Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin Vol. 1
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V.E. Schwab, Vicious
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𝚃𝚈𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙻. 𝙼.
@vargher . king’s landing , morning , present .
margaery knew this event would be large, lord’s and lady’s from all of the minor and major houses — knew that sansa’s kin would all be here from the north. apart from her father, of course, a tragic drama that still twisted her heart though she would not let it show. she knew not to let it show. still, she could not imagine the position the other was in. all of that to say that, even though she was aware that his kin would be here, there is still surprise to find lord robb stark — or king robb as the north called him — in attendance.
he is touched with death and war, she can see it. she’d seen it on the knight’s who had come back from robert’s rebellion, almost a walking corpse in some moments — dead behind the eyes, yet seeing the horrors that had come to pass. she had tried to be light for them, as she will try to be light now.
“ is there any hope that i might be able to have a moment? ”
𝙸𝙽𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳, 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚁 𝙸𝚂 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴. those who would still call him a boy king knew not the man who was the murderer of his own childhood, who had made his god stillness. the days where he had laughed exchanged for days where he grew teeth, turned to a season to sow and a season to reap. grief will always be a butchery, his sisters the bearers of the carving knife most of all, their brother now borne by survival — suffering loneliness and loss under the weight of his own making. robb is not the good - natured youth the lady once glimpsed through cascading snow, sparring in the yard whilst she conversed with sansa in the hall. he had not the time to meet her then, still a lord heir engaged in hereditary duty well before the roar of the north bent the knee. it saves him now from spoiling the likeness of whatever chevalier his sister had spun. margaery tyrell will always know him more beast than man. ‘ you are welcome to do so, lady margaery [...] but your house is sworn to the lannisters. and when i am done with them, i will march to the reach and root your kin from their keep, should they cause further abuse of mine. ’ she is right to be wary of his presence. he cannot blame her for it, bringing war past southron gates and usurping a great deal of land. but he will not apologize for it. the warn of his tone is built upon apprehension and caution, threat well founded after all he’s confronted. this is the only peace he has for lannisters and their allies. and if he hesitates, they have already lost.
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𝚆𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶. 𝙹.
𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : after the battle at oxcross, a wounded wolf
𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 : 299 a.c.
𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 : robb stark ( @vargher ).
A girl had seen death and the dying before. Life was full of it no matter how limited some ones world was it was an unavoidable occurrence. Eyes had held within their gaze mangled men and sights lords wished to shield delicate daughters from. Jeyne’s eyes had never been barred from those sights even if her parents had wished to keep her from such horrors. The old maester had required assistance on cases like that where the village healer’s knowledge could not help and he could not fully see. So a girl learned and she saw knowing that if she were a man, she would be beside her brother or father on the fighting fields because it was required or she would train to become a maester unlocking the extra bit of knowledge denied to her. Jeyne had experience with the more gruesome, with sickness and injury. Still she’d never beheld the battlefields or the aftermath of them - nor had she been caught behind enemy lines as she found herself now.
Even as fighting was over the danger was still incredibly real. The Lannisters had not won, forces here had been decimated and lions had been sent running. Wolves prowled the field, stained with blood and she if caught and recognized as a lady- the consequences would’ve been great though she doubted Lannisters would pay in to any ransom demands. They had not yet for father or other lords. While good sense told her to collect her travel companions, to try and find the house knight she traveled with and make haste far away Jeyne could not allow herself to flee. There were injured men, men and women who needed her skill regardless of who they fought for. There was a chance to save lives after destruction and engage in far more rewarding work than embroidering seashells or collecting dust in the Crag wait for some sort of life to expand beyond the limits she already knew too well. Hands, delicate and strong were tainted with the blood of soldiers like the ground was stained with it and blue and green hues of hazel eyes glanced across the field to look for bodies she may have known. She looked for the house knight that had travelled with her that had insisted the young lady say behind and wait till soldiers cleared out or there was an opportunity to evade wild northmen.
There was no sign of the older man, part of her worried she would find him among those no longer alive knowing when they heard the fighting he made her stay with the innkeeper’s wife not seeing her protector return. There was no staying behind, no waiting idly like a scared little mouse cowering in the corner in the backroom of an inn. Jeyne was too honorable for that, too skilled in the healing arts and treatment of wounds to do nothing. Even if the knight or the septa she travelled with came back to the inn the stubbornness and determination of Jeyne saw her here, dressed like no fine or great lady but as she would be if allowed to do what she secretly trained for.
