vulnerablemanda-blog

[vulnerablemanda-blog]

[vulnerablemanda-blog]

This Week Was Hard.

This week was hard. Pretty much like every other week. Actually, if I am being completely honest, this year has been hard. I have been challenged in so many ways that I never imagined would happen in my life.

I have had a lot of change since November 2018. I got married to a wonderful man. We got married “quickly,” but I am glad we did. He is the love of my life and everything I could have ever wished for. Since we got married “quickly,” it was difficult on many people. Side note: I keep putting quickly in quotations because in the eyes of the world we got married faster than usual (within 8 months of knowing one another) but to us, it was the perfect timing. 

We got married on November 16, 2018 at a courthouse. We had 2 witnesses and no family there. Looking back on it, I do wish we had our families there, but we didn’t. It upset a lot of people. Including people it didn’t need to upset. I’m slowly learning that I cannot / we cannot, please every single person. Ultimately, we are living our own life - no one else is.

After we got married, we moved in with my mother-in-law and my husband’s stepdad for undisclosed reasons.. That was a challenge in itself and I’m not sure I should even blog about that crazy experience...seriously. We lived there for approximately 3.5 months and moved out to get our own apartment. It was the best move we have ever made and we are so much happier now.

I also started trying to lose weight in January, as I was nearly 300 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers and since the beginning of 2019, I’ve lost 40 pounds! I should be proud of that, right? But it seems I continue to make steps backwards...maybe I am sabotaging my own health? Or maybe it is because food is the only thing that helps me cope with my emotions that I HATE feeling.

This year, I joined Mary Kay and became an independent beauty consultant. I think I may have taken on a little too much because I am feeling extremely overwhelmed, since I am also a full-time nanny. Wow. Listing all of these things out that has happened in my life makes me understand why I am so stressed 24/7!!

Oh. I’m also starting cosmetology school in the fall. WOW.

I am a people pleaser by nature, so if I am not excelling in all areas of my life, I feel like a failure. I’m not so sure how to change that.

I’m not sure why I started a blog on tumblr. Maybe I just need an outlet. Maybe I need to know that I’m not alone and others are going through some of the same things I am going through. I know I haven’t gone into huge detail to my situations at hand, but I want to. I’m just feeling a little scared. Actually, I think the right word is that I am feeling vulnerable. I want to let it out and share with you guys what is going on in my world. I want to know what is going on in your world. 

Anyways...if my blog post was a little sad, I apologize. I just have to get this off of my chest. I will share more eventually...I am just not sure when. Thanks for checking out my first post. Happy Saturday!

#WeightWatchers PeoplePleaser MaryKay Makeup WeightLossJourney LifeStory Venting Inspire Encouragement MyLife MarriedLife