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Excuses For Why We Failed At Love
by Warsan Shire
Iâm lonely so I do lonely things
Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same.
You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood.
I was wandering the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home.
Youâre a ghost town Iâm too patriotic to leave.
I stay because youâre the beginning of the dream I want to remember.
I didnât call him back because he likes his girls voiceless.
Itâs not that he wants to be a liar; itâs just that he doesnât know the truth.
I couldnât love you, you were a small war.
We covered the smell of loss with jokes.
I didnât want to fail at love like our parents.
You made the nomad in me build a house and stay.
Iâm not a dog.
We were trying to prove our blood wrong.
I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things.
Yes, Iâm insecure, but so was my mother and her mother.
No, he loves me he just makes me cry a lot.
He knows all of my secrets and still wants to kiss me.
You were too cruel to love for a long time.
It just didnât work out.
My dad walked out one afternoon and never came back.
I canât sleep because I can still taste him in my mouth.
I cut him out at the root, he was my favorite tree, rotting, threatening the foundations of my home.
The women in my family die waiting.
Because I didnât want to die waiting for you.
I had to leave, I felt lonely when he held me.
Youâre the song I rewind until I know all the words and I feel sick.
He sent me a text that said âI love you so bad.â
His heart wasnât as beautiful as his smile
We emotionally manipulated one another until we thought it was love.
Forgive me, I was lonely so I chose you.
Iâm a lover without a lover.
Iâm lovely and lonely.
I belong deeply to myself .
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Mars sign: what gives you energy đ„
Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion
I want to do a self-care in astrology series. đżđ±
Today we are discussing Mars sign. It shows what (re)energizes you, gives you even more energy in your daily life.
You can try it out by viewing it as a tool or fuel to stay more focused in your day-to-day life and read to take on new daily tasks.
đ„ARIES MARSđ„
do something for the first time
initiate a family gathering, friends gathering, host a party
learn more info, data about a topic you are passionate about
do a face mask/sheet mask
try outperforming someoneđ no, but hear me out, try to do/be better or work better than someone you admire or are inspired by, you thrive in competition
rearrange something in your home so that it gives you a feeling of newness
try an at-home workout
explore who you are, take those personality tests
sip a hot drink with your feet up
celebrate the small wins
build a pillow fort
go for a haircut
go for a bike ride
jump in puddles
đ„TAURUS MARSđ„
prepare someone or yourself a snack from natural ingredients (seasonal fruits, especially red, green and yellow fruits)
bake
put on perfume, deodorant
go to zumba or any dance class
literally go out and smell the roses, pleasant smelling flowers
order in food and do nothing all evening
sip and paint
draw and colour (or invest in a colour-book)
treat yourself to a fancy drink or make it yourself (like cocktail, premium hot chocolate etc.)
cook a special or a new meal
diffuse essential oils
light your favourite candle
tea time
wrap yourself in a blanket
create a morning and evening routine
đ„GEMINI MARSđ„
share information, talk more, teach a friend/sibling new facts, knowledge, information
watch an inspiring, informative YouTube video, a documentary
learn how to make cocktails
use public transportation and go to a city area youâve never been before
journal, vent, talk about memories, emotions in a journal/notes app
play board games or cards
go to Escape room
make a blog and vent
watch an animated movie
practice breathwork
create a texting support group
have a staycation, but in your own town at a hotel
live your phone outside of bedroom at night
count things you are grateful for
đ„CANCER MARSđ„
spend more time with close friends, family members
take care of someone/something (an animal, plant, a sibling) and nurture them, feed them, prepare them a meal, a snack
host a picnic, barbecue, a dinner, lunch in your home
make a collage
write, listen to music, songs
make a monthly, themed music playlist
bake, prepare a home-cooked meal
make tea or iced tea
plan birthday, christmas gifts for family members or close friends
clean your room, kitchen, bathroom
make a bath, take a shower
make your own rage journal đ you know you want to cuss your loved one out without saying it to their face and hurt their feelings
play billiards
stargazing
cuddle someone, give them a hug
put on fresh sheets
ask for a hug
đ„LEO MARSđ„
rollerblade, go skating, skateboarding
send your crush a text/voice message/a photo
look at your previous acknowledgements, wins from tourments, medals and use them as a reminder that once you were already enough confident to do it
make home videos, literally make a movie for example about home-cooked meals for an interest you have
if you have a hobby or an interest in something (for example birds, WW2, astronomy, telescopes etc.) dedicate 20 min or less per day for that said hobby/interest
read about and learn how to have better posture, your back will be thankful
make a photo wall in your room
hype someone up by commenting on their photo or inspire/encourage a friend who needs it
dance in front of the mirror
take some cute selfies
đ„VIRGO MARSđ„
doodle, journal, draw no matter how not perfect you think it is
basically invest in your own hygiene throughout the day (use that body lotion, body scrub, lip balm, paint your nails, shave, wash your hair etc.), it will make you so renewed.
