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vivi-ana444 · 1 month

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(Brief) CG!House headcanons cuz I just think he’s neat

-Will make up some inane story for everything you ask him. If you ask why he needs a cane, he’ll say something that is most definitely a lie and very obviously unbelievable, and when you call him out and say it’s not true he’ll pause and go “mmm…yeah, you’re right” and then blatantly lie again. This can go on for several hours.

-If you work for him at PPTH and you start slipping, he’ll let you sit in his office and maybe play with his tennis ball.

-He’s a good cook (canon), and will likely - probably - cook things for you if asked (not canon).

-Is better with older regressors, think 7-12.

-It goes without saying that he’s not the most caring caregiver out there. He’s more of a really close uncle cg than a father. He knows he’s not like his father, but…well, he doesn’t get as close to you as either of you would like.

-He bought a toy doctor’s kit just for the hell of it and occasionally plays with you. In the end, the “patient” has racked up a list of symptoms that likely mirror his current case.

-He also made a fake MRI machine out of cardboard that is used more frequently than you would expect.

-Isn’t really a nicknames sort of guy in general. He’ll usually call you by your first name (apart from the occasional “kid” or “kiddo”). Though he did call you “squirt” once semi-ironically.

-He’s not exactly gentle, but…quiet. If you need someone less crass at the moment, he’ll look you in the eye and speak in low tones that just border in soft.

-If you also have chronic pain, he’ll do whatever it takes to make you as comfortable as possible.

-He has a small box of your age regression things in his closet. Not all of them, but those deemed “most necessary”.

-Very tone-focused, especially for more sensitive or younger regressors. He’ll make it very obvious that he’s being sarcastic and very obvious that he’s being genuine and make his boundaries very obvious as well (hint: he’s better with older regressors because he, frankly, doesn’t have much energy to change diapers continuously.)

-Wilson can and has babysat for whenever a case is so much of a puzzle that House doesn’t want to leave it alone.

-On bad pain days, after work you’ll both sit down to watch either monster trucks or a movie of your choosing. If it’s a kids film he really will try to focus on it with you for ten minutes tops then focus on work again.

-He’ll accept any benign things you give him for the pain in his leg, even if they don’t work. He does, however, tell you that they won’t work.

-He makes it very clear that he’s a caregiver, not a regressor. He believes that age regression is a valid coping mechanism, but thinks and feels he’s too far gone for it to ever work for him. Also, he’s just fine staying miserable. Or so he tells himself.

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vivi-ana444 · 1 month

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House MD Agere Headcanons !

House - Flip (Regressor Lean)

Regressor!House

likes monster trucks & cars in general

regresses super small, like 1-3 years

doesn't talk much; babbles far more

super clingy

usually prefers to be one-on-one rather than in a group

lines up his toys in a line and observes them (autistic king)

colors inside the lines on coloring books and gets super upset if he goes outside the lines

has one stuffie he's super attached to- can't go anywhere without it

likes drinking from sippy cups more than bottles because he feels more independent

tends to cry often, poor guy :(

likes having his cg carry him because his leg makes crawling hard

is constantly teething despite it being physically impossible

he bites. and kicks.

Caregiver!House

favorite nicknames for his little are kiddo, buddy, pal, little guy, ect.

has his little call him Papa Greg

likes making meals with his little (mostly because he can't really cook)

loves to get on the floor with his little and play with them instead of observing

if a little handed him a fake phone, he would answer it (and tell the person on the phone they're terminal)

likes taking littles out on excursions (the park, zoo, ect.)

he's basically a stereotypical dad :)

Wilson - Flip (Regressor Lean)

Regressor!Wilson

has way too many stuffies

serial paci user

puts. everything. in. his. mouth.

also a super small regressor, 1-2.5 years

makes up elaborate stories with his toys

loves to play doctor with his stuffies

crawls EVERYWHERE. needs to be constantly watched because he's always on the move

very fussy (terrible twos!)

super talkative but 80% of it is babytalk

also a major babble-er

less clingy than house, but still super clingy

loves having playdates

also pet regresses (golden retriever puppy)

Caregiver!Wilson

calls his little honey, sweet boy/girl, little one, ect.

lets his little call him whatever they want (but he prefers Dada)

if house is the 'loud dad', wilson is the 'quiet dad'

loves doing quiet activities with his littles (puzzles, coloring, ect.)

makes the best little meals

sings his little lullabies when its naptime or bedtime

loves to carry his littles

loves doing silly voices for his littles' toys

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vivi-ana444 · 1 month

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dr. house as a caregiver <3

"okay, kid. here's how this is gonna work. i've got a case. you can stay in my office while i figure this crap out with my team, and-.... oh, hey. don't cry. don't- listen. you can't be in there with me while we're working, it's confidential. ....jeez, you're really a kid, huh? okay. okay. just... just take some deep breaths. you're gonna be fine. i'll... i can stay in here with you for a few more minutes, that sound good? yeah, yeah. don't get too used to it. ....oh. thank you. thanks. ....i'm not really a hugger, so-.... okay. it's okay. i've got you. i've got you."

