggest story is Kink Davis getting kicked off the BTBC because he got busted for meth and fentanyl pills.

I attended the kick Kink Davis off the Tribal Council meeting so I got to see a line of women speakers who got up to the microphone and told the BTBC all the problems their families have with illegal drugs. Several women cried because those pills killed their relative. The majority of the people in the Conference room wanted Kink Davis removed immediately because he was part of the town's drug problem.

When it was my turn I told the crowd that we needed a long term plan. The plan I support is building Police sub-stations in all reservation towns so residents can have on-duty police to protect life and private property. The Police sub-stations with on-duty police would reverse Tribal Policy where in 1972 the BTBC closed all rural jails. Fifty plus years without on-duty police in the reservation's rural towns has created a criminal haven where felons, foreigners and sovereign citizens control reservation streets.

The lack of on-duty policing in the reservation's rural towns and villages has created a living environment that is similar to Domestic Terrorism in 3rd world countries where outlaw gangs use targeted forms of violence to influence local politics and daily life styles inside a community. Domestic Terrorism is motivated by ideology for the purpose of influencing politics by communicating fear in the day to day relations in the broader general public. Political change on the reservation includes civilian targets, changing policies for government agencies, secret social laws like never hire a full blood and verbally attacking symbols of the Indian State.

Frontier law still exists on the reservation and is running the shop because there are no police in our rural towns. Freeman on the Land like Frontier law because it follows the Natural Order so they do not have to follow Tribal, State or Federal laws. Frontier law is kept in place by an active group of citizens who use social relationships as official membership in a domestic militia whose goal is to replace the indigenous population. A Freeman on the Land domestic militia is similar to White Supremacists groups that are self-radicalized by ideological conditioning with an organizational mission statement to replace mainstream institutions, cultures and laws with new social, commercial and political relationships that enable their group to physically control a specific geographic region.

In all American towns, the local governments has 5 public institutions. These public institutions are a jail, a school, a hospital, a post office and city hall. Because reservation towns do not have on-duty policing our towns only have 4 of these public institutions. Towns without on-duty police is one of the reasons why the Drug Trade is so big on the reservation. Long term social investment in tribal jails and on-duty police patrolling the streets in all reservation is a direct way to taking back main street from drug gangs and solving the reservation's drug problem.

A couple of days later I talked to Kink Davis and he told me he was going to resign from the Tribal Council. I wished him luck and then I asked him if he could explain what was happening with the Tribe's new Electricity company. Kink said the Electricity company and Two Medicine Water are suppose to be part of a new Utility department. Kink also said the Tribe still needed to take Two Medicine Water back from Siyeh.

Besides the update on the Tribe's Electricity company, I also was trying to find out about the status of the Tribe's allocated water right flowing out of Sherburne dam. I wrote a letter to the BTBC and told them that they needed to find out how much the Operation and Maintenance (O&M) fee are for the Blackfeet Tribe's allocated water right? The Federal government (BIA) is legally required to charge water users including the Tribe and it's allocated water right. Not paying the O&M fees risk the loss of the water allocation because non-use is forfeiting the water right by default. After the Tribe pays the O&M fees, the Tribe can Water Market its water allocation and make some money. I was told the O&M fees needed to by paid by April 2.

Because there were a specific attempt to illegally Terminate the Federal Status for Treaty Indians (Section 6 of the Blackfeet Constitution "Termination of Supervisory Powers") caused by and assisted by an Interior Department's sanctioned election of the New 2017 Blackfeet Constitution, the Federal Courts will have to address the legality of the Water Compact. The Water Compact is the companion document to the failed New Blackfeet Constitution document.

The Water Compact still has legal language that eliminates the ownership rights of Tribal members by changing the party holding the Treaty Right that is protected by the US Constitution and the Blackfeet Treaty with definition 48. Definition 48 identified tribal officers, agencies and departments as the owners of the reservation's natural resources not the members. It also says in Section 17, subsection J of the Water Compact that No per capita distributions and No portion of the Trust Fund will be given to the membership.

Stopping the members from retaining Legal Standing guaranteed by Treaty or stopping them from financially benefitting from the Water Compact is why I filed a legal brief in Federal Court. Besides getting No per capita money from the Water Deal, many local activists tried to amend the Water Compact because the Compact suspended all uses (domestic, agriculture and commercial) for 15 years under Deferred Use status. We also wanted ownership rights to the Water Delivery system that includes dams, canals, reservoirs and any secondary distribution system located on the reservation just like the Flathead did with Kerr dam.

Because the Water Compact only gave the Tribe ownership rights to Lee creek and Willow creek, we tried to get changes that exercised the entire Treaty Right to basin 40 and 41 as well as exercising the Tribe's International Rights to the St. Mary's and Milk rivers. Fines and future User Fees for Current Water Users for the illegal capture, impoundment and use of the Tribe's legal entitlement to the reservation's water resources is another amendment we wanted so the Water Compact would be a fair deal for Tribal members. Even Joe McKay is now writing articles telling the members that Tribal workers are getting rich by illegally spending Water Rights money.

I also went to the office at the start of the week and has a brief conversation with the Chairman about Kink Davis. He told me that Kink had resigned so there was no need for a big meeting to kick him off the Council. He then pointed to the sign up sheet that was pasted on the wall and said it costed %500 to be on the list.

I asked the Chairman why the Candidate's Fee was so high? He said because the Council has absolute power the Council made the decision on the Candidates Fee just like it did with BTBC salaries (The current salary for the BTBC were increased by fifty thousand dollars so the Council could be paid as much as the Councilmen from other Montana tribes without following the Plans of Operations document). I thought it was strange that the Chairman would refer to the Council in the third person when the gossip on the street will identify every individual who voted for every scam that has taken place in Tribal Government including this particular Special Election. I also know that the high Candidate's Fee is classified as Voter Suppression because it discriminates against 95% of the eligible members that could legally seek public office. Voter Suppression and illegal Representation against Treaty Indians violates the Indian Civil Rights act and the US Civil Rights act.

Transparency and Accountability are the legal foundation of the Fiduciary Duty of all public servants who act on the behalf of the Indian Ward. This breach of the Fiduciary Duty is why the history books call the Crooks in Indian Government as the Blackfeet Mafia. I call the modern day Crooks as a Criminal Cabal because they are a Secret Group that are making rules and business deals that are unknown to the Tribal members that direct effect the Tribe's economic activities and the community's social norms. An example of making new social norms is escorting me from several off-reservation Water Compact meetings because the BTBC did not want me at the meeting. Secret Tribal Government meetings violate Federal law especially if they are making plans to Terminate Federal status for Treaty Indians.