try to eat at least 2 different fruits or make sure to have a least one nutritious meal per day
STRETCH
bake an apple pie
DIY something
learn how to make non-alcoholic cocktail
go fruit picking
write a thank you note
write a âgrateful forâ list
go cycling
go for a walk for 15 min and quickl come back
go for a quick walk, you walking faster
declutter something
read, invest in your to read list
go to the bookstore
eat a soup, drink fresh juice
answer your friends messages
send your friend a detailed, personal voice message
talk about your day and what youâve already accomplished to a friend
watch animal videos
watch stand up comedy or a humoruous video
put on perfume, deodorant
try guided meditation
clean out your email inbox
đ„LIBRA MARSđ„
treat yourself to fine dining, a lovely meal in a nice restaurant with beautiful atmosphere
go to a concert, group gathering, social gathering with close friends
go for a drink with your bestie and just vent
organise your wardrobe for clothes
iron clothes, clean your shoes
put on an outfit you feel confident and beautiful in like get dressed up for no reason
do a guided meditation
put away your phone for set amount of time
picture collage
T-shirt craft
call someone you appreciated and like and tell them âI love youâ
đ„SCORPIO MARSđ„
aaa LIQUIDS, you are probably not hydrated enough
more juices, but also tea or coffee, warm drinks, water, lemonade, iced tea will lift your spirits
mastrubate lol
go to Escape room
go on a night walk or stargazing
mooove your bodyyy
go on a solo date, take yourself on your dream date and do all the activities only you want to do
get a massage
get at least 8 hours of sleep
face your fears
put on lotion and pjs
invest in a silk pj
make a mug cake
đ„SAGITTARIUS MARSđ„
TRAVEL to gain clarity, perspective, change that scenery, even if this just means going into a forest, to the store, grabbing a coffee/tea
join a party
plan a vaction/day trip/weekend getaway
go on âa tripâ to the mall
learn about airplanes and airports
try playing any ball sport
listen to inspirational stories/speeches
talk to a foreigner, someone on the internet/distant media
speak in a foreign language
go to a museum
video chat with someone
write a bucket list
đ„CAPRICORN MARSđ„
spend time with your parents, call your parents, grandparents
post something worthwhile on your social media platform
progress one step forward in a goal you are trying to achieve in one month
make 1 week, 6 weeks, 1 month, 1 year plans/visual
go in nature, to the nearest park, forest, on the hill
make a music playlist
go to a career centre
join that alumni club
inspire other with your story and how you overcame challenges before/in the past
plan your deadlines
plan your daily self care activities for the month
đ„AQUARIUS MARSđ„
do something spontaneous, what you consider odd, unconventional
travel in your mind or real life by watching videos about planets, space, electric vehicles, astrology and learn about thoss topics
make a comic
join a group gathering or iniciate one
talk about hopes, dreams, purpose with a friend
dabble into social activism
publish something on a platform, something that interest you
visit planetarium
visit a library
watch a webinar or a virtual workshop
listen to a TED talk
spend 10 min giving compliments on Instagram or any other social media
eat three nutritious meals
đ„PISCES MARSđ„
make visionboards in real life or on Pinterest
learn to listen more, more effectively and while someone is tell you a story, PICTURE it in your head
take photos of something you love
listen to music, dance
look at photo album on your phone or a real one
take a bath, a shower
go swimming
take a walk along a body of water
take yourself on a picnic in nature, by the water, park
read a book, kindle, a magazine, newspaper
buy artwork
make a freshed pressed fruit juice and drink it
write a thank you note to someone, a postcard, give them a small, thoughtful gift
watch stand up comedy
make a music playlist
garden, take care of plants
learn more about photography
visit a gallery, museum
watch an animated movie
help someone in need, be charitable, offer something to a homeless person
put more photos, artwork on your walls
learn about oceans, submarines, sea life, cruises, resorts, hotels
visit aquarium
watch reruns of your favourite sitcom
Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion
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Astro Observations 1
My first Astro observations post, I would like to confirm that my observations are the niche ways in which a placement may manifest, it is the way Iâve noticed it in others, the people around me, celebrities, myself and in my studies. It is not the doctrine wide broad way the placement occurs for everyone.