A gentle hand stained as crimson as some of the ground was worked tirelessly wrapping bandages in the field around wounds waving over whomever it was to collect the man regardless of his side to seek closer medical attention “He needs medicine I don’t have with me - milk of the poppy to ease his pain. The wound will heal - he can keep his limbs if you keep it clean from infection. I don’t know his name or who he fought for just help save him for the mother that worries over him” Jeyne called out as two large men came to collect the boy and the young woman that had been there with her went along with the solider that was barely more than just a boy. Wiping blood from her hands, pushing back stray strands of her hair back she called out to the other that went with him. No matter if that soldier had been the 10th or 20th young man the Westerling woman had given her all to help. While this was not for the faint of heart, Jeyne would stay to look for her knight or other companions. “Until the field is cleared - I can’t leave them without some sort of help - let these hands be good for some thing if not keeping some of them alive longer. Go on ahead”. Turning around though when the young lady that wore the aftermath of the battle on her apron and mud on her dress was face to face with a great beast. A direwolf
𝙰 𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙰𝚁, 𝙰 𝚆𝙴𝚃 𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙼𝚃𝙷 𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙲𝚄𝚁𝙻𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳. he cannot recall the moment the shield met his temple, bursting the vessels about the iris and rupturing the eardrum in an earsplitting echo. the blood had rushed hot and thick down his neck, blinded one eye from the skin split above the brow, sword hand made slick by a steady stream of ichor, courtesy of a well - aimed bolt to the shoulder. there was a point he parried the fall of an axe head, his blade flat against his palms, pressing upward whilst his back sunk into vermillion mud, then grey wind’s jaws rent wide to seize the foe by the throat. but it has all become a blur. the battle won, adrenaline begins to wane, surrendering in its wake a war - battered body — a numb, paralyzed cavern, a pit of hell to mimic nothingness, solid but hollow. in the end of it, men are stagnant between sleep and death. robb grasps the forearms of ailing brothers, heaving their weights from the mutilated dirt despite the fatigue closing in. desperate gasps shadow the loss of limbs, soldiers he’s ne’er witnessed shed sorrow drug to the depths of despair. he has led them here. and how different is he from the lion, slaughtering fathers and their sons, making orphans of daughters and widows of wives so that he may reclaim his own ? the lord greyjoy’s words resound now, recollected where the young wolf tasted his first victory. ‘ the bards will sing songs of their sacrifice. ’ [...] ‘ aye, but the dead won’t hear them. ’ as he surveys the valley now, the phantom crown at its most leaden, he can only regard the king in the north as a boy who sends their men to die. gods, he wanted jon. he wanted his lord father in command. he wanted an epilogue to a tale that had only just begun. the deep bone ache of raw wounds reaps a give in robb’s stride, the wolf at his side shifting close. the bellows of grave mortals, of dying destriers, dulls in clamour as souls are swept up by the wind. he has strayed far from the north’s healing tents when the drain of blood finally flushes his physique. a woman in haste turns, met by his grey wind first. she is the tether to the living in a corpse - strewn land. ‘ my lady [...] under which banner do you heal from ? ’ the direwolf’s cranium dips low, a heavy growl forming in the throat. robb’s fingers twist in the soot - hued fur above the vertebrae, the beast all which stands betwixt his master and the dead - littered ground.
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— Tatève Simonyan
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There’s an animal inside and it won’t let me die.
page from Rhythm of the War Drums
(via morozv)
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Norse Viking Music - Úlfhéðnar
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It is incredibly traumatic for a warg if the animal whose mind they have entered dies while they are controlling it, but the warg will survive this. If a warg's own body is killed while entering the mind of an animal, however, the warg's human consciousness can live on inside of the animal.
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𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙾𝙽. 𝚂.
𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : the northern camp just outside the village of brindlewood, the crownlands.
𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 : twenty sixth day, second seed, 300 a.c.
𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 : robb stark ( @vargher ).
the journey to the capital would have been smoother had they chosen to take to the seas rather than the road. it was only a three - day sail from the port of dragonstone to king’s landing though the amount of coin being borrowed from the westerlands as well as the iron bank meant that the blackwater bay would be packed like a jar of brined sardines and with their father already in the capital, overseeing the enforcement of law on the king’s small council, shireen had been sent to join the northern camp, laying down the ground work for a proper stark - baratheon alliance in his place. there would be no time to discuss such matters once the walls of the red keep were in sight, neither did their father trust anyone who worked within the palace enough to be so forward with his intentions, so the idea had sprung to use them as a mouth piece, of sorts, though they would have to soften his presentation in order to secure the trust of these solemn northerners.