Having a mid-term Special Election is different than all the times before when the replacement for a Councilman that was kicked off the Council was appointed or were the second place winner. We even had a year when the Blackfeet had two Tribal Councils. The renegade Council were all political appointments. I always felt sorry for Cheryl Little Dog who got legally elected but only got to serve for a few months. I was told she had access to the books so she had to be replaced to protect the slush funds and crooked business contracts.

When I was starting out in Blackfeet politics I was told the people want Blackfeet Council representatives to be educated men and women so they can not be fooled by the Whiteman. If I could get the Cree vote, my training in public administration, public policy and Land law is exactly the kind of background education a modern Tribal leader needs in today's political world because the training enables you to write legal briefs, Indian Policy position papers and business plans. Professional training is also why most office workers think twice before they become part of a fraudulent business deal.

BTBC representatives elected based on being a personality like Will Rogers or Alice Cooper is not what the old people wanted in a modern Indian leader. A Personality based Tribal Council representative will always try to make friends with everybody in the room so nobody will look at their education or speech. The BTBC has both the silent types and the talkative types so your communication style needs to change with each member with special attention on those representatives who are accomplices in a particular business deal.

Kink being busted for drugs showed members that the reservation needs to find real solutions to crime on the reservation. Police sub-stations in all reservation towns and villages is a legitimate way to control crime and the drug trade on the reservation. If you have on-duty police most of the public social behavior rules will be followed by most of the residents of the reservation. Without on-duty policing the reservation will continue to be a criminal haven for felons, criminal gangs and lawless behavior. On-duty policing is the long term government investment we need to start right now so we can control lawless behavior and the reservation's drug problem because we all want a safe place to live.

[walkonandtwo]

[walkonandtwo]

St. Marie, Montana: Past, Present, Future

By: Ryan Gamboa

Posted at 5:59 PM, Jan 30, 2023

and last updated 8:27 AM, Jan 31, 2023

Spectral, uncanny, abandoned. Only those who reside or visited St. Marie, Montana would know the feeling.

For those that occupy the dilapidated Glasgow Air Force Base, home would be a better description. “I had a friend come visit and she said that it was so quiet here that you could hear the worms pass gas… we’ve always enjoyed our life here.”

When the snow flies, an estimated 250 people reside in St. Marie. Around the Ides of March, 500 flock and there is no “Beware” sign.

Elinor Lindsay, a resident of 33 years lives on the base year-round.

“Your friend’s, kind of, become your family, because you're usually not going to be stationed where your family is.” The wife of a retired United States airman, originates from Long Island, New York. Spending time stationed throughout the south and southern Great Plains, moving to St. Marie was perfect, for the pair.

“It was marketed to military veterans.” she explained.

A once thriving and prominent military base – sits as a curiosity to those who hear the stories.

It’s tough to know what an important role the base played in the Soviet Cold War. Much of the history, vanished, along with the service members who were stationed there. Historian for the 341st Missile Wing at Malmstrom Air Force Base, Troy Hallsell, has a brief understanding of its placement during World War II.

“The Army Corps of Engineers came in to build Malmstrom Air Force Base. It also built smaller bases in Cut Bank, Lewistown, and Glasgow.”

The United States Air Force was founded in 1947, almost exactly two years after the end of the second world war. The Glasgow site was an Army Air Base, a bomber training site along with other bases in Cut Bank and Lewistown. “The bombers would take off from their respective locations… if their destination was Cleveland that day, they would take off, form up and fly to their destination and turn around… and land back at their bases,” Hallsell said. The combination of Cutbank, Lewistown, Great Falls, and Glasgow helped support the B-17 bomber training mission that lasted in Montana for under a year time period. Between the heyday of the Glasgow Base, the United States was going through a transitional period of enemies; between the Korean War and the Vietnam Conflict. Command Historian, Brian Laslie from the United States Air Force Academy explains, “The Western powers versus the Soviet Union. The United States, Britain, France, and Canada versus the Soviet Union. We end up with that that bipolar world, with the United States and the Soviet Union.”

MTN NewsSt. Marie, Montana

A new threat was ahead for the allies, especially from the north. From the bases inception in 1957 to is decommission in the late 1960’s, St. Marie was imperative to fending off a Soviet Attack. “The alarm goes out. They would launch from Glasgow across the border, heading into Canada, and they would intercept Soviet bombers as they came across the poles.” Laslie said. As the Cold War clash progressed the 476 Fighter Group and 13th Fighter Interceptor Squadron was disbanded from Glasgow Air Force Base. The 13th Fighter Interceptor Squadron flew F101 and F101B Voodoo aircraft, single or double seater planes. The Air Force then commissioned a bombardment wing, which equipped B-52 bombers and KC-135 refuelers. What the Air Force would call “detach and disperse” which places bombing fleets at numerous bases rather than at one.

“If there was a World War three scenario in Fairchild (Washington state) was destroyed. Not all of its bombers would be destroyed, right? There would still be 15 at Glasgow. 15 at another base or 15 at another base.” Glasgow Air Force base had a short tenure in its commission. Leta Godwin, Historian at the Valley County Museum gave a tour of the dilapidated homes on the west side of the base. “This is one of the old houses for the military people. Some live in fourplexes and duplexes around. Some of them have sold and people live in them, and others are just, abandoned.” The base was built to last, even in its disarray. Laslie explained that many of the airmen station at Glasgow were high ranking officers. The homes and amenities were top of the line. If an attack from the Soviets over the poles were to carry out, it would surely be a one-way mission. The Air Force wanted to ensure that those risking their life for the betterment of their country, had a comfortable set up.

Residents of St. Marie and surrounding areas have speculated the current use of the airfield. Some say its home to “nukes,” others say, “aliens,” and the more plausible reason, testing and training for aircraft unreleased to the public.

What we do know, is that Boeing purchased the airfield and is operated 24/7 by MARCO, Montana Aviation Research Company. Guarding restricted areas throughout the property and keeping trespassers from advancing past posted markers. “There was a couple times they allowed people to come, and they were practicing parachuting and stuff.” Elinor Lindsay said.

For those that reside on the property, the term, “ghost town” doesn’t take away from the fact that St. Marie is home.

“You know someone who can remember Glasgow Air Force Base as a child, to them, you know, ‘Hey, I lived on Glasgow Air Force Base. This was something for me. It's always been home.’” Laslie said

Lindsay adding laughing, “As long as my house lasts as long as I do, that’s all I can ask for.”

[walkonandtwo]

Montana OPI wants to add a penalty for teachers who violate sex ed requirements

BY: KEILA SZPALLER - JANUARY 7, 2023 9:21 AM

A teacher who fails to give parents and guardians advance notice of “human sexuality instruction” may be punished if the Montana Office of Public Instruction turns a legislative priority into a signed bill.