requested by @eflen-n-reegee!

aughhhh i love cg house!!! he would absolutely be huffy and pretend like he hates affection & is bothered by clinginess, but he secretly loves it. "i'm not a hugger".... sure, greg. i just know he'd pretend to hate it for exactly two seconds, and then hug you back and not let go. <3

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vivi-ana444 · 1 month

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A gaggle of littles

Word count: 1, 871

Little! Chase, Cameron, Foreman, House

Cw: involuntary regression, yelling

Plot: When Chase regresses on an important case, it sets off a very dangerous domino effect

Full credit for idea goes to @puppyboywilson

Chase, Cameron and Forman all sit around a large glass table that is completely covered in various different papers.

All three have visible eye bags, are yawning consistently and... oh yeah. All three are face down on the table, fast asleep.

A long bang on the table sends them all shooting awake, eyes darting to look for the threat. Only for their eyes to settle on House standing at the table and a large diagnostic book sitting on the table, clearly being what woke them up.

“You all look cheery” House says, by way of hello.

“That tends to happen when people get no sleep working for an ungrateful boss” Cameron sasses, but quickly follows up with, “Sorry, I get grumpy when I get no sleep”

“No matter” House says, waving off the scared look on her face. “We have a new symptom people!” He walks over to a whiteboard that already has “seizures, emotional outbursts, hallucinations, fever and joint pain” written on it. He takes a black marker and writes “bloody urine” under it all.

He briefly pauses, considering the information he has before turning back to the ducklings. “So, differential people!”

Cameron and Foreman both put forward several theories but Chase remains head down on the desk. A whimper escaped his lips, too quiet for anyone to hear. His mind darts to the lifeless body of the little girl he lost just 2 days before and he swallows the sob that gets stuck in his throat.

“Chase, care to share with the class?” House asks, drawing the younger mans attention.

Chase lifts his head and glares at House. His throat bobbed and he shot out of his chair. He practically sprints to the door, letting it slam behind him.

“I’ll go” Cameron says after a moments pause. She walks out, shooting House a warning glance to not follow her.

It doesn’t take her long to find him, tucked in a corner under House’s desk. His legs are tucked up neatly and his head placed gently on his knees. Every few seconds, he lets out a pitiful sounding sniffle.

“Hey buddy” She whispers, not wanting to spook him. “You ok?”

Chase looks up. His red, puffy but surprisingly clear eyes meet her concerned, clear ones. He lets out another sniffle before launching himself into his arms.

“Awe Bobby” Cameron coos, breaking out his little nickname when she realises that he’s regressed. She wastes no time in wrapping her arms around him and holding him.

They stay like that for almost 10 minutes. Just Cameron sitting on the floor with Chase on her lap, softly sniffling and babbling apologies. She would’ve stayed longer but the longer she holds the regressed boy, the more she feels her own fragile hold on her headspace breaking. She carefully picks him up, balancing him on her hip like an older sister. After make sure that he’s in a good position, she starts carefully carrying him back to the briefing room.

She opens the door with some difficulty. She walks in without saying a word to House or Foreman. In fact, she walks right pass them. She carefully sets Chase down in a corner of the room set up with some toys and pillows. She gives him a moment to get comfortable before turning back to the responsible adults in the room.

“He regressed” She says slowly, making sure that her words are coming out correctly. “I… need help.” She manages to get out. She takes a wobbly step forward before sitting down harshly.

House and Foreman immediately snap into action. Both being flips, they knew how to take care of younger regressors and have babysat Chase and Cameron before. Foreman makes his way to Cameron, picking her up easily. “Hi silly girl,” He says to her softly, trying to get her mind off of the stressful situation. Allison giggles and kicks her legs. “How old are you feeling Bambi?”

She pauses for a moment before holding up a 5, then putting a finger down to 4, then back up to five. She lets out a whine, saying, “Not sure!”

Meanwhile, House beelines for Chase as fast as his leg will allow. He can’t pick Chase up so he lowers himself painfully down to his level, sitting on the pillows with him. “Hey puppy,” House whispers, not wanting to scare him again. “Feeling better?”

Chase looks up from the car he’s playing with and whimpers when he sees House. “Am I in trouble?” Chase says, whispering so quietly that House can hear him.

Those words break House’s heart and he feels his grip on his headspace slip a little bit. He takes a steady breath before gently saying, “No bobby, you’re not in trouble”

Chase smiles, his anxiety easily eased in regression. He hands House a dark green car. Then he picks up light blue car and starts racing them around the small raceroad the team has set up. As the two play, they develop a complicated plot that both struggle to follow.

It doesn’t take long for Foreman to pad over to the 2 youngest regressors with Camerons hand in his (so she doesn’t wander off). “House?” Foreman speaks up, attempting to get his bosses attention. When he doesn’t look up, he just continues on anyway. “Um… I was watchin’ Cameron ‘n’ we was playin’ ballet pirates ‘n’ I accidently slipped?” Foreman mutters, hoping to get the next most responsible adult.