( it was a fair idea and one that they wholeheartedly supported, well aware that their father sometimes lacked the patience for such back and forth conversations, but as they disembarked from their chestnut brown mare when camp broke for the evening, shireen could not help but regret the decision they had made to volunteer to play emissary on behalf of stannis baratheon when there had been more experienced men willing to make the journey. )
still, aching limbs aside, they refused to leave the preparations for the evening to the foot soldiers alone. there was much one could learn about the high lords from the men who served them and while house stark had been cordial in their acceptance of the small party from dragonstone into the fold, they could not help but wonder if the peaceable disguise was just that ─ a disguise to throw them off the scent until their allegiances were exposed. they could not blame the northerners, if that was the case, for their father had recently been accepting back into the small council under the pretense of loyalty to king joffrey, but hopefully eddard stark had uncovered enough of the late jon arryn’s investigations to place their father by his side before his death. striding down from the hilltop where the carriages had been gathered and the horses had been tied, to the small clearing that now housed multiple tents, shireen balanced a crate of potatoes on one hip, their free hand outstretched for balance upon the uneven, slanting ground.
passing the young wolf, who seemed to be gazing off into the distance as his pup trotted back to his side, they hummed gently to make their presence known as they walked by, bumping their unburdened hip against his side. ❝ here now, stark … why don’t you stop counting the clouds and give us peasants a hand ? ❞ with a light tone, their voice held a teasing element as they watched the wolf - pup ( who was more grown - wolf, if they were being truthful ) come to a halt by the other side of it’s master, tucking it’s head beneath robb stark’s palm.
𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙺𝚈 𝙴𝚈𝙴𝚂. white, grey and soulless. hands slack, the young wolf’s mouth floods with iron. beyond brindlewood, grey wind’s vermillion - varnished tongue laps at effervescent viscera. robb is comatose, a disquieted pause in the rise and fall of his once enervated chest. he is as still as the gravestone figures within winterfell’s hallowed halls, where wolves will one day howl in homage and intern him to age - old departed depths. gods, do not let me be remembered as the king who lost the north. for he would not be the king who knelt, a honed blade in hand, bound to death before dishonour. he peers through the predatory gaze of his towering beast, an imbrued maw hovering above the carcass of a brawny elk where he tastes more than the contused flesh of man. a drifter, shapeshifter, his host lets him run. the direwolf is a smoke - grey blur, remarkably lithe despite the advancing girth of monstrous frame. he has long outgrown bran’s shaggy pony, rivaling a sixteen - hand charger which shies as he lopes down dirt - trodden road. the northern camp is perceived through grey wind’s golden stare, a pack of his men parting to grant the great wolf passage, extended strides reduced to a trot upon approach. he does not feel the bump of their hip, but watches through a beast’s sharpened sense, ears pricked and cranium canting at the sight.
the bleached pigment of dual irises dissipates, oceanic hue bursting back through the pupil. he is returned by a soft intake of breath, years of practice having shed the desperate gasp of resurrection. with not a sole trusted brother beside him, he is fortunate to find his body devoid of knife, keen point burrowed deep betwixt the leather strappings of armoured plating. there is blood canvassing grey wind’s muzzle, his snout, phantom - coating the young wolf’s throat. ‘ and what of your men, lady shireen ? ’ robb queries, head tilt towards her. a nod as he stalks forth, his wolf in stride, stag - crested soldiers clanging their tankards atop a barrel some feet from their position. ‘ they look far too in their cups to lend you a hand. ’ halting a breadth before her, what strained curiosity survived his vision shifts into well - earned caution. grey wind sniffs at the woman’s boot, blows hot air through the nostrils, scents the length of her pant leg, huffs, circles and studies. when he settles, her presence sanctioned for the while, robb allows shireen’s attention to linger a prolonged few seconds, the focus upon looming canine enough for him to relieve them of a hefty crate. ‘ after you, my lady. ’
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𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝙺. 𝙴.
location: winterfell
time: before leaving for king’s landing
with: @vargher
from: dear ole dad
he is too young. gods, he is too young to be ruling in my stead. and yet, ned had only been a few years older when he’d gone to war at robert’s behest. he was angry. angry that lyanna had gone. angry that his father and brother were gone. angry. angry and young. he hoped robb would never be that.
gods only knew the consequences of that.
“you’re too old for me to tell you to listen to your mother, but… well, you will need to listen to your mother. you must also be strong, robb.” ned placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. then, his cheek. “i should tell you not to write to me. to be strong and sure of your decisions as you make them. but i am selfish. write to me all you wish. your words will be a comfort to me when i am south.”
𝚆𝙾𝙻𝚅𝙴𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙾𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙽𝙴𝙲𝙺. where the pack is displaced, the snow turned to slush, heavy furs stripped by southern heat whilst paws sink into leaden mud. grey wind has grown uneasy, lips curled back to bare whet teeth, stalking the shadow of robb’s assertive stride. SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT. a palm placed upon his shoulder, the lord heir sets his jaw, the piercing blue of both starks eyes a great yawning mirror, reflecting an opposing set of duties where father and son must soon part. ‘ you must also be strong, robb. ’ his breath is carried by the cold, a cloud of mist to mark the finality of farewells. ‘ i will. ’ I MUST BE — for bran and rickon, for mother, for arya and sansa and jon, far they may be. AS IS MY DUTY. ‘ i will hold the seat of winterfell until your return. ’ he would brave the harrowing storm, fight his own bleeding battles, speak his words with restive truth as one wed to honour. ‘ father [...] promise me you’ll be careful. there must always be a stark in winterfell, aye, but you are the warden of the north. this is where you belong. ’
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it eats me alive.