As proposed by OPI, educators who don’t alert parents within 48 hours of related lessons or events would be subject to a “gross neglect of duty” penalty.

OPI spokesperson Brian O’Leary said Friday the agency that oversees Montana public schools is still seeking a sponsor to carry a bill with such language.

The language OPI drafted would amend legislation from the 2021 session that requires a school to provide parents at least 48 hours notice if they are teaching “or otherwise providing information about” human sexuality.

Among other changes, OPI requests the addition of a “violation” section, which identifies administrative penalties for educators as a letter of reprimand, suspension, license revocation, or denial of teaching certificate, required by Montana law.

O’Leary said due process would be in place for the teacher; the Montana Board of Public Education would determine the actual disciplinary action through a hearing.

He said the violation section focuses on license discipline and is needed because “a penalty mirrors the responsibility in the bill.”

“Superintendent (Elsie Arntzen) has spoken to many parents and school districts around the state as well as the School Board Association on the implementation of the current language,” O’Leary said in an email. “She also spoke with the sponsor of the bill on the intent of the language. These discussions led the superintendent to pursue amendments to the bill for clarification.”

The Montana School Boards Association could not immediately be reached for comment Friday afternoon.

The bill that passed in 2021 defined “human sexuality instruction” as including a long list of items, such as human sexual anatomy, intimate relationships, gender identity, contraception and other subjects.

The law applies not just to teaching, but to “otherwise providing information about” human sexuality.

In its draft language, OPI also requests that schools provide parental notice when students, not just educators and administrators, offer human sexuality materials in curriculum or at an event or assembly.

Additionally, the language would require notification no more than 10 days prior to the event or lesson — in addition to the current requirement to notify parents “no less than 48 hours” in advance.

Superintendent Micah Hill of Kalispell Public Schools said an opt-out policy has always been in place for sex education in middle school and high school. (He said elementary schools aren’t affected in a significant way.)

In 2021, SB 99 flew under the radar a bit. He said it wasn’t enacted right away, and schools didn’t recognize the impact it would have at the classroom level at first.

But since it took effect, he said schools are in touch with parents more frequently.

“We’re communicating more regularly what’s going on within our classrooms, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” Hill said.

However, he said the legislation is based on a “manufactured crisis in education” that isn’t applicable in Montana, and as such, it’s “a little bit of an overreach on the part of the legislature.”

Unless it’s challenged, he said the law might be something schools live with. He said administrators such as himself aren’t heavily affected, but the legislation has shifted a burden onto teachers.

For example, he said an English teacher presenting “Romeo and Juliet” now wants to know if the lesson requires advanced notice: “There is a love scene in the play. Does that constitute sex education?”

And he said government instructors will teach “mock Congress” and request students present draft bills. Since abortion is in the news, he said, a student may want to present a mock bill to restrict abortion in Montana: “Where does that put the teacher?”

He said OPI hasn’t given specific guidance, and lawyers have tried to do so on a case by case basis: “We’re just left to figure it out on our own.”

He said the attorneys’ interest is to uphold the intent of the law and reduce liability for the district, and it hasn’t been a huge issue in Kalispell.

“(But) there’s a nuisance factor to it,” Hill said.

O’Leary said draft language has been sent to legislators. OPI’s changes do not seek to more narrowly tailor cases in which schools must give parental notification.

“OPI trusts our local control with school districts following and implementing the Montana state teaching and learning standards set forth by the Board of Public Education,” O’Leary said.

He also noted OPI itself is affected and complying: “OPI is also following the law in SB 99 by offering parents transparency in the questions and an opt-out option for the Youth Risk Behavior Survey due to some questions focusing on human sexuality.”

The survey “assists educators and health professionals in determining the prevalence of health-risk behaviors as self-reported by Montana youth” and was initiated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 1988, according to OPI. It aims to identify the leading causes of mortality, morbidity, and social problems among youth.

OPI Bill Draft Request 3 – human sexuality instruction (draft 1 2022.12.01)

[walkonandtwo]

Montana State University student alleges free speech violations

Lawsuit names MSU President Waded Cruzado, Commissioner Clayton Christian

BY: KEILA SZPALLER - JANUARY 13, 2023 7:19 PM

Montana State University officials are violating a student’s right to free speech after she questioned her sorority’s “insistence” members identify themselves with preferred pronouns, alleges a lawsuit filed Friday in U.S. District Court of Montana.

The lawsuit also alleges campus officials are infringing on the student’s rights with a no-contact order — one without an end date or due process — after she was allegedly victimized by a fellow sorority member who is LGBTQ.

The student and plaintiff, Daria Danley, is suing Commissioner of Higher Education Clayton Christian, MSU President Waded Cruzado, and Kyleen Breslin, director of MSU’s Office of Institutional Equity.

“Plaintiff Danley’s protests against the harassment inflicted upon her by an LGBTQ student as well as her objections to ‘preferred pronouns’ constitute speech protected by the First Amendment,” as well as the Montana Constitution, the lawsuit said.

Danley had told a sorority leader she was being stalked by the other sorority member, the lawsuit said. Danley did not file a police report, her lawyer said.

The Greek chapter characterized the concerns she raised to the sorority leader about the alleged stalking and pronouns as “hate speech,” and the sorority and campus punished her, the complaint said.

However, in sanctioning Danley, the lawsuit said MSU officials are illegally silencing speech “that might be deemed offensive to LGBTQ students.”

That’s despite a duty to ensure policies don’t discriminate based on political ideas.

“Defendants Christian and Cruzado breached this duty by allowing a discriminatory policy at MSU that tolerates offensive speech made by LGBTQ students while punishing similarly situated non-LGBTQ students who engage in protected speech deemed offensive to LGBTQ students,” the lawsuit alleges.

The lawsuit said a similar alleged violation of free speech by MSU cost the institution a $120,000 settlement.

In that 2017 case, student Erik Powell alleged a free speech violation after he was suspended for being critical of a transgender student to a professor in a private meeting, the complaint said.

“MSU’s vindictiveness toward student criticism of the LGBTQ community is not new,” the complaint said. “ … In settling the Powell lawsuit, MSU was required to expunge the plaintiff’s record of disciplinary marks and pay him.”

Bozeman lawyer Matthew Monforton represented Powell and is representing Danley.

In a brief phone call Friday, Monforton criticized the flagship’s Title IX office. Those offices generally oversee discrimination allegations.

“MSU’s woke Title IX office is punishing victims because they object to preferred pronouns in speech that LGBTQ students found offensive,” Monforton said.

MSU did not respond Friday to an email requesting comment, and neither did a spokesperson for the Office of the Commissioner of Higher Education.

