valaratminaforaldrar

[valaratminaforaldrar]

ah the evil cycle of assumign everyne hates you and withdrawing emotionally and rejecting affection and isolating yourself until it feels very very real except its self induced

[valaratminaforaldrar]

horsies

[valaratminaforaldrar]

actually impressed with the level of everyone hates me im feeling rn like my brain is really putting in effort into mqking it feel as real and awful as possible

[valaratminaforaldrar]

i keep telling myself to get off tumblr because it's probably better for me rn but then an hour later i'm a different person so i go on tumblr anyway

#ive changed and in an hour i will change again

[valaratminaforaldrar]

went on a walk ate sandwich drank my favorite drinks still feel awful. looking at horsies last resort

#while continuing to keep my group project group chat on mute #thats the real self care

[valaratminaforaldrar]

once again homicidal because of my group project members why are you like this

#only one month left only one month left only one month left only one month left only one month left only one month left.....................

[valaratminaforaldrar]

[valaratminaforaldrar]

clawing my way through every single day as if anyone would notice if i was gone

#its not like i have a future to live for so like idk #i havent enjoyed anything in weeks im justwaiting for something to killm e at this point god #ishouldnt be on here i have nothing fun or interesting to say

[valaratminaforaldrar]

doing detective work to figure out who people are after they change their tumblr username and pfp at the same time

#i feel so smart when i figure it out though

[valaratminaforaldrar]

group project truly the most evil thing ever probably

#my instinct is always to give people the benefit of the doubt but like i think im too nice a lot of the time so #permission to killmy group members pls

[valaratminaforaldrar]

very hate mtself so much i just want to cry forever night tonight tbh

#i desperately wishi didkt exist<3 #playung dressup games on my phoneuntil i can sleep goodnight

[valaratminaforaldrar]

one (1) single cuddle owuld fix me actually

#fix me for a day at least #well. a couple of hours #or like. one hour maybe. yeah

[valaratminaforaldrar]

[valaratminaforaldrar]

thinking about this video again

[valaratminaforaldrar]

horse

[valaratminaforaldrar]

yeah no i think thats actuallyy enough of having a public mental breakdown need to actually like actually this time log out for a couple of days at least bye

#i really do miss interacting with everyone but i just genuinely cant rn my brain isnt letting me #just here to vent qnd like its just not good idk need to stick to notes app and just like #repeating the thoughts in my head for hours instead #watch me fail in less than 12 hours imnot known for being consistent #but i hope i dont because jesus christ lmao #forget everythingbi said ever im actually so not mentally ill

[valaratminaforaldrar]

ineed to stop loggingonto tumblr to vent. imemdiately logs onto tumblr to vent

#im mentally ill #see i would just delete my account but that wouldnt stop me probably