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𝚂𝙽𝙾𝚆. 𝙹.
@vargher . winterfell , early evening , flashback .
Tethered by blood and sinew, or something more? Perhaps he had always been a part of Robb, just as Robb is a part of him. Except Jon’s soul is splintered, torn between the ground and the mountains. He feels like no matter how large the shard of his heart he’d give to his brother, it would never be enough to keep him warm. Robb deserved kingdoms, forests that weep wet snow at his approach, mines that cry out in gold droplets at his arrival. A heir, yes, but someone of substance — a fortress of his own right, strong and undaunting amid the howling winds. They grew crooked, in some ways. Trying to bask in that lukewarm sunlight before it disappeared behind the horizon line. He remembered Robb would play alongside him in the puddles as young boys, filled to the brim with hot stew and rye. Robb hadn’t looked at him as if he were some mangy stray, a mutt that had no mother —- and barely had a whole father. Surely, this hasn’t changed? Surely, Robb still thinks of him as a brother, nothing less. Although, there had been moments when he caught his own reflection rippling in the barrel’s surface before dunking underneath the water. His hollow eyes, sullen features — a mixture of some dead thing come back to haunt the Stark children. To remind them that he still trails behind their footprints, leaving creature-like ones in the snow after him. Yes, he thinks to himself: Robb would be more than okay without him. Robb would take to battle like a dog to a bone. Still, the worry erodes his features — and his greeting of Grey Wind is paused as his smile forms into a frown. His gloved hand dropped, the breath clouds in front of him as the daylight wanes around them. ‘Take care of him, would y'boy?’ Mumbling to the direwolf, the golden eyes staring back at him, non-blinking, as if digesting the request of the bastard as delicately as a royal’s. Ghost had been avoiding them both, predictable in his long bouts of disappearances — except this time he suspected it had more to do with him missing Robb as well. He had never been good at saying goodbye, although he knew Ghost would return to nudge his snout against Robb’s hand during a dark winter’s night. He turns to greet the footsteps of the Stark, sensing it was Robb before he fully faces him. He had a presence to him unlike the other siblings. An easy confidence built on hereditary duty. ‘What’re y’feeding him, Robb? He’s growing quicker than the rest of them.’
𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝙱𝙴 𝚂𝙴𝙿𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝚈 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴, 𝙱𝚈 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴, 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙼𝙴𝙴𝚃 𝙰𝙶𝙰𝙸𝙽 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙰𝙶𝙰𝙸𝙽. this is what robb vows, brows furrowed and rage gripped in the hands, as his lord father imparts the news. jon will take the black, swear his oaths to the night’s watch and its shrouded brothers. its brothers. HE IS MY BROTHER. the misery is strikingly plain — in the stubborn set of his jaw, the slate of his grey eyes, the sudden ire refining otherwise handsome features. he cannot permit such unbridled fervor depart the chamber. like many times past and many times to come, the heir of winterfell must lift his heavy - laden head and steel his thoughts, tame the wolf blood before it absconds in a snarl. IS IT MOTHER ? a man not grown would demand such response, and he is neither naïve nor a boy without comprehension of his station. ‘ robb, are you listening ? ’ rage is stuck in the throat, bitten through the bottom lip, suppressed. it makes no sound, a promise kept. ‘ aye, i understand. ’ the lord robb stark sheds no tears, nerves dry ice as he descends the steps of his tower’s stone keep. JON WILL BE IN THE YARD, grey wind resolute, molten stare unblinking, unwavering like his master’s.
he is faced with his brother’s back when they are usually aligned at the shoulder, spines linear, leather spaulders brushing, swapping strident grins as they trip the other at the ankle in the training yard. robb allows himself a final knit of the brow before the tension is thawed from his character, and jon pivots on his heel to meet him. ❛ a southron lord or two. gods know they have plenty of fat to spare. perhaps his grace joffrey baratheon, if he takes a liking to sansa. ❜ grey wind finds his place beside robb’s hip, the raise of his cranium near the waist, each passing moon serving to nourish the beast’s maturing frame. a soft gale stirs his auburn curls, prompts the eldest stark to address the revelation at hand. WE WILL MEET AGAIN AND AGAIN. robb flashes white canines, swallows the sorrow that claws up his throat. ❛ the wall has stood for hundreds of years. it can stand for a hundred more. especially with you there to guard it, sword in hand and ghost at your side [...] that is, if you don’t fall off the top. ❜
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Fight till the last gasp.
William Shakespeare, Henry VI (via bunlly)
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