The lawsuit outlines the events that led up to the court filing:

Danley has been enrolled full-time at MSU since 2020 and joined the Alpha Gamma Delta sorority, which has since dissolved its Bozeman chapter, the lawsuit said.

The fellow sorority member “routinely made inappropriate sexual comments in the presence of other AGD members,” and she repeatedly asked Danley to accompany her to her apartment despite Danley’s rejections, the lawsuit alleges. 

“Another member of the chapter warned Plaintiff Danley never to be alone with (the sorority member), as that member had observed (her) attempting to take advantage of women when they were intoxicated,” the lawsuit said.

The fellow sorority member is not a defendant in the lawsuit and the Daily Montanan is not naming her in this story.

The complaint also said the alleged stalker “repeatedly ogled” Danley, making her “extremely uncomfortable.”

After she alleged stalking and complained about the use of pronouns, MSU punished her for “hate speech” and imposed a no-contact order against her, which meant she couldn’t go to any sorority events or even enter a building where her alleged harasser was present, the lawsuit said.

Then, MSU officials charged her with “discrimination” in a “sham administrative complaint,” one it later dismissed, the lawsuit said. At MSU’s suggestion, the sorority evicted her, the complaint said.

Danley applied to the sorority’s national headquarters for reinstatement, and her request was granted, the complaint said. 

Still, MSU won’t rescind the no-contact order, the lawsuit said.

It said Danley doesn’t want to be part of her specific sorority chapter because she “just happened to get into a bad chapter,” but she does want to participate as an alumna member in activities other alumnae continue to organize.

“I still care greatly for Alpha Gamma Delta as a whole, and I know it does so much good for women,” Danley said in the lawsuit.

But she can’t do so because of the no-contact order “of unlimited duration,” the lawsuit said.

“MSU has rejected repeated requests by the victim to rescind the order and has never explained why the order remains necessary or elaborated on why it was imposed in the first place,” the lawsuit said. “Nor has MSU ever given the victim a hearing to challenge the order.”

In the complaint, Danley alleges the defendants are violating her free speech rights, which prohibit “government officials from subjecting citizens to retaliatory actions in response to protected speech.”

“Danley’s protests against the harassment inflicted upon her by an LGBTQ student as well as her objections to ‘preferred pronouns’ constitute speech protected by the First Amendment,” the lawsuit said.

It also said the order violates her freedom of association, and MSU has provided her no opportunity to be heard, therefore violating her right to due process.

“A person has a protected liberty interest in his or her good name, reputation, honor and integrity, of which he or she cannot be deprived without due process,” the lawsuit said.

It alleges violations of the Montana Constitution as well.

Danley requests a judgment the no-contact order violates her First Amendment rights and that the defendants clear her name in their records.

[walkonandtwo]

Opponents of Montana transgender bill say it could cripple health care, lead to more suicides

Proponent: ‘To be allowed to make this mistake as a child … is a travesty beyond words’

BY: BLAIR MILLER - JANUARY 27, 2023 5:54 PM

 Sen. Bob Fuller, R-Kalispell, testifies in favor of his Senate Bill 99 on Friday, Jan. 27, 2023, in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. The bill aims to deny gender-affirming care to transgender youth and penalize medical professional who support and perform those procedures. (Photo by Blair Miller, Daily Montanan)

A woman who testified in opposition to a Republican measure that seeks to deny gender-affirming care to transgender youth in Montana and penalize doctors and nurses who support those efforts – the third such bill over the last two sessions – said she thought about killing herself every day for 50 years before she finally transitioned at age 62.

She was one of more than 90 opponents of Senate Bill 99 who testified Friday the bill is unconstitutional, a threat to health care practitioners and would lead to more suicides among an already vulnerable group.

Dr. Lauren Wilson, a pediatric hospitalist at Community Medical Center in Missoula, said if the bill passes, it could effectively defund all Montana hospitals because the measure says public funds cannot be provided to institutions that offer or subsidize gender-affirming care. Sen. John Fuller, R-Kalispell, prepares to open testimony at the Senate Judiciary Committee on his Senate Bill 99 on Friday, Jan. 27, 2023. (Photo by Blair Miller, Daily Montanan)

SK Rossi, a lobbyist representing Bozeman, said the bill, sponsored by Sen. John Fuller, R-Kalispell, if signed into law, could put Montana’s Medicaid program at risk as well because the Affordable Care Act affirms gender as a protected class and the measure would have the state deny coverage under Medicaid and other means of funding.

Forty-four proponents of the measure testified at the hearing too, including several from out-of-state, people representing religion-linked think tanks, an OB/GYN who said her views were not popular within the medical community, and lead proponent Walt Heyer, an activist from California whose nationwide work is focused on detransitioning after he did so himself in 1991.

“I think this bill is not only very powerful, it’s very necessary. I think the way to reduce regret is to tackle the underlying issues before we introduce them to hormones and surgical procedures that they will regret,” Heyer said.

Fuller, who had two similar bills related to the trans community die in the 2021 session, said in his opening statements that his bill was about protecting children from what he called a “purely cosmetic and irreversible” procedure when they are not mentally able to make those choices. 

He called the hours of testimony that was to come from opponents about the bill being discriminatory and unconstitutional “red herrings designed to deflect attention away from a very real issue.”

But the slate of opposition – including many trans adults and children, medical doctors, pediatricians, public employee representatives, psychologists and parents of trans children – for more than three hours pleaded for lawmakers to table Fuller’s latest attempt because of the sweeping harms they say it will cause to Montana and its residents.

“Less terrible versions of this bill have died twice. I’m not sure why we’re back here now,” Rossi said. “… Honestly, it insults the values that most Montanans hold dear.”

Opponents: Bill would penalize providers of gender-affirming care

Amendments for the bill have already been introduced but will not be voted on until the bill sees executive action at a later date. But as introduced, the measure says public funds can’t be used or paid to anyone who provides medication or surgery tied to gender dysphoria, nor can any advocacy be done for any children under age 18 who are experiencing it.

It would prohibit treatments including hysterectomies, voice surgery, mastectomies, testosterone doses and other hormones, puberty blockers, genital reconstruction and more for any minors.

If the Senate does not table this, we will fight like hell for you in the House.

– Rep. Zooey Zephyr, Missoula Democrat

The measure, as introduced, would also subject any providers of those treatments to civil liability until the person they treated is 43 if that person decides they suffered any physical, psychological, emotional or physiological harm. It would also allow the state attorney general to bring actions.

Further, the measure would prohibit liability insurance for health care workers against those liabilities and subject the providers to a minimum one-year license suspension if they provide anyone with gender dysphoria treatments.

