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valeovalairs · 6 hours
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i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday
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valeovalairs · 13 hours
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So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)
Reblog to increase sample size!
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valeovalairs · 14 hours
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A persons fanfic tells you a lot about them, i , a fanfic writer, realize in terror
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valeovalairs · 15 hours
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love how tumblr has decided not to feel bad for the victim of tmagp 13 simply because he’s a finance bro
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valeovalairs · 19 hours
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It makes me happy when they listen
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valeovalairs · 20 hours
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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I present: burnt out gifted kid Samama Khalid everyone
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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BRING OUT THE RED STRING AND CORKBOARDS FOLKS
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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Awesome, here ya go @avrerrotheroach
Again, they’re kind of vague sometimes and unhinged but hopefully they help. They help me at least (the more vague ones are the really memorable ones imo that I don’t have trouble remembering)
So so far we’ve got:
1 Stranger statement that like ate someone’s husband or something? Or not themed them. Idk. Norris read this one.
1 Canaries and the Magnus institute where someone presumably gouged their eyes out? Or maybe it was like, some of Jonah’s Eyes. This was kind of warning, don’t fuck around and find out, don’t go to the Magnus institute. Chester read this one, obviously.
2 Artist gets a painful tattoo from an influencer (ink5oul <3) and then paints themself. Like. PAINTS. Like she is ripping herself apart. And now is in court mandated zoom therapy. Because apparently the paint was actually acid and she wasn’t redesigning herself just melting herself. Very flesh. Bit spiral maybe?
3 Doctor who murdered his wife gets a rash and becomes tree.
4 Violince (violin needs human sacrifice to make really nice music) slaughter? Because music and if no sacrifice people start murdering each other.
5 Horror movie fan does not belong in the horror genre! He is dumb!!! He did not notice any of the horror red flags and probably died!! The anti Joshua gellipsie!!  He who is a horror movie reviewer won  a personal screening to some niche horror movie. The movie was some stalker thing on his life.
6 Needles. (Slay king. Also he sort of reminds me of Michael) he’s so funny. “Sir you’re clearly not well.” “I’d like to change my answer I did stab him” he tried to dox the guy on the phone because he wasn’t scared of needles.
7 Accidentally over hired too many people for a holiday thing at hilltop (!!!) and they were overeager to donate really weird stuff. A buried statement (?)and weird artefacts (maybe a salesa thing? Idk I like the theory of it being connected to the homophobic vase lmao). An unnamed security company arrived and shot up the volunteers and then set the place on fire. Had to relisten to it and only really took in how weird it was on the second listen.
8 Liminal spaces mess with people (lonely?) and there’s some weird people (stranger?). They’re canibalistic??? Divorcee architecture student loses finger and jumps out window.
9 Man slanders dnd and gets cursed d6. It’s dnd irl. Low roll bad things, good roll, good things. Man rolls snake eyes (?) and dies brutally to a truck. And then this idiot rolled it one last time and died too. (This ones a statement from the actual Magnus institute yoo) 
10 BONZOBONZOBONZO (skin clown that murders people and has not soft teeth and maybe can read?)
11 Graveyard construction but corpse got tatted by inksoul (we meet again) and now belongs to the sea. Buried? Lonely (bc sea)????
12 BONZOBONZOBONZO (the bonzo hit that Lena sent out. At a strip club. The bachelor party wanted bonzo to give the groom a lap dance. he proceeded to rip off the grooms arms, tear his face in two, dismember, and then eat everyone in the room a little bit as a snack including the lady making the drinks she just lost her hand. He only killed the groom I think and just ate a bit off of everyone else? She’s suing the strip club, good for her.)
13 Money is evil, guy who got rich with crypto and stuff goes broke and “bets against himself” and because he’s doing shit he gets money. This results in self harm to gain money to the point bro jumps off a cliff to make bank. He loses money because he wasn’t supposed to do that. A bug thing with a drill crawled out of his phone. I didn’t like this guy.
Trying to keep track of cases this time around would anyone be interested in seeing the notes/summaries I have written down for everything?
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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much as i do DESPERATELY hope that [error] is a tma character, i think it would be very very very fun if they were one of the Fucked Up Child Experiments/archive candidate??? left to rot instead . and sam realising This is what he could've become etc and so on
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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just wait until norris starts reading out his poetry unprompted
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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today's "statement" is... the kind of story that season 1 jon would TEAR APART
i wanna hear jon's absolutely SCATHING commentary so fucking bad i can HEAR his (disgruntled sigh) 😂😭
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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Trying to keep track of cases this time around would anyone be interested in seeing the notes/summaries I have written down for everything?
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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Incident people so far:
dice guy who got so deep in character he both killed a man and started wearing fedoras
breaking news! guy wants money so bad that he throws himself off a cliff to get it! watch as he is shocked by the consequences!
treeman treeman treeman TREEMAN TREEMAN TREEMAN
the ocean is gonna fucking GET you
lap dance gone horribly wrong
don't go the magnus institute don't you fucking do it
a children's tv mascot turns out to be just as creepy as we thought it was gonna be
grifters bone 2: regency edition
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valeovalairs · 21 hours
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"People mostly write and read very character driven, specific ship focused fic, because what most people want out of fanfiction is to focus on the romance between characters they're not getting in canon so they can soak in the vibes."
Yes, absolutely. And thank hell for all the authors who write character-driven, ship focused fic for us to soak in the vibes to.
But also…
thank hell for all the authors who write angst, whump, and hurt no comfort, for us to luxuriate in blorbo's hurt and pain and cry or cackle.
thank hell for all the authors who write cheating, love triangles and affairs for us to consume large quantities of popcorn to and yell 'oh no, they didn't'.
thank hell for all the authors who write case fic, mission fic, and intricate, plot-driven stories to replicate the feel of canon, when canon has stopped or gone wrong.
thank hell for all the authors who write 'fix it' fics when canon has betrayed us with bad vibes, plot holes and deaths.
thank hell for all the authors who write poly ships when what we need is just for everyone to get along and screw instead of screw up.
thank hell for all the authors who write gen fic when we're not interested in romance.
thank hell for all the authors in fandom, and all the wonderful, different kinds of fanfiction they write for us.
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