vangoggles

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Vintage wind-up toy bear (USSR, 1920s-30s)

#shamepd... #so shape

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via lagunavintage

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the snail

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POV you’re the king and i just made an inappropriate joke about your virility in front of the whole royal court and you want to punish me but you can’t react in anger lest the court think my joke is true

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showering:

pros: you get to feel clean. you get non greasy hair, non oily feeling skin, it just in general makes you feel better, more energised, refreshed.

cons: there are so many steps. oh my god are there so many steps. before getting into the shower there are steps. during the shower there are steps. and once youve gotten out of the shower? guess what!!! more fucking steps!!!!!!!! UGHHHH

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caught yellow handed at the scene of the turmeric spilling crime

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partner and i finished season 4 of Dexter. too bad there isn't any more. shame they stopped making it.

#hate watching can only take us so far

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can't eat cottage cheese without thinking "well! maybe i'll get a son who WILL finish his cottage cheese"

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lotion is a substance that exists to make your skin not feel gross and dry by making your skin feel gross and wet <3

#i use a lotion that dries and then feels gross and slippery 💕

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i wanna date someone and live with them in a shitty apartment but be happy about it because we are happy together and we can decorate it with stupid dorky posters of shit we like and figurines and art and we can cook weird recipes we found on the internet and eat them and watch cartoons even if the food is gross because we made it and we’re perfect

#i also liked and reblogged this before and am now currently living with my partner and thinking about decor for the end table on the balcony #perhaps a little potted plant or candle lantern

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god i really thought you people were lying about laois and kabru just for the sake of pretending like there is a gay little thing going on when its questionably textual at best but this shit is for real fascinating. unprecedented. master manipulator kabru playing both sides operating behind six layers of sublimated yaoi to obsessively plot laois' downfall. and on the other side of the coin notable Grade A Grass-Fed Freak laois touden experiencing a completely normal crush on the first pretty man to demonstrate polite interest in his passions and hobbies. i can only imagine laois is gonna be out here milking minotaurs like 'hm. if kabru was here now...i wonder if he would enjoy this too..... that would be nice (:' whilst kabru is pacing a deep furrow in the cobblestones clear on the other side of the dungeon vowing up and down that he will commit to sucking laois' dick meat clean off the bone if it might bring him one step closer to seeing his head on a pike

#partner and i say 'youre a little freak' abt those two the most often. they are. little freaks

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Paul Frank

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sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

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this THC pen is supposed to taste like strawberry but very specifically tastes like pink lemonade

#that's pussy babe!