“To make this mistake as an adult is a travesty,” said Jeff Laszloffy, the president of the Montana Family Foundation. “But to be allowed to make this mistake as a child, with all the adults around you telling you you’re doing the right thing, and figure out later it was the greatest mistake of your life, is a travesty beyond words.”

Several other proponents said they or their children fit in better with boys or were tomboys when they were young and believed they would have been forced to transition. Others pointed to their Christian values as reason for backing the measure. 

Some said they believed school or psychological counselors were trying to actively convince children they should transition. And many said that children were not mentally prepared to make decisions about their gender identity when they are teenagers, saying they feared those children would regret their choices.

“Here’s the dirty little secret. There is no reliable scientific evidence this improves the long-term mental health of these minors, let alone that the benefits outweigh the regrets,” said Jay Richards with the Heritage Foundation, a right-wing think tank. “… This is emotional blackmail.”

‘These decisions are not impulsive; they are life-saving’

Many of the opponents said most of those claims were wrong based on their own experiences. They also called Fuller and the Republicans on the committee who seemed to favor the bill hypocrites.

Dr. William Gallea, a Helena-based physician, said the bill would have “unprecedented effects” on Montanans’ privacy and would be a gross intrusion by the government into medicine and medical practices.

He read aloud the Republican Party of Montana platform adopted last year in which the party said it believes the government should limit its scope of activity, avoid infringing on lawful activities of citizens, protect individual privacy and free will and give parents the sole right to all reproductive decisions.

Rossi said not only did the bill and proponent testimony put Montana’s children in jeopardy, it ignored and attacked the medical community and experts in gender-affirming care at the same time “the halls of this building are filled with cries for parental rights, and protecting medical freedom, autonomy and privacy.”

“This bill runs afoul of all three of those principles,” Rossi said, adding that if it passes, the state would see a battle in court. “It is also the most blatant and most obvious attempt we’ve seen thus far this session to intimidate and erase transgender people in Montana.” Opponents line up to speak against Senate Bill 99 in the Senate Judiciary Committee on Friday, Jan. 27, 2023. More than 90 people testified in opposition to the bill. (Photo by Blair Miller, Daily Montanan)

Several Montanans, including multiple transgender and nonbinary teenagers, testified how they or their children had been on the verge of committing suicide until they worked with counselors, medical professionals and their parents – even when it was difficult for both sides to understand – to begin hormonal treatments after years of gender dysphoria.

Susan Howard told the committee she had felt like she was born a girl, but in the 1960s, treatments were not a widespread option. She attempted suicide as a teenager and waited 52 years, she said, until she transitioned.

“I don’t think there were too many days that went by from [age 10] until I turned 62 that I didn’t feel like killing myself,” she said.

Several parents said the bill was an attempt to undo their parental rights and the vast improvements their children have seen since beginning to transition.

“If you have not witnessed the brutal reality of the suffering, or the freedom and relief that comes on the other side of gender-affirming care, you cannot possibly know what’s best for my son or any other transgender child,” said Jaime Gabrielli of Butte, whose now-18-year-old son transitioned. “These decisions are not impulsive; they are life-saving decisions. And they do not belong in the hands of uninformed strangers who do not understand the type of help and support that my child needs to thrive and survive.”

Physicians say health care field could be crippled under measure

Dr. Eric Lowe, an emergency physician based in Bozeman, provided letters to the committee signed by more than 350 Montana health care providers opposing the bill. He and other medical professionals said lawmakers had no place legislating patient care.

He said not only would many doctors – especially pediatric endocrinologists who are often involved in gender-affirming care treatments – leave the state, Montana would struggle to recruit other doctors and medical professionals amid an existing shortage.

And specialists like those who perform gender-affirming care also do important work like treating pediatric diabetes, he said, which could force children who have other medical needs to transfer to emergency rooms outside of Montana.

Others refuted claims from proponents about gender-affirming care. Multiple medical organizations, including the American Medical Association, have deemed hormone therapy and surgeries medically necessary in certain cases. Some opponents wondered why Montana should then decide they are not only illegal but punishable by law.

“These are the result of research and careful consideration. Lawmakers should not use their authority to override the consensus of the medical community,” said Dr. Heather Zaluski of Shodair Children’s Hospital in Helena. “More broadly, this bill is problematic because it would drive away the doctors. Doctors do not want to practice in a state that criminalizes evidence-based treatments.” Rep. SJ Howell, D-Missoula, testifies in opposition to Senate Bill 99 on Friday, Jan. 27, 2023. (Photo by Blair Miller, Daily Montanan)

Dr. Kathryn Brogan, a psychiatry specialist at Shodair, said the measure would force doctors to choose between their sworn oath of “do no harm” or adhering to law outsourced from the medical community “to non-medical lawmakers.”

Two Montana state representatives testified in opposition as well – Missoula Democrats SJ Howell and Zooey Zephyr. Howell is nonbinary and Zephyr is the first elected transgender lawmaker in Montana.

Howell said they believed the task of lawmakers was to make Montanans’ lives better through their shared values of privacy, freedom, fairness and protection from government overreach.

“This bill does not do that,” Howell said.

Zephyr said she specifically ran for office because of the measures Fuller introduced last session.

“I’m here because I believe when we are going to talk about trans people, when we are going to draft legislation that is going to directly impact trans people, we need to hear and listen from trans people in our community,” she said.

Zephyr said she took issue with the description of gender-affirming surgery that proponents gave as “mutilation” because she has undergone the surgery. She said she’s heard from constituents who say their children or grandchildren who are trans feel scared to come back to Montana or want to leave because of measures like SB99 and that she would stand up on behalf of the trans community. Rep. Zooey Zephyr, D-Missoula, testifies in opposition to Senate Bill 99 on Friday, Jan. 27, 2023. (Photo by Blair Miller, Daily Montanan)

“If the Senate does not table this, we will fight like hell for you in the House,” she said.

During questions from lawmakers, some Republicans seemed to trivialize the discussion at hand. Sen. Daniel Emrich, R-Great Falls, tried to get a psychiatrist to say gender dysphoria was a dissociative disorder. She declined. Sen. Chris Friedel, R-Billings, repeatedly conflated gender-affirming care with a hypothetical “suicide affirming care,” asking the psychiatrist why if his son was set on killing himself he could not find a facility to provide such care.

“No, sir, you should seek help for your son,” the psychiatrist said.

By the end of the five-hour hearing, doctors and representatives from the American Civil Liberties Union of Montana had agreed that the bill was unconstitutional and would put funding of hospitals, care providers and clinics at risk of losing funding altogether and subject practitioners to “financial ruin,” as Dr. Timothy Mitchell testified.

Dr. Mary Anne Guggenheim, a pediatric neurologist and former House representative, told lawmakers all the evidence showed they should table the bill and “keep it there.”