Venus in 10th house natives tend to be well known for the person they may date. They tend to date people that really match them physically and can have their relationships idolized by others. The sign itâs under can show what their partners may be known for. This is also a common placement for celebrities because the interest from others in your love life increases your public image, making you more desirable and of interest to everyone including agencies/record labels, they will see your influential potential and love that. Even if you guys donât date anyone people may have someone in mind who they think matches you or others can just look at you and wonder what your âtypeâ is. Your love life in itself is of interest to others.
Eg. Chris Brown, Johnny Depp, Jimin, Victoria Beckham, Kristen Stewart, Billie Eilish, Kanye West.
Another way Venus 10th housers may manifest is they may have crushes on renowned key figures from history like JFK, Alexander Hamilton, Stalin, Cleopatra, Marilyn Monroe, royal monarchy literally any people of historical significance. (Saturn influence is long lasting and for Venus to be here it can make natives romanticise powerful historical figures)
Pluto 3rd housers can dominate the conversations they have with others so much that they donât let the other person have their own opinion.
Capricorn Chiron in 6th house makes people feel worthless and terrible if they havenât been productive for a day, these people donât like to be lazy, it makes them feel inferior. They put a lot of pressure on themselves to produce and their day routine may be their greatest pride.
10H stellium always have career plans, they like to advance their CV and career prowess for fun, always taking up opportunities. Especially if sun is here.
12H stellium always posting the weirdest stuff that others donât understand but it has a unique vibe to it that just feels ârightâ at the same time, they may have this aesthetic that feels eery but overtime enjoyable and something to look forward to because of its uniqueness. I have a 12H stellium friend and they always post pictures of weird random abandoned places with crocs and dirty teddy bears laying in the middle of them. At first I thought it strange but overtime, I look forward to what monstrosity of visuals they will bring next. 12H really does bring out things never seen before. đ€
Venus in 1H makes you look very feminine, you may style yourself in a feminine manner or have a naturally feminine appearance. Eg. Leo Venus in 1H May have very beautiful feminine looking long hair.
1H Libra Mars has a similar effect as Venus in the 1H however these natives have a hint touch of masculinity, are rather playboy, Casanova and can have a big ego. Think of Flynn rider from tangled. Very pretty boy.
People with 12H Capricorn placements may procrastinate or find difficulty in bringing the planets in there into reality and get frustrated at themselves for it. Itâs similar to the planet being in retrograde E.g a 12H Capricorn moon not being able to fully show or act on the way they feel in their head. Look at the house of where Saturn is in your chart to find the topics and how you can bring the energy of your Capricorn 12H planets out.
0 degrees for any planet or asteroid means that you embody that planet/asteroid and its sign in its most pure authentic form. It can make you the epithet of that placement.
Lilith Square Asc makes someone not able to escape looking like a bad boy/girl it always comes out in their appearance without them intending to. They donât want to present themselves in a way that looks scandalous but at the same time a part of them is and they canât escape that. Itâs like an energy. Theyâre dynamic and free, they like what they like and that shows in their face and appearance. They also canât change things about themselves to please others even if they wanted to.