House turns around, having only caught the back half of what foreman said. He looks sheepish and doesn’t meet his eyes. “’M smol too…” He trails off.

Foreman brings Cameron over, and sits the 2 of them on the remaining pillows. He’s able to identify that he’s the oldest little and therefor has to take charge for the moment. “Ok,” he says softly, trying to formulate a plan of what to do. “Let’s figure out ages” he says, settling on that as a first move to figure out who can do what. “I’m around 10 I think” He says, gesturing to himself in an attempt to start the discussion. “What about the rest of you? he asks, careful to not pull any of them out of regression.

“Um… 6 or 7?” Cameron says, not sounding very sure. She shuffles a little closer to Chase and wordlessly takes his hand.

“4” House replies immediately. He glares at Foreman as if this should be obvious, then goes back to playing with his green car.

“Um… 2?” Chase responds, after a very lengthy pause, looking very out of it. He puts his car aside and climbs into Camerons lap, the game having gotten too complex for him to understand. He snuggles in, comfortable. Cameron deliberately ignores the look of betrayal from House and contently holds Chase.

“Ok ok ok” Foreman mutters, trying his best to take care of the three littles even though he’s regressed too. He gets up and starts pacing, trying to come up with a solution when he stops and looks at House. He crouches down at House’s level. “Do you know where Cuddy and Wilson are?” He asks.

“Wilsons in a meeting and Cuddy is doing clinic duty” House recites, still glaring daggers at Cameron.

“Ok, I’m going to go get Cuddy and Wilson. I shouldn’t be more then 10 minutes. Cameron, you’re in charge while I’m gone” Foreman says before dashing out of the room to find an adult to deal with the situation.

House keeps his eyes on Foreman, waiting until he’s out of ear range. As soon as he deemed it safe, he leant over and snatched Chase from Camerons lap. Chase immediately started crying from the shock of being moved and the stress of being away from Cameron. He reaches towards her, wanting to go back to the warmth and cosiness of her lap. His crying only makes House frown more. He awkwardly pats Chase’s head, trying to calm him.

“House!” Cameron gasps, jumping up. “You can’t do dat to the baby!”

House just sticks his tounge out at her and grips on tighter to Chase, not wanting him to go. When Chase doesn’t stop wailing, he roughly covers his mouth.

Cameron sees what House is doing and watches Chase start to struggle to breathe. She quickly pries Chase from his grip and sits him on her hip, trying to soothe him.

“No fair!” House whines, jutting out his bottom lip as he watches Cameron effortlessly soothe Chase. “You always get the baby”

“I get the baby because I’m better with the baby” Cameron says, taking a deep breath to try and steady her breath but leveling House with a glare that said “how dare he hurt Bobby”

Her glare makes Houses bottom lip tremble. He looks at Chase, contently watching the fan from her hip. “No you’re not! I do better with Bobby!” He shouts, upset.

“Then why did you try to suffocate him?!” Cameron shouts snapping. Her yelling causes Chase to burst out in tears. House looks at the 2 of them with wide eyes before wordlessly going and putting himself in the corner. He plops down and starts gently crying while Cameron tries her best to consol Chase.

That’s the site that Foreman, Wilson and Cuddy walk into. “Oh boy…” Wilson mutters, taking in the chaotic site.

“Right!” Cuddy says, putting on a cheerful voice and taking control of the situation. All heads turn towards her. “Foreman” She says, addressing the ‘oldest’. “You’ve done such a good job hon but we’ve got it from here. Why don’t you go read a book?” She says gently, wanting Foreman to get to be a kid too. Foreman shuffles over to the kiddy bookshelf and picks up a chapter book before settling into a beanbag.

“Cameron, come here.” A wide eyed and sniffling Cameron shuffles over to Cuddy. “I’m sorry” She says before Cuddy can say anything. The tears start flowing and she babbles, “I tried I did but peanut took Bobby n then tried to stop his cries by covering his mouth and I yelled I shouldn’t have because I was in charge and im so so sorry” She finishes, sobbing.

Cuddy just pulls her into her arms. “It’s alright Bambi, none of you should’ve have been put in that position.” She looks over to a very overwhelmed Wilson. “Wilson, can you go and grab House?” She asks, knowing Wilson will deal with House best.

Cuddy continues consoling Cameron and Chase while Wilson and House chat. It takes a good 5 minutes but eventually Wilson comes back over, holding hands with a yawning and red eyed House and Foreman, whose dropped a little more and is rubbing his eyes.

“Ok! Naptime” Cuddy forces herself to announce cheerfully. To her surprise, no one fought her on it. So the little group of six walked to an empty ward, Cuddy holding Chase on her hip and Cameron with her other hand and Wilson holding hands with House and Wilson. Cuddy glared at every employee who opened their mouths.

Soon, the odd little group was all tucked in and Cuddy and Wilson were left watching them sleep.

“We are NEVER letting them regress by themselves again,” Cuddy says into the quiet.

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