“This is absurd. It will not only hurt children and families, it will harm the state of Montana. Some physicians and health care providers and customers will likely leave. Many others will never consider coming to a state where they are prevented from giving appropriate medical care,” she said. 

“The stain on Montana’s reputation will be long-lasting.”

I see no reason for getting all up in arms , If your queer your queer so what nobody cares , Quit gripping about more rights and learn to stand on your own two feet , Nobody cares your queer just don't be grab assing in front of the rest of us it is gross and leave the kids alone nobody is trying to make more queers.

[walkonandtwo]

Blackfeet Family Services removes children from shelter overseen by Heart Butte superintendent

BY: NICOLE GIRTEN - 8:53 AM

 Department of Family Services removes youths from Feather Woman Healing Lodge, a youth group home in Heart Butte on the Blackfeet Reservation, Thursday morning, Jan. 26, 2023.

HEART BUTTE — Blackfeet Child and Family Services removed 11 children from a shelter Thursday on Heart Butte School District property overseen by Mike Tatsey, who is under scrutiny as superintendent for the district.

The Feather Woman Healing Lodge is a short-term group shelter for K-12 students. Tribal officials appeared to be shuttering operations at the facility located at the entrance of the school’s property after less than two years in operation.

The Blackfeet Tribe said Thursday it would be putting out a release with additional information. The Daily Montanan has asked questions including why the shutdown took place and where the children were taken.

As of Thursday evening, the Blackfeet Tribe is “no comment until all the facts are given,”  according to Public Information Officer James McNeely.

In the early morning hours on Thursday, adults escorted a few children at a time to waiting sedans. Children wore backpacks and held close treasures like stuffed animals or neon plastic toy guns as tall as they were.

An elementary-aged child peered out of the window of the boys’ quarters of the Feather Woman Healing Lodge in the morning as 30 mile-per-hour winds gusted through a swing set just outside and through the tassels of a pink bike on its side. Department of Family Services removes youths from Feather Woman Healing Lodge. (Photo by Rion Sanders)

The young boy was one of the 11 children who were removed from the Lodge by multiple agencies including Blackfeet Child & Family Services with an intermittent presence from Blackfeet Law Enforcement.

Director of Blackfeet Child & Family Services Roy Crawford helped to move trash bags of belongings out of the shelter and into the sedans parked outside, a handful of which had government license plates.

At the same time, school buses and cars of caretakers drove by through the entrance of the school to drop children off before the school day began.

Tatsey, who oversees the lodge, previously told the Daily Montanan he allowed staff in the district who had positive drugs tests to remain employed at the school with 225 students. He said some people received treatment and returned, which the district allows. Mike Tatsey, superintendent of Heart Butte School District arrives at Feather Woman Healing Lodge. (Photo by Rion Sanders)

Nearly an hour into the removal of the children from the facility, Tatsey pulled into the parking lot in a Ford Lariat F-350. He walked into the boys’ housing and after several minutes emerged and went directly back to his truck. Blackfeet Law Enforcement at that time returned to the property and intercepted Tatsey at his window for about 10 minutes.

Tatsey dismissed an opportunity to comment to the Daily Montanan on the status of the facility. Crawford said that Tatsey saw a reporter’s car on school property and asked that they relocate the vehicle off the premises.

In a brief exchange earlier in the morning with the Daily Montanan about the apparent shutdown, Crawford confirmed the agency was removing children. He did not provide additional details. Mike Tatsey, superintendent of Heart Butte School District, speaks with Blackfeet Law Enforcement at Feather Woman Healing Lodge on Thursday. (Photo by Rion Sanders)

The Feather Woman facility was piloted in August 2021, according to reporting by Buffalo’s Fire, part of the Indigenous Media Freedom Alliance.

The project consisted of two houses, one for boys and another for girls, for a total capacity for 12 students and designated supervisors, according to Buffalo’s Fire. The story said there’s a separate structure meant for an on-site counseling center and students can stay as part of the program for as long as four weeks.

Former Browning state senator and counselor Shannon Augare credits himself as the creator of the group home on his LinkedIn page.

According to Buffalo’s Fire, the project received an $800,000 grant from the Blackfeet Tribe and $25,000 from the Montana Health Care Foundation.

Parent starts petition

Jay Young Running Crane, a concerned parent and former Blackfeet Law Enforcement officer, spearheaded a petition this month to remove the chair of the Heart Butte School Board, Corey Morgan. Young Running Crane said board members were aware of the positive drugs tests among school employees as he submitted a letter to the board on the topic last summer. Jay Young Running Crane (Photo by Rion Sanders)

In an interview this week, Young Running Crane said the ultimate goal is to have the board reconsider Tatsey’s contract with the school, which was renewed for another two years on Monday.

Young Running Crane accumulated 85 of the 84 needed signatures from community members for the petition to be presented to the board for consideration. The petition was signed by former school board members and three current staff members among others. Young Running Crane said seven other staff members expressed interest in signing the petition but chose not to due to fear of retaliation. He said there are more than 90 employees at the school.

Parents and grandparents have been frustrated about drugs in their community.

“I just know Mike’s head is not where it’s supposed to be,” said Rebecca Rider, a grandparent to a child at Heart Butte Schools who signed the petition.

Morgan declined to comment.

Pondera County Superintendent Shaunna Graham currently has a copy of the petition and is working on next steps.(Photo by Rion Sanders)(Photo by Rion Sanders)(Photo by Rion Sanders)(Photo by Rion Sanders)A school bus drives into Heart Butte Schools (Photo by Rion Sanders)Roy Crawford, director of Blackfeet Department of Family Services, facilitates the closing of Feather Woman Healing Lodge, a youth group home in Heart Butte. (Photo by Rion Sanders)Feather Woman Healing Lodge (Photo by Rion Sanders)Mike Tatsey, left, superintendent of Heart Butte Schools leaves at Feather Woman Healing Lodge, where he serves as an administrator, as Roy Crawford, director of the Blackfeet Department of Family Services looks on.

[walkonandtwo]

Heart Butte Superintendent permitted teachers with positive drug tests to continue employment

BY: NICOLE GIRTEN - 1:38 PM

 Sign for Heart Butte along Highway 89 on the Blackfeet Reservation. (Photo by Nicole Girten/Daily Montanan)

     

Heart Butte School District Superintendent Mike Tatsey acknowledged he allowed staff in the district to remain employed despite positive drug tests.

However, in a November interview, Tatsey said those who tested positive went to treatment and came back “completely fine.”

“We want to help people like that,” Tatsey said. “We want them to go get some help or treatment. If they test positive, maybe they have a prescription. That’s none of your business.” 

Tatsey declined to discuss the types of drugs found in the tests.