Jupiter 1H usually have big features, like a glossy kind of look to them. It may be big eyes, flushed face, supple puffy skin, wide nose or just have an abundant looking face. Iâve also noticed they tend to have a squared shape face with rounded edges. E.g Hailey Beiber, Abraham Lincoln, Gerard Butler, Aishwarya Rai, Niall Horan, Ashton kutcher, Whitney Houston, Cristiano Ronaldo
Also this is completely random and not astrologically backed up but whenever I think of Jupiter 1H I just think of clear gleaming skin. Perhaps it is backed up astrologically as Jupiter blesses and brings luck to the house itâs in and it being in the 1st rules a natives appearance. Anyways when I think of Jupiter 1st house I always imagine that they donât need very much makeup they have this glow to them already that cannot be copied.
Virgo ASC style and dress themselves in a way thatâs unique for them, for an example they may always have a signature accessory that they wear that only they understand why itâs so important to be worn. E.g. can be a headband, jewellery or hat. They may also be consistent in the way they look, they donât tend to have âbad daysâ. In my personal opinion I find Virgo rising men the most attractive. But beauty is in the perspective of the beholder.
Speaking of which, my unpopular opinion is that I donât believe that a sign or planet can make you more beautiful than another sign E.g like how people say Venus, libra and Taurus is an indicator of being beautiful -I just think that each sign personifies beauty in a different way. In my eyes I see Libra and Venus beauty to be feminine and attractive, but I find Pluto Scorpio beauty to be alluring and intense, magnetic, like Phantom of the opera, like an enchanting vampire that resides in the shadows. I also find Uranus Aquarius beauty to be far more entrancing, striking and even as if the native looks like their from a game fantasy novel or a manga protagonist. I donât think we can just say âhaving Venus prominent makes someone more beautiful than othersâ, perhaps conventionally but not universally. Planets and signs of the first house can show us HOW the beauty is made manifest. It being of Venus, libra influence just kind of makes it feminine or conventionally attractive like butterflies or roses rather than intense or of large magnitude (unless making aspects to magnifying planets like Jupiter)
Aquarius moons can feel a lot of emotions but theyâre very good at holding it in. People say that they donât feel much because the nature of Aquarius being detached however Iâve also seen it occur in a way where the Aquarius moon native may pretend theyâre not hurt or sad so that they can keep it pushing and force this happy facade so it hurts less but in reality their just burying the pain deeper. They are kind of avoidant but it makes you feel sorry for them because even if you try to comfort them they donât even acknowledge the pain themselves so it doesnât make much of a difference.
Jupiter in 6th house always have action packed days, they spend their days with joy and have a really good time. They usually have their dream day to day life. Theyâre your one friend that is always doing something interesting, fully booked and loves it.
Jupiter 8H are never strapped for cash, these natives can just be very lucky in getting money from others. Especially if in harmonious aspects with sun, Pluto and Venus. If aspects are negative native still doesnât worry much but may find that people are a little more hesitant to giving or Jupiter 8H native doesnât want to ask for it.
Mars 1H makes someone want to work harder on their body by going to the gym, may want to look more manly, aggressive.
Jupiter conjunct moon in 7th house makes you a very passionate lover, anyone who is in a relationship with you can always feel excited and you excel in relationships.
Mercury conjunct ascendant can make someone always think about their goals, plan their next move. They use their minds to get what they want from life and can talk about the principles they apply to themselves which can make them look rather intelligent to others. Can also make someone appear very youthful, not only in appearance but their mannerisms too. Like a dimply smile, blushing and shaking their head when complimented. An animated response.
Moon opposite asc, tends to make a person unable to think clearly when emotions are involved, especially when itâs related to topics in the house your moon is in, like you can look a little mentally unstable here đ because your emotions that you show can drastically change from 0-100. moon opp asc also can have a person go against what they want, their principles and approach to life, the opposition forces them to deny their feelings existence in order to act in the way they believe is best. You can even care more about your image than the themes of the moons house.
E.g 7H moon opposite ascendant can make someone care about their image in the relationship, display an image of nonchalance when in reality theyâre very protective of their partner. The feelings from their partner and their relationship can be irresistible and make them at times abandon their vices and plans for themselves
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