vistakai

[vistakai]

beer before liquor: adorn a vest of wicker

liquor before beer: the wraith draws near

[vistakai]

is anyone else feeling stuck and waiting for something that will never come in order to start living or is it just me?

[vistakai]

happy 100th birthday to the humble caesar salad

[vistakai]

the thing about queerbaiting is that it kind of rules

[vistakai]

indeed search for "jobs that don't make you feel like you are being chased by tigers." zero results.

[vistakai]

[vistakai]

"u have no friends" wrong!!!! every cat in the world is my best friend

[vistakai]

Really cool thing that happens as a medical receptionist is getting a fifteen minute long run down of someone's deeply personal traumas when you just asked for their insurance card

#told a guy today that even though he was over an hour late for his appointment i will try to see if we can fit him in #and he immediately told me that all of his children are dead #like okay? #did they die today? #did they make you late for your annual physical?? #why do i need to know this information

[vistakai]

[vistakai]

irrationally aggravated by people who see me talk about body hair in some fashion and go “but what if I shave for sensory reasons?” the fuck does that have to do with me? are you asking me for permission? absolution? you want me to hand you an exemption card? “but what if I shave for sensory reasons?” well since you feel the need to ask I guess the answer is you have to go to feminist jail and there’s now a bounty on your head. whatever.

#thinking about a girl I went onna date with once #who seemed more interested in this date as public proof #of her bisexuality #than actually having a good time out with me

[vistakai]

[vistakai]

god she is always serving cunt.

[vistakai]

my dad is literally the tagolog speaking version of that white guy on YouTube who learns those rare Chinese dialects to shock locals. No one expects this 63 year old white Irish man from new jersey to speak Tagalog. He is the novelty du jour at the hospital every time

#he is not fluent but he's getting there #(we attend a filipino church and many of my dads cloest friends are from there) #(so he has been learning)

[vistakai]

[vistakai]

I WISH THINGS HAD TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY!!!!!!!!! goes to the supermarket

[vistakai]

Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

[vistakai]

Funny how a little beef between drake and kendrick and suddenly it’s all anyone is talking about and so everyone has just forgotten that young thug is currently in possession of an ancient staff of unknown power