Jay Young Running Crane, a concerned parent and former law enforcement officer with close ties in the community, said he has direct knowledge of at least one staff member who tested positive for methamphetamines and remains employed.

The district has a zero-tolerance drug policy for staff, meaning any employee in the district with a verified positive controlled substance test result, a confirmed positive alcohol test result, or a refusal to test, may be subject to disciplinary action, up to and including immediate termination. 

According to the policy available on the Montana School Board Association website, an employee could be found in violation even if a test was not conducted or if the test came back negative. 

Existing employees do have the opportunity, at the discretion of the district under the policy, to be sent to a Substance Abuse Professional under an Employee Assistance Program, at the employee’s expense, the policy says. A second offense, no matter the substance, results in termination. 

Employees terminated due to drug use also have the opportunity to return, following a report that they are fit to come back and furnish a negative test result. 

In November, the Daily Montanan requested copies of test results redacted to protect personal privacy. After follow-up requests, Tatsey said lawyers with the district would be in touch about the request. 

However, the district has yet to send the documents, excluding the names of employees, requested in November under the state’s right-to-know provisions.

In a telephone interview, Tatsey didn’t say the number of staff members who have retained their jobs, potentially against district policy, despite positive test results.

“I can guarantee you it ain’t very many that have (tested positive),” he said in November. 

In an emailed response to the Daily Montanan’s record request, Tatsey wrote about the employees that tested positive in light of confidentiality. 

“Since the positive numbers are so low, I need to make sure that I do not release info that can be tied to an employee,” Tatsey wrote. 

Last school year, Heart Butte K-12 School District had 225 students enrolled with a 10 to one student to teacher ratio.  Just over 85% of the district is economically disadvantaged, according to the Office of Public Instruction’s district overview. 

Heart Butte School Board member Christy Racine said the school board had requested the superintendent provide the board with test results but he had declined, citing confidentiality. . 

“We couldn’t see it,” she said the board was told. “Only he, the superintendent, gets to see it.” 

Lance Melton with the Montana School Boards Association, said Employee Assistance Programs are used in lots of industries where the goal is to try to get employees help. 

“I’m not aware of any circumstance where any teacher in Montana has been tested by their school district, found to be using drugs while at work, and has maintained their employment,” Melton said. 

Where and when the employee drug use took place is unclear. 

Young Running Crane, who has children in the district, said he believes the policy has been implemented at Tatsey’s will, letting some staff slide and punishing others with impunity. He said at least one person who has tested positive works in the classroom.

Tatsey did not provide information about what positions the staff who tested positive held.

Tatsey confirmed the district switched drug testing companies during his five-year tenure as superintendent. He declined to answer which company the district switched to. 

“That’s none of your business,” Tatsey said in the November interview. 

The contract with the new drug testing company was one of the records the Daily Montanan requested, but did not receive, from the district. Tatsey said in an emailed response to the initial request that the contracts could be sent the following day. However, that did not happen, and the district has not responded to subsequent requests for the records, most recently in an early January phone call.

There is no statewide drug policy for students or employees. However, drug testing falls under the purview of state collective bargaining laws. Federal drug testing policies apply to those licensed to drive school buses.   

Schools across Montana are facing a teacher shortage, in rural areas in particular, and especially coming out of the pandemic. 

“Even large school districts that might have been able to say that they had 20 to 30 highly qualified applicants for every opening that they had a decade ago, are in some cases now unable to find a qualified applicant or have a much smaller pool from which to pull,” Melton said. 

The hiring of teachers who are granted an emergency authorization by the state after administrators have exhausted all possibilities for hiring a licensed teacher, have increased  in recent years.

In 2018 there were 94 emergency authorized teachers in the state, increasing nearly 30 percent in 2022, according to the Office of Public Instruction. There were 173 emergency authorizations in 2021. 

Browning, just north of Heart Butte on the Blackfeet Reservation, reported eight emergency authorized teachers from the end of 2021 through 2022, according to a January OPI report. Heart Butte, which is on the reservation, was not listed in the report. 

The unemployment rate on the Blackfeet Reservation is at 6.4 percent, according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics from November of 2022. Statewide, the unemployment rate is 2.2 percent. 

However, Melton said the shortage has not to his knowledge impacted retention of teachers that would otherwise be unfit. 

Sources familiar say that the Heart Butte School Board will be holding a meeting Monday at 5 p.m., and will be reviewing Tatsey’s contract as superintendent, but notice of that topic or meeting could not be confirmed on the school’s website or with the district. 

[walkonandtwo]

True NDN love

 This NDN couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck so he could star around the rez, she wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic on her way to bingo.He would probably have settled on any beat up rez truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. You know how those NDN Women get when they want something really really bad, there she stood, hands on her hips, staring her husband down and said "Look, my birthday is coming up and I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds, surprise me!" So for her birthday, he went to Wal-Mart and bought her a brand new  bathroom scale. Ayeee!

[walkonandtwo]

[Fwd: Contempt of Court]

> During a trial, in a small Missouri town, the local prosecuting attorney > called his first witness to the stand. > > She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and > nothing but the truth, so help her God. > > The witness was a proper, well-dressed elderly lady, the Grandmother > type, well spoken and poised. The prosecuting attorney approached the > woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'" > > She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you > since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment > to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly > about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when > you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more > than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well." > > The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few minutes. > Then, slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors' > faces, not to mention the court reporter, who documented every word. > > Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. > Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" > > She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was > a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The > man can't build or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law > practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he > cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him." > > The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in > his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed with gasps, thundered > throughout the courtroom and the audience was on the verge of chaos. > > At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both > counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of > you morons asks her if she knows me, you're going to jail.

[walkonandtwo]

25 ways to get rid of a blind date.

1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give

the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who

reaches for it.

2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant,

and balance them in a tower on your table.

3. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.

4. Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.

5. Repeat every third third word you say say.

6. Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your

high school yearbook.

7. Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date.

8. Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly.

9. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what

they are talking about.

10. Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms

outstretched, and make airplane sounds.

11. Order a bucket of lard.

12. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in

fancier venues that use linen tablecloths.

13. Howl and whistle at womens' legs, especially if you are female.

14. Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets.

15. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins

talking about themselves.

16. Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.

17. When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.

18. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more from their

plate than they do.

19. Drool.

20 Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray

crumbs.

21. Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed

in front of you.

22. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head

waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the

restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask

him/her "What in the hell took you so long in the restroom?!?"

23. Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.

24. Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.

25. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing

the subject up.

[walkonandtwo]

Hard times better times

When the elders in my family talk about their past, I listen eagerly. They tell stories, of what most these days would consider hardship, with a sense of fondness. Simpler times, and a sense of peace many of them still long for.

My dad was raised in Appalachia. He grew up the son of poor, undereducated people. Not to be confused with lack of intelligence, for what they lacked in book smarts, they made up for in ingenuity. They made the most out of what very little they had.

I only saw glimpses of how my dad lived when we went to visit extended family in-between one of my dad’s many PCSs. It always fascinated me. I would always pretend I was Laura from Little House on The Prairie during our visits. I would spend my time gathering berries, running through the massive garden, sleeping in a wrought iron bed, warming next to the woodstove, or bathing in a steel washtub.

My grandma and grandpa lived in a run-down shack. The only running water was in the kitchen. There was no indoor bathroom. My dad never had the privilege of one of those until 1974 when he joined the Air Force. I didn’t realize how abnormal this was when I was a child. I just thought my dad was “old” and so it made sense to me for his parents to have an outhouse since they must be “really old”. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized my dad was raised in a manner that most people in the U.S. hadn’t lived in in decades.

My dad only got one pair of shoes a year. They were always bought at the beginning of the school year. Brogan’s is what he called them. He said by the end of the school year they were so worn out they went barefoot all summer.

For dinner, they mostly ate what they grew, killed, gathered, or canned. Squirrels, groundhog, bear, deer, trout, and the like could be found on the table. Along with some pinto beans, cornbread, biscuits, and a variety of vegetables.

My dad said he never felt like he went without. He didn’t even know he was poor until sometime around the 6th grade when other school children begged the teacher to not give homework on the nights Batman aired. My dad didn’t even have a TV so it didn’t matter to him.

Holidays went by without much fanfare. My dad never had a birthday party until he left home. Christmas gifts weren’t a thing.

My great aunt, who is my dad’s age, shared that Christmas wasn’t disappointing because they never knew to expect anything. She said at her house, my dad’s grandparents, would cut down a sapling and nail it to the floor. They would decorate it with tinsel that cost a nickel, little bulbs, and homemade ornaments. They didn’t have electricity, but the reflection of the fire from the woodstove danced across the tinsel. As she spoke you could tell it was a happy memory. She shared how her mom, my great-grandma, a very quiet woman, would get excited at the sight of the way the fire made the tinsel sparkle. She would exclaim "Ooooh isn’t that beautiful?”, as they sat there in the quiet, still, dark of the night. Sometimes her parents would buy a huge peppermint stick and break it apart so the whole family could share it. That was Christmas. Simple, but they were happy and content.

My dad often spent summers “up on the mountain” at his grandparent's tiny “homeplace” which was filled to the brim with family. At night the family would use the dim light of an oil lamp for what little illumination they had. The room was still so dark you couldn’t see the ceiling. Using a pee can in the corner to alleviate yourself. Waking up before the sun to the sound of a banjo. Filling your belly with red-eye gravy, biscuits, ham, and chicory coffee, before heading out to work that day. Working hard. Cutting lumber, sawing with a bow saw, hauling the wood… I mean literally strapping themselves to homemade yokes to drag timber down the mountain. My dad remembers joking about feeling like a real “jackass” as they were dragging their logs one day.

Oh, the stories they tell… not of just a different time, but of a different world altogether. It seems so foreign to me. It is still hard for me to comprehend how they lived. How a family in the United States of America, could not have electricity or indoor plumbing until the 1970s. As crazy as it all sounds to me, I have rarely heard them complain, or express a lack of contentment about their childhood. The people I have spoken with all felt loved and wanted. They felt a part of something bigger than material things. Something so few Americans feel these days. While I do not envy the pee can or 4:30 am banjo wakeups, I do wish I could feel the sense of community they felt. The peace they express feeling. The calmness they felt at the end of their day.

[walkonandtwo]

The faulty

The President Must Go

Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in

front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees "The President Must Go" written

in urine across the snow.

Well, old Bill is pretty ticked off. He storms into his security staff's HQ, and

yells, "Somebody wrote a threat in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they

wrote it in urine! Son-of-a-bitch had to be standing right on the porch when he

did it! Where were you guys?!" The security guys stay silent and stare ashamedly

at the floor. Bill hollers, "Well dammit, don't just sit there! Get out and

find out who did it! I want an answer, and I want it tonight!" The

entire staff immediately jumps up and races for the exits.

Later that evening, his chief security officer approaches him and says, "Well

Mr. President, we have some bad news and we have some really bad news. Which do

you want first?"

Clinton says, "Oh more...

Voodoo Dick

Once upon a time, there once was a traveling salesman who's wife was a well known sex addict. But because the man could not be home all of the time, he often worried about his wife's faithfulness. He had noticed that she had been eyeing the young neighbor boy who cut their lawn recently. So one day the man decided to try to do something about this. After work the man entered a sexual aid shop and asked the owner to show him the selection of dildos.

"Why yes, of course." said the owner, "We have a very wide selection."

But after looking for quite a long time, the man just did not find anything that satisfied him.

"Well, maybe I have just what you need." remarked the owner, "Wait here."And with that, the owner ran into the back and started digging around for quite some time. After about twenty minutes, the owner finally came out carrying a strange, rectangular box with ancient writing all over it. He set the box down on the more...

[walkonandtwo]

When you know your nuts

39 Warning Signs Of Insanity

Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer.

Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.

You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.

You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.

Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.

You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.

You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.

Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.

People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.

Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day.

You laugh out loud during funerals.

When your doctor tells more...

A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...

A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass was very thickand long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approachedthe Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"The priest replied, "What did you say?"The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?"The boy replied, "Yes... tight ass!"

Irish father O`Malley got up one fine spring morn...

Irish father O`Malley got up one fine spring morning and walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside and noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went something like this: "What a grand morinin it is. This is Sgt. Flaherty! How might I help ye?" "This is irish father O`Malley at St.Bridget`s. There`s a jackass lying dead on me front lawn. Would ye mind sending a couple o`yer lads to take care of the matter?" Sgt.Flaherty considered himself to be quite a wit so the rest of the conversation proceeded: "Well, now irish father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a moment and then irish father O`Malley replied: "Aye, that`s certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.

[walkonandtwo]

Just Checking.

Winterize your lawn" joke

"Winterize your lawn," the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of thong swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency. 

Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this: "Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles." 

"It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass." 

"Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?" 

"Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn." 

"The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy." 

"Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week." 

"They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?" 

"Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags." 

"They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?" 

"No, sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away." 

"Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work." 

"You aren't going believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it." 

"What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life." 

"You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them hauled away." 

"No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?" 

"After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves." 

"And where do they get this mulch?" 

"They cut down trees and grind them up." 

"Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?" 

"Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about..." 

"Never mind I think I just heard the whole story."

A. A. A. D. D. Jokes

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests: I decide to wash my car.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL, LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!